BootsnAll Travel Community

!GONG!

We have decided to start a new religion. We are using this thread as our Bible.
Every chapter of our Bible must start and end with !GONG!. other comments my be placed with out the ceremonial entrance.

The way of the "GOING" is a religion based on the beliefs of travelers from across the globe.
We encourage others to join the ranks of our most sacred order. After much discussion FemaleNomad, BillE, Joey T, and me Dopplegangerr have decided on some of the rules, creeds, and beliefs we shall uphold.
We wish you all happiness and enlightenment in "GOING".

!GONG!

!GONG!

A tablet falls from the sky as the prophet Joey walks towards it in his cargo pants and battered scandals...

He brushes the dirt from the tablets and discovers three colummns of six 3-letter codes

JFK LAX ATL
ORD LHR HND
FRA YYZ HKG
BKK MIA LGW
SIN QSY GIG
CAI JNB AMS

These are the 18 Holy Hubs.
Thou shall use these Hubs in order to travel to the far reaches of Earth.


!GONG!

If you're going to have faith, you're going to have conflict, so...

!Ding-a-ling!

For centuries, the Order of the Broken Packstrap has opposed the Going Faith. Our goal is to rid the Earth of the Goers, and thwart their plans for global domination.

From our bases in nightclubs, pool halls, bowling alleys and sushi retaurants around the world, we fight an unseen battle that can end in only one way...

!Ding-a-ling!

GONG!

don't panic

GONG!

!Ding-a-ling!

You should panic a little.

!Ding-a-ling!

Blood is the matter, screeched the apparation, dressed in mud-covered sandals, and a flashy tie. The mites of this earth, attacked the ding-a-lings and gongers with equal ferocity. Yes, the mites were everywhere, in the tents, in sushi bars. There was no escape. The warring factions, joined hands and invented DEET!

You're weird Dustyshoes - in a very good way :-)

!GONG!

And lo, the Lord of Travel spake unto the multitude from on high, saying: "Be thou not a tourist, but a traveler, for thou shalt experience the world not from the window of a VIP bus or the balcony of a five-star hotel, but from the street, face-to-face with the multitude. Therefore, renouncest thou thy suitcase and take up thy backpack, and go ye forth to all nations." And it was good.

lol good one bubbha
i forgot about this post, we where all so drunk when we came up with this. haha we had so many things we wanted to put on here that night, alas we kinda fell short when the hang over started the next morning.
we did have great ideas, mabey we could have cured world hunger or some thing, if i only i could rember how....

!GONG!

Oh thou travellers, who cross vast expanses with their hearts beating to the ancient drums of nomads...listen well:
When consumed with the plauge known to some as 'travellers illness' it is but a test sent to you on high from the 'Travel Gods'. It shall be known that your perserverence through this maladay shall be noted in your travel karma. So be not cross to the locals you meet while suffering, for they have suffered too.
And be not unkind nor unkept to your hostel mates for they know your pain.
!GONG!

!GONG!
In addition to the 'travel illness' diatribe the Travel Gods lo! The Gods doth sent to me another decree relating to the last:
When eating in these far-away lands be vigilant.
*If you do eat from stalls, eat from stalls with high turnover and well cooked meats.
*If you eat from a small resteraunt make sure the food is not heated up in a microwave, but cooked in front of you.
*Don't ye drink the water!(and watch the ice)
*Carefull with fruit, peel it yourself.

Verily the Gods doth say with the best interest of the traveller in their hearts.

!Ding-a-ling!

Please open your books to Chapter 6, Verse 11.
The second commandment of the Order of the Broken Packstrap is:
'Bonk not the South American backpacker in thy hostel, no matter how hot.
Nor the Swedish traveller thou hast met in the pub.
Bonk not even the attractive American thou lust after in the airport.
Yea, verily thou must bonk only Australians, for this is the only true way.
And the people will see, and say 'It is good', and 'Whither is mine camera?'


!Ding-a-ling!

!GONG!
Chapter 7 verse 1: The parable of the sad American woman...

One day a lovely American woman from the land of Seattle was strolling across a riverbed when she came upon a Travel God. Quckly she bowed her head and offered a beer to the diety who was washing his pants before her.

"Dear Travel God, may I ask upon you a question?" she ventured.
"But of course, my nomadic spirit, please, ask to your hearts content".
"well", she begain, "I heard that we were to boink only the Aussie men. From the sacred texts it is rumored to be true. Is this really so? No Itallians, Greeks, Brazillians, Puerto Ricans, French, Lebonese, or Americans?"

"It is true" replied the Travel Diety, "and it was sent on high from the Order of the Broken Packstrap".

The woman bowed her head as if mourning. Realizing she had been saddened greatly by her new lack of variety the Travel God, mercifull always, sought to make it right.
"However", he begain, "From this day forth the Aussie men will be in the finest physical shape of all the men in the world. They shall spend their days primping to be the most beautiful men in all the lands. Not a situp missed or a pushup forsaken. And henceforth shall be trained in all essences of wooing a lady".
The American woman smiled. And it was good.
!GONG!

!Ding-a-ling!

Yea, in this time the people of the broken packstrap were well-pleased and the land prospered. The women were pleased as they had never been pleased before - day and night in many and varied ways.
But still the seeds of discontent grew in the garden of happiness. And so the people knelt in the dust and cried to the heavens 'Reveal unto us the true ways of travel!'
And delivered unto them were the '10 Strongly-worded Suggestions' (in weekly installments)
1. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's travel buddy, upon pain of a fist fight and a most heated argument.

!Ding-a-ling!

!GONG!

The parable of the drunken hostel traveller...

There was, at one time, a traveller by the name of Sam. Sam was a good man and so the Travel Gods blessed him with many a good story and a multitude of fantastic travel buddies.

One night, in Berlin, Sam met a woman named Elsie. She was beautiful and he wanted to tell her so, but he was too frightened Elsie would find him repugnant. So Sam did what most men do to stock up on courage, he drank.

Sam drank and he drank and he drank until the idea of Elsie rejecting him meant little. But by the time he realized this she had left the pub. He stumbled around, his eyes blurry with a mix of bitter tears and inebriation. Finally he gave up and trudged back to his hostel.

That night Sam caused such a racket stumbling around in the 12 bed dorm room his travel mates could hardly get any sleep. Around 3am he got up, walked across the floor, and pissed on another travellers backpack. A scuffle broke out and Sam was told to leave.

Walking down the lonley cold streets of the German city Sam looked to the sky. "Why" he cried out to the Travel Gods. "Why have I been punnished so!".
Before him appeared a messanger. "Sam" she said, "you have disrupted the codes of the hostel, you have angered your fellow travel mates...and for what?"
"Elsie" he croaked out sadly. "Elsie"
"That is right" the messanger said in her soothing voice, "for a woman who would have talked to you had you not been stumbling drunk".
"I shall then swear off beer forever" cried Sam vigilantly.
"Nay, that is not the answer" sighed the messanger. "Here is a message from on high, thou shall get drunk, but not sloppy drunk. And if thou doth get sloppy drunk to the point of pissing on backpacks make sure you have a buddy along to help you not to do such a thing. Also Sam, you should have better confidance. You have trekked in the Andes, danced with Balinese families, slept on Indian trains and laughed with the Irish, be proud of your acomplishments and go get yourself a lady."
Sam thanked the messanger and watched her rise into the sky.
Sam looked around and he found himself at a train station with the next train headed to Paris. As he looked across the platform he spied a beautiful lady. Sam got up the guts and started a conversation. And it was good.

!GONG!

!GONG!

From the book of JSol, the Prophet, Chapter 60, verses 9-15:

9 "...And The Wanderer came upon a land of eternal sun, nestled deep within the hills of NetLand. And there He did find a growing village that the Elders cryptically spoke of as 'Bootsnall'.

10 And The Wanderer found that the villagers were a mix of many peoples and creeds, and lived a life devoted to communication, travel and support for one another.

11 The Wanderer's heart did cheer as the villagers welcomed him with open arms into their flock, and shared with him the triumphs and pains of his lonely journey.

12 And as the Wanderer basked in the hospitality and comraderie of his newfound home, he was delighted to see that other weary pilgrims made their way towards the village.

13 Each was greeted with a smile or hearty slap on the back, and the weary pilgrims did join the flock and sing the praises of their newfound home and kingdom, and the generosity and kindness of their Elders and peers.

14 The Wanderer did stretch his tired, dusty legs beside the warmth of the fires of adventure, hope, friendship and compassion, and lent his voice to the joyous cry of the pilgrims.

15 And The Wanderer saw that it was good..."

!GONG!

!GONG!

Book JSol, the Prophet
Chapter 1, verse 5

"5 ... And The Wanderer did come down from atop the Mount of Boots, and in his weathered hands, he did hold the sacred Seal of the Elder Travel Deities.

6 The Wanderer did gaze upon the pilgrims who had made their camp upon the desert of Enlightenment, and he did proclaim to the flock, "Verily, thou hast traveled to hear the words of the Elder Deities, in the hope that you may find your path to the Hidden Kingdom of Traveler's Bliss.

7 The Deities hath shared with me their sacred message so that I may minister unto my uninformed brothers and sisters, and show them the Road to the Promised Lands.

8 The Deities didst discuss many things, and though they often jumped topic, I was able to discern the heart of their teachings. Having been enlightened, I have decided to create a tablet of Commandments based on the Elder Deities sacred knowledge. Those Commandments, are thus:

---------
1 - Thou shalt not lose hope in The Quest for the Hidden Kingdom.

2 - Thou shalt not run off half-cocked; verily, thou shalt arm thyself with their knowledge to ensure that thou reachest the Promised Lands.

3 - Thou shalt maketh a Pilgrimage to the Holy Lands of the Emerald Coast, and there, pay homage to the Elders in the Kingdom of 'PORT-LAND'

4 - Thou shalt treat thy fellow travelers, hostel owners, and the indigenous people of the lands you journey through with kindness, respect, compassion and leave no trace of your travels upon the land.

5 - Thou shalt keep thy loved ones and the members of our flock updated of your travels, so that we may share your joy, and ensure ourselves thou art safe.

6 - Thou shalt aid thy fellow travelers in their Quest for Enlightenment, through good works and knowledge.

7 - Thou shalt sing the praise and glory of the beautiful Elder Goddess, Court.

8 - Thou shalt not give up, ever.

9 - Thou shalt take care when eating, or drinking in distant lands. Verily, the Sacred knowledge says that if thou doth not boil it, peel it, unwrap it, thou shall throw it away, or face the Demons of Illness.

10 - Thou shalt keep an open-mind, and open heart, and enjoy thyselves in thou Quest, for such is the path to Enlightement."
------

9 And the Wanderer did cinch the straps on his pack, tighten the laces of his dusty boots, and prepared for his journey into the Unknown Lands.

10 And the Wanderer saw that it was Good."

So sayeth JSol, the Prophet...

!GONG!

!GONG!
In the land of burning suns and scorched earth
the Travel Godess, Prisa, acended from the heavens whereupon she gave the following sermon:

Hear me, oh weary travellers, for I speak but the truth. Verily I have given parables of how to act in the hostel, how to act if sick, and whom you shall boink and why...but this is what I condsider the ultimate truth:

Whereupon you enter a new hostel, alone, or with company you are hereby commanded to talk to your hostelmates. Be it your bunkmate, roomate, or tablemate. I do not care. But that lonely traveller in the corner reading their book: strike up a conversation.
That tiered looking traveller washing and or cooking a dinner: say hello.

These actions of friendliness also extend to the locals. You see one while passing? Say hello. If you buy food from one, say thank you. If you can, create a friend of them for they are the essence of why you are there. They are the culture and have made the land. Treat them well for you are intruding in their lives.

Leave them with fond memories of you so the next traveller after you is treated well. And if these people have preconcieved notions of you, understand it was the traveller before you who left this impression. Do your best to change them for the better.

Also, you shall leave the land as you saw it. DO NOT throw your plastic water bottle on the ground lest you fear the wrath of me, for I will give you a travellers illness. DO NOT take peices of ancient buildings with you. No Mayan ruins, no Greek ruins...No Pyramidal stones...you got it! Once again, if you do I shall strike you with some illness. E.coli, hepititis, malaria...I've got tons of these to throw out so don't anger me.

Once again:
Dance with them, eat with them, talk with them, laugh with them. These are your orders.

**Note: when this sermon was transcribed from it's ancient and holy original text the word 'them' was meant to mean locals and/or fellow travellers. As always, these religous texts are open to interpritation.

man, what a mental religon!!!
sorry, gong, what a mental religon, spread the word.
gong

!Dingaling!

Wrapped in a dark funnel of storm cloud, forked lightning in his left hand and the sealed Book of Ages in his right, the Deity known as Borderland the Traveller descended upon the Earth. Two white ravens soared in the tempest above his furrowed brow and a sound like clashing armies could be heard with every footstep.
When he spoke, his voice was both the sigh of the desert wind and the crashing of ocean waves upon the rocky shore. These were his words:

'Prisa, you said it girl. Rock on.'

!Dingaling!

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