Airport Queuing Ethics

So, been thinking a bit about acceptable behavior in airports thanks to elAdi's passionate defense of that now dead drunk crazy woman in Arizona a few weeks ago. It is clear that, somehow over time, I have developed a set of ideals for behaving in airports, and especially "how to queue" and "how not to queue". The base goal is to make the inherently tense mass transit process less stressful on myself (if everyone followed my rules) and everyone around me. This applies to check-in, security, immigration, and (to a lesser extend) boarding.

Here is a draft:

• Well defined queues are good. The airlines need to make sure there is enough space, put up those little cattle-corral like things if necessary, and have enough people floating about to keep people organized and prepared. People in queues need to not blur the demarcation, intentionally or unintentionally.
  
• Jumping the queue is NOT cool, unless you are a minor or disabled person under escort by airline/airport staff, flight crew on your way to the aircraft, or unusually cute-n-flirty. (I'm a sucker on that last point.)
  
• Keep your travel group somewhat defined. Sure, the kids can run amok--it's even a bit entertaining. But it should be clear to your fellow queue-mates that your group is a group.
  
• One person cannot hold the position for an entire group. If your luggage is not in the queue, you are not in the queue. Yes, grandma can sit down and not suffer with the rest of us. But when one person and one bag grows into seven, that is not cool.
  
• There is enough space for everyone. Touching, pushing and baggage-jabs are unacceptable. 30 cm or more of space is not going to cost you any time. Chill.
  
• When at the head of the queue, pay attention to the next available agent, desk or whatever. Your lack of interest costs everybody else behind you time and stress.
  
• No shouting or arguing in the queue. If your disagreement with whoever is strong enough that you feel the need to shout, then step away.
  

So, these are my loosely enumerated 'rules' on queing. I should qualify them as only for The West. Different cultures are...different, and I'm not so militant about my own values then.

Twice now (ROM, LGW) I have pro-actively enforced them with my fellow queuers, only to have it blow up. Big time. Like I was expecting to get punched in the face. (Those stories can wait for now )

Queues are dangerous places.

Do the rest of you have rules like this? Hmmm...then again, I bet there is more than one boot who is an offender of stoo's queuing rules.

Rule 1: Try not to breathe hard. If you are a naturally heavy breather please give proper birth.
Rule 2: Dont act shocked at the rules. You knew them, and even if you didnt so what? Take off the belt sir. Take off the shoes too.
Rule 3: Dont EVER complain to me about the rules. Any complaint will be follwed up with, "Fuck you, I'm a patriot." End of story.

quote:

If you are a naturally heavy breather please give proper birth.

Prisa, was that a Freudian slip?

Until last month, I have held to the Proper Queueueueueing (how many U's? and E's?) Ethics. Then I held the line for my parents, who were checking in with my dingbat brother, who apparently forgot how the rest of the universe worked while he was in boot camp. We almost missed our flight...so I held a place for them in line.

Other than that, I fully support the ethics and rules as listed. And an addition: Dress for the security line. Leave the excess bangles at home. Everyone else is in a hurry, too.

In addition, start stripping down before you get to the front of security. You know you're going to have to: take out your laptop, take off your shoes, take off your coat, pull out your liquids...so do it before you are standing in front of the machine. Don't act surprised when you have to throw out your water bottle - the BIG ASS signs all over the place tell you so. Don't bury your laptop in your bag then act surprised that you have to pull it out, while trying to tell me you are a frequent flier (this big mouth lady in line in Italy did this...I was like, look, lady, if you are a FF you know this is the case, why do you keep putting your laptop in your suitcase, under your big ass pillow).

Once through security, please move your self and stuff down to the end of the stand and then proceed to re-robe. Pile up your grey bins, don't just leave 'em there, it just backs up traffic.

Don't push me when you are seating area 3 and I am seating area 1. I am not elitist, just a flier with more priority of when I get to get in my seat and claim my overhead bin. If you are a lower number (be it a 2, 3 or B, C or however other airlines choose to board), move the hell out of the way. Don't cluster in the front. Again, do not push me unless you want my elbow in your ribcage and my feet firmly pressed down upon your heels several times.

On the way out of the plane, do not hit me in the heels with your suitcase. If you cannot control your wheelie bag, pick the damn thing up. If it's too heavy, you should have checked it. Continuing to hit me in the heels, and looking at me with an "oops, I'm sorry" face will only result in me standing in place for longer than necessary. Don't test me.

Wow, I can see latent anger in some of our femal booties - will we soon have another such case of arrest at the airport?

I'm stoic at airports. Cue up to check in, then go have a few drinks. I always ignore the row calls while bording and get on with the last 20 people. Much more relaxing that way.

And Prisa, rules are there to be broken. Aren't they?

ooh don't even get me started on this topic. I so agree with your "ethics"

Last week I returned from a short trip in the Middle East and was standing in the passport control line. One lady wandered to the front of the line and seemed to just be looking around and a minimum of 6 people said/yelled to her "there's a line!" "you had to get in line" and finally she snapped "I KNOW!!" It was awesome after experiencing middle-east "queues" (or should I say, "whoever pushes to the front first wins") for the past few weeks.

We even saw this elderly looking guy walk right to the front of the line and even the guy behind him gave him some gruff. In that situation, I think line jumping is ok, HOWEVER the old guy erred in that he didn't even ask out of courtesy. I would be pissed too if someone, ANYone, walked right in front of me and didn't even say anything.

I wasn't going to post because I tried to chill out about this stuff in India.

But ... yeah...don't hit me with your bag. Once is okay if you notice and act like you're sorry, more than that and I might push back.

And how long does it take to put your stuff in the overhead bin or wherever you want to put it (or take it out)and then sit down (or leave) so other people can pass?

quote:

Don't push me when you are seating area 3 and I am seating area 1. I am not elitist, just a flier with more priority of when I get to get in my seat and claim my overhead bin. If you are a lower number (be it a 2, 3 or B, C or however other airlines choose to board), move the hell out of the way. Don't cluster in the front. Again, do not push me unless you want my elbow in your ribcage and my feet firmly pressed down upon your heels several times.

wow, I suppose you are one of the "fun" fellow travelers. Just as mush fun as babies with pterodactyl-like shrieks.

Throw out all the rules in Asia. It's just a free-for-all out there.

Wow, Annie. Once again you are my Hero.

Another one, don't wander off from the gate when they are board. I hated holding the plane calling for names of people who checked in then disappeared. Why do you think you are so important I should hold up 100 people for your stupid a$$.

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Originally posted by Violet156:
wow, I suppose you are one of the "fun" fellow travelers. Just as mush fun as babies with pterodactyl-like shrieks.

Huh? I don't get that.

Traveler Alice is being a good passenger, getting up to the gate to board as her section is called. Then Traveler Bob comes along even though Bob's section has a good twenty minutes to wait, hovers over the boarding gate, like a CBOT trader with pork rinds to sell, and is mucking up the flow and slowing everyone down, the entire bloody flight, just so Bob, the selfish git, can be the first in his section to board.

And you side with Bob?

Traveler Carol is being a good passenger, queuing along nicely, but Traveler Dick behind her pushes Carol out of some misguided sense of urgency. Damn right Carol can stick an elbow in his gut.

But your sympathies are with Dick?

I think you, my dear boot, need to review your queuing ethics. The shrieking babies are Bob and Dick. They are the widely felt disturbance, not Alice and Carol.

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wow, I suppose you are one of the "fun" fellow travelers. Just as mush fun as babies with pterodactyl-like shrieks.

I think this is supposed to be an insult, and if so, it worked.

I am a very nice traveler. I stand in the line, I don't push, I go when told. I fly a lot. The chances for me to get bugged by fliers who choose not to listen to instructions, or who are just plain rude, is exponentially greater than for those who only fly once in a while. I am also very quiet, so please don't compare me to a screaming baby (which, as Stoo says, are a disturbance, not an ethics violation).

And, word, Stoo.

quote:

Originally posted by Violet156:
wow, I suppose you are one of the "fun" fellow travelers. Just as mush fun as babies with pterodactyl-like shrieks.

Folks unintentionally bump heads all the time around here, AB and myself included, but try not to go out of your way to head butt fellow members. (Unless it's Jester. You can do anything you like to Jester.)

As for the Airport Queuing Ethics, I am (as always) with Prisa. Everyone knows the rules, basic social etiquette still applies when you're in an airport, and my pimp hand will enforce the social contract whenever necessary. Oh, and f*ck you, Travelers Bob & Dick. I'm a patriot.

quote:

wow, I suppose you are one of the "fun" fellow travelers. Just as mush fun as babies with pterodactyl-like shrieks.

Please remember to critique the idea, not the fellow member.

quote:

Originally posted by elAdi:
And Prisa, rules are there to be broken. Aren't they?

Sigh.
Fuck you, El Adi, I'm a patriot!