BootsnAll Travel Community

This is in response to Greycat's post..and all related...(Sorry Greycat...I didn;t mean to call you out..I am still kinda new to the board and am still not sure of the etiquette..just yet..)
Anyway, I was wondering if anyone met their significant other while traveling and what wound up happening? I am beginning to think that I was meant to meet someone in my travels overseas(I could be wrong of course..and you never know what may happen) However I kinda believe in fate a little bit, and think that this relationship thing is not happeneing for me now here in the U.S., for a reason (aside from the fact that I am picky..).....again..anything can happen.
Has this happened to anyone else? (there's NO WAY that I won't get a response to this one..)
I was just curious about how it happened and how you worked it out if you had to come back...any thoughts?

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

Of course things can happened. It has just happened to a colleague of mine (incidentally it was her last day in office today).

She met another Indian guy, based in San Jose, while on a tour (yep a tour of babbling tourists in Singapore). These two felt so out of place that they fell for each other (that is the corny joke doing the rounds of our office). Well, they are now officially engaged and my friend is off on a new adventure in another country.

And after all, during travel, one does reveal one's true self.... so we may just hear some spectacular news from you sooooooon

Indeed...thanks for the response..I was beginning to think that my post smelled bad..
any others?

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

no etiquette my friend...I'm glad someone picked it up...
the thing is that the future is what the future is. the future. not happening yet, so don't worry. especially about love.
Personally I think that love is one of the greatest things on earth.
Personally I think that love is one of the greatest things on earth.
there's a lot more to see and do than love out there.
"look for love and you will find it.
forget about love and it will show up at your door with roses and chocolates."
~grey

ok, so while in France many moons ago, I met a French guy who I kinda fell for (maybe not love, but it was something alright). We had the best time together and he showed me all around Paris. I left thinking that this might be the guy for me. We emailed and IM'd and called for weeks...

THEN, he came to stay with me in the U.S. What a friggin nightmare! It just wasn't the same, he had also lied about his age and was much younger than I thought (almost illegal for me, very scandelous). He could not adapt to any American customs and refused to even try, it was aweful (the least of which was him wearing a speedo at the beach--American guys just don't do that, and if they do, shame shame on them cause they know better...ok, so I'm shallow, whatever)! I was sooo glad when he left and I have taken mad shit from friends and family ever since about the whole ordeal.

I know that true love definitely exists on the road. But the lure of the "road romance" is so great that it can often be mistaken for the real deal.

Also, and I know that I'm going to get slammed for this one, cultural clashes can often totally destroy mutual feelings of love and attraction. A big example of this is how French and Italian men often tend to incorporate infidelity into their relationships, as if it's just a little after-dinner snack. I mean, American guys cheat too, but it's just different with some European cultures, like cheating on your significant other is an acceptable given, not a mistake.

ok, go ahead, rip me a new one, I stand by it all!!

cs

Hm..wow..thank you so much for the responses you guys...lots of good sutff..
Let me start with Greycat..
G.C.
I hear ya on the love thing, and I am not ready for it right now in terms of marriage..
I mean I am about to pick up and move around for a bit just to test the waters, and I don't see how that would work..anyway.
I was just kinda curious about it is all...and how others dealt with it.
However thanks for the insight....truly helpful indeed.

Menudio..
Wow..thanks for sharing..
it sounds kinda like what happens when you go to college with people and then you all graduate and then you run into them a year or so later, and all that you had to talk about was what you experienced in college days gone by. Not that it's exactly the same, but in a way I guess can kinda see where I am going with this. I hear you about the road romance....sounds like it's quite the lure..
I mean being in a different place (especially such as Paris, and then meeting someone that you kinda jive with...can totally make it seem like (along with the whole getting swept away by being in another country deal)...that you might have found someone special.
I mean I just get excited meeting people in the airport.
To me...the whole "falling in love" thing is not something that is going to happen over 2 weeks...(well it might, but not realistically anyway..) I think it comes with time, and what you two go through and all of that rhetoric.

As for the cultural clashes..(no slamming involved...) but it's definitely something to consider. Men (I am going to go out on a limb here and speak for all of us for a minute..) but men are kinda taught to treat women differently depending on where you are..(it's ok to take a mistress...wink wink nudge nudge...) so culturally speaking it's going come up as an issue.

See? I'm on your side on this one..
and actually some American men wear speedos to the beach...but they should be stomped in the nads for it..ok i'm done speaking for all men now...

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

well, I can say this. It's nice to have an intelligent and sensitive person speaking for us for once!

Likewise
(people)


"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

unless you're a professional swimmer or are swimming for exercise, mmmaaayyybbbeee a life guard, a speedo should never enter your wardrobe. There are many public pools in France where you're kicked out if you wear swim trunks---say what??? Even a girl wearing board shorts is not allowed. trippy

Love, or what we percieve to be love (usually just strong feelings, i.e., lust)is often interpreted contextually. Just like Moe said about growing apart from old college buddies--it's like certain "zones" allow us to relate to people we might otherwise have very little to do with.

When I let that French chump visit for a few weeks, I was suffering from a serious lack of impulse control. Had I waited and kept communicating with him from afar, eventually I would have seen that we were not a match.

tricky dicky

cs

So in essence if we all excersise a bit of prudence in the face of emotion than we'll all eventually see that the person that happens to be the target of said emotion is not as deserving of that emotion?

I find flaws in this milady. . . Of course true love takes time. but love can happen in a second. And what exactly makes that fleeting love any less important or special than a love that lasts a lifetime?
If it's just time than I'll take the fleeting, intense love every instance. nothing lasts forever, and to try to hold onto something that is temporary and pretend that it is boundless, is, well, romantic. nothin wrong with it. but nothing wrong with the other though...

Personally I think that people put too much into their idea of LOVE (angelic chorus please).

Personally maybe I just need some affection...who knows? it's all subjective anyway!

you make a pretty good point about fleeting love being just as important as the long lasting kind. Both play important roles in shaping us as humans. I guess the trick is how to deal when fleeting love turns to sour grapes, as it has often done throughout the ages (here I reference almost every Shakespeare comedy).

Though having experienced both, I personally think that the long lasting, patient kind is more rewarding and special. It's also harder work. Fleeting love is easier on the soul and heart, it's the "I would die for you" kind of love that's a doozy...

And now, back to the original subject, it would be interesting to hear some "met on the road now we're an item" stories...

cs

well, that's how my last lady and I met...the "one" per se...I was travelling through Santa Cruz and we met at a gathering of mutual friends. I wasn't at all looking...but then neither was she. we started a conversation that lasted for about 3 years. seriously, when we are together or on the phone we talk almost constantly--unless the situation requires otherwise.
i can't really remember how it all came together but sooner that later we were living together and fully in love. the long term kind too. It was liking finding that one person who understands you, the one who you can't resist physically, and the one who you match up intellectually and personality wise with, all in one person. perfection (or as close as humans get, mind you).
sadly, as it is when you want to be on the road...these things have to pause, and she's off travelling and soon I'll be off travelling, but....oooooh my heart does a little jump thing to think about it....maybe someday we'll travel together again. I doubt it. I'm sure our hearts will forget, as hearts and minds do, and we'll move on...but for now i at least have the memory. and a lot more for that matter, i'm sure as heck not complaining!! I'm super glad about being single...

(Ok here I go..)
.I can't belive the messages on this one..good stuff....and exactly what I was hoping for..some good old fashioned stimulating brain churning.
and I also can't believe how opportune this topic is. I just came back from talking/hanging with two friends of mine..and they were kinda in the dumps because all of their friends are on the road to matrimony, and they were kinda feeling sorry for themselves...(not in a pathetic way..but more like in a "why not me" kinda way.) I think that we have all felt a little lonely at times, but I think that this whole marriage craze is getting out of control in some respects. I mean it's almost as if people are so focused on getting married because a lot of other people our age are doing it, and that is the next logical step after getting a job and graduating college. For those of us who are not quite there yet, I know that I am thanksful for this time to focus totally on myself and what I want and where I want to be. I didn't realize it before, but am glad that I have now..meaning traveling. I think that this is such an important part of our lives and crucial for me at least,because if I am not happy with where I am, then how can I expect to be happy with myself and someone else.
For a lot of people that I know geting married they (the brides in particular) are all about the whole fanfare, the wedding fantasy if you will....the wedding and the arrangements and the guests and the bridal shower,...but what about the love?
I just think that there should be more time for the love (making it being in it...) before you take the next step...wether that time frame is 1 year or 10, it takes as long as it takes.
To me I also think that the term "love" is also thrown around like a pair of socks. "I met this guy/girl and we're in love.....I want be in love...etc." I think that there is this notion that it's perfect and I just don't think that it works that way..at least in a world where the laws of physics usually apply...and what goes up comes down most of the time. I think that the real test of being in love is the give and take and the willingness to say..let your partner travel if he or she wants (let them go..) because it's a part of them that was there before you met and denying that is like denying a flower the sun. (I'm babbling..) I guess that it's the great mystery that we just can't explain, quantify or simplify and it's not perfect..but once you have it/find it...it takes work and is worth it once you are ready for it.

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

Moe,

There was a bit of babbling in there

when it's worth it, it's worth it, hard work and all (hopefully, things are more easy then they are hard, I guess that's the real "love" goal).

OK, as far as brides being all about the fanfare--well, that just happens regardless of the level of love between to people. Sad to say, that I WAS one of those brides, of course, I'd been with my husband for more than 5 years at that point so that whole "love" thing was pretty well settled. I tried so hard not to be the psycho bride, but alas, the craziness came out...I think it was all that white, made me giddy

I know I know..
sometimes I get on a rant..and I can't stop..
I'll watch it next time..

As for the fanfare..
I am not saying that you should NOT enjoy and get carried away with it mind you..
I was just commenting about the marriage fantasy obsession that I see lots of people that I know going through...
but surely you should enjoy...

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

ok here's my thing for today about love.

Logically speaking, we exist in a universe. This universe has a few basic laws...things spin where they're supposed to and fall where they're supposed to and generally everything works pretty well.
Enter humans.
Humans can think and reason. And FEEL. hmmmm. so the humans created things to shape their reality and make sense out of it so that the reasoning part of their brain could keep functioning without multiple and messy explosions.
And so the humans created these things called concepts, like time, and right and wrong, and love.
are ya following?
Love is a concept that was created by human beings.
There is no "perfect" love unless we create it. There is no "right" love unless we create it.
I believe that love exists because I choose to believe that love exists, and it is whatever it becomes as a result of my beliefs and the person whom I am sharing said love with.
Therefore love is a cooperative effort of belief.
In essence, love is what you make it. If what you want is marriage and children; Run, go, be free.
If what you want is freedom; Run, go, be free.

make it what you want it to be.
Run. Go. Be free.

but if a tree fell in the woods and noone was around to hear it, would you still love trees?

wait...what?

ok

OK, the big question is (at least for me) how easily is love sustained whilst on the road??? I'd like to hear some stories from people who went on RTWs with their significant others (Sig Os, if you will), and how it all worked out. Did it bring you closer together or tear you apart? What lessons were learned? What did youlike/dislike? Was there room for real romance while trying to find a place to sleep everynight?

cs

Wish I could respond here..I haven't really had the experience..
I will say that I know from several people that it can truly be a bonding experience when you travel with someone, almost as if you are in sync...this coming from several friends, one of whom is now engaged to her travel-mate...

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

well...traveling with you partner isn't that different than living with your partner...but there's a few other things that come into play. . . emotions and senses are usually hightened when your on the road...so it's easier to get under eachother's skin...but on the other hand, the positive emotions are just as strong, and the romance flies like a host of hummingbirds for lovers that are discovering together. (holy shit that was cheesy)
anyway...traveling with someone is, to me, the ultimate test of compatability, and for me it provides an insight on what my partner really has down deep (besides me that is, hehe).
I can't imagine myself being with anyone that couldn't take care of themselves on the road, so my partners that i have travelled with have been great--but i've seen bad things happen too.
once again it all depends on the people.
one time tho---my lady and first real love and i took a few months to toodle around the states and canada...and every day was a serendipitous litany of light and beauty. seriously. it was absolute heaven. Everywhere we went we were recieved with open smiles and comments on how beautiful we were together, and everything came together like clockwork. people would look at us and see that i our little bubble, everything was perfect. i think people dig that...it gives em hope. anyway...if you all have a chance at this experience--go for it!
it was one of the better experiences of my life...and i won't forget that feeling, ever--even tho she's gone ( don't be sad--there's a whole ocean of fish out there!)...

hi folks!

Wow guys..thanks for posting to this one...
There seem to be lots of awesoem responses, and they seem to run the range from positive to negative.
Good stuff all..

Tits on a mother f**kin' Ritz!!!

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"