BootsnAll Travel Community

More and more folks continue coming through The Spiritual Traveler message boards mentioning they are afflicted by a Quarter Life Crisis.

As these members grow, and the numbers may warrent...I thought there should be an actual peer group for folks who feel that they are in...or going through just such a place.

So please feel free to use this space to introduce yourself...and share your honest feelings with your peers...and remember:

You are all welcome as a member, if this club defines your state...so simply share where your are at, so others can relate!

[Everything that is said here, it is agreed, will stay here...if you agree to these terms, then please proceed].

Moderator:

Hello and welcome! Please share Who You are, and what brought you in here today?

Please share your feelings...for, since we all share the same range of feelings, it is actually easier for us to relate to you when you do!

OK...20 folks have looked in...but no one wants to be the first to answer...so just like in a buffet line... someone needs to prime the pump,to get the darn line moving.

What is a 1/4 life crisis? I've heard the term used by many..so I can only guess?

Is it...you guys were so busy trying to achieve what others wanted you to be, that you forgot to take the time to ask yourself..."What is it that I really want to be?"

Why do you guys call it a crisis? Is it so all encompassing that it affects everything you do?

Is it like you have such a need to know or to find the truth...or to fill a hole or a void...that it burns like a fire inside of you, that it seems, it can't be extinguished?

Well if it is any of these things...this club ought to be a good place to find others in the same boat!

...and sometimes life is just a little bit easier when you know... You are not going through this one alone!

Who wants to step up to the plate...and knock on out of the park?

All right, I'll start this off!

Well, I am no longer in my QLC, but have been recently through it and maybe can shed some light and support others going through it.

Oldhippy, you pretty much got nailed it on the head when it comes to the definition.

My experiences...I started uni at 18 yo, and finished at 24 yo. I paid for 5 years of it on my own by earning scholarships and going into debt, oweing $15k at graduation time, and I worked part and full time throughout uni. I graduated top 15 in the entire Business College (about 1000 or so), Magna Cum Laude. I was recognized by the Dean and the Department head as someone who would succeed in the IT field. I defied the odds and started interviewing for jobs about 1 year before my graduation date.

The department head was surprised, and said I just needed to interview my graduating semester. Out of the 2 companies I interviewed with through school, I got both offers -- 1 from Royal Dutch Shell (only 1 job was offered to my school), and 1 from IBM (2 jobs were offered from my uni...1 in IS (my degree) and 1 in CS..they were only looking for CS or EE majors, but I somehow chatted the guy up at the job fair and got a slot in the interviews). Of both those companies, they interviewed about 8 people each.

I went with the IBM job since it was slightly higher pay than the Shell one, and I would have more potential to move around in the company and change locations.

I still had to finish the rest of uni out. I busted my ass all throughout. I was a determined person...because my parents were pretty poor and I was raised as one of the "have nots", I was determined to be extremely successful and independent. Successful meaning the amount of dollar signs I saw. I knew it was possible, since my sister got out of the dump (although she's the one that got the expensive university education, which helped out tenfold..yes, it does matter where you go to uni as I had learned).

The offer I got from IBM was outstanding. It was one of the best offers coming out of our uni. Cha-ching! On my way to buying a brand new BMW!!! I almost bought a condo in Houston. But..I decided to play it smart (thankfully), and paid my debts off first. I was debt free within 9 months.

At that job, I soon learned how the post-college working world goes, and that college really doesn't prepare you for it. I was doing consulting work for IBM. I was the only team member in Houston (there were a bunch of people in Dallas and a group in Kansas City). I felt really isolated. I tried and tried to get on projects, but my Resource Deployment Manager (manager who's supposed to get me on projects) played favorites with the people from Dallas. I put in quite a bit of time doing research for Project Managers in Houston (not in my dept), hoping for them to hire me on to their projects. But nope. It was bad times...2001 to be exact.

I struggled with the thought of not being successful (I had this grand master plan when I was in Uni - my whole life laid out in front of me). I had been successful at everything else I had done (uni, other jobs), and I knew I was a hard worker. But it was all out of my control.

I was laid off by IBM Global Slavery in April of 2002. Still, bad economic times. I high tailed it to Austin, searched for jobs (I had been searching for jobs the month I knew I was going to be laid off)..I applied for countless positions. It took me 4 months to finally find a position.

I found a position with a small software development company (investment software) doing tech support. I was a perfect fit for the position, since I had experience in investing (I worked as a Market Analyst and technical analysis pattern researcher in my last semester of Uni) and in IT. I figured, this job will suck, but maybe I can just get in to the company and work my way into the Database area (already had some Oracle, SQL, and Java experience, and RDBMS experience).

This job...sucked the life out of me for almost 2 years. I did the most amount of work, the highest quality of work, and yet got nothing...I got raises that were "across the board" as if I were a mediocre person, like my coworker who never did work, disappeared from his desk for hours, and would show up late every day..sometimes a few hours late. I was so pissed, depressed, frustrated. I confronted my boss multiple times only to find I was hitting a brick wall since she does not like to confront people. The only thing that got me through those 2 yrs, was taking classes in something I enjoy...Working full time and going to school is a difficult thing, but I found so much solace in my coursework (jewelry fabrication). It gave me something to focus on so intensely that I would drown out the stresses of my job. It was an awesome outlet.

Finally, a position opened up in the Database department, so I went straight for it. I was offered the job...but then I told them I would only do it for $X. The HR manager laughed in my face. And that was the end of it.

I decided in order to get myself out of the rut I had been in for years, I needed to quit. I needed to find a new direction. So I planned about 6 months in advance that I would quit..but I wanted to earn enough money to go on a trip after I quit. I saved up some money and put it in the bank for my "South America fund".

At the end of the semester, my teacher approached me and asked me if I wanted a jewelry job. I said, heck yeah! He said, it doesn't pay much, and it might be boring. I said, I don't care. Anything is better than my current job. So I took the risk. I interviewed for the jewelry job (while still working at the software company). I got the job on the spot, and also got the okay to start working after coming back from travelling.

Things could not get any better than that!!! Finally, my luck had started to turn around. When the time came, I turned in my 2 weeks notice, nicely told them to shove it by telling them that I was leaving the country a few days after my last day, and that I had a job lined up in a field that I'm interested in, after I came back from my kick ass vacation. It felt nice to brag about it. Finally, some redemption.

Life has been good since. I've learned a lot about myself going through and passing my QLC. I've learned that money isn't everything. I make less now than I did in my college jobs. But I love what I do. The trade off is well worth it. My sanity is back!! I've learned to live cheaper, be wiser, and to recycle creatively. And I have learned to explore a side of me that I had kept surpressed for years (the artistic and creative side) because I was too busy exploring the greedy side of me. I learned to live with less.

The only way I pulled myself out of my QLC was to put it in my own hands. Change my own destiny, and not be stuck in a position that I did not want to be in. Change my life...and you, who are going through your QLC, can do the same.

ok, i'll bite.

i'm starting to have doubts as to whether or not my particular course of academia is really for me. four years ago, i would have said 'i'm doing biology/premed so i can get into med school, be a doctor, and make lots of money.' two years ago, something happened and i realized that it's not about money (at least, it shouldn't be). so i would have said 'i'm doing biology/premed so i can go to med school, be a doctor, and volunteer with some NGO somewhere or work with cancer or AIDS/HIV.' now though, i'm probably going to say 'i'm doing biology because i'm only three quarters from finishing it.'

if you're faced with two choices, one that you feel you should and want to do, and the other that you want to do (no 'should'/moral obligation), which one would you choose? i chose the one i should, and want to do: humanitarian work. but there's that nagging voice in the back of my head that makes me wonder about pursuing music (more specifically, producing). are they mutually exclusive? what if it isn't? how would it not be mutually exclusive?

yes, i'm in a rush to make up my mind. the desire to get the hell out of seattle is turning more and more into an obsession with each passing day (no offense to you seattleites!). at times, it's the only thing that keeps me going to school and work (so that i can finish faster, and work more hours to save up more money).

i'm starting to freak out because i just applied for graduation. what the hell am i going to do after that? can't stay here, but don't know where to go next. and even if i do know, is it what i really want?

well there goes my little whine-a-thon. there's more to it, but my friend's about to take me out to dinner to cheer me up now.

i just have to add this real quick. marisa, i read your post after i posted mines!

i also believe that if you want change, you have to make it happen. like i told my friend the other day, fate is just an excuse for not doing anything about the issue at hand. which is why it's starting to worry me even more, because i honestly don't know what i want to do. i only know what i don't want (which is to stay in seattle).

marisa, you also menitoned that it does matter what uni you go to. yeah, before i didn't care what school i went to - i was happy that i could make use of the direct transfer agreement and go from my community college to the UW. but so many of my friends in high school are off at IV league schools.. it never really bothered me until now. and the only reason it's bothering me is because i'm wondering if i'm simply just not cut out for it. hmm.

My turn! My turn!!!

I'll just start this off and say mine won't be nearly as nice and purty as Xoom and Marisa, but, that's because they are super smarty pants! I'm going to express myself the best I can, and I hope it helps someone

I'll start mine off back in the stone ages, when I was in high school.

Like many others, I did not come from the bestest of backgrounds. I never went without food, or clothes, but I did go without strong emotional support and a stable background. I was shuffled around quite a bit during the high school years, and started picking up some bad habits from my parennts. I was also desiring stability in my life, since that had always been lacking.

Comes time to graduate, and I'm off to go to the Art Institute of Atlanta for the audio engineering program. I had played the guitar on and off, but had been told over and over again that I needed security, so a job "behind the scenes" would be better.

I was working, going to school, driving a fucking 79 Pinto (snicker snicker :P)and getting deeper and deeper into depression. I was still shuffling around every few months, got kicked out of both parents house for silly reasons, and ended up having to drop out of school because I couldn't afford it.

Off to live with the grandmother for a couple of years. Things were going so so there. I was just listening to as much music as I could, and figuring out my next move in life. She was getting ready to move back to her hometown, and the Army recruiters kept calling...so, I decided it'd be best for both of us if I joined the Army (I'd get 30K for school so I could go back, etc and so on)

I joined the Army in 95 and left in 99. A very tough 4 years for me. I was away from home, living a lifestyle I couldn't stand (and being an anti-war person didn't help!) and just wanted to get out. I stuck it out though so I could get the college money.

Fast forward to 99..I start doing interviews a few months before my contract is up. I land a job! Shipped off to Memphis, TN to work for Nielsen TV ratings. Not a terrible job, but semi interesting. But I felt like something was missing, but I wasn't sure what it was.

So, I decide to start using the GI bill money, and enroll in classes at the community college (Jan 97). I decide to get the general education classes out of the way so I could spend some time figuring out what I wanted to major in (at the time I was leaning torwards counseling, education, and political sciene)

I really enjoyed school, and learning! I was still narrowing down my career plans, and kept falling back into the same grooves. About this time, I also began doing a lot of thinking about what was going on in my life, and, through a lot of reading and talking to others, finally overcame my long term depression.

When that happened, I was so happy to feel "normal" that I didn't even bother to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I just knew it would invovle school, so I kept taking classes and saving money.

Then I felt something lacking still, so I applied to get transferred to the SF Bay area (Sept 03). I was hooked. I was on a project, so I was living in corporate housing, and had almost all bills taken care of. To everyone around me, I was living a great life. But, I still felt something was missing, and I couldn't figure it out.

I decided about halfway through that I was going to quit after the project was up, and was going to move to SoCal and start working on a music career with my friend. I felt damn good about it, and was ready to get it done.

Then, I had a MAJOR attack of doubt. I had a change of plans. Music just wasn't a reasonable career option. I started reading some career books, and figuring out what I wanted to do with my life (again!). I came down to the same basic choices I had before (counseling, etc).

So, I then decided that I would go back to school full time and live off of savings. But hell, then I came across BnA, and decided to travel a bit before settling down into a routine (I quit my job Dec 17, and left for Oz Jan 4)

After getting to Oz, I started having doubts again, and wondering what the hell I was doing. But then something just clicked. I started reading more and more, and, for the first time, following through! It felt great.

And then the craziest of all things happened. After turning 30, and living in Oz for a few months, I came to the conclusion that I MUST do music (performing) for a living, and there's nothing I can do about it. I had been trying to run from it for 15 years, but it finally caught up to me.

So, now instead of being scared, I'm preparing. I've also discovered that there wil be times when I'll be scared to death, and that I'll make some mistakes. But that doesn't matter anymore. What matters is that I'm going to be doing what I love, no matter how long it takes to succeed.

I'm now in the process of planning the business side of things, and I'm writing the music for my first CD. I plan on releasing it in Jan, and I'm working on a 5 year business plan to keep me focused. I'm finally finished with my quarter/third/whatever life crisis, and it feels DAMN GOOD!

So people, the moral of the story is this...do what you truly love in life. I think a lot of the crisis we put ourselves through comes because we are doing things we hate because we think we have to. We think of options instead of possibilities. So please, figure out what you want to do in life, and never forget it!

I may regret this in the morning

Well, at this moment, hopefully, I'm at the end of my own QLC. I, like xoom, was a premed student in college. All I wanted was to be a doctor and I did everything that was in my reach to accomplish that. I volunteered at an ER for two years, I did research which I presented and published. I had a well rounded education as an art major and Sociology minor in addition to taking science courses above and beyond the medical requirements. I also completed the Medical Education Development Program at UNC which has a great reputation for turning out future medical students. I had the confidence of all my professors and advisors and after three medical school interviews, I was just so sure that I would get an acceptence somewhere. I was so passionate about being a doctor. It just felt so right for me.

Then, in my graduating year (all of this took me 5 yrs) things began to unravel. I was one class and my senior exhibition away from my art degree, but I just couldn't make the grade. I kept getting turned down for my B.A. show, and even after spending my entire winter break alone in the studio, I was turned down again on the first day of my final semester. So my crisis begins. I was approved for a minor and not a major. Since I couldn't dedicate myself to my craft due to my premedical obligations, the faculty felt I was still a semester or so away from "BA quality" work. I couldn't take more time b/c I was waiting to get into med school. I had to graduate. So, miraculously, I ditched my old schedule, changed my major and took the 22hrs I needed to graduate with a Soc major. After a semester of hell, I graduated cum laude with distinction in sociology, but I hadn't been accepted into med school.

I did't know what to do with myself and I felt completely let down by the academic system. After not getting into med school, I was completely unprepared for a job in the health care field. My saving grace was my boyfriend, who has stayed in the States with me instead of returning to his native NZ. He has been very supportive in my pursuit of a job in health care, which is quite hard to land land without certification and yrs of experience. After moving to Chapel Hill in search of a job, I'm finally working as a medical assistant. It took me 8 mo. and countless failed attempts to land a job, but I'm finally on the right track.

The hardest part for me was that I had really committed my life, heart, and soul to a goal for the first time and I failed. Then I struggled for nearly a year to find meaningful work that put me in the health care field. I think that is a common thread for people experiencing a QLC. We experience those first failures, disappointments, etc that really cut us to the bone, and nothing in college, or life in general up to that point, prepares you for that. We sruggle for independence and stability, but that doesn't come as smoothly as we may have been lead to believe.

Now, I'm regaining my confidence, and my sanity, and have aquired a completely new perspective on life. I'm moving to New Zealand in January and I'm just so much happier than before. I've really come to believe that you can't presume to predict what will truly satisfy you in life. Sometimes you have to just let life happen and hold on to those moments and opportunities that finally fit. Whew, that was theraputic!

kyretech writes...

quote:

Whew, that was theraputic!

Venting is getting your problems out where you can deal with them.

kyretech's quote sums up why this thread was created.

feel free to interact with those who already posted...or add you own post...for: to free the mind...is to free the spirit!

Oldhippy, first off, as to your question of whether this is just an age-old thing, or a new generational thing, I think it's a combo of both. It's just my own personal theory (w/ nothing to back it up!!) that it's happening a lot more frequently now, because we're in such a fast-paced culture, and also everything is so technologically driven nowadays; I really really feel like a lot of people are becoming unhappy *because* of all of the material crap, and because of all of the computers, and cell phones, and crap, and we're just losing the human element to a lot of interactions, and frankly, so many jobs nowadays are so sterile and computer-based, which is a recent generational thing, so I kind of wonder if it's the whole culture/work thing and where all of it's heading that's causing so much quarter-life crisis among us people.

Anyway, my story. Very general summary of growing up - I was quiet, frightened, extremely sensitive, and not mean in the slightest, and smart; I didn't have much of a social awareness growing up, and I was also the 'odd' girl; meaning, I always felt rather displaced from everyone else, and 'different'; more mature than my age, and having dorky interests - i.e. the bird thing. So I was really rather embarrassed growing up, because obviously the stuff I really liked wasn't 'cool.' So I was quiet, blah blah. Had a 4.0 gpa in high school, was valedictorian (was one of 18, actually; my school had lots of smart kids). Pretty decent test scores. I don't know if it was general insecurities, or not growing up with a family who was warm and emotional, but I didn't know what to major in, so I started out in engineering, since, you know, if you're good at math and science, that's the practical field to go into.

I went to the University of Illinois, and discovered within the first 1.5 years that I hated engineering, so I switched into Ecology, Ethology, and Evolution. Decided to get a degree in that, since it had the whole naturalist/environmental thing going for it. But another thing was going on in college; the whole college thing was basically what I was supposed to do, and I really had absolutely no conception of the 'real world,' or what kind of job I would come across once I was done w/ college. I think it's one of those deals, where as a kid you just do the school thing, then go to college, and no one knows what comes after that; the first 21 years are 'easy' in that sense, because you don't even have a conception of what is beyond, and it doesn't matter at the time anyway. You just have all of these short-term things to achieve; graduate from this, do that, get the degree...then......
???

Another thing going on in college was that since I had a somewhat sad/loner youth experience, I put it into my head to basically deny who I was, because I didn't like who I was, because growing up, my likes were geeky, and I was embarrassed. So I basically 'forgot' about the bird/environmental thing in college, and denied that aspect of myself. I wanted to be someone different. I partied a lot, would never have told anyone about the birding (except a few of my good friends), was drunk much of my sophomore year, joined a sorority, basically pretended to be someone I wasn't. Don't get me wrong, college was one of the best periods of my life, because it was so much FUN. College wasn't the classwork for me, it was the social aspects. I could care less about the classes; they were just what I was 'supposed' to do, so I got decent grades (3.5 gpa), and got the degree.

Graduated in 2000. No job right out of college . Lived at home for 3 weeks, then ran off to Utah to volunteer for 4.5 months at Arches National Park. That was an incredible experience, and I loved being outside. Then came back to Minnesota. Then started looking for jobs in the real world, and was in for a rude awakening. Couldn't find anything environmental-related that didn't require a masters or 5 yrs experience, etc, so I got sucked into a crap job at a rental car place. Lord help me. :-) I got the job through a headhunting agency, and knew 2 days into it that they'd really sold me a bunch of crap in the interview, but 'couldn't' quit before 3 months, because I didn't want to pay the $2,000 headhunting fee out of my own pocket. So I stuck out the most ego-defeating job ever, for 3 months. 2 months into it, I was so depressed and panicky that I decided to apply for a Biostatistics grad program on a whim; once the job was over, I did some temp work, took a class at U of MN, and was getting set to go back to school that fall of 2001; before that happened, I started to freak out...I think I realized the grad thing at that time was an act of desperation, because really, there wasn't a good reason to go into biostats, other than that it could offer a guaranteed job out of the program. But did I really want that job? No.

So, I had a few good jobs after that. Internship for 6 months ($10/hr, yeah, baby!
:-), a short-term program coordinator position at a watershed district for 5 months, then it was almost 2003, right when unemployment was really high, and jobs were scarce. After the watershed district, I temped for a few more months, then realized the environmental jobs were just not there; or, I was competing with 100+ people who would apply for each job. So, I gave up, because I was tired of hopping from one job to the next, and being totally stressed about money. I took on a shit job with my current company, then 'moved up' because I passed the dumbass series 6 exam (I hate this shit), so now I can live comfortably, and have the stability that I didn't have for the first 2-3 yrs out of college.

The cost has been that after 1 year at the financial company I was SO unhappy. Then since last spring, it's been downhill. I started getting that 'trapped' feeling, and felt totally trapped in my job, and that there was no way out. I could see no way out. Last fall I got a career book (suggested by Mr. Chris D, by the way :-), and worked through it. It got the juices flowing, but I was still unable at that point to pinpoint something. Also, I was in a relationship from last August til the very first day of February this year, so the relationship kept the personal stuff at bay -- meaning, I had enough 'distraction' so I wasn't completely fixating on my own life, or lack thereof.

So when we just broke up a few months ago, all of it came back, full force. Had to take care of things, FAST. My entire life was the complete focal point again, and it was all just me again. So the past 2 months have been lots of growth, and thinking, and really rediscovering things again. I'm at a point, finally, where I'm needing to embrace who I really am, and just jump out into the unknown. So I'm really pursuing the graduate school thing now, for real this time, because I'm actually ready for it, and know it would benefit me in the longterm; just following what I really love, which is birds (which I knew I loved when I was 10, so it's funny how I've come back full circle to it, and it's taken me about 15 years).

I think the quarter-life crisis comes about because everything is 'easy' and planned out through college, for many of us, and none of us really know what it's like once we're out, and none of us really have a good idea of the job situation, and the whole work thing, and I think for a lot of people, at 25, it suddenly hits us that this is for real, and we at that time realize that we're getting older, that now's the time to really take a good look at our life and really assess who we are, and what we want the next 50 years (or whatever) to bring. Nothing prepared me for the 'real world,' and at least for me, it was doubly hard because I was running away from myself for quite a while. And for me, I still didn't really know who I was, until the past year or so. Not that I was being fake, rather, I was just suppressing a lot of who I was, or I had lost it somewhere along the way.

Lynn

My quarter-life crisis is just that I don't know what I want to do. I definitely want a job that pays decently or nicely, if not well. My current job will not allow me time off more than 2 days at a time. Of course, officially I am allowed, but it is very strongly discouraged.

I'm good at writing and I like it a lot, but it is waayy too easy for me so I know that I would get bored. Also, writing jobs don't pay. Tech writing jobs pay OK, but I would be surrounded by engineers or programmers who disdain non-tech people. I work with scientists right now (biophysicists and bioinformaticists and geneticists and biologists), and I hate their attitude. I just want to scream: The arts and humanities are valuable too! We deserve respect too! We contribute to society too!
It's frustrating.

So I'm in grad school to do my 3D animation thing, but I'm not very good at it, even though I want to be. The problem is that people who are good at 3D spend 14 hrs/day at a computer. But...I like to do other stuff, too, and I have an s.o. and 2 cats and a house and a job and... I want to do 4 semesters of Independent Study, but I feel like the token 3D prof is hesitant to take me on.

What else do I like to do? Travel, eat, read, criticize our pop culture (music, movies, advertizing, fashion, books, magazines), hike, play in the ocean, drive, garden, play with animals. Is anyone a career counselor? Clearly, none of my interests would facilitate a medium-to-medium-high-paying job. I have thought about being a professor, however. (Yes, I'm one of those cerebral people.) I don't want to be chained to a cubicle my whole life.

I don't think it ever becomes completely clear what we REALLY want, and these crises happen later than 25. I KNOW the things I want, but there seem to be obstacles to getting them. But sometimes in day to day living I doubt myself and think, what is my purpose and even more, what is going to happen to me?

On another note, I realize there are at least two people on this board in Indianapolis. My dad lives there, so the next time I go maybe we can hook up! It'll be nice actually having a social life beyond family when I go. Besides, everything there is done by car so it's a little lonely for me when I'm there, who's used to there always being people around. I digressed, sorry.

But back to this topic, I think certain things don't necessarily get easier or clearer. Like finding out your calling or purpose....it's scary cuz sometimes the only person who really knows is you, and only you can make it happen....no one else will. At least that's what Ive found.

my life ect.

Is it just me, or does everyones quarter life crisis revolve around what they want to do in life (career, etc)?

I didn't realize this was such an issue with so many people.Hell, I have to watch myself because I feel like a born again Christian sometimes because it feels soooo damn good knowing what you want out of life. Of course, things will happen and feelings may change, but I can't stress it enough people, find what you love, and figure out how to get it.

Since this is the Spiritual section, I'll go ahead and say buy this book! It focuses on career, but it is sooo much more than that. It's about balancing your career with your life, etc. Go to a bookstore and browse over it. It's the book I recommended to Lynn, so maybe she could chime in with a second opinion.

And Laura...what obstacles are in the way, and how can you get over, under, or around them?

Please people, don't settle for a life that you don't love!

Hi Guys

I’ll make mine short and sweet.

When I was 17 and faced with the choice of what to do with my life - I was uncertain- at that age it was understandable.

I like history so I started studying Archaeology – after one and a half years of being broke – I realised that the likelihood of me finding work as an archaeologist was very limited and if I did it would be in a laboratory sifting rocks. That was something that I didn’t want so I put my studies on hold and went out into the real world.

I tried my hand at everything, I met a lot of people and there was only a one or two people that were truly happy with what they do so I came to the conclusion that no-one is really happy but we all have to work so make it your friend and earn as much as possible. Money is the end result so earn as much as possible.

After being in sales for some time I wanted to increase my earning potential and I went back to school and studied business – marketing. Once I finished I worked and saved for a short time and headed over to UK (I’m originally from Oz) to make my fortune. I worked hard and other aspects of my life suffered – my health and friends/family life.

I was trying to increase my efficiency just recently and I borrowed a book about motivation – a holistic approach – and it told me to list my life dreams and goals. I realised everything is out of sync. If I don’t change I will be wasting my life.

I am in the process of realising what I would like to do to be satisfied and to be happy.

I have realised what I want out of live is not a high salary and putting in 60+ hours at the office each week. I can achieve what I want on a lot less financially and the importance for me is to maintain good relations with my family and friends and to have quality of life.

I will have a read of that book, thanks Chris.

For those of us who struggled to find work out of college, do you think the system failed you? Sociologists, and economists I guess, here in the US suggest that this QL generation will be the first in about a century or more not expected to become more successful (financially and materially of course) than their parents.

Now,I pondered this ALOT when I couldn't find a job out of college, and perhaps the work force and some college curriculum are beginning to move out of sync. I'm concerned, especially at smaller colleges, that despite a great education that teaches a student to think critically and become lifelong learners, a few critical and basic skills in navigating the job market are being left out. Any thoughts?

I took a short course in business and that course had a section devoted to the job market and an individual’s success within it. It was a valuable source of practical day-to-day knowledge.

This course also went into dealing with stress and pressure - something that is vital in today’s business world.

These were skills that were never shared during my high school or university education.

We are doing a great disservice to the future by not imparting information involving practical life skills.

Laura M: anytime you're in town, just PM me! We'll get our group together (me, Justine, Becks, tunk, and possibly Marlise) for a welcome gathering. We'd love to have you!

We're getting together for dinner tonight with Helga the Viking, so hopefully she'll give us a good report card!

Hi All-

I can sympathize a lot with what several of you wrote, and felt I'd be doing a disservice by not contributing my own little story.

I started out in a similar boat as Eowyn-I was a pretty quiet kid (and still am pretty quiet), but always really good with the whole math/science thing. Didn't feel a "true" calling when I left high school, so just followed everybody else's advice and got a degree in engineering.
Man, what a crappy major. Almost everyone I took classes with were the same-bust your ass in school, so you can become a salaryman and rake in the big bucks. Came VERY close to changing my major to Secondary Ed after only one year, but chickened out and stuck with Engineering. I got through school (somehow), graduated just over a year ago, and started job-hunting. Even then, I didn't feel any of the drive and ambition a lot of new graduates seem to have, instead, job-hunting was something I did just b/c I wasn't sure what else to do.

After a month or so, i took a menial job with a local computer company. The pay sucked, my boss was a she-devil, but I had a lot of like-minded, free-spirited co-workers that actually made the job kind of fun. After several months, I quit after a particularly bad dispute with my boss. I was considering going to Japan to do ESL(a co-worker had suggested it, I speak a little Japanese, and what the hell I had nothing to stay here for), and then got offered my current job (software engineer).

It's not bad work, I do have a better boss, but am still wondering if I really want to make a career of this. I'm really bothered how everyone I work with is so obsessed with their jobs, they don't seem to pursue other interests. Whenever I bring up my interests (politics, history, etc), they just roll their eyes and start talking about work. I've just given up and don't say anything at all to anyone now. The other software guy told me he hasn't taken more than a couple days off in two YEARS-that's nuts! It's just like college, everybody wants to run around in the Rat Race, never taking time to enjoy life. I just don't want to end up like that.

I guess that's my crisis-i don't know what to do with my life, just that i want to enjoy it. Sorry if this sounds like a pointless rant, but it feels good to say it all. At least from the posts I'm seeing, I'm not the only one who feels this way.