"That's not practical" my boyfriend of 7 years laughed. I'd just told him my plan: work hard the next 9 months (at my god-awful desk job), save money, and kick off a 3-month RTW on my 30th birthday.
Practical? Does ANYONE hate that word more then me???
So, my plan has expanded. You are all in on my secret. If he hasn't proposed by my 30th Birthday, my RTW will no longer have a timeline. Instead, I'll sell everything in my 'practical' New York apartment, wish him luck without me for a while, and get outta Dodge.
How do we all survive, adventurers at heart and kept in cube-shaped cages?
Wow, that's quite the plan - Good luck with everything! Is there no way your bf would be interested in going with you? (well obviously since he thinks thats not practical)... but maybe if you keep playing with the idea he'll come around??? Brian, my bf, was very very very very apprehensive of the RTW thing. I've been talking about it for years and then finally he was like, ok we'll go for like 3 months... ok we'll go for like 6 months... OK, now we're looking at 2 years! He's just as excited as I am now. So maybe you just need to pitch it to him some more. And if all else fails, have a great time on your RTW!!!!
Thanks Brooke! My boyfriend loves to travel, too, although he's more a four-star hotel type. It's encouraging that your guy was transformed into a wanderer like you. Miracles do happen! I hope mine does, too, but if not he'll just have to do without me for a little while.
Ring me up when you're in NYC this summer...we can grab a drink.
The part I don't understand is why so much of the decision about your plans has to do with him and whether or not he proposes. If you want to take a year, take a year! Don't let a "practical" partner get in your way- you'll just resent him for it later. Also, it seems a little unfair that you have this deadline and alternate plan that he doesn't know about. If he doesn't know there is a "deadline" to propose by, and what the consequences will be if he waits, how can he make an informed decision? I think the best option is to be forthright. If you want to marry him, marry him, but why should you wait around to see if he proposes? Marriage is a commitment between two people, not one person waiting around to see if another makes a move.
Just my .02....
------------------------------------------ "He who jumps into the void owes no explanation to those who stand and watch." -Jean Luc Godard
Posts: 885 | Location: Jefferson, the 51st State | Registered: 04 March 2005
"Practical" is an entirely relative value. I find it very practicle that someone who has the travel bug is going to do everything possible to save and then go on an extended trip. It would be unpractical of such a person to fritter away their money and not save up for a sojourn.
Your revised plan sounds delightful. The villain in me would love a recording of the conversation wherein you tell Mr. Practical that he's on his own for an indeterminate amount of time.
Posts: 212 | Location: Portland, OR | Registered: 25 May 2006
Originally posted by Mahlerite: Your revised plan sounds delightful. The villain in me would love a recording of the conversation wherein you tell Mr. Practical that he's on his own for an indeterminate amount of time.
Something tells me that Mahlerite is a little evil Enjoying firing people... now this?! haha
I'm with you!! I HATE the word practical...how many times have I heard "You're going WHERE?!?!?!?! But that's not practical" and "Why did you buy that ticket when you're only going to have to move the dates, that not practical at all Helen"
Sometimes you just have to go with your gut, even though you know it's not "sensible" or "practical"...it's just got to be done!!
Posts: 694 | Location: London | Registered: 10 August 2005
Defintely a place you are in girlgoesgloboal, either settling down with Mr. Practical or jumping ship and exploring. Keep us updated on this, please. Again, having a solid life and a travelers life can sometimes seem mutually exclusive. I bet with good communication (and a bit of convincing repetition, like Brooke said) you can score a great balance.
So many people don't do things wild or wonderful because of it's impracticality. If you dont want to be that person, don't let it happen. My sister always says she would love to, but people would think that she "coundn't handle the pressure" of being a top corporate attorney and had to "bail." At least your BF is speaking his own mind and not worried about how people will view him. I think it sounds like he could be convinced with the right approach....
Originally posted by Keppieon't let a "practical" partner get in your way- you'll just resent him for it later.
Ditto. I think you need to start letting him know now, if you already haven't, that travel such as this comes with the package. After a long conversation, I'm sure he'll decide you're worth it. Who knows, maybe you can get that proposal and the travel both.
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Posts: 1999 | Location: Retired. | Registered: 30 June 2005
Hey now, let's not bash on the word practical. If someone is telling you traveling isn't practical, that's one thing. But if you aren't at least somewhat practical during your travels, you're going to end up dead in a gutter in some third-world country somewhere. You have to be practical about your budget, about where you should and should not go, and the like.
I have to respond b/c I'm in the same position! In fact, I emailed my boyfriend Jon the link to the post. He's probably at work reading it now (love you, sport!). I'm the dreamer and he's the practical one. In most situations, we balance each other out. But when it comes to my travel dream, he's admitted he'd love to travel the world, if (and it's a big if) he had a ton of money and time AND a job to come back to, because he couldn't bear the thought of leaving for months and not having a job when he returned. On the other hand, I couldn't care less about that because I figure I'll either make an arrangement with my current company or just work some retail job for a little bit until I get myself into another meteorology job. To me, the bigger fear is settling down and having kids and spending the next 25 years raising them, working to put them through college and continuing to pay off those debts before I ever get a change to do this again. At this point what have we got to lose? We live in an apartment, don't have any pets, and we're still young enough to hop right back into the job pool! So while I can see where he's coming from on the practicality side, at the same time I feel like it's totally worth it. As I try to explain to him, we've got the next 40+ years of our life to hold jobs, so if we have to put it on hold for a few months to see the world, a job will always be there. An apartment will always be there. Plenty of people have traveled the world and how many have regretted it? Probably none. Whereas even more people HAVEN'T followed their dream to travel and how many of THEM regret it? Probably all of them. I don't want to be in that second group. And I don't plan to be, either.
Posts: 4 | Location: Boston | Registered: 01 May 2008
Enjoying firing people... now this?! haha
Who knows, maybe you can get that proposal and the travel both.
on't let a "practical" partner get in your way- you'll just resent him for it later. 
