BootsnAll Travel Community

So, its certainly been a while. Hope everyone is doing well! I just recently bought a house and moved to pagosa springs, CO. A wonderful place to pursue my backpacking endeavours. Still have my canaan dog, Sen, along with a new addition, Spartacus. He is likely a doberman/staffordshire mix. 7 months old and 56 lbs! I figured a lot of these writings can be considering juvenile, but that was the state i was in when i wrote them. They are all rather old, and i actually found them when i was looking through my old computers files. None of it is new, or revolutionary, but its told in my voice at the time. That in and of itself may be of assistance to people. Some of it is kind of confusing, cyclical, and some may be considered downright nonsense. Such is life! I was thinking that they are doing absolutely no good just sitting on my computer; why did i even spend the time writing them? Let me explain the format in which they were written. I wrote down initial topics that i wished to discuss, and then expanded upon them at different times. Some of it was written with love, some anger, some peace, and every other emotion that can be conjured up and/or experienced. so, here we go!

Sooner or later in life, we all start asking questions. Why am i here? What is my purpose? the interesting thing is that, no matter how much we want it, those questions can not be answered in the form they were asked (words). Such answers are filled in by those who have conscious choice. Why am i here? Well, i am here to do the things im going to do. My purpose is to live my life. These answers are considered "vague" and unhelpful, but we cant always have it simplified for us. Us... I think i will begin on that term.

Us. It promotes the idea that, although a singular unit, it is made up of "individuals." What is an individual? Really think about that for a while. To be an individual, you must be independent! But, how independent are any of "us?" We must intake food, air, sunlight, and various other stimuli. Without many of these things, we are "dead." Or, a more appropriate way to say it, we are no longer our current forms. And what are our current forms? If i asked where your thinking takes place, you would point to your head. If i asked "where are 'you' in that body," one might be inclined to point to the head once again. This "you," or, "i," complex is one of the hurdles we must overcome. Our thoughts do originate in our brains, as with our emotions. Everything this body experiences is filtered through our brain. "i" is merely the created reality we exist in. We seperate ourselves from that which is around us. We say "this is that!" and "that is this!" with some kind of knowing authority. This organism, we are all part of, is very much like our own bodies on a more macro-cosmic level. Our heart, stomach, and lungs are akin to Bob, Mark, and Meredith on Earth. Each has their respective place (the individual body and its experience), each has their respective function (jobs, accomplishments, hobbies). It is a small example of how intertwined this all truly is. It is all systems within systems, made up of levels. One level is the system of the human body, as was being discussed. Another is the solar system. In the end, every system is contained within another system in a symbiotic relationship. Just as we could not exist in our current state without our heart, the solar system would not exist in its current state without the force of the sun. These are all observations, however, by an obviously limited source. Putting words to it really does limit it, leading one to believe they are the key to understanding. The being beyond words, that which contains the words, is where the "answers" are located. Its simply giving into the experience of life.

we all must have a starting point. This body, this deception of perception (because perception is deception), needs a starting point. This we make real until the infinity is known. At this point, we make a decision. We have our wants, our desires. And then we have the way to get to them. If we "have not," then we must seek to "have." When we want or desire a nail to be driven into a board, it is the best choice to use a hammer. We can use a screwdriver, without issue, but we would face a much larger task. Lightning and water manifests this process physically. It simply always chooses the perceived hammer. We, this body, perceives we choose a screwdriver on occasion. What if you dont know what a screwdriver is? And there is always the chance you dont even identify "screwdriver" with a tool! That is called the learning process. We pick up the screwdriver, and when used, we notice it just isnt working right... This should be easier! At this point! This starting point! We can see we also have another tool.. A hammer was it? Or we can simply continue using the screwdriver, knowing that that other tool looked a lot more appropriate...

Say we grab the hammer, now we are taking control. We look back though, to see if perhaps it really was the right decision, but the answer is quite clear! We drive the nail in quickly and effeciently. We now have the ability to drive in another nail, while;

Say we continue on with the screwdriver. We know we are going to face frustration, but there are different ways to face it. We can realize that we decided for it to be this way, or we can blame anything and everything. we can blame the screwdriver for not working right, we can blame the nail for not being sharp enough, and we can blame the board for just being there in the first place! What this is, is a stagnation of energy (blame). However, if we realize that energy displaced in this way is "wasted," then we start seeing with clarity. This arduous journey has taught us something, we have really had an experience! And lo and behold, the nail is quite nicely driven into the board. All of a sudden, we see the result is the same! Although, we see the person with the hammer has driven in many more nails. We are constantly faced with the decision to keep on with the screwdriver, or choose the hammer, which now truly looks like a better tool for what is trying to be accomplished.

We learned many things with the screwdriver.. How to face adversity, patience, perhaps pride, determination, or even love (to simply be able to experience it), but it is clear what tool we should have used to drive in the nails, in our perception. However, with the same results, and the aforementioned issues with time, we realize somehow, that we were always using a "hammer." We, like water, do not run uphill. We can get caught in pools, or perhaps even back track or whirlpool, but the water, like us, keeps flowing. We receive information and form opinions on it. We judge that the whirpool is not effecient, and simply not doing what the water is trying to accomplish. But, it has its place. And the proof is simply in the fact that it is there. We can learn much there, and there were "better" ways to be water going downstream. But it is there, like the river, and equal in existence. This realization is the so-called "higher self," or "enlightenment." It is here that we can start to see the banks of the river, and then the surrounding forest, and then the surrounding land, and then the surrounding planet, then the surrounding space, and so forth. it is important to understand that "enlightenment" and "higher self" are also whirlpools! Saying "it" is "this," automatically limits "it" from being "that." This is the inherent miscommunication in language. We realize that small river was part of something much much bigger, a veritable "universe!" We, this body, play our part, like fingers on a celestial body. Like streams in the middle of a forest.

I have heard many say to "seekers" (those who perceive a "have not" state), that they are what they seek. through the eyes of seperation; we see that the body, the mind, and the personality, are made of the same substance of everything surrounding it. in this way, you seek what you are. this body may not have "happiness" or "peace," but happiness is you and peace is you. This body goes through many feats, but "you" are everything. that duality, in that, you exist. it is BEYOND the body, and it is the body itself! The body itself has its limitations on what it can perceive. Therefore, we see that through the body, we can not perceive what is beyond it. This also means that anything created BY the body will be under the same limitation. Perception, ive heard, is personal deception! Our personality, our senses, and anything created by the mind is only part of the bigger whole. Through them exclusively, they can not experience what is beyond them. This "ego," "auto-pilot," or "personality" has its place, but they are metaphorical whirlpools in a river. they ARE the river, but they are not the river exclusively!

But what about time? we, as finite beings, have created time, and experience it truly. however, not everything is governed by its laws. Material substance is subject to its scrutiny. What is in this plane will eventually pass into another. A constant ebb and flow of energy. This could be labelled as the breathing of the universe. The biggest limitation on perception of time is simply lifespan. Certain things that experience shorter lifespans experience the length of life as quite possibly the same perceived length of life we have. The life of an average fly, 2 days, seems like nothing to our perception. But, this is only because we live tens of thousands of days. The fly, simply, does not. He doesnt perceive it as short, because that is the length of time all of the other flies are living. Time truly is relative simply because it operates on the basis of perception. How a fly perceives two days will absolutely differ from how a human perceives two days.

language is the current bane of communication. used in unison with other forms of communication, it can be extremely effective. However, we currently live in a state of illusion. thinking that words encompass all that is. it leads to the belief that only things we have experienced are true. If its not a current word, even if it communicates itself effectively, it is shunned. Thats not a real word! But what is the purpose of words? communication. So, if it effectively communicates, isnt that the truest form of the definition? Humans even tend to think in words. How limiting! our thoughts are trampled by this plague. you can never truly describe an experience in words. try making someone truly understand that beautiful sunset you saw in the mediterranean with only words. It is very difficult, impossible even! Even if you could describe the aesthetic qualities, words simply can not convey the sum total of all of the individual experiences that make up that particular event, for that particular person. Even body language, a recognized form of communication even by science, is disregarded for words. Even though the body language will rarely lie, especially with a being that doesnt realize they are transmitting in such a way, it is still rarely used. We receive many types of communication from everything around us at all times. The slight breeze speaks of coolness. the light speaks of illumination. Even a small action of lifting your arm communicates through physics. Friction, air displacement, electrical fields, and momentum communicate between the arm and the air around it. it says something different any time anything changes even the tiniest bit. So, how do we truly communicate? Through our being, how we exist. Words are included in that, but they do not encompass communication entirely.

"right" "wrong"

Right and wrong are things of perception. Every being (system) has its perception of right and wrong, though we ascribe moral qualities to it. The circulatory system knows its right from wrong, when it is right, it is working. When it is "wrong," cardiac arrest can be the result. In the same line of thinking, when a human system is right, it is working ("heaven"). When it is wrong, it can be torture ("hell"). If we perceive something as wrong and still continue to act in that way, there will be consequences for such actions. Even on the personal level, going against that knowledge will have mental, emotional, and eventually physical repercussions. Things need to be balanced out, and since perception is part of that, how we perceive these things will directly affect how they are experienced. On the opposite end, working in unison with the beings around us will result in harmony, and through practice, heaven or enlightenment. There is no connotation to actions. They are in line with everything around them, though we run the risks on this end of the spectrum as well. Things such as pride, arrogance, and obsession can easily accompany such experiences. To experience everything as positive AND negative, or neither, is a path to truth. There is no obsession with running after that happiness (when you see yourself running after it, when is there time to see yourself as with it?), and no justification of actions that work against you, your experience, and other beings around you. Everything will have positive and negative tones, though as humans, we like to see all experiences as one or the other if at all possible. What can be done? take a deep breath, and live it.

"zero" "infinity"
"nothing" "everything"

They are like circles. A very interesting sort too. the 'experience' of infinity is the same 'experience' of zero. Or, the 'feeling' of infinity is the same as the 'feeling' of zero. So, the ideas of them loop to the experience of them and back again. Through our thought, we see them as seperate, but in our experience we see them as the same. Which should we trust? A perception built off of years of bias, prejudice, and illusion or the blinding truth of our experience? This is the basis of advaita-vedanta, yin-yang, middle path, enlightenment (on the basis of rising above karma). Truly, what meaning does "no-thing" have without "every-thing." Language is the main source of this illusion. Up and down are different words, but because they are dependant on each other for definition their individual qualities are meaningless. They both exist, but they are not seperate. So, if in the human perception, that which is most seperate (opposites) are actually one in the same idea, what does that say for everything else? This is the idea that all is "dependantly arising." Meaning for all-things to exist, no thing is every thing. So, if no thing is every thing, then every thing is no thing. Using thought to figure it out will only perpetuate biases. This is something that must be lived, must be experienced to be understood. In other words, no one of us knows "everything." Forming too biased of opinions on thinking a limited experience is "right" in anything is simply deceiving. Even the words i type now might as well be potatoes and VW Bugs. Words and word-derived thought can be used to point, but that is the extent of its light. Like a flashlight, when most "seekers" are looking for the sun.

"enlightenment" "spirituality"

The problem with ideas like "spirituality" and "enlightenment" is that they suggest that there is truly a seperation from "god," "enlightenment." Enlightenment is simply realizing and living as a being. We do it every day, its becoming mindful of all the actions we take. The breaths we decide to take, feel them, the movements we decide to make, feel them, the thoughts we decide to think, feel them. Its all part of the experience, but so many dont search through their own hearts and perceptions enough to find it. Every movement we make, on every level, is done by choice. We have chalked this choice up to an auto-pilot. A conditioning set into place by complacency and blatant programming. We arent aware of most of the actions we decide to take, always searching elsewhere for the peace. Is this not enough of an experience that you should want more? The happiness, the sadness, the anger, the pain, the joy, the excitement, the tears? This is it. There is no seperation from god, because every-thing is god and god is no-thing. There is no "enlightenment" it is simply becoming aware of what is already happening, your very being doing what it is made to do, be! Spirituality lends to the idea that the act of being spiritual is seperated out from everyday life, everyday choices, and everyday action. Spirituality is life, life is spiritual. There is no need to seperate the two, since they are dependantly arising. There is no seperation from god, he is not a being sitting on his throne watching over earth. He is no-thing because he is every-thing. Saying "he" is "this" or "that" leads one to believe he is limited, or can be limited by human perception. That he is "this" means inevitably that he is not "that." Its very human to put definition on things, but when it comes down to it, experiences are more than the sum total of the parts. They build on each other, and there is always an indescribible part of all of them. the idea of god is beyond the mind the human form possesses. Logically, there are more than six billion making up the small system known as earth! To know being is the goal. How many approach being with true love and acceptance? There is no lying in being, you can not lie to yourself, and perhaps that is intimidating. You can no longer make the excuses for the decisions made against yourself and others. You become aware of the responsibility we all have as beings, to be held responsible for all actions taken, as they are by choice. Its a scary thing to be faced with... Things simply are, there is no more hiding. carrying truth in action is a powerful thing. Most will use their time to nay say, or preach some miracle cure-all. I, like many before me, am here to bring clarity. The god that is searched for is like a king without a crown. Without that crown, he has no authority? He is not one thing, he is every-thing, no-thing, and the fact they both exist. Even saying such a thing limits god, we can not understand god through our mind. But as our hearts and lungs experience us, we can experience 'being' as part of "god."

"waves" are part of everyday life, long-term and short-term. Mathematically, a circle plotted out on a graph equals a sine wave. Its the "scientific key to life." Pi exists in infinity, it has no repitition. a small portion of the true complexity of things here.

So many think that being happy all the time equates to being enlightened. But, it doesnt exactly work that way. Being enlightened is realizing the full experience of being human, which includes all of the emotions. Accepting these experiences simply as part of life is a brave and smart thing to do. You will feel them anyway. No, they dont all feel "good," but without those, the good times wouldnt have as much of an impact. Its important not to get obsessed over feeling one way or another. The emotional experience of our lives is a roller coaster. There will be ups and downs, as with everything, and its important to appreciate the spectrum of emotions. The reasons behind the appreciation might differ, but in the end they all are important to how you experience things. When you start feeling your emotions, instead of the other way around (in words, the difference between "i'm angry" and "i feel angry"), you take a step towards being "you."

Well, hello, Sinahptik! Haven't heard from you in a long time. I'm so glad to see you here again. Are you still a forest ranger, or did you change careers when you moved? So why don't you get a BNA blog and put these pithy thoughts up there? Probably you didn't get responses to this because people tend to look for "quickie" posts on the forum, and only somebody like me (long time writer and reader, currently sick and unable to do anything but look at the computer) wants to read a long post. I love visiting your mind. Keep it up!