BootsnAll Travel Community

I think we've screwed up a relationship of 4.5 yrs by travelling and living too closely together. We spent 2 years living and working (also together) in a country where English wasn't a national language, and then celebrated by backpacking for 4 months in South america where it was challenging to have alone time.

What do other couples do while travelling?
Do you agree that it is unhealthy to spent SO much time together?
curious

Well, did you take time off and go and do your own things? I can't imagine being with someone 24 hours a day, no matter how much I dig em! I need time on my own...

Working, living and traveling together non-stop might be a bit much. I also suppose it depends on the people. If one person is very dependent on the other, I think that might be an issue.

However, that said, I think that it can be a really great experience to share your travels with an easy going, approachable, open minded partner.

PhotoChick

when my husband and I travel, we always do seperate things. Not as much as we would at home, but enough to continue to feel like we're individuals coming together as a team versus the same person. I think that everyone needs to be their own person, and that's hard when your only social outlet is the same person day in and day out.

We also read ALOT (we're nerds) and that gives us private time and discussion topics. Also, we split up tasks so we don't drive ourselves nuts with constant compromise and decision democracy--like he'll handle all travel arrangements for a few weeks with little input from me (and if I don't like it--tough!), then we'll switch. That way, we each get to take turns kicking back and enjoying the ride once and again and neither of us becomes control freaks.

Photochick's also right about dependancy. Relationships are rarely ever truly equal, but when one person is so much "bigger" than the other in the relationship, trouble's a brewin'

I hope you two can work things out--that's a lot of time spent together to let go of

cs

Amen, guys.

Traveling with that special ol' someone rocks to share experiences, but if you don't get away from one another and do your own thing, explore your own interests and all that, well, I dunno, it'd have me searching for a gas can sooner or later.

It is great to spend so much time together. But even if you were at home, there are times where you need to do your own thing, be it roadtrip while she flies off somewhere, knit while she skydives, or go out with the boys while she has a night out with the girls.

That you two have been able to share so much as a couple, is wonderful - many couldn't even say that about their domestic lives! But acknowledging as well, that you need space and time to yourselves, is essential, and healthy.

Something that might help: sit down and list out things you each would like to do. What diverges? What is the same? From there, figure out how you each can get some times to yourselves, because we all need breathing room, and then come back together.

Cheers, Anthony - Eurail Blog.com
And yes, this marmoset still can be bribed with pints.