BootsnAll Travel Community

I will tell you quite honestly what the big hangup is, Elvie, and I know this is the obvious one that everyone on this site will either roll their eyes at or agree with -- it's the money. And I don't mean to complain about everything, because I'll just sound like a whiner, but I can't resolve how to live the life I want to live when there aren't jobs available in my field of interest, and I see no point in going to school to get a masters when there are tons of people with masters who are all trying to compete for the same precious few jobs that open up. I *know* things open up and there are many people out there who love their jobs and are able to get paid to travel, or do what they really love, but I haven't figured out yet how to make that happen for me. So that is why I am in a stable, dull, not super-high-paying job - because I haven't figured out my options. And I think this is something I have to figure out on my own, which is why I always feel silly talking to other people about it -- because it's my path that I have to figure out. Yes, it would be cool to quit and travel for awhile, but that takes money. Plus I have a cat that I love! :-) So that is why I call this my crisis -- I certainly don't expect any help or sympathy, because I don't deserve it, because there are so many other people like me, and my situation is nothing new. Gar!

Lynn

I'm in the middle of my quarter-life crisis too and it's so refreshing to read everyone's opinions/suggestions. Whenever i talk to my family/friends about it the general attitude is like "well that's life, suck it up." it's good to know that i'm not crazy to think there's more to life than the "american dream". but here's my (if somewhat lame) analogy of the whole thing. i think that deciding to give it (9-5 life basically) all up in search of something more meaningful and fulfulling is like falling in love. people ask how you know you're in love and the answer is always, you just know. i think when you're ready to make a change/take the plunge, there will be no doubt in your mind that this is what you have to do and that you're doing the right thing. so i agree with lynn that until you figure things out for sure, you shoudn't go making rash decisions. as for sympathy, anyone who has to work for a living (myself included) deserves all the sympathy in the world!

Thanks Sue, that was very well put. Here I go rambling on and on, and all I was really trying to say is that one shouldn't make rash decisions. What works for one person may not work for another, so yes, I have to figure it out on my own. And your analogy I thought was quite appropriate -- that's really how I base all of my decisions - you do have that feeling of whether it's something you have to do or not...you have that certainty. It's the uncertain/wandering/lost stage that I *loathe*, which is why it's kind of a "waiting game" for me right now -- because I know eventually I'll know what needs to be done. But in the meantime....ARG!

Lynn,
Another week or so on BNA should convince you. That's all it took for me! I also remember back to a woman i met at work who told me that she and her husband both quit their jobs when they were around 50 to travel the world for a year, which turned into two. I told her that she had lived my dream and she told me that if it was something i really wanted then with a little planning i could make it happen. i didn't really believe that until i stumbled across BNA. But one thing she said to me that really stuck out in my mind was that as they were trying to decide if they should do it, the question they began asking themselves was not "why should we do this" but "why not". and they came up with no really good answers to that one. So take your time to figure things out, you'll feel so good about everything when you finally do and to quote on of my favorite songs at the moment:
"this might take awhile to figure out, so don't you rush it, and hold your head up high right through the doubt, because it's just a matter of time, you've been running so fast, it's the seven day mile, has you torn in between here and running away" --The Frames

Sue

THANKS Sue...I really love BNA, because I can converse with people who understand me and can relate to what I'm going through and my feelings. You'd think it wouldn't be so hard to find people like these in the "real world," i.e. Minneapolis, in my case, but it is!! So I'm so relieved to be a part of BNA now. As stupid as I often sound!

Liked the lyrics, by the way...it seems awfully appropriate!

....and all of a sudden, I'm a fan of The Frames It's a great lyric, but I've never heard of them before.

One thing that's always stuck in my mind is a friend who went around the world and was amazed at the amount of fortysomethings who were travelling. When he asked why they were travelling at that age the man replied: after 20 years in the same job, it's not a case of wanting to see the world, it's a case of having to. It never made me want to scoot off travelling but reminded me that it's never too late to do it.

elv

Yes there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on....

Elvie,
They're from Ireland and pretty big there from what I understand but not very known anywhere else. In case you're interested-- www.theframes.ie

And i couldn't agree more--it's never too late.

sue

Sue,

Another week at BNA? It might be sooner than that. Next spring this board may find my parents cursing it out and wondering what happened to their daughter.

When are you planning on heading out? Hmm..you can always feel free to send me a private message if you're not supposed to have this sort of conversation on the boards.

Lynn

Perhaps this might help some people feel better about their quarter/mid/whatever life crisis.
I was listening to "Cannonball" by Damien Rice last night and there's a line in the song that goes "it's not hard to grow, when you know that you just don't know." now i've heard the song and that line a million times before but it never meant much to me or even made sense until last night (it's amazing the things you can figure out when you can't sleep). anyway, for the past two years since i have graduated from college and been working, i have been in my quarter life crisis-- confused, without direction, apathetic, bored, disatifsfied, etc. and i think a lot of that was coming from the total freedom i had (financially independent and not tied down to anything i.e. school for the first time, and not committed to anyone) i could literally go anywhere/do anything at the drop of a hat, but having all those options made me completely indecisive about what to do. so here's where that line comes in-- i realized taht in the past two years (as angst ridden as they have been) that i have also grown the most as a person, becoming more independent, self-reliant, confident, unafraid, and experiencing many new things. i'm sure some of this has to do just with becoming financially independent and an "adult", but i think it has more to do with the fact that for th first time in my life i was calling the shots 100% of the time, feeling good about the good decisions and learning from the bad. so even though it hasn't been the easiest of times, it's been a hell of a ride and i'm thankful for it all.

Sue