BootsnAll Travel Community

My job always has this thing about how they want you to bring your whole self to work--so you should wear braids in your hair or whatever--just be your real self (especially in terms of racial/ethnic identity).

I got my peer review from a coworker back saying this:
"Although I do not agree with this point, some people in the organization believe that [my] manner of dress is sometimes unprofessional." He doesn't work at my job any more (he wrote this before he left to get his MBA), and I know this isn't his POV, but he is just passing along gossip.

So I'm pissed. First off, people are talking about what I wear to work?!?! Don't they have anything better to do, like, work?!? Second off, I dress professionally 98% of the time. Occasionally, and this will be on a "casual" Friday or on a day where I have no meetings, I'll dress like my funky self--maybe wear some maroon tights or a bright top or something--nothing outrageous (especially by my standards). I don't wear suits on a regular basis because I am a librarian who works at a nonprofit--I don't see a need.

People, I'm a librarian! I don't deal with the public, just people at my job (and people over email and the phone). If I have a meeting or have a conference, I wear a suit or something very professional. All of my reviews talked about what excellent research I do. My boss doesn't care about how I dress (she's VERY casual) and we didn't speak of this in my review, but talked about how good my work was and growth edges. I'm just annoyed. I hate working for a gossipy job where each and every thing you do is commented up. I stay out of the gossiping, but apparently, I'm part of the gossip. UGH!

Thoughts? Similar experiences?

gossip is everywhere. Don't get too pissed, just be cognizant of it and move on.

People just always need something to talk about. It was a little uncouth of this guy to mention it, whether he agrees or not is not the point. Just know that he's as bad as the rest and, if it continues to bother you, talk to your boss about it to address the issue.

I hung out with a broker after hours. Why? He invited me to a show and I knew other people that'd be there so I went. We drank, laughed, made fun of coworkers. Apparently someone overheard him saying "I'm glad you came out, I'm also glad you didnt feel weird. Some coworkers I invite out feel weird at rock clubs"....and now....everyone thinks this fella and I are an item.
We're so not.
His girlfriend drove me home.
But ya know what? Let em talk. If it gives them something to do then whateva. Basically people are going to go after you with whatever they have if they really want to. Dont take it personally. Wear the maroon tights proudly. Once it becomes your game, it becomes fun.

quote:

Don't they have anything better to do, like, work?!?

In my experience -- no matter where I have worked and what the topic -- the answer has been no. A shitty little fact of life, I suppose.

I ran into this recently too. A temp job I was working at gave my agency the feedback that "we love her, but she doesn't quite dress professionally enough...." Well, first of all that's B.S. since I took my cue from the people who were already there about what to wear and dressed pretty much like they did. No, I don't do that 'never repeat an outfit more than once every 2 weeks' thing because I'm not that much of a clotheshorse, but I look nice and presentable.

They eventually offered me a full time permanent job. When they offered it, my manager said, "Now this isn't a dealbreaker or anything, but the hair issue...."

My hair is shoulder-length, red, and curly. It is not an outrageous colour or style. It's just hair. Also, I work in a back office. Nobody even SEES me most of the time.

I was terribly self-conscious for a good week after this, because like you, I was all, 'these people have nothing better to do than complain about my hair?' Then I realised--I don't care. You know? I'll show up and do a good job, and if my hair and wardrobe end up being dealbreakers, it's not a place I need to work anyway.

I'm a guy, but I see and hear about this too frequently.

They hired a really attractive girl once. And going to the elevators once, I overheard a troll boss saying how she needs "to talk to her". From that day forward, part of her identity was gone. She didn't even dress risque compared to the other departments. This was in a cube farm btw. We should've been able to come in pajamas as far as I'm concerned. No one sees any of us, not even co-workers.

Once I had a goatee. Lots of years ago in college. I took a job, one of my "many" apparently, in the dining hall. One of the clueless dudes came up to me and goes whats going on. "you know you aren't supposed to" come in not cleanshaven or something. I love the "you know you're" line when no one tells me anything or doesn't train me. The goatee was there when I filled out my application.
But that wasn't the bad part at all, fine it was gone. Until I quit.
what was absurd was that EVERYONE heard about it. Like it was some super gossip thing.

Come on!

I bet I can come up with more if I kept thinking about it.

No, they don't have anything better. Since people will chat about any nonsense, I figure you may as well use that grapevine to your advantage.

I once had a chat to a blind guy (since birth) and he told me that most people miss the point of life and never get to know anyone because they are 'blinded' by what they see. He even said he was often glad he was born blind.