BootsnAll Travel Community

Hi Itchy Soles (I love your login name; I noticed it shortly after I joined last month!)

The truth is, I still may be an idiot in many respects, but I will defend my idiocy and my right to be an idiot and speak my idiotic version of the truth until the day I die! Actually, it is very helpful for me to read your description of your reaction to me... I cannot exactly say why in words, but it will help me in communicating in the future, and I appreciate that. It is good to know just how weird I appear. My statements are so incredibly tame compared to how I banty around ideas with other psychics, and within myself, so thank you for your perspective. I highly value a gentle lesson in gentleness.

I believe we are all born with psychic abilities, and most of us, maybe everyone, to one degree or another, turn "off" those abilities for very good reasons when we are (very) young. I turned mine off to a large degree and still am impatient with myself in terms of my levels of awareness. However... anytime you "read between the lines" or read a book and follow images in your mind as you read, you are exercising psychic abilities. Anytime you feel wonderful (this is really your own energy), and then talk to a friend who is having a hard time, and then all of a sudden, feel just like your friend feels, you are experiencing information on a psychic level (empathy). Ideas, inspiration and other sources of information probably emerge in your mind that you might take for granted, and a "psychic" would confirm: "yeah, that is what intuition (or some other ability) is like".

Before I decided to enter my spiritual schooling, I hired an animal communicator to talk to my dog for me. Her story was really interesting. She had accidentally run over and killed her own beloved dog in her garage, and she was so determined to gain the ability to communicate directly with her deceased friend, that she worked and worked and worked on <whatever it took> until she was able to do so! I have always thought that was such an inspirational story and completely free of any weird concepts like spiritual teachers, schools, programs, etc. that can bring up red flags for people (due to the phenomena of gurus and cults).

As the website for my school says, "InVision is founded on the understanding that being psychic and working with energy is a very natural, fun, and human experience." and I tend to forget that even if we at the school view things that way, not everyone does!!! Thus, I forget how weird I am sometimes.

1) Don't you find the same energy with beggars in the United States of wanting someone to save them?

I see the energy as significantly different (to me, and all interpretation is personal). I see a certain group of homeless people or people begging for assistance in the US as more inwardly focused-- the energy seems to be dominated by personal failure and a disengagement from society, culture and people around them. Like, here I am, with every opportunity available to me, and I am such a failure I cannot <fill in the blank>. The degree of self-worthlessness is profound and I cannot really find words for it. There is a hopelessness there. Often, their own spirit has basically given up on their life. It seems very common that they were traumatized in a war (public or private) or have a mental illness-- their choice to live on the streets and beg for help doesn't seem to have any hope for the future, or even hope for assistance, in it. This is what I see in someone born in the USA (born into privilege) and actually on the streets, begging (going through the motions of begging). I saw this same energy in severely handicapped people begging in Antigua. They didn't even open their eyes or look at people walking by. They have all but died, and inspire my respect for the human body to physically keep going despite complete abandonment by any force of hope. So those two groups seem similar to me, but they are not even to the point of seriously asking someone to save them really. I don't think the believe in being saved. I know a homeless man who attends the church where I go and his energy looks just like any other person in general. But he lives in a shelter, is facing alcoholism and other things head-on and has strong faith in himself and something more than himself. He is not a beggar. I enjoy speaking with him and I always learn something when I do.

Now for another group: I am lucky that there is a street corner in Chicago where I often pass by individuals who seem to be latino immigrants selling objects, bottles of water, soccer balls, etc. Sometimes I see US men on a street corner with a sign, wanting to work for food. I am not characterizing these groups as beggars, they are NOT beggars, but their *outward actions* are the same as the people who approach me in latin america. First of all, all of these folks have hope for the future. They are hard workers, they have spunk and courage and independence, and they are all actively engaged in doing something to provide for themselves. But, the energy that they send out to their audience seems very different to me. In the US, immigrants must quickly learn that in this country, we don't tolerate the level of energetic pressure that they grew up with in Mexico and anywhere else. We sometimes have it here, often associated with high pressure sales... that suffocating feeling that many of us despise from certain direct marketing sales, used car sales tactics, etc. That level of energetic pressure is generally met with hostility in the US. It is taken for granted and even enjoyed (by visitors, in small doses) as part of the latino culture when traveling to latin countries! In Chicago, I see the immigrants selling soccer balls as keeping a much bigger distance from the cars, saying much less, not demanding eye contact, basically, offering a higher degree of space and (what to us may feel like) respect to their audience. I am sure they learned this just from living here within our culture. Look at the difference in personal space bubbles on public buses just as an obvious example. When I landed in San Salvador last summer, I watched the ENTIRE plane load of people-- *everyone except me*- squeeze into the aisle all at once, and I thought, "Wow, this is gonna be interesting here...". I don't even know how they could breathe! But they did!

The second difference is more painful, but exacerbates the discrepancy. The "high- pressure sales" are standard strategies within the latino culture, and they interact with each other this way every day. I also see another layer of intensity added when a poor local CA person interacts with an assumed-to-be-rich "American" (or other person from a wealthy country). It is as if the weight of those differences, all of the economic and cultural implications of one "having" and one "not having", become completely personified in those two individual people. Each of us, to one degree, participates in that. So I (for example) become the US, and all that means, and the other person becomes Guatemala, or Mexico, or whereever... and all that means. (Energetically). And those differences seem to be standing right there in all their force in the street trying to negotiate with each other. And all of a sudden, it isn't fun anymore to be who we are. This becomes serious business. This feels like life and death. And panic. And, now, who is responsbile for what? And, hey, the person who views herself as "less than" may become tempted to think: "helping me is NOTHING for you, and I NEED HELP, I am nothing compared to you, I am poor, you are rich". Especially if she is taught from birth that this is the "way of the world" and her only option in life is to sell stuff to those who "have"... And... all of the amazing capacity for both of us in our truth is completely overwhelmed and forgotten. And, because it is normal and culturally acceptable to "exchange" (shall we delicately say), large quantities of energy back and forth within these cultures, I find myself receiving a large and intense serving of this vibe. This is great for positive interactions, oh yeah...(I do so love the latino culture in so many ways!) but in a situation of falsehood and denial of self, painful and limiting for both parties.

I enjoy the energy of the children, actually, the more I think about it. They are more light hearted and more centered, more confident in themselves. They chase me and tease me and I cannot resist them, I *always* buy something from them (thank god they are usually selling inexpensive things that I can give my daughter!), but it isn't as heavy overall. The adults who have more "realistic" views of the world, and more weighty responsbility, are harder for me. There was one young girl with a black eye who was the most desperate of all. She had a huge degree of responsibiliy, clearly was abused and had only the physical and emotional development of a child... that interaction was the heaviest of all. I didn't mind her wanting me to save her. I wanted to save her as well. She is a child, and I am a mother. I look at another adult as equal to me in all the important respects, the interior aspects, and thus, experience more discomfort.

2) Have you ever been in a really rural community and talked with young people who believed that every problem they have would be solved if they could move to Hollywood, Los Angeles, etc? This is not a question about beggars but about people who believe that somewhere there is a mythical place where all their problems will be solved? Don't they project some of the same energy of which you speak?


I am kinda tired now, maybe I am not able to give this question full justice. But I do want to finish this message and move on to some other things on my plate today.... I would say, yes, I suspect we **ALL** have at least one mythical place, not even buried too deeply in our psyches, where the answers lie outside of ourselves. I watched a movie last spring called "Cool Runnings". There is a line in the movie that sent me to bed in tears for a couple of hours. In it, a coach tells an Olympic athlete: "If you are not good enough for yourself without an (Olympic) gold medal, you will never be enough with one". I am no athlete, but I needed to hear that metaphorical message in that moment. Yeah. We all have them, physical escapes, other addictions. Your example makes a lot of sense to me, I suspect a famous, beautiful, successful movie star or rock star could comment at length about the weight their position in our culture carries. I can tell you, where I am right now spiritually, I couldn't handle all that energy and wouldn't want it. For an entire country or world of teens to be saying "I wanna be just like you", no thanks...

I see things in layers. When you get deep enough, it is all verrrryyy simple, and the core issues are the same, are universal. We are all connected in these ways, even if we appear different on the surface. Depending on the spiritual moment, one may be working at a layer of distinction or a layer of unity. In my training, we honor both, with an emphasis on individuality, although with many spiritual traditions, only the underlying unity is honored or considered "spiritual".

3) Is the spiritual poverty any greater or any less in those countries than in the United States?

I hope the last sentences above cover my opinion of this. Someone once said to me, "Everyone is dancing as fast as they can". Everyone is handling just as much spiritual growth as they can handle. Every configuration of human experience offers something, nothing is a mistake or an accident, and no one has it figured out yet. One friend who lived in poverty in rural Guatemala years ago told me, "They live close to the bone there. And because of that, they live close to the spirit as well." I think there is some truth to that, but I suspect that if I don't see the US cultural connection to spirit as easily, that is probably my limited vision, not anything to count on. In fact, aspects of the US culture that support spirit (in my view) include: a respect for individuality, creativity, radical thought, and a freedom to look at one's past with relative honesty and openness. These are not absent elsewhere, but perhaps are more easily accessed in the US... maybe.

What do **you** think?????

Ann-Marie

quote:

But I wonder if much of this comes down to semantics, and the words each of us use to describe a certain idea or concept.

if it deals with words, then it most certainly deals with semantics. we speak with "others" not only to help ourselves, but to help the "other," however words are a -very- limited form of communication that will ALWAYS come down to semantics.

i say "house," you probably think of something different than i do.

Its something you just have to deal with with words.

speaking of...

quote:

sinahptik is referring to, which seems to be more towards an internal peace, and connection to life at large, and perceptions of reality.

i happen to disagree!

quote:

Guess I see the 'determination' pov as being more passive and accepting (which is helpful in some ways), but the free will pov as being more active and in charge of your own life.

might not have come across so i thought id reitterate that i believe in both, and neither (some may say this says nothing, and they couldnt be more right!) i believe things are determined, or "set," however, we still make all of the choices, and experience the consequences. many things come to us, and just like those things came to us, we must again go to other things.

Hi again Ann-Marie,

>>What do **you** think?????<<

Wish I could answer that but don't really have the words or the time to write that book.

I'll just have to limit myself to a few words this exchange has inspired. Thank you.

Dedicated to all the lost souls I have known:

I could ask you to be my friend.
I could ask you to be my valentine.
I could ask you to just go away.
But I would rather ask you to be my Savior.

Cuz I ain't got no friendship to give;
I forget where all my love is hid;
And I'm so lonesome I could die.
So just be my Savior tonight.

All of a sudden, my life is rockin and a'rollin...

and I will be back to write more asap!!!

sinahptik,

Your last post is sooo thought-provoking to me. I think your statements are "similar" to some beliefs that another friend has shared with me, someone who is very influenced by Buddhist thought. I find it enjoyable to explore the resonance with my own truth. I think these ideas are so similar to my beliefs, but also profounding different in a way that is very enagaging, stimulating and pretty much irresistable in terms of my desire to spend time with it.

Are we allowed to want more? If so, who is responsible for making that happen? that sort of thing but I need to spend a lot more time with it first.

I appreciate this distinction that sinahptik, Eowyn218 and Itchy Soles (in their various ways) have made about thinking/ encoding into words/ externally communicating vs. experiencing/ knowing at a non-mental spiritual level. I agree with that distinction and regret that we must mostly share ourselves via intellectualized words here (the poetry idea really works for me, however!!! ). I look at how much I've written and am well aware with how little it says, and how when I experience these things, it is instantaneous and deep and so much more than I could ever convey externally. Plus, these durn words take quite a bit of time to find and organize!!!


I look forward to doing just that when the opportunity arises again, soon...

I need to attend to these huge life changes first so I can go out and have more amazing travel experiences!!!

Ann-Marie

quote:

Are we allowed to want more?

Ann-Marie,
Your question drew me to a yellow post-it I keep in front of me at work. A short thought I wrote inspired by some commercial I saw.

Not less than you need;
Just less than you are used to...

Not more than you need;
Just more than you are used to...

quote:

Originally posted by sinahptik:
[QUOTE]

My father told me a story about a horse once. This horse lived on a beautiful farm, had everything it needed to live, and nice people to take care of it. It would trot around proudly feeling the wind in its hair. One day, this horse decided to venture further away than he ever had before. He was jolted by something surrounding his neck. In query, he pulled a bit harder. He attempted to go further, but just couldnt make it.. He obviously wanted to be "free!" He wanted to feel the wind in his hair! It became an obsession, he just had to obtain that freedom! His life was spent trying to escape, trying to break free of his limitations. He was certainly dedicated in his pursuit. He tried everything; bucking, running, dragging, and even crying for help. Nothing gained him that freedom he so badly wanted, and most assuredly, deserved! However, when he laid his head down in his final moment, he realized what he felt before he found the rope was the exact same freedom he was searching for beyond the rope. That rope was always there, but he felt "free" before he discovered it was there.

Now, one may look at it and go "he was always imprisoned." However, that places far too much on what we create in our minds. The freedom he searched for had nothing to do with the rope, for he HAD that freedom the entire time. Every-thing has its limitations, but "freedom" is a headgame.

My "reality" would simply add some elements to the story about this horse... (funny, much of my own spiritual path has been traveled with horses! Along with so many other things, horses are mostly now something of the past, but still... they are very good teachers about freedom. Also this story reminds me of a chapter in a book called "From Freedom to Slavery: the Rebirth of Tyranny in America" by Gerry Spence, in which he described horses that were "easy in the traces").

My spiritual tradition adds these concepts: once the horse made peace with the rope around its neck, the rope would dissolve, fall off, or some nearby person would come along and remove the rope. If the horse never considered the fight, never viewed himself as trapped, I would call that "denial". Or he knows he is trapped and feels like God has to come rescue him, that is a denial of a huge aspect of one's true nature. Or that he sees the rope but thinks nothing else is possible, I would call that denial of the spirit, often characterized by depression (which I see rampant everywhere I look). When the horse finally sees that he can gain freedom internally (as described in sinahptik's version), whether that comes after a long and dramatic battle, or whether is come internally in a peaceful, private, possibly subconscious way, that is when (my version) not only internal change, but the external change can occur. And will occur. And, like following a physical law, MUST occur. Even though this often occurs subconsciously, these are the realms that my fellow psychics and I dwell within, this is exactly what we look at every day, mostly at ourselves. I see most people walking around having no concept whatsoever of the amazing changes they are making inside themselves and how powerfully they are shaping their own lives in externally meaningful ways. They just think "this is how life is... things just happen". And yes, that is true, but what a miraculous thing that is! I kind of enjoy celebrating it.

What causes the rope in the first place? The most simple explanation? karma (my version of karma, something whose existence we are not neutrally subjected to by some greater force who knows better than we do, but we create ourselves). Why does a person insist on pursuing karmic dynamics rather than freedom- why do we have these ropes? Well, let's go back to the horse... maybe the horse doesn't trust himself to be free, to make the decisions that freedom requires. Maybe the horse doesn't feel like he is worthy of freedom. Maybe the horse doesn't want to find his own grass and water, he is willing to let someone else provide for him, even though he hates it and resents it at the same time (I would say this might be redundant to the first two suggestions, but if you are depressed and have no energy at the end of the day, or even by 1 pm each day, maybe you are too damn tired to go find your own grass and water). Why would a horse chose the long, dramatic fight rather than a more peaceful one? An internal identification as a victim, and worse yet, an addiction to martyrdom/ victimhood for attention, for sympathy, for some connection to someone and something-- if the horse fights violently, loudly and piteously, surely some neighbors or passers by will notice and think, "wow, that poor horse". Maybe he will get "rescued" someday! Perhaps the owner will feel a pang of pity, or guilt, or somehow, continue to be energetically bound to the horse in a way that is no longer possible once the horse has found peace and the rope is gone...AKA detachment...

I decided to send a this message about the horse story tonight, since I just had my own little personal epiphany about this very topic a short time ago... I just found another place where I am playing victim to the rope rather than just dissolving it. Always a disturbing yet deeply satisfying moment... This issue is something about which I have been saying: "I am working on this and working on this and ready to change this" for months (my version of a battle)!!! Quite the martyr indeedy! Sometimes, that loss of connection with a person is very very hard to allow... and in my case, very likely will happen, as I tiptoe closer to the moment when the rope is unbound...

The thing that many call ego is no longer a useful term for me. I see human personality, and one's "truth" vs "that which is not truth" in a whole new light now. But that is another email entirely.

Ann-Marie