BootsnAll Travel Community

I recently went on a trip to Guat, Mex, and Cuba, for about a month...while my hubs was off doing military things. I knew well before my trip that traveling was something I was meant to do. I have always felt and expressed a desire to travel the world, and I'm a bit off the wall and unconventional. That's just the way I am...and It's certainly no secret.

I'm currently in school- and buckling down, so I can get my first degree out of the way (Anthropology). I have a short two week stint in Sydney to visit a friend, coming up in May...but, I know other than that- I won't be doing any serious traveling til 2010.

My husband is in the military, and has told me many times he would do a round the world trip with me well before he ever joined (we have been together for almost 6 years- and met when I was almost 16). He knows me very well, and I thought he understood traveling was something I HAD to do.

Turns out, he thought (at least until my recent trip), that it was some lofty dream that I just talked about a lot...and is acting rather unwilling to take a year off after his enlistment is over to do some wandering. (A lot of the problem, I think is coming from his parents, which I will mention below...)

It took a lot of discussion to explain to him that there was no choice in the matter for me- and that I didn't want to be bitter (he doesn't want it either). So, I think now he finally understands.

He has 5 more years in the military, until we have the opportunity to do anything over a month together (I plan on traveling/studying abroad during his deployments, so that's six or more months every 18 months.) But, I'm concerned that when the time comes, he's going to flake on me... that he's not going to go for it. He is so obsessed with having control over his every situation and knowing exactly what's going on all the time (I blame his dad)...that I think he might freak out in a RTW setting. I mean...I'm having an extremely difficult time convincing him to NOT spend our 30 days of vacation at his parent's house...*sigh*.

He's not too keen on me taking trips during his deployment either...and for some reason thinks I should stay home?? (Completely ridiculous, as far as I'm concerned).

What's worse is his parents have been driving me up the wall with claims that my travels are "irresponsible" (I got an earful after telling my MIL I was going to Sydney in May) and "unrealistic". Their family is reeeallly conservative and Latin. His mom would never go away traveling without her husband. I am much more independent than that, and despite the fact that I don't want to be away from my husband...I have to anyway. So, why not spend it traveling?

I really wish they would put a sock in it, and he would stop being so "cautious" and cut the umbilical cord. I know some of it is money- but, honestly? I'm happy with a late model car...and I don't need the 52" tv. We're only in our (very) early twenties...and they're already riding our asses to settle down and have kids...which I WILL NOT be doing until at least my thirties... What do I do?!?!

I don't even know that you're all that unconventional. This sounds like some pretty common complaints:
- husband has different priorities, doesn't quite get why your priorities are important to you.
- in-laws are a pain in the ass.

Doesn't this describe the problems of virtually every relationship?

Best of luck sorting it out, but don't give up what makes you happy.