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Lost in Place
Posted
sept. 10th, 2004--->>>> olympic national rainforest

untitled: (or) hoh river trail)

through my keyholes i see life
soft warmfeet cool green blankets
of moss on ancient elders
scrambling around like big, posh ants
we check as observers instead of as part of, not seperate
as beautiful as that ocean bird
we are on the beach
be quiet and we may seem some elk
listening to the bench talking, sitting on the river
we all, a family search and speak in a larger family , we are not too seperate from
not too different
blessed by a small bird, we are miles away inches from a dining squirrel
my father is suprised by a slider snake
i spot some elk and attempt a sly whistle
to try and get his attention, but hes away
they stare at me to see what i do next
we walk back in silent
rain falling, thinking of past lovers
listening to all that sound, looking at all that green and it makes me sigh
i want to smile and be a wet child again
we spend time together, trying to think of things to say, scared of the wind outside
these days are the only ones, these matter
all days before and after today are not even
all these readings urge me on to do writings

i remember the Utilan day when every bird in the world had occupied one tree
and when in the process of telling everyone about it he searches for some way to connect
i stay lost here, with you me
in the hall of mosses i saw with these peepers beauty none of what i had ever seen before
things, growing on things, on things, on things
how to describe those things which you already know and have seen a thousand times
you have these days been reminded a lot of family
walking through and in, a part of with ma bear and pa bear, a dense Walden
of which before ive never read but have at times of quiet guessed at
please dont yell at me after this song
i need to go smoke a cigarette

these songs and stories remind me of past lovers
actually, everything does,
of time spent with bodies
laughs, plays, played with friends and
the silence of a fire sitting
i think ive lived long enough
ive seen a lot already at 25, now every day more is just a bonus, a little something more,
a treat, i may or may not deserve, i dont know yet
why i have to try to always to more?
i remember kisses in a hammock, drunk rollings
throwin up in bobbing water all
the joys and pains of this life
are what make it so fuckin special

california, st louis, hamburg, fredonia, ithaca,
colorado, new mexico, kansas, other states, europe, africa
countires far and wide time spent
someday im gonna write it all down and
ill start with the time we met
and it will all be a fairy tale from there
i wonder who ill love next, i wonder
what color her hair will be, her name
what letter will it start with, what will
her laugh be like, how will she act when nervous
will she love my grumpy ways,
what, oh i wonder long days and short nights
we will spend talking of dreams and fears
i hope these words enter the right ears, these
pages the right hands, i hope my children
will run, play and love in a world of hope
that the beauty souls i have met will find
the love they deserve, that we all deserve
once we settle our minds and listen to
the breathe of all that
that surrounds us, its all around.




annie dillard: " i cannot cause light; the most i can do is try to put myself in the path of its beam."


love.

jesse carl merkel
 
Posts: 55 | Location: haines, alaska | Registered: 18 November 2004Reply With QuoteEdit or Delete MessageReport This Post
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