BootsnAll Travel Community

Hi All! This is my first post to boots-n-all, and I'm hoping folks in this great community can help me with my situation. I’m a single guy, almost 36 y/o. I’ve been working for almost 14 years and for the last 10, I have thought on and off about taking time off from working to travel. I’m currently working as an IT Manager in the Financial Industry in New York City. I am burnt out and unhappy in my job, and have thought about changing careers, possibly pursuing a different job in the same industry, or maybe going back to school or leaving Finance completely. I rent my apartment, and have a lease coming due at the end of May.

Eventually I would like to have a career I love, maybe buy an apartment, fall in love, get married, etc…do all the things that friends and family members around me are doing at this point in their lives. I could start implementing some positive changes toward those goals tomorrow, but I’ve been stalling. The main reason is that I see an opportunity to do some traveling before I “settle down” to adult life (ironic given that I’m 36). I have saved up a pretty good sum of money. I have a serious career going right now, but as I said, I’m burnt out and looking to leave it. Once I start pursuing a new one in earnest, it will be much more difficult to take time out to travel. If I meet someone and get married, it would be cool to travel with my wife, but who knows if that will be possible given her career or other situations.

So, after my lease is up would be a good time to stop working and travel. I have a lot of fears and anxieties about it, and I want to reach out to y’all and share some of the issues that are going through my head.

1- After all this pontificating about traveling over the past 10 years, I don’t even know how much time I would want to be out there. I have never traveled more than 2 ½ weeks at a time, although I’ve been to a lot of places. I have been thinking of doing maybe 3 months. Is that too short given the enormity of what I’m giving up to do it? Also, do I have enough time to plan a long trip if I leave at the end of May?
2- Maybe I should just forget the whole long-term traveling thing and just get on with my life. After all this thinking about it over the years, I’m not even sure if this would make me happy or if I’d just feel anxious about the next phase of my life. Don’t get me wrong…the best moments of my life have pretty much been traveling. But I do get 4 weeks of vacation a year and I have always used a lot of vacation time to travel and enjoy my time off.
3- If I do travel, do I quit my job outright or try for a Leave of Absence? The LOA would make the timeline for returning more set. If it is approved, I doubt they would allow me more than 3 months time off (just a feeling). If I quit, I have the freedom of staying longer if I find it’s not long enough. Knowing my personality, once I started traveling, I probably would feel the itch to extend.

Sorry this is so long, and thanks so much for reading through it! This is driving me mad, and I really need some good advice. The end of my lease is coming soon (May 31st) and I feel like I have to do something by then…either take off or maybe buy a place and get on with it.

I feel that my life is on hold while I wait to make this decision, and I would appreciate ANY advice you have to offer!

Given that you're burnt out and looking to leave your job anyway, I don't see that you're giving up a lot to go travel right now, so whether you're going for 2 months or 2 years, I wouldn't be worried about how much you're giving up.

On the leave of absense end...again, since you're burnt out and thinking about switching careers, I think you'll probably be best off to just make a clean break quit outright. I'm not sure what the job market is like in New York right now, but the only reason I could see trying to arrange a LoA is if there's a real possibility - more than just an outside, what if everything that possibly could go wrong does, remote chance - that you might have to flip burgers to make ends meet when you return.

As for length of trip, if at all possible, I'd try to arrange things so that you don't have to commit to a fixed return date in advance. That way, there's no wrong answer, you just head home when you're ready to. Having never gone for more than a couple weeks, you might find that you hate it, but, more likely, I think, if you already planned only three months, you'll find that you desperately don't want to go home yet.

As for planning time, this depends on you. If you're someone who needs to lay out your whole trip in advance, then no, it's probably not enough time. But the joy about being away longer term is that less planning is needed, you can take the extra time necessary as you go. Since you already have the money saved, all you have to arrange is a place to store all your stuff (or a way to get rid of it all) and then decide where you want to go first and buy a ticket. It doesn't have to be complicated

And lastly, whenever these sorts of questions get posted, it's always worth pointing out that the fact that you chose Bootsnall to ask means that you already know the answer, and you just need encouragement.

Hey there Icculus! welcome to the show...well i have to admit i can relate to your predicament in many ways...Its tough here in NYC...but if you have the opportunity, take it by the hair and ask it to beg for mercy! although i am burnt in my job..(i am a teacher), i don't want to change careers, just do it someplace else...i dont know if any of this will make a difference, but the time i spend on this site has inspired me to just go for it, despite the many fears i have..so plan, plan and plan some more...I too have some difficulties deciding whether or not i want to settle into an "Adult"life (32 and single...) but who cares what everyone else thinks? how happy are "they" anyway???

You've been thinking about this for 10 years? And unhappy/unsatisfied in your job for 10 years?

You need to go. You need to go now. Once your lease is up, quit your job and get moving. You'll be able to find another when you go back, so don't overthink it too much. "The enormity of what you're about to do"...don't worry so much. Again, you have 14 years of experience, taking 3 months or 1 year may make employers scratch their head, but you'll still find another job.

I am in serious awe that you have been thinking about this for 10 years, mainly because I always thought I overthink things! If you read any of my other posts, you will see this is not something I generally advocate without serious thought, but it lookings like you are beyond that.

Just go. If you find after a day/week/month you are stressing, you can always go back home. If you find yourself loving it, you can keep going. But, I think all you know the answer and what you need is some support. And you'll get that here. And fully from me. Go.

I quit a career after 10 years and took a year off, then got right back into it afterwards, no big problem. and mine is a career where time off is very detrimental. you, however, will be absolutely fine.

of course I can't guarantee this would be the right decision for you, but based on your post and decisions myself and others have made, I say go. especially given that you have decent savings, there is absolutely nothing stopping you. make a loose plan, then go.

this subject has been talked about a lot on the boards, try the search function, too, to dig up similar posts from the past.

keep us posted!

Like others said, I think you already know what you want/need to do for your own personal journey; after all, you came to Boots

W/10yrs+ exp, you really don't have as much to worry about as you think you do.

Personally, I took the LOA route and spent ~9wks traveling in the early fall after hitting my 5yr mark w/my company. It was the healthiest thing I could've done for myself, hands-down. When I got my LOA approved (which I thought was a longshot), I rather anticipated that I'd feel constricted while "out and about", but found the opposite to be true; I really appreciated the fact that I didn't have to return to an uncertain job situation.

That said, I would NOT advise a LOA if you feel that you won't be able to stick around w/your employer long enough afterward to make it worth their while - but that's just me. My logic is that you don't want to burn long-term professional relationships by making them bitter about your LOA... (IMO, at least stick around 6mo afterward.)

Wow. You are basically going thru the same exact thing i am. I just posted a similar entry on another portion of this website looking to see if anyone else would be interested in traveling. I live in Manhattan, have great job, etc, etc, etc but feel the urge to just get up and go away for a few months, especially since i have no ties right now.

I guess then that we are not as alone in these matters as we thought eh?

I say do it! I'm a 32-year old attorney and on the verge of quitting my job of 7 years to hit the road for a year. I haven't notified work yet - I plan to stick around til mid-May, so I plan to give about 2 mos notice (so very soon). Sometimes I think I must be crazy to do this, but at the same time, I feel like I NEED to do this. I wasn't smart enough to travel during the 8+ years of school and found myself taking 2 and 3 week vacations overseas after I graduated (& jealous of all those RTWers on long adventures!). That's just amplified my wanderlust. Yes, I'm worried about whether I'll be able to come back to my job and what I'll do when I get home. Our firm is really small and a nonprofit, so coming back might not be an option, but at the same time, I think it just means I need to move onto a new opportunity. I've been at the same firm since graduating law school. I also see the question differently: not travel OR get on with my life - for me, I'm traveling TO get on with my life. I feel completely trapped in an endless cycle of work, enjoy the little time I have off, etc. I see this trip as a way to jump start my life a little through an injection of energy, opportunity, experience, intrigue...who knows what all this trip will bring to my life. And life is just too short...

icculus -

I think its unanimous - GO!!! You should go, really really really should go. You've been wondering too long about it and time is passing - you live once, just go. At least then you'll know you tried and the wondering can end. AND if you are unhappy with where you are now you're not giving up too much.

Maybe you could get a leave of absence and if on the road decide to extend just quit? I mean a leave of absence would be good if you really want to return to the same life you had before, but honestly... you sound like you need a change. This could be your clean break to start new. Just make sure you have a come-home fund and in your field you will probably be able to find another great job after the trip.

AND... wouldn't traveling really be getting on with your life? (i mean, experiencing something new, being excited, growing as a person: all come with traveling and all are a part of what makes life interesting)

GOOD LUCK!!!

Hey! I also work in the financial district of NYC--but love my job as a nonprofit librarian.

I say, Go. Most landlords will let you extend your lease on a month to month basis, so if you need more time to arrange things, that shouldn't be a problem. And, this is NYC--you can always find a sublet! Or you can sublet your apt--just be careful with this. I did that when I was away and my landlorkd knew I had a catsitter.

Settling down...yes, appealing. I think traveling has expanded my mind and my life and I feel settled down when I travel. But I know what you mean. Go for it. Now. Maybe you'll meet the person of your dreams, fall in love, get married, have kids...and settle down while traveling!

Good luck!

Hey all - I'm so glad I found you all! I put so much of a weight on the decision to do this, and you all make it seem so simple. But a wise person once told me that simple and easy are not the same thing. I think it's clear that this isn't so easy for me. A few of you said that traveling would be getting on with my life, and I'm beginning to agree. It would be breaking with the old and having a cleanish slate when I return. It's not easy for me to burst out of my comfort zone, but I think that's one of the reasons I should go for it. I'm kind of nervous, but leaning toward the other side of the fence now...toward traveling!

Thank you all! I will keep you all updated! I'm really grateful for all of your encouragement!

"eventually" never comes. We are in an endless "today." so if you are not happy with today you are kind of f*****. ya know? plus, the chicks and guys on the road are generally way more interesting, hotter, etc. than most people you meet in day-to-day life. They are people who took a risk to explore. It's not like one can make a decision to be "adult." I think an adult is someone who does what s/he wants to do when s/he wants to do it. Who knows? you may find a partner (a lot of people do), a job you love, etc. on the road... buy rolf pott's vagabonding... (book)
vc

I'd say go for it as well but just wanted to address the planning thing... I'm not sure how over 2 months isn't enough time to plan. You could sit down in a week and hammer out every place you want to see if you put your mind to it. Then it's just a trip to a travel agent for some plane tickets and there ya go! But the best travel adventures tend to happen when plans change so whatever you decide on initially, make sure you don't get tied down to too many things. So if you're going on a 10 month RTW, don't plan to do a tour somewhere in month 5 because who knows where you'll end up.

I seem to do what you're contemplating about every 2.5 years or so. I'm hooked on travelling but more than that I love the freedom of quitting a job and just taking off with the only time limit being when your bank account empties. This is a pretty cliche but if you've been thinking about this for 10 years and don't do it, you really will always wonder 'what if'.

GO!!! Don't look back just go. No reason needed other than you are doing it for you.