BootsnAll Travel Community

I think we've all heard it before - "It's so dangerous!" "You can't go there - you'll get kidnapped." "You can't." "Blah, blah, blah..." How do you deal with it?

I know people are well-intentioned, but they just don't know what I know. I've traveled enough to know that 99.9% of people across the world are kind, generous, wonderful people. And traveling is the best way to get to know them. And yet, so many people listen to the nightly news and think everyone beyond their little circle is evil and out to get them.

On another forum, someone posted about all the dangers in Central America and about how I shouldn't be taking my children on bicycles through that area - we'll get mugged and robbed and raped and beaten. while I do know that's a possibility, I realize that's a possibility here at home too. And yet so many people don't see that.

So - how do you respond to those comments? Here is what I wrote in response to that question:

quote:

Are you going into this blind? Please don't be nieve about it. It's not all a safe and happy journey. I just want you to be sure you know the truth. I've been there and know the risk.

Thank you for your concern and thoughts. While we do understand there are some inherit risks, we don't feel they are something we need to be overly concerned about. Yes, there is a chance we could get robbed at knife point, but I know more people who have been robbed at knifepoint in the USA than overseas. Yes, we could get kidnapped, but we believe the chances of that happening are slight.

We are not blind nor naive. I have spent most of my adult life living in foreign countries - Honduras, Egypt, Ethiopia, Taiwan, and Malaysia. All said, I've spent 18 years abroad and have experienced all kinds of situations. We lived through a war between Ethiopia and Eritrea, we lived in Taiwan during the SARS scare, and we experienced the aftermath of the tsunami while living in Malaysia. Between me and my husband, we've cycled in something like 16 countries. Yes, things happen - but they happen very rarely. In all honesty, I am more scared here in the USA than I ever was overseas.

I think we live with an illusion of security in our "home". Somehow, our brain tells us 'home' is safer than the unfamiliar. And yet, I'm not convinced that's true. Why should I think it is safer in Boise than it is in Portland or Dallas or Managua? I think we feel that way only because it's familiar and we're comfortable. Although I would like to say Boise is safe, I've known people who have been robbed right here in my own hometown. No, it doesn't happen often, but it happens. And it happens in Portland, and in Bakersfield, and in Tegucigalpa and Quito and Lima.

When I was in high school an ambulance came screaming past our house one evening and stopped at a house a block away. The next morning I found out that a 6-year-old child had slipped in the bathtub, hit his head, and died. So do I not allow my kids to take a bath?

At what point do we draw the line? At what point do we allow fear of the unknown to control our lives? Yes, we take precautions. We all do that every day. But I don't believe we can allow fear to stop us from living.

I do realize some people will feel that Guatemala or Honduras or whatever is "dangerous", and it may very well be. At this point, we have friends that are cycling Honduras right now after spending a few months in Guatemala, and they say they feel no danger whatsoever. We have other friends that are now in South America after having passed through Central America in the past few months. They all report conditions are fine - right now. We will rely on local knowledge and make decisions when we get there. If all reports indicate that an area is dangerous, we will take a bus through or perhaps even fly over it. We will make that call when the time comes.

Thanks again for expressing your concern. I think many people are thinking the exact same things, and I hope I've kind of cleared the waters a little bit.

I think you say I appreciate your concern, but we've done our research and are very excited about our trip. We all make choices and take risks each day, and this is one we have chosen to take.

I don't think you have to go into any great detail. It comes off as defensive. When people say those things to me, I thank them for caring, and go on my merry way.

Good point. I guess I am defensive because I honestly believe that I am doing something good for my kids, but many people think we are being foolish and risking their lives. I try to help them see that they are endangering their kids' lives each and every time they get in a car or take a bath or go for a bike ride around the neighborhood, but a lot of people don't want to see that. And they believe that their neighborhood is safer then anyone else's. I know people mean well, but it just bugs me.

I think it's great if you believe in what you are doing. You should, this is a great undertaking!

That's all you need to say. Who cares what people on the interweb who don't even know you say?

I lived in Morocco during the bomb blasts they had in Casa and whatnot. I wasn't in Casa but that didnt stop my friends from writing me and telling me to come home. Meh. Bombs happen, kidnappings happen. They happen. Hopefully you'll be lucky and meet only good people. But if not? Part of life. You cannot put your goals, asperations and wants on hold because of some random guy with a grudge that you may or may not meet.

This said there are some obvious 'duh's' in protecting yourself, and you absolutly should have a back-up plan should your bikes get stolen or should yada yada yada yada happen. But like annie said, dont worry about these people. Just say 'thanks' and go about your business.

I usually respond that I'd rather die traveling than by getting hit by a bus at home.

It's a little morbid and shuts people up pretty quickly.

quote:

Originally posted by crackerjillian:
I usually respond that I'd rather die traveling than by getting hit by a bus at home.

It's a little morbid and shuts people up pretty quickly.

Great response. Maybe I'll try that. But then again - I've got kids and they'll just say, "That's OK for you - but your kids don't have a choice." Maybe I shouldn't be so crass after all.

I think you should have a standard response written ( write it when you are calm..so that you don't sound defensive). Writing when you are upset in the end will only upset you.

Take that response and copy it in the comment or maybe you can write a blog entry on all the facts you mentioned in your earlier post and share that with people who leave comments.

People in general are not saying or giving this advice because they don't want anybody to travel. Maybe they are sharing their own experiences and feelings or sharing their ignorance.

Don't take them (ignorant comments) to heart but educate em..and you can reassure them. Share with them your experience, your beliefs, your preparations and your mindset etc. Maybe this person will say hey I have a freind in Columbia..email him when you want information for Columbia and wish you luck.

Tit for tat does not help in my opinion.

I actually did write up a blog entry ages ago about that very thing - maybe I should put a link to that blog entry. It basically says the same things I said above - but maybe in a nicer way.

When I was small - as little as four or five years old, my wonderful, favorite great uncle used to take me and my cousins out to do all kinds of dangerous and inappropriate things. Rock scrambling. Cliff diving. Primative camping. Riding wild horses and playing with bad dogs. Walking in Harlem. When people would take him to task, he'd just shrug and say "When you live in the forest, you don't fear the wolves."

After taking an unmitigated amount of crap for living in a barrio with my daughter, taking her to places like Japan and the Phillipines, and rehabbing fighting dogs with her, I think I get what he means. Most of the things people are scared of, they fear because they don't understand. If you spend some time traveling / working with animals / living in the bad part of town / flying without a motor, you come to understand that everything you do has its joys and its dangers, and if you keep your wits about you, fear is no reason not to spend your time doing things you love.

Bike with your kids to Argentina. Don't be dumb, and don't be scared and don't let the sheep make you sheepish.

La

quote:

Originally posted by La Rosser:

Bike with your kids to Argentina. Don't be dumb, and don't be scared and don't let the sheep make you sheepish.

La

Great line!! Thanks for that!

This is something im going to encounter when i announce to my workmates/family/buddies of my intention to quit and go on a Backpack/budget travel through SE Asia not only comments about fears but negative comments about what im going to do comments such as:
"WHY WOULD YOU GO THERE FOR????"
"Why would you wanna travel overseas for we got everything here?"
"Why are you throwing everything away just to go to SEAsia?"
"YOU IDIOT YOUR THROWING EVERYTHING YOU WORK HARD FOR!!!!!"
"When you comeback do you know how difficult it will be for you to get a job @ your age?"
"Dont you think your a bit too old to be doing this?"
"Your behaving very irresponsibly by doing this"
"You do realise how dangerous it is in SEAsia"
" My Uncle/friend/brother/whatever went there and regretted it "
etc etc etc....... but my solution is simple im just not gunna listen to the controlled mindless masses and just go ahead with my plan regardless of the comments.In Australia people tend to be very negative about something thats out of the norm so its just something im gunna expect and just deal with but as for you Nancysv my guess is your gunna go anyway so just ignore them and let them worry about IMAGINARY dangers that may lay ahead.

quote:

Originally posted by Kinraade:
...so just ignore them and let them worry about IMAGINARY dangers that may lay ahead.

The thing is - I think the dangers are more than imaginary. It's just that I'm not convinced they are any more real than the dangers right here in the USA.

I can sympathize - I don't get a ton of flack from most people about how much I travel, but my family (especially my mother, who is terrified of flying and tends to project her fear onto others) tends to freak out about the potential dangers.

What's funny is that I grew up in one of the most dangerous cities in America! Statistically, most of the places I've been are much, much safer. That said, bad stuff can happen anywhere so you might as well travel, have fun, etc.

For what it's worth, Nancy, I think you're giving your boys (and your dog) the most amazing gift. Your kids will grow up experiencing what it means to be human under many different circumstances. They'll understand a much larger spectrum of humanity than most adults. I am so impressed by you!

As far as people's comments, you can always reply that they'll be escaping becoming complacent in their lives. If you're like me, and snarky, you could reply that you're saving them from potential school shootings, dangerous meningitis outbreaks, and dodgy cafeteria food.

Focus on what you're giving you're family, not what potential dangers lurk around the corner. They lurk around every corner, after all, whether you're in Central America or Orange County.

And I say this as a high school teacher who firmly believes the majority of my students would have become much happier people had they had the opportunity you've given your kids.

quote:

Originally posted by 2drifters:
For what it's worth, Nancy, I think you're giving your boys (and your dog) the most amazing gift. Your kids will grow up experiencing what it means to be human under many different circumstances. They'll understand a much larger spectrum of humanity than most adults. I am so impressed by you!

And I say this as a high school teacher who firmly believes the majority of my students would have become much happier people had they had the opportunity you've given your kids.

I'm a high school teacher too, and I totally agree with what you say. I see my students being so limited in their thinking, and I think my boys are already so much more knowledgeable than most of them - and they are only 10!

We are thrilled to give our kids the education we are, and are totally convinced it will be an incredible opportunity for them.

Honestly, I really love calculating using real statistics.
For instance I found out that I was 503 times more likely to be shot and killed in my neighborhood than die as a tourist of any cause in Egypt. I tell people things like this and ask them how they feel safe being at home all the time. Most people have something they like to do or some habit that is dangerous. I tend to point this out to people and how my traveling is actually much more healthy and safe. Things can and do happen everywhere. Sadly, America is driven by fear. Personally, I believe that is a bi-product of our economic system but in any case many (if not most) Americans seem to be afraid of everything. Its the most beautiful experience to help show other people that the world and life have so much to offer, once you see it is okay to open up. It is extremely frustrating to deal with people until they get to that point, though.

BTW, I think its an amazing thing that you are doing with your kids. I am very happy that my parents traveled with me as a kid as much as they did (and I never left the country).

That's a great statistic brambles!! I feel exactly the same - America is nowhere near as "safe" as people like to think. I have spent a total of 16 years traveling/living abroad and felt way safer for most of that time than I ever do here in the US. I don't think the US is any more or less dangerous than those places, but the US media makes it out to be such a horrible place, so we start to believe it. I am so glad I have the perspective I do rather than having to rely on US media for my world view!!!

Media blew everything out of proportion everywhere, not only in US. When I hear crap like :"oh that's such a dangerous country" from a twat that biggest escapade was a camping trip in the 80's I don't even bother explaining.
My dad however drives me mad with his crazy ideas. Over the years daddy's little girl has traveled alone through evil scary countries like Morocco, Cambodia, Mexico, Brazil etc. Nothing ever happened to me, from every trip I would come back happy, healthy and full of stories about friendly and helpfull people. My dad is never convinced, he actually came up with a code talk for me. Well, if I ever get kidnapped and when I'm held with a gun pointed to my head with the kidnappers making me call home and say I'm fine, just need money - all I have to say is ask " How is Suzi" (our dog that died years ago). My dad then will know to contact the embassy, consulates and Interpol.

I used to have a dog named Suzi!!! I loved that little one...

I think there is a lot of fear of the unknown - people just don't know what we know. Most people in the world are kind, generous, wonderful people who will go out of their way to help others. I wish the general population could understand that.