BootsnAll Travel Community

My first trip abroad change my path in life a bit. My first solo trip - 3 months around Oz/Nz changed everything about my life forever. It changed my outlook on the world, on other people. It made me aware of my weaknesses (and of course my strengths, but not as important) so I could better adapt to them and keep them from interfering with my life. It taught me that sometimes it's ok to let my Capricorn Type A self take over, but most of the time, it's just not necessary. Itineraries, like rules, are meant to be broken.

On the other board someone told me to look to travel quotes when trying to name my website. Here is the best one I found (though my site ended up being whereistracy.com anyway, lol):

"What you've done becomes the judge of what you're going to do -- especially in other people's minds. When you're travelling, you are what you are right there and then. People don't have your past to hold against you. No yesterdays on the road." -William Least Heat Moon, Blue Highways

That is the primary reason why I love to travel, but it's also a good lesson, I think. It reminds me not to hold the past against people I see day to day, and it reminds me not to hold my past against myself.

Just got back from a trip around Europe. Was by myself for 5 days in Switzerland. I was a bit apprehensive and so was my older sister who was really anxious for me which in turn made me anxious. The anxiety and apprehension wore off after a couple days and I really enjoyed those few days by myself.
To start things off, the airport misplaced my pack and I didn't get it until noon the next day. Good thing I had my hostel info in my purse.
It made me realize how capable I was of handling these situations. I surprised myself by being able to think positively and thought of the whole thing as an adventure instead of a calamity.
Being alone also made me more open to people and things. I met more wonderful people when I was alone than when I was with my friend. With my friends around I didn't see the need to go out and get to know people or just start a conversation.
It also made me see how much more in the world I need to see, do, and experience. That there really is more to life than just bills, work, eat, and sleep.
Now I am constantly traveling, even if it's just around the city. I'm broke, but happy. It's worth the trade-off.

Ok, since I started this topic prior to my very first solo trip, and have since been on one, I should probably add my thoughts!

My first solo trip was quite recent. Three weeks, from April 20-May 10. The reason I purchased the ticket back in January was because I knew that I couldn't wait around for a friend or family member to take a trip with me...because then it might never happen. So I just took the plunge, bought the ticket, and for three months wasn't too flustered about the trip. I didn't really get nervous about it until the day or two before I left, and even then it was only brief 'panic' moments that quickly went away. The thing is, is I knew deep down that everything would be ok, and that I would do just fine. So I was confident that I would be quite capable in travelling by myself, and wasn't really scared or anything. The only thing I wasn't sure about was how I would handle being by myself for so long, and the fact that I knew I would get lonely.

When I first got to Athens, I have to admit I was so jetlagged and cranky, and I thought Athens was a horrible place (just my mood...), and I thought I was a total idiot for thinking travelling solo for 3 weeks was a feasible thing. I didn't have faith I could do it. And I still felt a little bit that way the following day..just thinking the whole trip was going to suck. ;-) But thankfully it improved, and I got into the groove of traveling solo. Only had one other day midway in the trip, where I was just worn out, and homesick, but I pulled out of it and the rest of the trip was fantastic.

It's funny, but I think I would have spazzed out a lot more, or become impatient, or relied on the other person to figure things out, had I been travelling with someone else. I'm not sure why, I suppose it's laziness, or just not wanting to be the leader. So it was interesting to me when I was by myself that absolutely nothing got to me - I wasn't freaking out about the ferry tickets, I was totally just able to go with the flow over there, and I didn't worry about anything. Ok...that's a tiny lie...I got a little anxious upon arrival on 4 of the 5 islands, because I didn't know where I was going to stay, and I also *really disliked* all of the greeks accosting me once I got off the ferries, trying to convince me to stay at their pensions. It was only really annoying on one of the islands I guess, but that annoying experience made me dread each of the successive arrivals!! ;-) But I digress.

Overall, the thing that fascinated me about traveling alone was just that I totally mellowed out. Here at home I guess I'm surrounded by impatient people, and it's just so fast-paced, and my mother is a bit highstrung..you get the picture..I just think I was able to RELAX and be in my element while I was over there. No one stressing me out, no need to keep to schedules.

And as tends to happen when I'm on vacation, or somewhere totally new, I just had the overall nirvana feeling of total peace..just the feeling that all of the little crap that we need to pay attention to at home (bills, job, doctor appointments, career, etc etc), in order to have our needs met, well...they're all so silly. ;-) I mean, I just got a sense of life over there, and was happy to be alive, but at the same time was ready to come home by the end of the trip, because I think I realized while I was over there that one of the most important things to me is to develop relationships, and just to value my family, and friends, and maybe have a family of my own, and just live my life. You know, it's the little things that matter, and I decided when I was travelling that we are all more similar than different.

I'm not sure I answered my own question!! Like others have said, I think traveling solo just builds confidence, makes one aware of strengths/weaknesses, and sometimes helps give focus to priorities, and desires.

Lynn

P.S. I have to add one more thing. The hands-down biggest benefit of traveling solo is that you can do what you want, when you want to do it. It's rather empowering. Definitely the favorite moments from my trip were exploring the towns, and taking long-ass hikes across the countryside, exhausting myself to the point of my calve muscles starting to protest. There is absolutely no way my family would have gone on those long walks, and maybe one or two of my friends would have, although the whole time I would have felt responsible for their happiness, and wondering if they were hating the walk the entire time. SO---> My point being that I had no one holding me back, and I could wear myself out if I wanted to.

thanx for the update. interesting to see if the urge comes back later.

Oh, no doubt the travel urge will always be present; I've probably only been temporarily satiated. ;-)

Next year, though, assuming I'm not back at school, I may do a trip with a friend of mine; assuming she doesn't chicken out. She has declared she wants a 'girl trip,' and her husband will have to sit the trip out, and she justifies it since he goes on weekend trips w/ his buddies, or on work trips. Lots of variables, there, who knows if it'll happen.

But otherwise, I can see myself travelling solo again..but I really think I'd prefer a shorter jaunt, of maybe 10 days. But that's just me.

Something I kinda knew before the trip, but it was affirmed on the trip, is that I'm a bit odd in that I would meet more people if I were travelling with friends, whereas by myself I tend to prefer solitude. I know it's weird, and opposite almost everyone else who has posted...but for me, I need an external push or kick in the ass from a friend or companion, and then I can be quite sociable. Just by myself, I tend to just observe.

The whole experience of my RTW taught me to realise that there's no boundaries other than those I impose upon myself. I did shit I couldnt have dreamed of and met people that in my small minded pre-travel comfy London mindset I wouldnt have ever spoken with let alone socailised with.

I learnt that for the most part, every human being is identical and at times really got the feeling that - and I quote - "(we're) a virus with shoes".

But most of all I realised that its the smallest act that can mean the world. A pack of blue Winfields given to me by the biggest bastard imaginable and devout anti-smoker on a small ship in the middle of the Pacific when I was 3 days out of port and out of fags was a godsend. Not to mention the fact that the guy who gave them too me hated just about everyone on board and I got a brief glimpse into his life - sat in his cabin talking shit by a single desk lamp through the night....

A quiet reflective drink with a new friend on a birthday..

80 games of Shithead a day..

Catching your first metre long Mahi Mahi (with a bit of help)

A horrific sore-wridden hooker wanting a bite of your hotdog...

Sunsets in the centre of the Pacific after a tropical storm...

Its the sort of shit that stays with you man and always worth the fear. Somedays I think I did my lifetime's worth of "Do one thing a day that scares you"...

Dan - as a side note: Mr Tuttle, your Dubya avatar gives the finger on the exact beat of "I wish I was a little bit taller...". Gave me a random chuckle while writing this..

well, its been almost a month in my solo trip, but I've been basically living here in Seville, doing my routine of going to guitar class and now, rowing class.

I was lucky that my flatmate was also American and was taking Spanish classes, so I've met a handful of students through her (my guitar class is individual, so social contact with the rest of the school is a bit limited). This social outlet has allowed me to enjoy Spain much better, without a doutb - from going to the beach with a bunch of people to simply hanging out till the wee hours of the morning (and the Spanish do love to do that) having beer and shooting the breeze.

Had I been alone through out this whole month I'd gone crazy - I have enough time on my own as it is, but thanks to my laptop and a bunch of movies I had downloaded time slips by. I ought to read more too!

I'm totally loving it and look forward to making somewhere here in Europe my new home - but I also understand that relationships with people are what drives me to make a place enjoyable besides the usual tourist trappings. I'd rather enjoy knowing where the supermarket is than checking out the cathedral.

It made me a lot more more open-minded, independent, world-wise, appreciative and receptive.

And importantly, made me realise how pathetic, small-minded and racist Britain is as a nation. Each trip thereafter made me despise my home nation that little bit more and our vulgar national culture: drinking heavily, watching reality TV, tanning salons, football hooliganism and 'adults' playing playstations and X boxes.

Yours bitter but smiling,
Jamie

I'd back that up JGB.

I just completed my first solo trip (5 weeks in the UK). Probably the biggest thing it did for me was give me confidence that I can do just about anything that I really want to do. One year ago I never would have imagined myself doing something like this as it is so out of character for me and didn't even seem possible. I've never been particularly brave or adventurous and have always sided with practicality. Besides being on my own, doing the trip the way I wanted to also involved quitting my job-definitely not in keeping with my practicality. But I'm so glad that I've done it. I feel empowered by what I've accomplished. And i'll never have to wonder 'what if'. It also helped me to realize that travel is not the be all and end all. I still want to do A LOT of traveling in my life, but i think that i can be more content now when i'm not traveling. Being on the road made me appreciate the little things in every day life that i often take for granted. I was only lonely for the first couple days and never again after that which really surprised me. But being alone made me really appreciate the value of friends and family. Lastly, it's definitely satiated me in a good way. I don't feel the same urgency to travel that I used to. I still want to do it, but now i can relax about it and not feel like if i don't do it all now it'll never happen.

Sue

quote:

Originally posted by sue31979:
Lastly, it's definitely satiated me in a good way. I don't feel the same urgency to travel that I used to. I still want to do it, but now i can relax about it and not feel like if i don't do it all now it'll never happen.

This is perfectly written -- I actually feel the same way, and it's comforting.

I was wondering how your trip went...sounds like it was a good one!

quote:

Originally posted by sue31979:
And i'll never have to wonder 'what if'. It also helped me to realize that travel is not the be all and end all. I still want to do A LOT of traveling in my life, but i think that i can be more content now when i'm not traveling.

I think that's more of a temporary thing. When I get back, I'm happy, I enjoy being at home, but the longer I'm here, the more antsy I am to get up and move again. I'm going a bit crazy now, but have just recently paid off my debts from last year, so it's going to be a while yet.

9.5 months to be exact. (well, about that, exact departure date may vary by as much as a month or so, but that's the hoped for date.)

quote:

Originally posted by JGB:
It made me a lot more more open-minded, independent, world-wise, appreciative and receptive.

And importantly, made me realise how pathetic, small-minded and racist Britain is as a nation. Each trip thereafter made me despise my home nation that little bit more and our vulgar national culture: drinking heavily, watching reality TV, tanning salons, football hooliganism and 'adults' playing playstations and X boxes.

Yours bitter but smiling,
Jamie

I dont see the harm in an adult enjoying a quite game on the Playstation. Something which I enjoy reguqrly. (Although some people may suggest I am only recently an adult (20).

And while i don't enjoy reality tv, nor tanning salons, I can not see how they infringe on you personally.

You suggest that travel has made you:

"more open-minded, independent, world-wise, appreciative and receptive."

Does this however only apply to other countries,

or does your "open mindedness" not extend to our "Vulgar, national culture".

I start my solo trip of six months this coming June.....

I am scared, but it has to be done.....I KNOW it will change me as a person.....

Reading the posts here have given me a glimpse of what its like....

Many thanks

Jim,

Be honest - its a shithole

Dan.

I think that traveling alone really pulls away the layers. When you're alone, lost and frustrated you find what you're made of. I personally like the feeling of living on your wits and seeing what you can do. I moved to Vietnam for 3yrs and the first 2 weeks I really freaked. I think I cried once a day the first week. But from there I built a life, a group of friends and learned major negotiation skills in asia. I treasure what I've learned in communication skills, people and how to get stuff done (find a place to sleep, get that bus, find an ATM etc.).

The dead were right man...Amanda

Alright, two weeks back now from my 6.5 month South America trip, I think I'm ready to bite the bullet and face myself now...

First of all, things just aren't a big deal anymore. Basically everything that I thought was pretty important and allowed to influence my daily attitude pre-trip are nearly irrelevant and stupid now (I mean stuff such as friends talking behind your back, clothes, grades, etc.). It's just not worth it. On the other hand, things that pre-trip I knew should be the most important but never could find the time or motivation to nurture are now the most valuable and highest priorities in my life. Family, friends, community, education, health, positive attitudes. The things that matter in life.

I enjoy nature more, sit inside less. I go out more at night with my friends and take enjoyment in meeting new people, sit inside with myself and wallow in self-pity less. Enjoy food more. Enjoy life more. Take responsibility for my life more. Show up at my job on time every time. Easier to keep everything in perspective. Take greater pride in my appearance and in my health. Don't take things for granite. Am less wasteful. Make people laugh by indulging them in my ridiculous stories. Am better-mannered. Live my life more.

Pre-trip, I pretty much was a confident person, save a few respects, but now, I am confident in all ways. When shit happened down there, I had no one to turn to but myself. Did it all by learning to take everything as it comes, one at a time. No other way to live life.

In short (have to go to work), it's so worth it.

Yup, what Sisuphile said. (Welcome back!!)

I feel like everytime I travel alone I get more centered, confident and capable of making decisions. Without the outside distractions offered by the comfort of familiarity I feel like I have so much more perspective and the ability to act on it without second guessing myself. Sigh...can't wait to get out there again!

Solo tripping changed my whole entire life. My friend totally ditched me in Costa Rica after we had planned a 3 month trip after high shcool.
So there I was 17 and camping on a beach in southern costa by myself underneath a canopy of scarlet macaws and the best right point break I have ever ridden in my life in front of me.
This town had no electricity and a man who resembled Jerry Garcia would bring me food from his solar powered house. I accepted his genorosity and ate pb and js for a week.

6 years later and I still think of my 2 monthes by myself in Costa Rica as the best time of my life. It opened me up to so much more then I would have experienced with someone who I had known;

Rock on solo style.

My first solo trip was that proverbial "first drink" that got me addicted to international travel..it began with trekking thru Ireland, Scotland and Wales for a month....then the Caribeean, Central America, Africa, Argentina, Japan, and so on. I now feel like some kinda' travel junkie going thru serious withdrawals if I don't have a plane ticket in hand for my next trip...

I'll agree wholeheartedly with all the previous posts that touch on the resourcefulness that it develops in you.

The "flexibiity" is unbeatable: was recently coming back from London, the flights were oversold, they were looking for volunteers to get off. With no one to answer to and no consensus to seek, I did that for two days in a row---walked away with $200 in food vouchers for London (I can demolish $200 of U.K. food in two days), two nights in a nice London hotel, and $1,300 in airline travel vouchers.

Going solo I think makes it easier for locals to extend hospitality to you...I've been treated to some fantastic eats & drinks by locals who could take one person out for a local meal, a round of the local brew, etc.