BootsnAll Travel Community

Im off on my RTW trip in January and I am starting to feel a little anxious. Although I am a very independant person I have never travelled alone before. Is it lonely on the road? I am a 25 year old male who is enthusiastic, adventurous and friendly and am interested in meeting others. has anyone been is this position before? Know ppl that are or were in the same position? I know I'm really reaching here, but any advice would be helpful.


Itinerary:
Toronto to New Zealand
NZ to Aus
Aus to Thailand
Thailand to Nepal
Nepal to India
India to South Africa
South Africa up the east coast of Africa
Ethiopia to Morocco
Morocco to South/Western Europe

Yeah, I'm in exactly the same boat. Although I'm only 18! Heading off on a solo RTW trip starting Jan (also going to NZ then), and am a little anxious about the possibilities of lonliness on the road.

I'm told that I'll meet heaps of people but that doesn't completely nullify the fears that rest in the back-of-my-mind. I guess I'll just try and be outgoing and make sure I speak to as many people as possible. She'll be right.

Anyway, I guess I'm also waiting for some responses to this. Maybe some tips on how to meet people?

Daniel

Most of the time you'll thank your lucky stars for the independence and freedom that solo travel brings. But you can also be lonier than ever before. This happens when you truly veer off the beaten track--something that is next to impossible if you don't go solo--and after weeks of not speaking your language/English to anyone you can find yourself going a little loopy. The choice is yours: it is easy to meet up with people at the major backpacker hubs (such as Bangkok) and team up for a while or head to the more popular spots if you need a break from solitude, but you'll never truly experience travel unless you go on your own. In my opinion, anyway.

I'm guessing that when you are in the position where no-one speaks your language or you start to feel lonely, that is when a journal is so useful. To write what you feel rather than where you are/what you are doing. At least you're alone with your inner self.

Hey there, I have to say that just over 12 months ago I was in EXACTLY the same position as you guys and I have to say that I felt really scared. However in the nine months that I was away there was rarely a time when I was alone - unless I wanted to be. I'm quite an outgoing person but even for me, just going up to someone and introducing myself and asking if they wanted to go for a beer was a daunting task in itself. A first you do feel like a bit of an idiot (you think that they're thinking that your desperate for friends which in a way I suppose you are but probably so are they as well!!!) but it soon wears off and you find that the reaction of people 99% of the time is positive - the other 1% look at you as if you've dropped from the sky but they're not worth bothering with anyway! And also try talking to someone who doesn't look like "your kind of person", I guarantee that you'll be pleasantly surprised most of the time!
The beauty of travelling solo is that you have a choice - to be alone or to go up and talk to people. Also, if you find yourself attaching yourself to a cool group of people (normally made up of people who've met along the way anyway) and suddenly it all seems not so much fun as it did at the start, you can walk away, telling people that you've had a change of plan and no one can get annoyed or funny with you for doing so. Try telling you're best mate that you've planned a trip with for over a year that you've had a change of plan after a month - no thanks!!!
There will be times though when you want to be with people but there's no one at the hostel who seems receptive and even going out to places you're finding it hard to strike up a conversation. It forces you to be alone and to take in more of your surroundings and appreciate where you are but this can be a good thing.
I've found that my confidence has increased unbelievably since travelling solo and personally I wouldn't do it any other way! Oh and a top tip for making conversation I found is that most people like to talk about themselves so asking them questions and being genuinely interested in the response is a sure fire way to make friends!! May seem an obvious thing but quite a few people I met thought that talking about themselves non-stop was completely interesting for all involved!
Sorry if I've seemed to ramble but this is a subject very close to my heart - I have friends who can't meet me in a bar if there's a chance that they will get there first and have to get a drink and sit alone for more than five minutes and this is kinda alien to me now. People watching from a bar is one of the best ways to spend some alone time in a new place - especially in a new country where the people are SO different from home.
Ryan, I did some of the countries that you did (NZ, Oz, Thailand and South Africa) and I promise you that (and I'm damn sure this will apply to the other places too) if you have a smile on your face, an open mind, an interest in people and the guts to walk up to someone and start a conversation then you won't go wrong. Have fun and enjoy it!!!!

Very informative post there spiceymel!

Have a question though: which people will you walk up to and start a conversation with? Just other solo people? Or people in a group? Just travelers? Locals? etc

And you just walk up to people and say "Hi, I'm ......." What after that?

I'm another in the same boat. I land in Bangkok on Oct 18. I may visit for a while with someone I know who lives there, but not for nearly the whole year I'm there. The differnce with me is that I am not a very outgoing person. I will want to meet other people, but at home I am basically a loner.

I also fear boredom. What will I do everyday? That is the most asked question I get. What will you do everyday? And I really don't know the answer. What do you do everyday? You can't possible be on the go 365 days in a row. I do plan on just chilling in a decent hotel occasionally (hot shower, comfortable bed, AC).

I'm not much of a drinker, or a bar person either, so there goes a major opportunity to meet people. It will have to happen in the hostels for me.

I got back from a solo RTW trip a couple months ago, and I'm wholeheartedly in favour of solo travel.

As others have said, travelling solo gives you the best of both worlds. You're completely free to change your plans at the drop of a hat without telling anyone (there was one instance where, while second in line to buy a bus ticket I flipped a coin to decide on my destination) but almost any time you like, you can pick up company very easily.

I found that almost anywhere I went there were locals keen to talk with me. Depending on where you are, your accent or skin colour will probably make you an automatic curiosity. In many places people will be overjoyed to chat, just for the practice speaking English. You'll regularly find people approaching YOU to talk.

As for meeting fellow travellers, that may be even easier. Unless you get WAY off the beaten track there will almost always be some others around.
Better still, you automatically have something in common with them. You both like travelling, you've both decided to visit the same place, and odds are pretty good you've been to or are headed to some of the same places, so conversations are easy to start and almost invariably interesting.

I met soooo many friendly and interesting people simply by walking up and asking "mind if I have a seat with you?" or "have you been here long?"

Enjoy your trip, and have no fear, you'll doubtless have just as much or as little social contact as you like along the way.

I think it is much, much easier to meet people - both other travelers and locals - when you travel alone. I think travelers as a group are much more receptive to speaking to new people (there's another thread on this board about feeling lonely at home when people aren't as open to meeting).

The times I have traveled alone, I also struggle with the "what will I do all day"...I think we are kind of taught to feel bad not being on the go. But you will find stuff to do and people to talk to. Maybe not all the time, but for me at least, part of traveling is just observing - it's okay to take it easy and do what's right for you.

I have travelled alone and with people...I gotta say I prefer travelling alone.
And I can be shy...not always, and not even usually...but sometimes I just get in this closed off world where I have nothing to say of interest and I can't imagine talking to someone...that's where a journal comes in really really handy.

There is a certain confidance in travelling with someone else. Safety, security, someone to share the expierence with...but when you're travelling alone you will almot 99.9% of the time meet people.

Even just going up to Canada by myself I met a girl from Swizerland and a gal from Alberta, travelling together who I talked to most of one night...
In Belize I met up with 3 people one whom I climbed ruins with and the other 2 I floated down a river with...
Good times I tell ya.

But really the trick is, when someone new walks in the hostel or the kitchen or the commmon room or whatever just smile and say, "Hi, my name is _____" and that's it. Usually you can put out your hand to shake...this works well too...and everytime I've ever done that they've replied and there ya have it...companionship and conversation.

I'm a wee bit aprehensive right now because I have a big solo trip planned in April. N. Africa and S. Europe all by me lonesome...but it's threads like these that make me realize, hey, it won't be so bad, infact, it will be fantastic.

Hey Daniel, glad you found my waffle useful!! Hmmmmm....
I have to say that other solo travellers are easier to talk to as generally they are more approachable than two people sat in intimate conversation with each other but saying that, the next easiest type of people to chat to were couples (as in mixed sex). I personally found two girls together the hardest to approach - perhaps cause I'm a girl too, I don't know why really. Groups aren't too bad, it's like the hunter picking off the weakest wilderbeast - you just pick the friendliest looking one and give it a go in the hope that you infiltrate the whole group. I may sound blase about it, but I really do sympathise as it is a hard thing to do and pretty alien to most people.
With regards to what to talk about once you've introduced yourself - well, be interested in them as I said (where are you from etc) and also ask their opinion (again, most people are MORE than willing!) - "So you've been here for a week already, anywhere you recommend going to?" etc etc.
Hope this is of some help too!

And you're completely right Prisa - it will be fantastic!! Have a great time!

definitely agree that solo travel is the way to go (though i havent set off on a big trip with a companion so i guess i havent seen the other side) and that you are rarely alone. I only found that i was starved for company off the beaten track and out of season or when i purposely put myself in the situation where there was nobody else around (i camped on one of the uninhabeted whitsunday islands for a few days seeking solitude and it drove me nuts i was bored out of my brain).

It all depends a bit where you go. With your destinations (except the North Africa part - Morocco is fine though), you'll have plenty of other travellers around and you'll seldom feel lonely. There are, however, destinations where meeting foreign travellers is a rarity. In Russia, off the TransSib, I met in 3 months 3 foreigners. One month in Kazakhstan 0 foreigner.

If you're scared about feeling lonely on the road, just make sure you choose well travelled destinations, as you more or less did. Things are gonna be fine.

Have fun and enjoy.

If you head out accepting the fact that there WILL be some lonely days, that helps a lot. Realize that you won't wake up every day in some Hollywood fantasyland where everything goes your way and you make five new friends each day over breakfast.

But sometimes that does happen! and when it does, it more than makes up for the lonely periods in between. And when the trip is over, you forget the lonely periods and hold on to those priceless moments and experience you never would have had if you didn't go traveling.

I, too, mostly travel alone and find it much easier to meet people when flying solo. And as far as who to approach, don't think to much about it, (solos, groups, couples, etc) just be sure and do it. Heck, experiment with approaching different types on different days.

It really comes down to a willingness to stick your neck out and speak to people. As Mel said, the response is almost always overwhelmingly positive. Remember, the other travelers out there have the same fears and are hoping to meet others, too.

On the other hand, meeting local citizens in the countries you visit can be more of a challenge. There can be cultural barriers, and language can be a problem. Sometimes interacting with locals will be a difficult nut to crack, while sometimes, such as my experiences in western Ireland, the locals will come right up to you and want to know all about you and what you think of their country. Was a pleasant surprise and shaped my opinion that the Irish are some of the friendliest people in the world.

Bottom line: You're going to be fine and have a great time, just be aware there will be some setbacks, disappointments, and lonely days as well.

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Oh and a top tip for making conversation I found is that most people like to talk about themselves so asking them questions and being genuinely interested in the response is a sure fire way to make friends!!

I agree 200% Mel! Dale Carnegie talks about how someone who asks questions and then listens earnestly and intently is often later complimented on being a brilliant conversationalist, even though they didn't say much of anything beyond asking the questions.

Ha, ha: for all that I was preaching the benefits of solo travel above, I'm currently consumed with pre-trip nerves and the biggest worry gnawing at my guts is the fear of being lonely again

It's worse even than my fear of cockroaches!

(It all seemed easier at 19...)

But, heck, this is what the boards are for. It is great to read everyone's thoughts on this and be reminded that there is no point in denying that it will get lonely at times -- but would I rather not go on that trip???

I have to snap out of this

The part that I have found difficult about travelling solo is that after awhile I get sick of introducing myself over and over and telling my whole story repeatedly. The whole, "this is who I am", "this is where I am from", "this is where I have been".... Does anyone else get tired of that after a few months? Sometimes I would prefer to be alone rather than introduce myself and tell my story for the 100th time.

There were times when I travelled alone and did meet people but still felt a craving to be around someone I really knew and who really knew me; someone that I had an actual history with. So even when you are with people it is still possible to feel lonely. I agree that solo travel is great, but I certainly don't think it is for everyone.

But as someone mentioned above I believe, feeling lonely is a way of growing and challenging yourself as well. You'll increase your comfort zone and learn to feel ok about being alone or feeling lonely. It's a natural feeling and there's nothing wrong with it (except that it feels poopy).

It's only as lonely as you want it to be...

Well I have done plenty of solo travel and I am mos def sick of certain aspects. I used to be able to hang out by myself all day and check out a city and have a blast without ever talking to anybody else. I dont know if it has something to do with getting older or what, but being alone just isnt all that cool anymore.

But if you are travelling then you are in luck. Hostels are the best places to meet all sorts of cool people from around the world. And if you cant find someone to hang out with at the hostel then there is allways bar hopping. Both are excellent ways to meet new people. Just sit down inbetween some random folks at a pub and strike up a conversation about anything, I have rarely had this result in anything but new freinds. I also agree with SpiceyMel about just listening to people and asking questions, its the quickest way to win someone over.

Think it is all down to the individual. If you are friendly and outgoing you won't have a problem hooking up with people - otherwise you will quickly learn to be friendly and outgoing.

Solo travel makes even the shyist of people come out of their shell. Great confidence builder as well.

I have travelled in a group, with a girlfriend, with two male friends and on my own.

Based on what you might know about me I will leave it to you to decide which way I prefer to travel.