BootsnAll Travel Community

Ah, the chicken bus...

For the benefit of those yet to travel by Chicken bus, allow me to set the scene. These machines start their life as a US school bus and, after the North American shelf life has expired, gain a whole new lease of life south of the border. Possibly the ultimate in recycling, these veteran workhorses - that would have been put out to graze long ago - are now loyal servants to umpteen million Latin Americans. It just goes to show that there's still life in the old dogs yet.

After arrival in the land of machetes and banana palms the vehicles undergo a complete facelift. Out with the old and in with the new, the well known yellow exterior soon becomes history when the former ugly duckling finally emerges as a chrome fronted, hand painted, religious billboard on wheels. It's like MTV's 'Pimp My Ride' on LSD laced steroids.

Excessive chrome, pious stickers, and garish paint schemes are definitely the new yellow and black. And that's just the outside. The interior also undergoes the same radical transformation. Once inside, aesthetics take a back seat among the sacks of rice and beans and functionality now dictates design. Fore and aft spacing between seats remains unchanged, meaning leg space is still barely sufficient for small American children, but on one side the bench seats are replaced with slightly longer versions that now devour half of what used to be the aisle. Although still possible to negotiate this central walkway, now the width of Sellotape, it does pose the odd problem for ungainly westerners wielding 20 Kilos of badly packed rucksack. Having boarded the bus, swift passage must be made to secure an empty seat, as they don't stay empty for long. Unfortunately, quick manoeuvres plus small spaces equals skinned knees. You may not know this, but customised Chicken Bus seats remove more kneecaps in a single day than the IRA do in a full year. Bulkhead and ceiling spaces at the front of the bus don't stay empty for long either. Empty space means room for stickers, and Chicken Bus Jockeys simply love these things. In general, stickers consist of religious messages interspersed with Real Madrid and Barcelona FC Logos. God is the Light, Beckham is God, Jesus Loves Me, and I Love Him, too.

As for the rest of the décor, simply throw in two overhead luggage racks to accommodate cardboard boxes containing shopping and the odd armadillo, a TV in a welded cage (usually rendered defunct after the first man-sized pothole), 25 hefty speakers that wouldn't look out of place at a Steppenwolf concert, and a head-shattering air horn powerful enough to strip tooth enamel, and you have yourself one bad-ass Chicken Bus. But it's the guys running the show that really impressed me. Not only the fearless driver, but also his mate - the Chicken Bus Jockey. With the tenacity of an Everest Double Glazing salesman and the physical prowess of a world class 400 meter runner fitted as standard, these chaps are a breed apart. I remember one in particular that had a dangerous habit of squeezing his way down the bus to collect fares, he would then exit the back of the bus when it slowed to an easy rumble, sprint back around as it began to gain pace, and then hurl himself back in through the open door at the front. A routine repeated at least twice hourly. Clearly, this must have proved easier than battling back through a packed bus. On one occasion, however, the driver sped off a little too early, leaving his amigo behind in a swirling cloud of dust and black fumes. Looking backward through small gaps in the sea of armpits and crotches I could see this maniac, in full sprint with arms flailing, hopelessly trying to close the ever growing distance between him and the bus. The look of sheer desperation on his face reminded me of that scene at the end of the Roger Moore movie 'The Wild Geese' where Richard Harris, while being chased by a lot of rather angry natives, tried in vain to catch up with the plane as it accelerated along the runway. In our case, and in a different and altogether less gory ending, passenger intervention saved the day. One chap eventually piped up to signal the loss, forcing Stan Laurel to reluctantly hit the brakes and pick up a wheezing, and somewhat weary, Señor Hardy.

A Chicken Bus journey will almost guarantee entertainment in some form or another, and anxiety and exhilaration in equal measure. Forget Alton Towers and Disneyland for cheap thrills, these machines offer greater kicks for even less. And, after surviving a five hour trip hosting numerous up close and personals with oncoming traffic, you'll believe that Jesus must really love you too.

...and theres more pulp just like this at ubertramp

enjoy!!

nath, this is such a great message.....could i please post it at www.riodulcechisme.com giving you full credit, of course.

You could, but I'm afraid I think this:

quote:

You may not know this, but customised Chicken Bus seats remove more kneecaps in a single day than the IRA do in a full year.

is a little lazy and stereotypical, and while no-one would pretend that life is perfect in NI, it isn't really terribly helpful or imaginative.

I love your description of the chicken buses- each time I make it down to CA, I do at least part of my time on the chicken bus- what a wonderful part of the culture- You don't mention the "Chicken bus jockey"(love that term)jumping out to help an elderly lady on or off the bus, running up the hill to pick up a package etc. Or the street merchants who get on at the larger towns and sell their tamales, ice creams and sodas etc. Then on Sundays you have the joy of the street preachers-selling his wares- sort of like a moving revival meeting. I feel bad for those folks who are too afraid to travel by these colorful conveyances.

What's the longest you've ever spent on chicken buses in one day? I managed almost a full day (daylight hours) from La Libertad, El Salvador to Guatemala City. (That doesn't count the 16 solid hours on an equivalent in Burma - not a US schoolbus, but just as bad.) Never again - my limit for chicken buses now is 3-4 hours, tops.

getting from managua to bluefields, nicaragua is one heck of a chicken bus ride. i did it maybe four years or so ago? it is an overnight ride, and from managua to rama it took us about 12 hours. extremely bumpy and to top it off our bench seat was broken! the part we sat on wasn't properly attached to the seat, so every few minutes (or road bump) the seat would slide forward and we'd have to sit up and readjust. ugh. i have a feeling the guy who sold us our tickets it would be funny to give the gringos the broken bench ... school busses are difficult enough to sleep on but that damn seat made it literally impossible. once we arrived in el rama we needed to wait a few hours until the port opened, then took a cramped 3-hour boat ride to bluefields ... then came the boat ride to little corn island ... sheesh, that was a long couple of days ...

Allow me to post an alternative opinion:

I live in Honduras. Though I have my own car, most of my friends don't and are forced to take the chicken buses from place to place. They hate chicken buses. I hate chicken buses. Everybody I've spoken to, including the drivers of chicken buses, hate the damn chicken buses.

People don't buy 20-year-old beat-up American school buses for the joy of it. They buy them because they're too poor to purchase new ones. They don't paint them garish colors because they're proud of their work or their mode of tranportation. They paint them because it gets more customers. And they don't drive them like bus drivers up north. They drive them like they're drunk of high, which often they are.

If you ever come within a few feet of a head-on collision with a bus; if you've ever seen a guy walking out of an Esso with a bottle of rum in his hand then climb into the driver's seat; if you've ever been close enough to a bus to see the wire, cord, and duct tape holding the undercarriage together; if you've ever seen dead bodies in a pickup truck jammed under a school bus; then you'd think twice before taking those delightful little chicken buses.

Here's some information: Anybody who lives in CA and can afford to not take the chicken bus, doesn't take the chicken bus. Whenever someone who's really poor has a little extra money to ride a better, they don't ride the chicken bus either. When you come through Central America and you feel like having some special "cultural experience," don't ride the damn chicken bus! Spend a little more money and get a coach bus. At the very least, get on the cheap bus through the front door and got a good look at the driver. If he looks drunk, he probably is drunk, and you're better off waiting for the next bus.

On another note, why are wealthy people always romanticising the things poor people are forced to do? Every time I meet another gringo traveler in Central America, they're always saying, "We slept in thatch huts with no fan! It was great! And then we went to a disco that was just an old abandoned house! It was so much fun! And we rode on the chicken buses where we banged our kneecaps a hundred times! I feel like I really got to know the local culture!" Comments like that are usually followed with, "No, I hardly speak any Spanish at all." If you've ever made any of those statements, here's my recommendation: Eating street-vendor food and riding chicken buses might gain you some cred with your fellow backpackers, but to the locals it just makes you look goofy. If you want to experience local culture, learn conversational Spanish and strike up conversations with every local you meet. The Central Americans on the luxury charter buses aren't any more or less "authentic" than the ones on the chicken buses.

Wow, endless-summer. What an opinion you have, and, naturally, as equally valid as my own. Despite the fact that you have jumped to the ridiculous concluson that EVERY person who visits CA is of the stereotype that you depicted, there are other parts of post that I do feel are a little fairer and less presumptuous.

I agree that the main reason that independant drivers and sydicates opt for these particular buses is one of cost - but, if they are maintained, is it not good that these buses stay on the road for longer? Ok, so its not green to belch black fumes into the atmosphere, but one recycled bus is better than one more new build, surely.
As for culture - you can take coaches in many more countries than you can chicken buses, so why not experience them while you can. Whether you like it or not, you cannot disagree that chicken buses are part of the culture in certain central american nations and almost iconic. Fact. Just as Tuk-tuks are to thailand, Becaks are to Indonesia and illegal minicabs are to the UK...

...And to claim that all chicken bus drivers are often drunk or on drugs is a completely absurd, sweeping statement. Its like saying every expat who now lives in honduras is bitter and narrow minded - it would be unfair and almostcompletely unfounded for one to say that. I for one would not get in any vehicle knowing that the driver is the worse for drink or drugs. Its suicide. So if this was true then I figure I would still be somewhere near the mexican border now. Yet to the best of my knowledge I am not....

I also agree that the primary reason to decorate the buses is to drum up business, but noone could put so much effort into 'creating' these masterpieces and not be proud of the finished article, surely.

yes, they can be a bit hairy at times, but thats just part of the thrill. I appreciate that the higher the number of near misses will mean a greater proportion of accidents, but we make are choices and take our chances. I did not see any such accidents during my time in CA, but I can appreciate that the sure do happen. I have been unfortunate enough to witness these kinds of things in other countries, however, as much sorrow as i have for the people and the families involved in the tragedies, they have yet to stop me from using these marginally higher risk forms of transport. I guess these are personal decisions that each and every one of us have to make.

I must cut this short, now. I would love to comment for longer, however I have dreadlocks to comb and an authentic Peruvian Poncho to wash (I'll chuck it in with my fishermans pants).
catch ya later, dude
or Haasta Luaygo, Me Ameego (excuse the poor spelling - I couldn't afford spanish lesson as I spent all my money on cheap dope)

Endless-Summer, I think that was the best post I've ever read on an internet travel board.

Sorry, mate. I guess my reply was a bit harsh. I live on a dirt road that's the only route between La Paz and Lajamani, Honduras. That means I get a lot of beat up old buses driving past my house (about 20 a day). And there's a small gas station 100 yards from my house, and most of the buses stop there for diesel. I've seen a hell of a lot of drunk bus drivers lean on their horn for minutes at a time and then get out shouting at the lady that lives there. I've also seen a lot of bald tires, screaming air brakes, bent axles, and bent frames (have you seen a bus where the tires and the chassis point in different directions?). And I've seen a whole lot of duct tape. So I guess that all makes me a little bitter.

But what's this with saying chicken buses are "part of the culture"? Since when does that make them good? Cockfights are a big part of Central American culture. Are you going to write an article telling us to go watch the cockfights? Prostitution is a big part of the culture, too. Should we go check out the whorehouses, just like many of the chicken-bus-riding locals do? How about drinking all day long? Slapping the single girls on the ass? Slapping your wife? These are all the parts of the culture down here. Why don't we try them out too?

My point is that just because something is "iconic" or "part of the culture" doesn't mean that it's a good thing or even that the locals appreciate it. Sometimes iconic parts of the culture are very bad aspects of the country that the locals wish they could do away with.

I can understand how many people view chicken bus rides as an adventure or an extra-authentic experience. I wouldn't look down on a foriegner who rode chicken buses for fun. I hope you can understand how, as a resident, I've come to hate the run-down, badly maintained and badly driven buses that line Central American streets.

Endless summer,
I appreciate your comments and when I really have to get somewhere fast i do take the coaches but you have to admit that the chicken buses put you in contact with people in a way that coaches don't( you can take that literally or not) I have found that I am much more likely to be able to talk to people on the chicken buses- maybe because there are not the social mores of personal space that exist on coaches and I do enjoy watching the people and how they interact- difficult to do when you are on a coach that drives quickly through the countryside and makes few stops. I see many more interactions amoung people-usually positive and I have found that when I attempt to speak their language, most of the people are very tolerant of mistakes that I make. I can't tell you how many times I have had the pleasure of a baby sleeping in my arms or a young child practicing his English.
That said, you are right, I would hate to rely on chicken buses day in and day out for my primary source of transportation.

Ah-- the "uncomfortable poverty ride- pro and con"

Argument.

Well, there's room for both. In the beginning, one gets romantic about being squished in with everyone, feeling like you're part of the poverty culture for a little bit of time. One tries to seek out simple huts and live a 'peasant life'

After a while, and you've done it enough, you learn what you need from it, that we ARE privileged, and many people simply don't have the same resourcs we do. We travellers are RICH, backpacker or no. We have time, we don't have to slave away to support a family, and we might even have time to learn a foriegn language or two, then get backpacker cred for doing so.

Those of us who vagabond, those who are smart, have a good sum saved up in case they have to go home, or family they can call in a pinch. This is a great thing. It also separates us from the people that must take the chicken bus daily for their daily bread, or to go shopping.

I have lived with people that live a native life. I have been with foriegn craftsman surviving on the jewelry they craft in tourist centers, where they are ALLOWED to peddle. I have lived among people who taught english for a living. They have a life. Some have kids they must support on a marginal existence. It's a living, and I have found myself, over the years, accepting it, and also accepting the fact that I may not want to have that lifestyle.

I think some of us have not lived that lifestyle, and so are genuinely and honestly excited about being crushed among colorful 'natives'. This is a great thing, and it opens minds and hearts tremendously. That, I think, is where this article comes from. One should not be afraid to be crushed among people on an uncomfortable bus, if you need to take that bus, or learn how most locals travel.

I lived in Guatemala for over 6 months, mostly in Panajachel, and have taken my share of chicken buses. I've learned to survive the trip. I've learned where there are alternatives, and taken them.

One such alternative is the direct bus from Antiqua to Pana, costing about 3 times as much as the local buses, but far more comfortable and more importantly, direct. This means you have a good chance for a seat the whole way, instead of standing, or sitting on the edge of a seat next to a married couple, both rather chunky. Then I do THAT.

I also understand Endless Summer's point of view, which is that you take what transport you can get, and if you have a choice, you take a better form. There's nothing super-special about it, except its uncomfortable, and many people take it. Implicit in this view is a fact that I have learned, or perhaps a viewpoint based upon certain experiences:

You will always be a gringo in Mexico and CA, because you were not born there, irregardless of how good your Spanish is, or how low you place your housing and living standards. Wealthy Guatemalans, who are ALSO guatemalans, have cars, houses, tv's, nice clothes, and shop in malls. Really rich ones have private planes, limousines, and even helicopters, go to expensive clubs. It is all part of the same package. In the end, we only have ourselves, and the company we choose to keep. Everything else is exploration and retreat to a comfort zone in a continuous cycle, which eventually gets established, the longer one travels. We change a bit with every cycle, grow and learn. Many times its not the cultures we've come to learn about, but ourselves.

Some of us are geniune cultural explorers, and I applaud them as well. They know who they are, and want to find out as much as possible about other people. That too is a stage.

It's great to feel rich among the poorer, and I too kind of like the feeling, I must admit. I also feel bad I feel good about it, if this makes any sense.

One of the more negative aspects of this is that it is trendy among some people think that the only genuine part of a culture is the poorer one, the one closer to some form of cultural roots that aren't based upon supermarkets, malls, and white collar jobs. Realistically, that isn't why many of us travel. We travel to see the unusual, not the Usual western idea. That too is to be applauded.

I liked the Chicken bus article, and it rang true. I agree that this experience grows old over time, and is more wearing than romantic and exciting after a while.

Heres an addition to the article, a helpful hint, as it were:

When choosing a seat, avoid married couples sitting together. They will invariably try and squeeze you out because they feel it's their right. Ditto for children, unless you want to put one on your lap.

If you find a seat, the window seat can be deadly, espeically when trapped and crushed by said couples and family members.

When you find a seat, and it looks ok, sit together with your travelling partner for more control. That way you know the person you're being crushed against and can converse while crushed. Never fear, all the seats WILL be filled, so you're not making space for yourselves.

When you find your seat, and you're not 6'3(poor you, you know who you are and why you have skinned knees), you can do what the natives do, and wedge your knees into the back of the seat, and if you can, put something in between your legs. Make a nice wedge shape and claim your proper leg space. If you do this, your knees won't be forced together at an awkward angle by someone who will take every inch they can get, and not feel bad at all about it.

They will respect you for standing your ground, and you will have a more comfortable bus ride.

If you take these buses, take as little luggage as possible, and keep your most valuable items on your person, not in any bag. Pack light and low bulk, and you'll get on better, especially at transfer points. I packed heavy and high bulk, and I paid the price!!!

Ah yes, one more thing. Before you pay the man, ask the other people how much it costs, and try and observe. Then give the toll man the exact change, usually a few Q's. There's less questions, and you might not get a pile of worn q's, or worse, be told you'll get your change in 10 minutes. You may not get it, if they 'forget'. Hand them a 20 q note or higher, and this well may happen. Small bills and change are a travellers saving grace sometimes.

Good travelling, all!!!

PS, when the bus starts weaving on the road, and there are bottles of beer next to the driver, he probably IS driving drunk. Close your eyes, and enjoy the ride.

Endless summer - Fair play to you, having to put up with 20 CBs rumbling by your front door each day. I thought for a moment just how my opinion of these buses may change if I were subject to that. And, if I were to be honest, I think it would possibly change my opinion too.
'Fair point from you highlighting that all culture etc isn't necessarily a positive thing - this is very true, and I should have expanded on this in my last post. However, I don't feel that a chickenbus is on the same level as wifebeating, hissing at women, or the regular "featuring :- passed out on a pavement near you on monday morning, the man himself, it's Senor muuuuuuuy Barachooooooo" or other such things.
Good post though, E-S. Its much better to walk away with the fuller, more rounded story for all who stop by and read this. thumbs up!

Tortuga Traveler - sweet post. wise words.

Allthough I mostly rode the Mexican 2nd classers through the country last summer there was more than once that I borded a local chicken bus for local transport. Both arguments presented here are good and Endless Summer, you have some great stereotypical ideas of a lot of backpackers, and sadly hahaa I agree with you.

However, I prefer the hard road because I feel ALIVE! In the USA its mindless numbing effects of everyday. "Watch out for the hole in the sidewalk", "caution wet floor" "road construction ahead" "5 people have died in the past 4 years on this stretch of highway from DUI" (sorry, MADD is quite active here in houston). In the USA life is so guided by the hand that people cannot think for themselves as a whole. Thats the beauty of, metaphorically, the "chickenbus". Its life unaltered, pure, direct in your face and senses. This is how the other 95% of the world lives and yes they probably do not like it. The feeling I get when riding such transport, ducttapped and bailing wire included, is almost indescribable. The more beatup it is THE BETTER! You think they would let that on a road in the USA? No way man, so you better get your thrill of what its like to not be guided by 100000000000 laws and regulations while it still exists.

For me, there are not many other ways to feel alive and to really exist. You are correct, many do it to be "local". I do it to really observe the differences and to cut out the illusionary BS I may carry over with me from the USA.

I enjoy all forms of living and I have many rich friends in Monterrey to keep the scales even. They even balk at my love for the extreamly uncomfortable and often downright stupidly exciting forms of living but to each his own. I guess it all depends on how and why you take these methods of transport that makes it important. I for one will usually always take the cheapest form of transport becaue I can stretch my money to extreams and $5usd a day budgets dont frighten me or make it somewhat less of a vacation. A vacation for me is any moment that Im alive and aware of everything around me, wherever and however that may be. It just so happens that the lower, less wealthy, riskier, uncomfortable forms of life have a bigger interest to me.

KEEP THE CHICKEN BUSSES ROLLIN!!!!!!!

I read this post a couple of days after reading an older, debate about greyhound buses in the US and it jsut occured to me how similar they are....I've never been on either one but I feel like chicken buses are the Central American equivalent of the Greyhound.

From what I gather from most Americans, the Greyhound is a cess pit of weirdos and criminals, yet I bet if it was in any other country Americans would be calling it a unique cultural experience. Then again, maybe not because America is larger and more dangerous (has a higher gun violence rate) than most other countries.

The point is, why do travelers who don't mind riding chicken buses & similarly sketchy modes of transport in developing countries hate and fear the Greyhound? is it really all that worse?

anyway the reason I care so much abt this is because I'm from Singapore & studying in the middle of Ohio & want to travel around the states wihtout having to buy/rent a car. I'm taking my first greyhound to cleveland next week so I guess I'll see it for myself.

greyhounds are not that bad! well kind of hahaha.

CA can be traversed much faster than a greyhound here 'usually'. I dont think Greyhound is bad at all, they just charge a buttload for tickets thats all. If they had the same prices as CA chicken buses or even Mexico autobus lines, then I would ride more.

Plus its never as interesting to see your own country in that form when and if you own a car. Being out of the country somewhere strange, hopping bus to bus, being crazy, thats way more fun!

I agree with Txsurfer - theyre not megabad to travel on, just not really value for money!

quote:

I'm taking my first greyhound to cleveland next week so I guess I'll see it for myself.

Dogspeed.

From some posts I read a while back (I believe they were by Juan3 regarding Guat City) I was under the impression that chicken buses are really not safe and should be avoided at all costs. Is this just in Guat City? I'm not asking if they are "safe" everywhere else, just if they really are to be avoided for fear of driver murders, etc.