BootsnAll Travel Community

me di cuenta que soy un communista

I found it amazing reading through this. I agree with what everyone says. I think I would agree with everyone that said that the main thing they found was a new found self confidence, and self belief. I used to be a really shy, quiet person, that hated to be noticed/get involved. I am now much more outgoing, and have more confidence. I think I am more open minded now as well.

Travelling solo really allows one to find themselves. You really become comfortable in yourself..if that makes sense.

quote:

Originally posted by MarkA:
I guess the biggest thing to overcome is loneliness. Surprisingly, you don't overcome loneliness by meeting more and more people; you overcome it by being alone.

I agree with Eowyn....nice post MarkA. I guess that's why a big city can be lonelier than a small town for some.

I'll add something that I have just recently come to believe in strongly...is sometimes/always? you must do the opposite in order to conquer objective in the long term.

- You don't become happy by trying to be happy. (Thus why I hate Disney-anything and cheesy Hollywood endings)
- You don't stop wars by marching for peace.
- You don't become confident, by saying "I'm confident."
- You don't lose weight by saying I'm going to lose weight.

One must address the real reasons for all of these. And all the reasons come from the brain. There is only one enemy...and it ain't the hands that pull the trigger or pick up an extra piece of food, nor the facial muscles to laugh or smile.

Again...all in the long term. Short-term ok, but considering the history of the world....of the 20th century...the yo-yo continues...

The power of positive thinking often only works in the short term. Contrary to Tony Robbins, Oprah, etc...why are they mega-millionaires/billionaires?

If their advice worked.....

I liked the posting by circusoflife and MarkA,

I think loneliness can best be conquored from both within and than on the outside. Am i lonely because there are no people around? or am I lonely because the type of connections I am making leave me unsatisfied and feeling even more alienated? I started thinking about that question- what it means to be lonely, on my second major trip. I started wondering what kind of relationships and connections do I need with people and what is stopping me from feeling not lonely.
At the same time, there is merit in having some time to feel lonely and think about my relationship with myself as well as, and this may sound cheesy, how I can be a better friend to myself.

My first solo trip, though just a long weekend, was Budapest.
I later made a few others, most notably one to Berlin, which was one WILD four-day weekend.

I found that I do learn a lot more about the locale, including language and great places to check out, when I'm not distracted by travel buddies. I met some of the most interesting and fun people, but it also made me appreciate having someone to back up your stories when you get back. For that reason, if nothing else, I will normally travel with at least one other person.

I do distinctly remember sitting back in one of the Turkish baths in Pest, chatting with an interesting German girl I had met. I had my epiphany then. My life rocks. It was 9:30pm, pitch black, just over freezing, and I was sitting in an outdoor, hot spring bath in a country most of my classmates couldn't place on a map. It was my moment.

When I told some of my friends from back home in the States that I just up and left for Budapest without telling anyone, and came back a changed man, one of them simply replied, "Well, did you see the Dali Lama?"

Wow, this really is a GREAT thread.

Thanks so much, eowyn218, for starting it.

Here is a story of one of my solo (mis)adventures that, ultimately, ended well.

Years ago, I had just "landed" in the great Northwest, Seattle region. Quickly, I became enthused about all the opportunities there.

So, I picked up a little equipment so I could go backpacking. This cheechako (Alaskan word for newbie/tenderfoot) was full of zeal to explore.
Oh no, no "easy" trails for me. I bought a guidebook on hikes in the area. Whoa...one of the pages hit me! "Found Lake", gotta be a Higher Power slappin' me upside the head (I thought). So, I ventured to the trailhead for "Found Lake". After a bit of routefinding, I did indeed find "Found Lake". I stayed overnight and began the hike up first, then out, then down back to my vehicle.
Soon, I began to hear the Patron Saint & Aviator of "lost hikers". Yes, it was the Fugawi bird. Its cry is unmistakeable! It goes...Wheredafugarewe, wheredafugarewe...
As a retraced my steps both physically and mentally after about three hours of brush crashing, I realized far, far below me were two small tarns (little lakes) that I had passed on my way in. Soon, I took out my compass, obtained a heading and went for it. Of course, the actual route to the tarns was actually down then UP. I just knew if I could get to those tarns, I would be able to pick up the trail back to my vehicle. Soon, I was climbing up on "all sixes".
"All sixes" = two hands, two knees and two feet" up a very steep hillside. I was struggling mightily even though I was aerobically quite fit. Then, I heard voices...muffled voices...mixed with leaden footfalls. I listened and listened and then asked..."Where are you guys???" They replied...."Uhhhh...we're on the trail." I then enthusiastically vectored to them, found the trail and hiked out with them. When I reached my vehicle, I found that someone had, for some reason, mashed a large chocolate chip cookie on my windshield. I was out of food and VERY hungry so I took a tentative taste...still good!!! and then polished off the rest of that cookie!!!

What did I learn?

1. Humility. It was true. I really did NOT know Jack about mountains!
2. Routefinding skills were not my strong point (at the time).
3. I need to learn RouteFinding! So, I joined an outdoor organization in Seattle where I learned all sorts of neat outdoor skills like snow cave building, scrambling, teleski, a little climbing and, of course, route finding.
4. Dont let Robert Service* get to/into your head too much!

*The Men That Don't Fit In by Robert Service

My first solo trip was studying abroad for a year in Amsterdam. It wasn't completely solo because I immediately met and became friendly with loads of other international students studying in the 'Dam.
However, all my trips around the region were by myself and I often spent afternoons walking the city by myself and nights partying by myself [in hopes of meeting others, of course].

I changed in more ways that I could ever write down. Well first, I came out of the closet, which was a big step for me. I then also realized that things can be done completely different than the way they are done in California, and that doesn't make the people/society any better or worse. I also learned personally that I loathe the time constraints and obligations that are required in normal society. I hate having to be in specific places at specific times and be tied down to a job in order to pay for my aptmt, health insurance, transportation, etc. I also learned that there are idiots in every country, not just America [though we do seem to have the lion's share].

My first solo trip changed me beyond recognition. It has given me confidence I never had and a much more positive outlook than before.

It has made me a more rounded person as well.

Another story of the a slightly older, slightly wiser but still a Cheechako! in the winter wilderness years post the
"Found Lake episode."

It was December 31st, 199something.

This forum member was drinking a cuppa joe in Seattle thinking...

Hey! Why not spend New Years with a bunch of Canadians?

Sooooooo, I moseyed up Interstate 5, cruised thru Vancouver, BC and on up to Squamish, BC.

Outside this lovely lil' town with the Squamish Chief (mountain) looming over its town, there is
a steep, narrow you can take to a trailhead for a large cabin in a Provincial Park.

It is "just" 11km. "Just a stroll on skis and you are there" (or so I was told "down below" in "Van"
at an outdoor store). Weather report was "light snow".

Off I set about 7pm (dark) for the cabin with overnight pack with sleeping bag, Thermorest and
bivy bag on tele skis w/climbing skins on w/head lamp lighting the way.

Interestingly, I had "prestuffed" my sleeping bag in my bivy bag.

It was snowing lightly but I made good time until the trees thinned. Then, the snow reflected
back my head lamp beams so I had to go back and forth to find the blazes (orange poles actually) that
pointed the way to the cabin. I realized about 1am New Years Day that I had "missed the party".
At this point, I elected to bivouac. I turned my skis bindings down on the snow in a lee to
the wind, inflated my Thermorest and climbed in my bag. It got quite cold outside but I was
warm...until...about 5am...when I felt an overwhelming need to release fecal contents.
Talk about chapped ass not to mention frozen chestnuts!

I groggily awoke after fitful slumber to leaden skies and discovered that over two feet of snow
had fallen while I slept. After a bit of food and water, I started out. Even on the trail, even on skis, it
was a tremendous struggle as I sank to my upper thighs with the skis on!

After a few hours of this workout, my whole body was shaking and I was losing control
of muscular function. I had decided that I was going to ditch most of my pack contents
and cache them. I was just going to keep bag, water, food.

Just as I was making this decision, two ridges away, I saw...

A party of skiers coming out! Yeah!

I wait about twenty minutes for them to reach me because I KNEW it would be a smooth highway
to the hut on their track out.

After arrival at hut, I found a rack and dozed. Later in the day, two guys I met in the parking lot
made it to the hut. They had been ahead of me so I could not figure out how they arrived after
me. "Oh", they said. We stayed at the HALF-WAY hut (which I skied right past in the dark!).

Lessons learned:

1. Weather, darkness can affect outcome of wilderness journey even with light.
2. Take local advice with grain of salt.
3. Do not travel to strange wilderness destinations by yourself. (Some may disagree with this one).
4. I can survive an "emergency" bivouac.
5. Strength and aerobic power are trumped by wisdom and backcountry "good" judgment. Everytime.

Would I go back to the hut again?

Of course

But I would leave much earlier from trailhead so that I would not be benighted on the trail.
I would also go with others.

There ya go.

I offer this story in hopes that others who hear the siren call of the wilderness will learn from my mistakes.

Hi everybody,

I can relate with a little of everything that most people have posted. For me, It was my first time out of the country--let alone travelling by myself. I lived a pretty sheltered life in California (as I found most people in my age range and hometown did), and was feeling a need to challenge myself in a way I never have, nor could ever imagine I would. Most people doubted that I would do it (including myself), but in the end, all doubt had been erased when I returned six months later from Oz alive and well.

It's strange, because I wasn't immediately aware of the real significant changes until faced with what would have been a highly stressful situation in my life--the reactionary response and the perception of the problems magnitude were different. I remembered the first time that it happened, It was the very first time that I realized change within myself

I've never done a solo trip by myself (I'm only seventeen), but I was an exchange student in Sweden last year and that definitely changed me a lot. I love the feeling of figuring things out by myself and, like some of you have mentioned, I'm a lot more outgoing and lively when I'm out on my own.

And I know it's peanuts compared to a real solo trip, but I had the coolest afternoon of my life recently when my dad and I were on a trip to Singapore and we got separated in the middle of Little India. I had NOTHING with me except a room key and about three dollars for emergencies. I wound up having a blast working my way back to where we were staying.

Like a lot of you, I'm in my element when I find myself somewhere unfamiliar and have to work out how to get what I need.

Well, it wasn't techically a solo trip but considering I was with my seven year old, it was all on me. I am embarassed to even say this, but we went to London. I know, not exactly exotic -- but it totally opened my world. I bought the tickets totally on impulse (I was looking for tickets to North Carolina and a super sale on BA popped up -- I bought those instead). It was much harder than I thought it would be -- I had told myself that it would be a piece of cake because they spoke English -- but everything was out of my comfort zone -- the city, the traffic, the money, the food, the accents, the transportation, everything...

Coming home from that trip, I felt like such a grownup -- never mind that I had a career, was raising a child alone, and had finished a graduate program -- I really felt like an adult when I took my child out of the US for the first time (and myself -- it was the first time I had ever been out of the country...I hadn't even been to Mexico or Canada!) and figured out how to make it work with absolutely no one as my safety net. It absolutely was one of my defining moments -- I was so proud of myself on the plane back to the states. And we totally got the travel bug...that was only three years ago, but since then, we have already been to Ireland, Mexico, Canada, London (again), Hawaii, Thailand and are heading to Costa Rica next week and Kenya next year.

I found out that I am much stronger than I thought I was and that I will do whatever I set my mind to. That first trip has enriched my life tenfold -- and has changed the way I view the world and my feeling of responsibility of raising a child with a global perspective. My impulse buy was the smartest thing I have ever done.

Great thread, btw.

It's so true... travelling by yourself can be a real eye opener. You learn so much about yourself.

Before my rtw trip I always used to say that I wasn't a fan of my own company and preferred to be around others. But after living in dorms and using communal bathrooms for a few months I quickly learned that actually I really value my privacy and time alone with my thoughts.

Travelling alone also provides a huge sense of achievement - it makes you a stronger person and teaches you to believe in yourself. I remember one particularly bad day when I was suffering from a mild fever and was travelling between Malaysia and Thailand with some friends. The journey was horrendous - we came upon quite a few obstacles and my feeling so bad didn't make the day any easier. I've quite often said how glad I am they were there that day as I couldn't have managed it on my own. However, when I actually stop to think about it, I would have managed on my own because I would have had to have managed. The only alternative would have been for me to just sit down and say something along the lines of "That's it. I'm not going any further... I'll just stay right here on this spot with no food or accomodation until somebody offers to help me." Hmm... !

At the end of the day, when you're on your own you just have to deal with whatever situation life throws your way. Sitting down and burrying your head in the sand simply isn't an option. It might not be easy, but I think everybody has it in them - sometimes it just takes a difficult situation and an unpleasant day to realise it.

It was 1975, and much to the grief and anger of my parents decided to go to Yucatán rather than Cleveland to visit them. Several things happened on that trip that have affected me ever since:

• I lost my fear of heights forever by climbing MesoAmerican pyramids. Not that I went in for mountain-climbing or anything like that, but the fear just evaporated.
  
• It suddenly hit home that a dank mildewed tropical city like Mérida could still be a really neat destination. Things could be remarkable while not resembling Disneyland in the slightest.
  
• I felt for the first time like a traveler, and that this was my destiny. (Since then, I have had to make compromises in order to keep my head above water enough to allow me to travel.)
  
• I stayed in funky old cheap hotels for the first time and didn't mind it. The atmosphere at the Gran Hotel and other places more than made up for the ratty showers and threadbare bed linen.
  
• Shortly after my return, I started having better luck in my relationships. Something undefinable had changed inside of me.
  

Now, if I could only travel more.

Jim Paris

When I was in 8th grade I went to Haiti. I think my father thought I should see the worst hell-hole he could find so the two of us joined an Church work mission there. It was shortly after Baby Doc had lost power but no one had replaced him yet. Anarchy is supposed to be frightening but the island was still celebrating the riddance of that man. I wonder if that is why I enjoy traveling so much. Because Haiti was the first place I went overseas I think buried in my sub-conscious is the idea that anywhere outside of the United States is Haiti. Therefore no manner where I go I always am pleasently surprised. “Hey, at least its better than Haiti.”

I say that with tongue firmly in cheek. As an 8th grader Haiti was overwhelming but I want to go back again and see what my younger eyes could not.

Fantastic thread!

I'm a few months into a long RTW and although Russia was a little rough, a story too strange for this post, I feel completely liberated traveling alone.

NY is home so I'm usually working at lightning speed. But these days nothing riles me. I have no reservations, no plans, I do what I want without notice.

Biggest change, and I thank BnA for the suggestion, I propositioned my hometown newspaper and they made me a travel correspondent.

It's a dream to write for a living, albeit a meager one. But I'm finally doing it. I never had the balls before to try it.

Two years to go. Already I can eat anything, sleep anywhere, take pleasure just in existing. "This is living" I think all the time.

I realized I was better off by myself and out of my booooooring country that is Norway, when I went on my first trip for six weeks in London by myself. I realized that I could only realize my potential outside of my normal setting.


After that I have been traveling for almost a year (with six months study mixed in at two locations) and am now back home. I can not wait to get out of here again! So I am thinking of going on a grand Asia tour for six months. I will be officially studying at Uni but have planned for months my genius scheme of choosing subjects with no obligatory attendance and never showing up (except from continuing exams in spring) and getting a loan from the government to fund my studies

Genius

first solo trip to the US- i decided to take a year off of school and take 2nd solo trip
second solo trip to Aus/NZ - i decided to drop out of school and follow a new path
3rd solo trip to West Africa- i got married to a local, came home and enbarked on 4th solo trip (well my hubby was there so maybe it wasnt so solo?)
4th solo trip to West Africa - came home preggers and havent looked back!!

i have been home for 2 years now but i try to live everyday here at home as a traveller - always discovering new places and things and secret corners of this crazy city i live in.. i have life-changing realizations practically daily. life is crazy!!

I really have to echo much of what people have said here.

I've done a few solo trips, scattered over the past 6 years or so, all just a bit more adventurous than the last. I started out with about 5 or 6 weeks travelling across my own country and up north, moved on to a short overseas trip in western europe, and to a longer overseas trip in eastern europe.

For me, the major benefit has been to be able to prove to myself that I can be independent and can take care of myself. To know that in theory has been quite different from having concrete evidence. That knowledge, in turn, has I think left me feeling more confident at home as well.

It's been great to read all of your thoughts.

Although my last two trips have been solo (albeit the first one was quite short) in that I went alone, I was rarely ever actually alone because on both trips I started finding people to hang out with on the plane. I realize this is a bit of cheating, but it was a big step for me and I still find myself agreeing with much of this thread.

Before I went away had very little confidence, and my main worries when I was leaving were last-minute doubts about finding anyone who would like me at all. I was never able to feel like I could ever break out of feeling this way when I was here. It wasn't until I went away and was in some senses on my own that I was able to stop hating myself so much and actually become somewhat confident in myself as a person, and in my abilities to survive (and be happy) on my own. I surprised myself by being much stronger than I thought I was, and this feeling stayed with me when I came back, although it isn't as strong as it was before. Case in point: I never noticed, cared, or questioned it before when my family insulted me (although never in a malicious manner), but four insults into my dinner the day after I came home and I definitely noticed because I wasn't used to it and I didn't believe it anymore. I didn't hesitate to say that it bothered me and that it hurt me more than they intended it to, and was actually able to change something that's been bothering me for a long time. Sure it's a very small example, I mean this wasn't exactly standing up to Goliath, but it meant and still means a lot to me.

Traveling alone also changed my views of what I want to do with the rest of my life and what it means to be successful. Before my boldest dream was spending a year abroad, but after proving to myself that I get along perfectly well on my own I know that I'm able to and want to go to university abroad. In more long-term plans (because thus far this post has been nothing if not a flashing sign pointing out that I'm not exactly a paragon of elderly wisdom), I now know that happiness doesn't necessarily come from the typical idea of success, or at least not for me; I was happier being dirt poor than I've ever been here and would gladly give up all the money I have to be that happy again.