BootsnAll Travel Community

I'm 28,single and without children. I have no desire to get married,have a mortgage or any type of career in the corporate hell hole. Hell, I still live at home with my parents so I can afford to travel. I'm the only one left out of all my "original" friends that hasnt settled. haha

maybe this would be a good post in coporate wasteland

anything is possible

i mean good topic in corporate wasteland - a lot of people there don't seem content

anything is possible

For some reason I havent read this post and it is rather long...but for what I have gotten out of it seems very depressing...not that you all are depressing, it is what I have to look forward to that is depressing. Well I'm 22 and am a senior in college. I could grad next dec a semester late or keep going to fullfill more requirements for another program I dont know if I will get into...is it worth it?...Well if not, then what do I do with my life. Seems to me as GreyCat said, no one knows what to do with their life...I sure don't and according to my family I'm just going to be a full time student for the rest of my life because I cant decide on what do to. Well actually I will finish school but Im not super confident I made the right choice in the area I am pursuing (Biology), Know what I mean?! AHHH life is just a bundle of questions...guess you just have to take one day at a time and hope you find the anwswers somewhere inside youself. For now I just keep travling when I can...that seems to add to my college debt quite well but keeps me happy

how many people remember useful things from school anyway?

has anyone read The Teenage Liberation Handbook?

anything is possible

http://www.geocities.com/moonwindstarsky/purposebooks

books about life/soul purpose/meaning calling/vocation/career

http://www.geocities.com/moonwindstarsky/programs

out 'a away programs, careers, people in those careers

http://www.geocities.com/moonwindstarsky/unschooling

unschooling



these are links to books, groups, forums, sites

anything is possible

For those that feel like you may be 'wasting' your life...you only have to answer to yourself. You can either 'exist' or 'LIVE'. I see so many people that are in the middle of their life and just seem absolutely miserable. Why? They have a nice house, a couple of cars, a few nice kids, and take a nice vacation every year. Isn't that the American Dream?

I still can't figure out the answer to this one...Why should I work 40-50 hours a week just to have 2 lousy days to myself? The answer...if i don't want to, I SHOULDN'T!!

I went through a lot of these issues very recently and still am to a degree. I was miserable after graduating from college and working as a lobbyist in Washington, DC. It sucked. I got so bored of working M-F, then going out drinking with friends on Friday and Saturday and starting all over again on Monday. It's an awful rut to get into, but sadly it is what is 'expected' of people our age (I'm 26). I ended up leaving work on a Friday and a certain twist of fate had it work out that I never went back. Thank god.

My best answer to all of these dilemnas is this...life is what you make of it. You can't help others until you help yourself. Don't live your life so that when you are 75 years old you look back and think, "i wish i did this, i wish i did that, etc..."

Go do 'those things'. You don't have to get married, you don't have to work 9-5, you don't have to have kids, you don't have to buy a house, you don't have to settle down. You don't have to do anything except die. I don't mean for that to sound morbid either. 2 things are certain in life...you are born and you die. The middle is up for grabs.

My favorite book ever "Ishmael" by Daniel Quinn was something I came across when struggling with all this stuff and it kind of helped put some things in perspective.

"It's a Lifestyle"
- me

I completely understand what everyone is saying. I am at the beginning of the quarter-life crisis. I'm 23 years old with one more year of college left. My parents keep telling me "Show me a plan" about what I am going to do with my life in the theater. They want me to find a theater and become a resident stage manager and not expore anything becuase I have to start making money or something. It's becuase of that, that I feel lost. I know that I have to travel to ireland, otherwise I think I will be missing out on something. I just hate the lost thing, I hope it doesn't last long.

Wow, I never heard of 1/4 life crisis!

I didn't go to college. Instead I had a baby my senior year of High School, took 3 years off to be with my baby and have been working ever since. My daughter's birthday was last week. She turned 26 yrs.

My 20s were hard because of being a parent so young, but they were basically worry free, I had lots of friends and just enjoyed life.

Now at 43 I have alot less friends, but the ones I do have are faithful and ones I truly can count on.

I like you, still wonder what I'll do with my life. And it seems crazy but I'm thinking of retirement. I for one don't want to work the next 25 years, to qualify for a Social Security check that won't exist.

My advise: Live simply, live within your means, don't let stress it away at you. You're too young to be all stressed out.

Cheers.

Quarter life crises,
Nice conversation, I have read all of your thoughts and feel much the same way.
I am of the generation told you can do what ever you want!
Then told, these are the steps for your lives enjoy, IE Collage, Girl, Marriage, Family, Stability, House, spending lots of money I don’t have. On what a wooden box, a wife that is tired of my bad jokes and children that want nothing but love and guidance oh and lots of money for everyone. The governments hand, family’s hand, taxes, insurance, mortgage I would have so many hands in my pockets, with no enjoyment! This equals Slavery to me a life style that is not good for much but feeling trapped, and that I do, and that is just thinking about all the drama! The same things every day on the congested roads watching the government do bad things for my oil. I want out of this 9 to 5; you get two days we get five. I did not sign up for that it was placed upon me!
I want community that can work together. Plant, grow and play interact with peace and civility; A place where God can be a word for the mystery of life the unknown the realm of dreams and legions, which is somehow attached to us. People say their will always be war, which is because people let them selves be used for the power of the Government. Yes there will always be differences but with communication any thing can be worked out and compromises made.
Money is not happiness, to think about how many hours I have wasted to make the amount of money I’ve made, I could have been round the world twice already.
Some people feel like it is a crisis to be undecided others feel like it is a blessing to have a world of possibilities. I am the second!
I am of the mind set to brake away and find a life that makes me happy.
I have friends living the corporate Hell and they hate the box they’ve made for themselves. I also have friends that live at home that will never have a life because it is so attached to what their family wants; break the codependence people you will be stronger for it.
I believe that wondering is good for the soul; hence vision quests & walkabout’s just ways of letting you know that you do have options in life, this path or that, and when in that place of reflection it is easy to see what you are made of, and what you are missing.
“Settling down” is a scam to produce a stable economic community. I think we should spread all over the world love, and see the things we have never experienced. Take them all in, use our senses to feel the joy and sorrow. Become better people because we are well informed and humble having live among others as outsiders, wanting to be accepted for our differences!

Hi I am Adam
This is my first post so I had a lot to get of my chest!
I am 24 so I am in the middle of my crisis!
Thanks for your time!

I'm lost now. I want to unschool so much, then find something to do with IMAX filming, national geographic, discovery, TLC or travel channel - AND travel!



http://geocities.com/moonwindstarsky

Amen, Adam. you've perfectly summed up all my feelings for the past 3 years )which is why i finally broke out of the midtown rat race, decided that the crisis WAS a blessing, and am in turkey in the first leg of my RTW...
thank god there are people who understand. i was beginning to wonder if i had just happily lost my marbles. practically everyone i meet these days thinks i'm a lunatic to do this as a 23-year old girl. i'm just happy to have reached some sort of understanding about life (i think??) so early on....
rock on, guys, and may you live all the days of your life...

Erin

Wow, Adam that was amazing!!! Yes truly how i've been feeling these past years too. Wondering what the heck i'm doing with my life. i am 27..the big 30 was nearing... so i did some serious soul-seraching. Decided to give up everything and go RTW next year.

That's what is so great about BNA - we all understand each other. I only know one person who is supporting me, everyone else thinks i've lost my mind.

Erin, i too went through a time when i actually started to think maybe i was doing the wrong thing and all these people were right. Then i found BNA.... Now i don't even doubt myself, i truly believe we are all following our hearts and will have a great time not following the norm, or what is expected of us.

Good for you..... enjoy your travels Erin!!!

i am leaving the US in October and going home to be with family and friends in singapore for a few months. Then heading off through S.E Asia early 2005. I am counting down...so excited.

angeline

I'm trying to write this correctly and convey what I mean so please bear with me - you never say it just how you want to, do you.

The quarter life crisis has already been and gone and it scared me witless!! I put it off with things that I thought that I'd like to do instead. I ran a volleyball club and had a lot of fun, learnt to ride a motorbike and list it as one of the best things I ever did. Kept and made many good friends, like brothers or sisters. Closer to me that my own family even. I've enjoyed these ten years, lived comfortably, safe, secure. I didnt' waste that time but there is more to me than that, I'm sure.
I'm now 34 and that tiny little voice that muttered under its' breath in my mid-twenties is now screaming at me: THERE HAS GOT TO BE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS!!!!!. Don't get me wrong - I'm very grateful for my life and all that I've got from it but there is a whole world out there that I just don't know about. I'm not sure I can carry on knowing this and not do something about it. Someone emailed earlier in this thread about social conformity and how that is all wrong. I'm sure I'm expected to be a family man by now because most people are - wife, couple of kids, complaining to my neighbour about interest rates and shit like that. You should do what you want, surely. No-one makes rules here but you. I've been scared of this for too long: where will I go, what if I can't find a place to sleep, what if I get lost, who will I talk too??. Please tell me I'm not the only one who's thought like this?. Now it's like, I want to go there, what is that place like, these seem like nice people, this is the greatest feeling in my life. I now want to explore all avenues of me. Selfish? perhaps but I don't think so. How great can I feel, how loud can I laugh, how much can I experience. I'm looking forward to telling all my friends children everything that I did. Maybe my own one day. The world keeps turning. There is still time for an adventure here.

Elvie

Elvie,

You are very cool -- it seems you know what's really important and are excited to explore those avenues and see where you end up. I just turned 26, and am pretty much in your current frame of mind. However, I'm not to the point like many of the folks on here where I'm able (or want) to completely let go and quit my job and throw everything to the wind. I'm too much of a long-term planner right now, so it's hard for me to let go. Maybe someday I will be able to, but for now, I'm trying my best to live in both worlds - the world of making a living (albeit it is an uninteresting, exceedingly boring and pointless job with people I mostly can't relate to), and the world that I believe in - the world of adventure, and *life*, and excitement, and travel, and seeing and experiencing new things. I'm in the process of convincing myself that I in fact *can* travel on my own -- and so you know you're not alone, the logistics of this -- the hostels, the transportation, the I-can-only-speak-english factor, the loneliness, etc -- scares me equally as much as you!! But I'm trying to come to terms with this!

Lynn

Very cool?? - thankyou very much. I don't think I've ever been very or even cool before. I'm English you see. Maybe I was tepid once

You sound like you are at where I was, about a year ago. 'Trying' to enjoy yourself. It shouldn't be an effort - it should just be so. Reading between the lines, I think you do know that you want to do more but the offset of that (giving up pretty much all you know to be safe in your world that you've made for yourself) is scary. In time you will reach a threshold of just how much you can take. Once you cross that threshold then you will accept that it's time to do whatever you've always wanted to. That is where I feel I am now.

Hope this helps some

elv

Elvie,

I won't deny that you're pretty much correct! Way to read between the lines!! :-) You're right, "trying" doesn't exactly cut it -- it shouldn't be an effort to be content, you know? I know this very well, but I haven't reached the threshold, as you put it. I've been going through all of this crap for several months (close to a year, I guess), and I'm so tired of it....so I'm "waiting" for all of it to settle, to see where I find myself, and where I end up. For the time being, yes, I'm "trying," because I'm not prepared to face the consequences yet.

You've given me something to think about!

Lynn

wow...i just stumbled on this topic, and after just reading a few posts i have butterflies in my stomach. some of the things said here finally put words to SO many of the questions i have about my own future. i've never been so scared in my life as i am now (just a few weeks away from traveling all over another continent without ever having left my own) but infinitely inspired and grateful for all the wisdom shared by those who have "been there done that". for the first time i'm actually starting to realize that the reason i'm nervous is because i'm not really looking forward to what comes next..grad school and the real world post-school, yet on the same token i definitely do not look at this trip as a way to postpone the inevitable---hopefully it will only encourage me to embrace my real passions once reality sets in. one last question still lingers though after reading these comments...how often do people pull out of the crisis without any regrets or is it what we regret that launches the crisis to begin with?? (ps..i'm definitely NOT trying to be philosophical in case that totally confused anyone..its a blonde thing)

*BB*

Well, as I am in the midst of the "crisis" I don't know that I can answer your question very well, and as I often take a philosophical slant on things I don't think I can avoid being philosophical - by the way, I'm blonde too.

For me...I don't think it was/is a regret, per se, that has launched my crisis...it's more of an intuition, and a feeling that something isn't right and this isn't how I want my life to be. So I'm in the midst of trying to figure out a solution to make my life what I want it to be. And as I've said in many of my rambling messages on this site, I have no idea at this point what that solution will be, or when I'll figure it out. I don't have many answers, and there are a lot of things I don't know, but I DO know what I'm passionate about -seeing new things/exploring the world, and being outdoors in nature. Those are the only things that really get my blood moving. I have many hobbies and interests which I enjoy, but those don't make me feel alive like travel and being in the wilderness does.

I know that didn't answer your question, but then I'm not in a position, really, to be able to answer it....I will say though that I don't think I'm emotionally capable of living with a major regret in my life.

Lynn

There are some amazing stories on this website and the thing is, they're not from massively extrovert people - they're just like you or me. It does make you think 'if they can do it, why can't I'?? Reading through all the stories, it's immensely comforting to know that you're not the only one whose had to face this decision or that dilemma. Someone's been there before and probably has heaps of advice. People do worry. I'm a worrier but you realise that worry is just time spent on something that might never happen. I worry less now and instead want to do more.

elv