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Buzzwords

cherie

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Librarian Gone Wild
 
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Joined: December 3rd, 2004

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Tags: words vocabulary corporatespeak
  • Added on: January 15th, 2008
You might call it corporatespeak but it occurs in every workplace, from nonprofits to large companies. Those buzzwords that you can't get away from; perhaps you didn't even know what an M&A or private equity was before you started but now you can't go five minutes without uttering those words.

And in the end, you absolutely hate those words.

What are some words you hate to hear? At my job, there's "talent shortage," "talent management," "D&I," "best practices," "senior leader support," among others.

What are some words that you hear (and probably utter) way too often?
www.worldofcherie.blogspot.com

gettinglost

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Joined: March 29th, 2007
Location: Los Angeles

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  • Added on: January 15th, 2008
Not many buzz words (anymore- yay!). This is why I prefer small office environs.

Lots of legal speak: like.... what the heck is a "Duces Tecum?", Affidavit, Lis Pendens, Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (why don't they just call it "divorce?"), etc.
Lots of cursing: but, hey... ya'll already know all of those "buzz" words :P

Proir jobs at large corporations, where I co-habitated with other "associates" and "customer assistants" in a cube farm included a ton of buzz words. We had to take lots of "financial ethics" courses online. We had "Associate Meetings" in the "Team-Building Meeting Places". I tried to block out most, if not all of the jargon, and had precious little at the particular workplace I'm taking about...because my boss was a 60 something year old tough as nails, cynical, sarcastic, daughter of Northern Irish Immigrants. She hated the jargon. So, unless her superiors were directly involved, our "team" was often spared.
She was friggin cool. I miss that job. It was lame, but it was easy and they paid pretty well.

But, the worst...the worst of all is Military jargon. Holy crap. My hubby is in the military and everything is an acronym or jargonized military speak of some sort.
It's like it's own language Cool.
"It's not down in any map. True places never are."
-Herman Mellville, "Moby Dick"

Liforce

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Holds PhD in Packing
 
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  • Added on: January 16th, 2008
oh yeah, there are tons of these at my company

some of the worst offenders :

action items
deliverables
next steps
bandwidth
ping me
let's take this offline
value-add
mission critical
full plate
opportunity for growth
center of excellence
touch base
socialize

Derivatives of "challenge" are also popular in my office, as in, "he's a challenging resource," instead of "he's a lazy butt-head."

cherie

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  • Added on: January 16th, 2008
Touch base and deliverables--shudder! I hate those!!!!!
www.worldofcherie.blogspot.com

Llalewyn

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World Citizen
 
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  • Added on: January 17th, 2008
I work in Accounting and Real Estate. We have our own dictionary.

Here is a very popular one around here right now: our Knowledge Base.

You mean the people you haven't driven off yet?

Not the first Travis

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Location: Mah-Jongg, Mexico

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  • Added on: January 17th, 2008
I have a really good friend who works for Hewlett-Packard in BizDev - Gah! Paranoid Dance - i.e., Business Development. Sometimes when we're together yakking, I have to turn to him and say, "Please. Chad. For the love of God stop with the HPspeak."

girlgoesglobal

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Knows What a Schengen Visa Is
 
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  • Added on: January 21st, 2008
Using "PowerPoint" as a verb. As in: "ah, that's a good idea, let's be sure to PowerPoint that."
http://girlgoesglobal.com is back!

captain_andy

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  • Added on: January 21st, 2008
"touch base" makes me want to punch someone, but I don't want to waste energy I could use to improve my "core competencies" Give me a break.....

docKaos

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  • Added on: February 1st, 2008
Not so much a buzzword, but I'll think I'll scream if I hear one more person begin a sentence with the word "So". Seems to be extremely prevalent among the techies (of which I am a part).
Escape! From Cubicle 13
http://www.cube13.com

Skyehiker

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  • Added on: February 1st, 2008
I work in special education, and I truly feel sorry for the parents that try to understand all the funky lingo educational administrators throw around.

Every industry has it's own jargon, but it's been intriguing to see how corporate-speak has infiltrated so many different fields, and so much of our every day convo's. Here's a glossary for those lost in translation:

Corporate-Speak Glossary

The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page. ---St. Augustine

Vagabond Matt

Thorn Tree Refugee
 
Posts: 8
Joined: November 25th, 2007

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  • Added on: February 7th, 2008
Um, i use touchbase... it just comes out!! White Flag

But some of the bad ones at my office are:

piecemeal
"at the end of the day"
manage expectations
direction (as in we received no direction from the client)
reach out

skobb

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Extra Pages in Passport
 
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Location: Nassau, The Bahamas

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  • Added on: February 7th, 2008
I work for the State Department so that comes with a whole list of USG acronyms that I'll spare you. We actually have files defining the acronyms so you can look them up when you get some mysterious email you can't decipher.

Others that drive me crazy:

metrics
"just to piggyback on..."
loop in
soonest

Haci Richard

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Jackson's Dad
 
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Location: Jackson Heights, Queens

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  • Added on: February 11th, 2008
The one that really irritates me is "transition" used as a verb.
__________________________
"Suppose you're thinkin' about a plate o' shrimp. Suddenly someone'll say, like, plate, or shrimp, or plate o' shrimp out of the blue, no explanation. No point in lookin' for one, either."

AmazingJulesVerne

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Joined: September 23rd, 2005
Location: Tucson, Arizona

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  • Added on: February 11th, 2008
quote:
"touch base" makes me want to punch someone


Ohh -- that one *really* chaps my hide. I hate 'let's all get on to the same page.' Usually, I don't want to be in the same room as the person who says this, let alone the 'same page.'

Gah! Red Face

The other ones that drive me crazy are:

'Meds' -- Really, because medication is just so much longer to say. Even worse, the context in which it is said, 'Little Johnny didn't take his meds today, so he might be acting wonkier than usual. We had better hide all of the sharp pencils.'

'Issues' -- I hate the context of this word -- 'Sally is having some issues today.' Even cooler is when this is whispered in an especially dramatic voice, as though we are having a conversation in the middle of an episode of 'Melrose Place,' instead of my classroom.
___________________________________________________________________________
'It involved a squirrel, a dryer and a Scotsman doing the Haka in my kitchen.' - La Rosser.

Vagabond Matt

Thorn Tree Refugee
 
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Joined: November 25th, 2007

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  • Added on: February 12th, 2008
just heard...as of right now the dates are "moving targets"


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