BootsnAll Travel Community

Perhaps this book might be of interest:

The Wisdom of Insecurity - Amazon link below.

http://tinyurl.com/a7l2k


One simple phrase to remember and repeat:

- Live free or die -

Hi E
Nice to see you again.

Thanks dusty
E.

seems im catching up on this thread a little late here, but i'll give you my piece anyways E.

what i can say is that after reading the past two pages, it felt as if i was looking througha mirror, right back at myself, weird... but anyways, in one of my own experiences regarding the whole "if it's meant to be, it'll be" things, i was soo hung up that i completely gave up, disregarded that a certain circumstance would ever happen and tried to move on. after a few years with no luck in forgetting, just as soon as i decided to finally confront it head on, it fell beautifully right into my lap. i was awestruck, and could not believe it would ever happen so easily, or be possible.

little did i know that in the end i would become my own destroyer, and that's when it all came tumbling down. imagine that, i just had the best thing i ever had and ever wanted, and then broke it all on my own. now i feel back at the beginning but not so much so. i know what happened and why. yet i have another chance to make it work again. sure maybe not with the same person, but i never thought it would happen the first time either.

still, i wouldn't say that i believe that "if it's meant to be, it will be", but rather that, if you have hope/faith in that thing, to a point where you are willing to throw yourself at it regardless of the consequences, then it can happen. it's taken 5 of my years to resolve thta chapter, and sometimes i still wonder if it's even really over.

but for the most of things, i guess we're in the same boat of only seeing hope in travel, as it being one of the only things we truely want to do with our lives right now.

i come closer to truely leaving every single day, and will when i know it's right...

Whoa I write some pretty deep $h!te. Well time for an update then.
Sitting back reading this thread for the first time since I started it, I've realized a few things;
-That I think I did transend a few of the walls we put between ourselves. With the langauge and passion that not only I used but also with the power of some of the resposes that came back to me. Weather they be out of concern for my wellbeing(for which I'm still greatful for), Or someone screaming "yay I might be alone, but others are alone too so we can all be alone together!!!". So atleast we got something in common.
-That while it's been a long time since all the pieces of myself have been held together by well power and not duct tape. I still like being me, scars and all.
-And unfortunately I also decided that this place was part of the problem and not the solution. Sorry guys but it's true(atleast in my case). I was using the boards has a form of the most intense escapisim. Instead of dealing with the problem I hid from it here. It wasn't much different from crawling into a bottle(Minus the debilitating physical effects of course). I kept posting about it and telling myself that it was getting better, and all the while it was just gaining pressure to reach critical mass before it blew. And when the dust cleared there I was standing in the middle of a fallout crater. And the strangest thing of all when I brushed the dust I was still in one piece. A few new scars here and there to be sure, but nothing that couldn't be fixed with soap,water and a band-aid. The worst side effect was having to learn to be me again. It was rough for a while. However it was survivable and I think I came through it alittle stronger. Had to reopen some old wounds to remind myself what caused them and take a long and painful trip down memory lane. There's a reason we leave certin things behind us but we should never truly forget them because then whatever sacrifices we made to learn those lessons will have been in vain.
The result of all this;
-I'm still a vagabond and while I've learned that may be what I am it's not all of who I am.
-I'll alway's be alittle homesick, weather I staying still for while or on the road. Because I can never truly have both.
-And while I'll always be somewhat alone, lonely that's fixable the trick is being able to tell the differance.
-The saddness well..... there's not to much I can do about that because for all I've gained, when I'm all by myself in the dark I still ache a little bit for what I've lost. Ahhh ce la vie
Now while I still advise people to keep stock in duct tape it's nice not to need it once in a while. and let it be known that while I did this without help from others it was because I chose to. But a person never needs to work things out solo. You have to decide weather or not you want help then you have to ask for it(that's the hard part).

I came across a quote a while back and kinda fits the thread (just wish I could remember who wrote it)
"There's no such thing has happiness just moments of pre-solitude, because it's only n those time of solitude that we know we were happy."

Just remember solitude is a choice.

E.

quote:

Originally posted by E.:
-That I think I did transend a few of the walls we put between ourselves

Good reminder here - many of our difficulties are due to walls we ourselves put up; thus, it rests in our hands to fix them or work through them - many times, no one else can help us out! I've thought a lot recently of perceptions, and how it's so easy to get stuck in a certain perception/view - when you can just tweak your brain circuits a bit, and re-route thought patterns, and start viewing things differently. Just an example. ;-)

quote:

-And unfortunately I also decided that this place was part of the problem and not the solution. Sorry guys but it's true(atleast in my case). I was using the boards has a form of the most intense escapisim. Instead of dealing with the problem I hid from it here.

That makes two of us. One reason I'm on the boards much less than I used to be.

quote:

because I chose to. But a person never needs to work things out solo. You have to decide weather or not you want help then you have to ask for it(that's the hard part).

Yep, you never have to go it alone. In some cases it may be the only way to go (after all, the bulk of growth/change rests on the self) - however, I'm a huge fan of talking through things w/ friends and others. It helps to have someone to converse with, and get feedback from. And you'll also realize in doing so that almost everyone goes through similar things.

quote:

I came across a quote a while back and kinda fits the thread (just wish I could remember who wrote it)
"There's no such thing has happiness just moments of pre-solitude, because it's only n those time of solitude that we know we were happy."

I don't know if I agree w/ this or not!! For I find I can be quite happy on many occasions!! Perhaps this quote refers to that special kind of happiness, which is more of a spiritual happiness, which I tend to get when I'm in solitude - but more of a contentment, being at peace, 'life is truly grand,' joyful sort of feeling. I dunno!

Nice post, E! Glad you're doing better!

It's only been mentioned a couple of times before - but y'all may be interested in the cult hit (Filmed in Portland - train station too!)

What the Bleep Do We Know. If you can get past the fact that Ramtha (Can u say cult? in WA State!!!) is one of the speakers...she does have a few good nuggets. Lots of other "reputable" scientists too. Though considering where science has taken us in the world...I always like to be skeptical...suit and tie or fancy robe.


Or even better...a book I just read -

WHY WE LIE - talks about self-deception and the unconscious mind. (2004) I just wrote a review on Amazon.

Next book soon - Taking the Red Pill....talks about real life Matrix.

If this thread is still active I figure I myswell share my recent and continuing quest for that happy place where I can call home.

As of lately I feel the society I live in becoming more and more alien and machine like than ever before.At first and early on in my life I really tried my hardest to fill the void by either fitting in or trying to feel complete with material goods,but it just never quite worked.

Whether I wanted to be "the average joe" or not the fact is i'm not that type as no matter what circumstances arise I still feel somethings missing or theres something out there more meaningful that I should be involved with,something more beautiful and pure.

I can remember I was always the seeker type as for some reason I just never felt my definition of a dream life being related to societys definition of one at all,and I still don't.Actually the more days that pass by the more I further my self from society's ways and the more I seek out something or somewhere I truely belong.

It's not even the people I dislike or anything I always seem to come across alot of great people i'd like to get to better know but unfortunatly when we start to talking there just isn't a really strong connection.I will say though the few I do meet that do have the seeker state of mind I really am glad to have met as there the only type I feel I can relate to on a deep level.

I'm sure all seekers can relate to this as it's that same drive for something more or out of the norm that ultimitely makes us choose that rough but somehow profoundly rewarding path or "the road less travelled".

If you search for a thread called - Jante Law - in the members forum...there are 10 statements there....read them...and convince yourself to believe in them. Because when you do...an interesting thing may happen...

I understand them alot better now than when I posted them - but I don't want to get into the reasoning behind that yet.
In fact I find them so true. They seem potentially counter-intuitive. Other neighboring Scandinavian countries I don't think/surmise have a full understanding of why it is good to believe them. From a society standpoint perhaps, but not a personal one.

of note - where those 10 statements come from...Denmark... clocks in as the happiest (and 3rd overall - behind Puerto Rico and Mexico - which have different, but similar reasons I suspect) well to do country in the world...by a country mile. The last late 90s poll data I saw showed them score 65/100 on a well developed and long running (Since the early 1970s) happiness/life satisfaction poll.

In fact they are the only European country to have become appreciably more satisfied in life. Others are stagnant, trending down, or slightly higher.

The next country was the Netherlands at 45/100. France and Italy clocked in at 12 - read crappy. My guesstimate of where the USA would have scored is in the low 30s. Probably now below that due to new economy bust, and 9/11, Iraq, etc...

Canada a bit higher than the US.

Cheers