BootsnAll Travel Community

I either go with the gut feeling, flip a coin, or try to put it in perspective with regards to the road of life that I still have before me.

Among the maxims on Lord Naoshige's wall, there was this one: "Matters of great concern should be treated lightly." Master Ittei commented, "Matters of small concern should be treated seriously."

THank goodness there are others out there like me!! I was begining to think I was the only one who thought too far ahead and worried about all possible outcomes of a decision.

When I was younger I had no trouble making decisions. I guess I felt at the time that if anything went wrong I was wrong enough to turn it around. But the older I have become, the more pressure I have felt that certain decisions will effect my future options. Especially when it comes to travel - do I save money for a house deposit or to go travelling? If I travel what will happen to my job security and will I be behind the 8 ball when I get back? Will house prices be out of my reach? But if I buy a house am I putting off an amazing life experience that could change my whole future? TOO MANY WHAT IFS?!!?

I think the biggest problem with these big decisions is that I cant make an immediate decision - either way I will be saving for over a year, which gives me 365+ days to change my mind!

But like I have read from many others, once you have made you final lock in decision, everything falls into place and you know its the right one.... you just have to have faith in yourself.

M

Not to worry about it.

E.

I just read a great book about the overwhelming amount of choice in western society today and how it paralyzes us with a fear of making the wrong choice. It's called The Paradox of Choice by Barry Schwartz. It's really changed the way I think about decision making. And it taught me that I need to engage in more downward counterfactual thinking. Whip that phrase out at your next party!

I can make good decisions but worry dreadfully, weighing up all outcomes, fretting needlessly until you realise that worry is time spent on something that might never happen. During travelling, if I made a bad decision, usually the worst outcome would be that I never ended up where I wanted to be and, on occasion, that has been a good thing. I worry less about bad decisions now.

elv

There was really one solid thing that I gained from going to graduate school for Social Work (well, this and a good amount of debt!!). It is a conversation tool that I use on myself and others when faced with a problem and a decision that needs to be made. It is fairly simple, but the secret is that it is action oriented and not dwelling on the problem. It is called the Magic Wand Principle.

When there is a problem, first I ask, what exactly is my issue. By defining it in tangible and clear terms, it is easier for me to make a decision to solve it. Then, I say, "If I waved a magic wand when you went to bed at night and when you woke up the problem had dissappeared, what would it look like? What would it feel like?" Then using that visualization, you have a goal to work towards. It becomes easier to make a plan of action to get to that goal. I will then create a program of smaller steps to get to that final goal. Again, this system is nothing huge, but by breaking it down and visualizing, it has helped me make some really positive decisions. It also helps others work through their own issues. IT really works!

Now that I have shared this, will anyone help me pay off my grad school debt?