BootsnAll Travel Community

I tend to think this forum is very positive! Its easy to not say anything to anyone about anything when everything is going well. Its when life gets a bit difficult that we reach out to others that we think may be able to help us, so the number of posts dealing with that will certainly be quite plentiful.

Even when you think of others truly compassionately, you are thinking of them as "self" and 'technically' are acting out of "selfishness." interesting concept...

we all need to help ourselves in various fashions. it always involves self-absorption.

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If I look at the people I work with I cannot help but think that some of you do not know how good you have it.

This compassionate view only works when you're looking downwards from your position, but by that same token, the conclusion would be that one should never be dissatisfied with one's luck of the draw - that means everyone, from the richest man to the poorest child...because, there's always someone worse off. Anyone who complains is being self absorbed?... I dare say not.

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Originally posted by Oddearring:
.....I appreciate all the honesty, baring of your souls etc etc but don't you all think you are just a mite self absorbed? Have any of you thought about how fortunate you are? You all have been to college, had the opportunity to make choices in you life, be they good or bad. Do you have any idea how many people there are in the world who do not have that? No choices, no education, and in some cases not even something as simple as food. If I look at the people I work with I cannot help but think that some of you do not know how good you have it.

So many threads on these boards deal with depression, life crises, homesickness, and other negativer aspects of life. How about something a bit more positive?

It is easier to get all sober up and look at reality straight in the eye when the going gets tough. Whereas when we have all the creature comfort we need we often take it for granted, and stop seeing the truth.

Something that has helped me when I'm down and struggling is to realize that I'm taking part in the suffering of the world (not just me alone), and to maybe ask to take on even more as long as I'm at this moment feeling the pain, so that if I can make it through, I will have helped lessen the sufferings of others who are in the same boat.

If we stop to compare who is better off than whom we will never get to the bottom of things, and in the mean time, will have wasted precious time for action.

So, there's the quarter life crisis. There's the mid life crisis. There's certainly the trauma of adolescense. There's the loneliness of old age (this seems fairly unique to America, though.... not every culture ships people off to be abused in nursing homes...)
Is there any part of life that's not a crisis?

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Originally posted by Keppie:
So, there's the quarter life crisis. There's the mid life crisis. There's certainly the trauma of adolescense. There's the loneliness of old age (this seems fairly unique to America, though.... not every culture ships people off to be abused in nursing homes...)
Is there any part of life that's not a crisis?

It's either a crisis or it's a game... I feel much better when I play around with the latter notion...

Cheers, (actually, it has been a bit of a hard day today and I am off to meditate!)

Ann-Marie

I've never really known what I wanted to do, so other people just kind of made the choices for me. In highschool as well as in uni. I'm about a year way from a degree in engineering, so I'm going to finish that first, but I still don't know what to do after it. It's not that I really hate engineering, I've just got no feeling about it. Thus my dillema, I'll be 21 with a degree in engineering and, for me, that feels to soon to start working. The only thing I really know what I want to do is trek across the globe, and experience new things. But I get scared thinking about actually doing it. But I'm also scared to wait, my mom has spent a lot of time in hospitals due to illness and it basically ruined her body. I don't want to end up like that.
Life is scary.

Though when reading some of the posts on these forums, and looking at my position in life, I feel an air of infinite possibilities washing over me... perhaps it's just youthful ignorance.

I still have a lot of soul searching to do.

Ps sorry if this is an illogical ramble but I guess I just needed to say some of these things.

My QLC is just beginning. I'm a 24 year old Systems Analyst, soon to be professional vagabonder.

Since childhood I've been taught that the most important thing in life is to get a good job, work hard, and make money. Those were my basic principals. When I was growing up my dad was going to college, my mom was taking care of 2 kids, and my parents had to rely on food stamps to feed me and my brother. I know what it is like to go without. I can understand why my parents wanted me to be successful and not have to deal with the same hardships they had. I went to college but couldn't make it because I didn't have the book smarts.

Immediately after college I landed a job as a teller. I began rising the ranks quickly. After six months I was promoted to a customer relations associate in the help center. A year later, I went to the Internet Banking department. I had no college degree but became the webmaster for a 3 billion dollar organization by promoting my knowledge, skills, determination, and 'can-do' attitude to every level of management. Two years later I was offered a position as a Systems Analyst. I am now in charge of all the applications that connect to the companies mainframe.

I have been with the same company for over five years and make more than either of my parents because of that drive to succeed, to make money. I bought a house, a car, a cat, I was living the "American Dream". The funny part is, all that money has not brought any happiness. I was never taught to strive for happiness so it got left along the way. I spend 9+ hours a day sitting in front of a computer and attending meetings, it is starting to sour me. I can feel the corporate world sucking the life out of me, my determination, dreams, interests, sense of identity, even the ambition that got me where I am. I keep asking myself, is this it? Is this what making money is all about? If there is nothing that I want to purchase, what's the point of having all that money around?

I looked back on what I was doing and came to the conclusion that I hate it. I'm not sure how anyone can go to the same job, day after day, year after year and be happy with their life and what they are doing with their precious time. Life is more important than making money and buying objects. It is about your experiences, relationships, and values. Everyone has to make money somehow, but it should be doing what you want to do, what makes you happy and fulfilled as a person, even if doing that does not make you a lot of money.

For the better part of a year I have been planning my exit. I have been selling the objects I don't need, throwing out all the clutter, stopping any unnecessary spending. April 3rd it will all culminate when I hand in my resignation. I live in an amazing country and I want to experience it while I can. I'm going to head out west and see everything I've always dreamed of seeing with only one specific destination for the entire trip - being at Burning Man at the end of August. After that I plan on flying to India and winging it from there.

Eventually I will have to settle down again, but this time I hope it is with something I will enjoy doing. Something that makes me feel fulfilled as a person. I have no clue what that is yet but I will be sure to let you know once I find it.

Good luck to everyone out there looking for their place in life. Never settle until YOU are happy.

what a nice story, thanks for sharing

April 3rd is my birthday, and I shall enjoy it that little bit more knowing what I now know about you. Sounds like you have everything you need to be happy, including some perspective, except maybe a direction of your own. Sounds like a good way to find it to me. Good luck, and keep in touch

No one's added to this forum in a couple of years, but I just found it and read it and find it oddly comforting to find so many others out there who fear the same things I fear and want to find a bigger purpose in life.
I've been off-handedly using the phrase quarter life crisis to describe how i feel sometimes for awhile now. Its been getting better lately, ever since I realized that I needed to take a leap and go travel to different countries. I've been to Europe several times, and I love being a tourist there. But this time I'm seeking something totally different.
I'm amazed by some of the stories on here about people having the "american dream" - house, job, car, picket white fence and how they found the strength to completely turn their lives around. I on the other hand have always known deep down that those things mean nothing to me and won't bring me the type of happiness I'm looking for. The problem was I didn't know what WOULD bring that happiness. So I live in SF and work at a non-profit. I can't stand the corporate world. I'm happy but just not excited. Its hard to explain that to friends who focus so much on money and work all the time, neglecting the balance in their lives and convincing themselves that the "fun" will come later as long as they put their time in now. I'm sorry, but I agree with the quote I once heard that putting off pursuing your passion in life is like putting off having sex until you're retired.
So I'm looking for a long-term travel experience before the reality and responsibilities of adult-hood settle in.

I've chosen to make my first post here instead of the main "introduce yourself" thread because this thread makes me feel belong more.
I've always directed my life in the most easy or successful direction. Even at a young age my parents, who wanted the best for me, gave me a computer because they knew it was the future. I've always been involved with computers in some way. I've studied one of the hardest scientific/mathematical courses at school and after that I studied IT because it was both a guaranteed success for me and there were alot of job oppertunities in that sector. I have now been working 2 years as System Administrator at a local bank and I feel that I haven't lived the first quarter of my life.
The highlights of my life have been when I was abroad in nature or amongst other cultures, these times have always been so very limited that I feel confined by my normal way of life with these vacations as penitentiary leave. I feel like i cannot explore myself unless I explore the world I live in. Find my place in the world you know? How can you find your place in the world if you haven't even seen the world?

I am the queen of the quarterlife crisis. And do you want to know the worst part? Read my posting history. I was never supposed to let it happen to myself! I fell into the trap.

I was living out in Calgary, AB... livin' the dream. $100k in 4 years, Chartered Accountant, upper middle class, SUV... it could have been mine.

Instead, after a year on the job (and two yrs from the designation), I realized I hated my job. I decided I would suffer through it and then find something else. Christmas rolled around, I had to put on a brave face for the family. Busy season hit. I hit rock bottom and I was getting evicted from my apartment so they could turn the junkhole building into condos. I sat in my car sobbing, three weeks away from eviction, unable to find a place and being told I was a bad team member because I had to leave after only two hours of work on a Saturday (after not sleeping Tuesday-Friday and living off energy drinks) to try to find a place.

My Dad told me it was okay to quit. So I did. In a span of three weeks I went from having a job to making the decision to quit to actually physically moving across the continent.

Right now I'm in a buffer job... but I just applied for a permanent posting. And I'm going to put this in the Corporate Wasteland too, because I'm terrified. I don't know what I want to do with my life. I just know I wasn't supposed to have this freak out.