BootsnAll Travel Community

You might call it corporatespeak but it occurs in every workplace, from nonprofits to large companies. Those buzzwords that you can't get away from; perhaps you didn't even know what an M&A or private equity was before you started but now you can't go five minutes without uttering those words.

And in the end, you absolutely hate those words.

What are some words you hate to hear? At my job, there's "talent shortage," "talent management," "D&I," "best practices," "senior leader support," among others.

What are some words that you hear (and probably utter) way too often?

Not many buzz words (anymore- yay!). This is why I prefer small office environs.

Lots of legal speak: like.... what the heck is a "Duces Tecum?", Affidavit, Lis Pendens, Petition for Dissolution of Marriage (why don't they just call it "divorce?"), etc.
Lots of cursing: but, hey... ya'll already know all of those "buzz" words :P

Proir jobs at large corporations, where I co-habitated with other "associates" and "customer assistants" in a cube farm included a ton of buzz words. We had to take lots of "financial ethics" courses online. We had "Associate Meetings" in the "Team-Building Meeting Places". I tried to block out most, if not all of the jargon, and had precious little at the particular workplace I'm taking about...because my boss was a 60 something year old tough as nails, cynical, sarcastic, daughter of Northern Irish Immigrants. She hated the jargon. So, unless her superiors were directly involved, our "team" was often spared.
She was friggin cool. I miss that job. It was lame, but it was easy and they paid pretty well.

But, the worst...the worst of all is Military jargon. Holy crap. My hubby is in the military and everything is an acronym or jargonized military speak of some sort.
It's like it's own language .

oh yeah, there are tons of these at my company

some of the worst offenders :

action items
deliverables
next steps
bandwidth
ping me
let's take this offline
value-add
mission critical
full plate
opportunity for growth
center of excellence
touch base
socialize

Derivatives of "challenge" are also popular in my office, as in, "he's a challenging resource," instead of "he's a lazy butt-head."

Touch base and deliverables--shudder! I hate those!!!!!

I work in Accounting and Real Estate. We have our own dictionary.

Here is a very popular one around here right now: our Knowledge Base.

You mean the people you haven't driven off yet?

I have a really good friend who works for Hewlett-Packard in BizDev - Gah! - i.e., Business Development. Sometimes when we're together yakking, I have to turn to him and say, "Please. Chad. For the love of God stop with the HPspeak."

Using "PowerPoint" as a verb. As in: "ah, that's a good idea, let's be sure to PowerPoint that."

"touch base" makes me want to punch someone, but I don't want to waste energy I could use to improve my "core competencies" Give me a break.....

Not so much a buzzword, but I'll think I'll scream if I hear one more person begin a sentence with the word "So". Seems to be extremely prevalent among the techies (of which I am a part).

I work in special education, and I truly feel sorry for the parents that try to understand all the funky lingo educational administrators throw around.

Every industry has it's own jargon, but it's been intriguing to see how corporate-speak has infiltrated so many different fields, and so much of our every day convo's. Here's a glossary for those lost in translation:

Corporate-Speak Glossary

Um, i use touchbase... it just comes out!!

But some of the bad ones at my office are:

piecemeal
"at the end of the day"
manage expectations
direction (as in we received no direction from the client)
reach out

I work for the State Department so that comes with a whole list of USG acronyms that I'll spare you. We actually have files defining the acronyms so you can look them up when you get some mysterious email you can't decipher.

Others that drive me crazy:

metrics
"just to piggyback on..."
loop in
soonest

The one that really irritates me is "transition" used as a verb.

quote:

"touch base" makes me want to punch someone

Ohh -- that one *really* chaps my hide. I hate 'let's all get on to the same page.' Usually, I don't want to be in the same room as the person who says this, let alone the 'same page.'

Gah!

The other ones that drive me crazy are:

'Meds' -- Really, because medication is just so much longer to say. Even worse, the context in which it is said, 'Little Johnny didn't take his meds today, so he might be acting wonkier than usual. We had better hide all of the sharp pencils.'

'Issues' -- I hate the context of this word -- 'Sally is having some issues today.' Even cooler is when this is whispered in an especially dramatic voice, as though we are having a conversation in the middle of an episode of 'Melrose Place,' instead of my classroom.

just heard...as of right now the dates are "moving targets"

ack, this thread is making me cringe!

I think the most irritating buzzword is "synergies." It's always used when talking about mergers and acquisitions...it's extra pissed me off today because I got a letter from the local Hostelling International chapter that used it...they're trying to sell the membership on a merger with the Vancouver based chapter, and I've yet to hear a coherent argument on why this is a good thing.

All they seem to be able to do is point to corporate style buzzwords.

I teach. Here are my most (least) favorites:

teaching to the test
rigor and relevance
building relationships in the classroom
life skills (these include such skills as keeping your ass out of jail, how not to join a gang, and developing self-esteem)
No Child Left Behind
consistency
discipline management framework
bla
bla
bla

Whatever. It's all political crap. I choose not to listen or follow many of the rules. One of the many things I like about my particular school.

Innovation, out of the box, pushing the envelope, disruptive technology, zzzzzz.....

and I LOVE this IBM commercial:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ziOG_GHNVq0

Wow! This thread is making me nauseous.

The only thing worse than synergies is when someone wants to leverage them.

Go-to is almost as repulsive.