BootsnAll Travel Community

It's a good thing that I think that I'm funny.
And luckily my jerk roommate thinks I'm funny too or I'd be beaten to a pulp more that once a week.

How has society shaped me?
Weelllllll, that's hitting one of the major questions of developmental psychology right on it's half-formed head. As conscious beings we are a culmination of our experiences and our immediate environment, and our genetic buildup. Our experiences shape what we think about the world around us and interact with our genetic tendencies to create a "personality" that we show to the world. So in this sense the society we live in has a pretty large part in shaping who we are. e.g. if you grow up in an agricultural society your personality will most likely reflect an "earthy" sense, and your ideas about life will reflect a practical and straightforward line of thinking. Of course there are unique minds everywhere...but these unique minds are still affected by their surroundings (unless autistic or catatonic).
Personally I am really glad about this, cause I grew up in the friggin woods and farms most of the time, so I'm shaped, logically, by nature's beauty and cow shit. This gives me a strong sense of "Roots" (and a slightly tangy smell). I've observed friends that came from all different places and how they react to situations--after a while you can definitely tell where people come from!
anywho I'm sure I'm just babbling now.
by the way. I feel i must say this, this being a free thinking and open-mind forum:
Take everything everone says with a grain of salt, as it were (especially me)...I've seen too many brilliant minds lost to the world because they opened a bit too far and weren't ready...mostly lost on conspiracy theories and paranoia, but it can happen to the happiest of minds too.
peace,
grey

errrmmmmmm, not to imply that i get beaten to a pulp once a week. it's not that often, and not to a pulp. I can usually get away without getting bloody, and he gets his fair share of beatings too (if i've had a few pints before the altercation).
not at all to condone this type of behavior either...i just happen to live with a jerk, and have to make the best of the situation, which sometimes means sticking up for myself physically.
uhhh, dammit. said too much again.
ah well.

Society is such a fun thing - great to watch, hard to participate in, you know?

Society started off confusing me. Which it still does. I always thought it strange that people just took in pretty much whatever was chucked in front of them and never thought twice about it, and often never really seemed to do much to better themselves.

Then society irked me. I got a thicker skin, sharpened up my wits... wondered what it would be like if I did more of things I thought I should do.

Then I realized just how silly so much of it was. I haven't stopped laughing, but it can be extremely hard to take a lot of the world seriously sometimes.

I kept getting older - which works for me because the only currently available alternative ain't one I'm opting for - and all that just made me determined to try to follow what my heart and head and spirit told me.

So far, things are going quite... interestingly. I get scared about things sometimes, and sometimes there's stuff I take too seriously. Sometimes I forget to laugh. And then someone I care dearly about gives me a much-needed chuck to the head, and I start grinning. Or maybe society just made me a masochist

But society did help put me on the road. Reading had me so curious about what else was out there, and I always thought that there was more to life that just what I had seen so far, and I wanted - needed - to see. Ah, society. It helped take me to lots of places, and I've never once regretted doing anything else. It helped shaped my defiance and willingness to wonder. Society's nuts, in many a way. Thank goodness for it though - it's kept me willing to be a bit loony.

Cheers, Anthony - Eurail Blog.com
And yes, this marmoset still can be bribed with pints.

Friggin well said Ant!
i feel similarly, but i think my order was different..
society was not a part of my life until middle school at which time it totally baffled me. then in high school I couldn't believe what a silly place the world was! Then I got freaked out. for years I was pretty scared of what was going on in the world, and not too happy about it. BUT as always some wonderful person pops into my life at the right time and throws a life cream pie in my face and the tears of laughter roll...
And being a traveler...understanding that the world is mine to see, it's so hard to watch other, good, people rope themselves into a life they don't dig...or listen to people's mindless games and worries and such. but most of the times, these days, it's pretty funny.
ummmm. right. man a lot of these posts are pretty emotionally charged today!
Phew...breathe....

my biggest fear is falling spiders

Falling?

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

I have to question the falling spiders thing. i'm assuming you mean when they use their web as a ropey type thingy and hang down infront of you. am i right?

Have Fun,

Crittle

quote:

---

Originally posted by GreyCat:

...I notice people comparing instead of experiencing. Rarely are two moments alike, and still somehow people are able to find life mundane and boring...

---

I LOVE this quote. WOW.
So very true. And I feel like I've fallen into it, too. It's a way of distancing yourself from your life...living it in your head. Suddenly things become really big and ominous, when in fact, the future and fate and all that can turn in an infinite assortment of ways.

Who KNOWS??! I preach this to everyone...how can you predict the future? It NEVER works the way you think it will. Ever, ever, ever.

I ought to taste my own medication, of course! Want to make the leap this fall. The money is saved, (ok, the economy sucks)...what is it going to take???

check this out---
i was reading and thinking yesterday and this concept was brought up again for me:
I met a guy who seemed so utterly, well, blunt in everything he did. he was so there all the time. so focused in time, i should say. and i thought about how most people kind of swirl around their bodies in time, looking into the future to see what's coming, and then looking back to see what just happened, so that the moment always just eludes them, and they only experience life in the coming or going. And they want it this way. It's safe. this way you know what's going to happen next, because it already happened. living in the moment is extremely hard for most americans, because we're brought up in a society based on fear and consumerism, which is fueled by media. this combo makes a worthy adversary.
tangent: i would like to get accross to anyone reading this post, that not only is there no reason to be afraid of life, but there also is no reason to be ashamed of being afraid. it's the way a lot of us were raised, plus it's a natural human reaction to new stimulus.
anyway...i think i've said what i have to say. it's just so wild that so many people chose not to live, but choose to just sort of try to slip through life without being noticed.
shucks. i hope someone notices my shit.

grey, I'm noticing!
it's so great that travelling and philosophy act hand in hand. You wouldn't think it'd be so, but it does. maybe b/c travel affords you many different points of view, many vantage points?
I see what you're saying about this swirling thing, this constant monitoring: where am I? where am I going? am I on the right 'track'? what's coming up next? what next, goddammit??
I'm plagued by this fear, I freely admit. Yet rationally I know it's b.s. I guess part of it is yes being afraid, but knowing what it is you're afraid of. 'Failure' in the traditional sense?
we all experience life as time goes on. It's a given. But there are those days, moments or whatever where you REALLY experience it. Where the experience moves you, like out of your skin! and you think, my god, I wish I could have that every day! sometimes it's the moment, sometimes it's the person you're with.
but since we still keep experiencing, life doesn't seem so horrible when just 'slipping by'. it's like eating a popsicle stick one day and then eating HaagenDas the next. You don't realize what you're missing, unless you force yourself.
I need to come to this site more often! great, inspirational stuff, all of it!

well done!
I'm glad that i'm making a bit of sense! So often the fear for me is that I'm just a silly kid who thinks too much, you know? like, maybe i should just not worry about it and get on with my life...but this IS my life, you know?
anyway---i maynot get to post again for a month or two, but take care all--and keep yourselves goin!
peace and blessings,
grey

well, I've reread this whole thread and am amazed. So much stuff to be learned here, and a lot of you seem so...brave to me.

This morning I woke up and perhaps was feeling the constraints of society on me. (Maybe it has to do w/ being at home w/ my parents in a nice suburb for the weekend?) I felt kinda peculiar, and wished I could just cram myself into a box, that all my problems could be solved that way. Why can't I be 'normal' with the job, climbing the ladder, after getting my two degrees? Of course, this is not the case.

I'm sure with time, things'll work themselves out.

cheers to all!

I think that in a good way you have realized that you are not content with the status quo. and ou have realized that there is so much more to your life than what is going on now.
So now the next step is to see what can become of it.
The thing is norn, making a change like quitting and trying something different doesn't happen overnight much as some of us would like to make that happen. Instead it takes a lot of planning and this actually takes months. So the fear might be there, but then it replaced with a comfort factor of knowing that you have a backup just in case. So in other words, I don't consider myself that brave compared to other people, I just am trying to follow my heart, and it's pointing me down this path for some reason, and at this point in my life, I am willing to leave it to the fates (with a little backup planning just in case..)

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

thanks, mo. keep it going! putting it in perspective helps a lot. all too easy to look for instant gratification.

I think there must be so many idealists on this board. And yet, how does that mesh with the realism/reality of being out there, travelling?

I had a minor revelation ytd that I won't bore everyone with. Let's just say that I think these minor milestones of self-acceptance come at the strangest times, when you might not expect them. It's just timing is all. You can't will them to happen.


and hello? how many of us here swear this site is powered by 'Infopoop?!!!!'

i think the thing is, when you're static, you kind of have to wrap yourself in idealism to deal with the mundaneness and tragedy of everyday life (i know that sounds paradoxical, but think for a sec and you'll se the relation).
however, while traveling, you have to let go of the idealism and find the beauty that you created in a staic life, already present in a kinetic life.
realism can be just as beautiful as idealsim, but you have to let go of the predjudices and fears and all that.
instant gratification....good work--that's what this country thrives off of...and if you can get around it, sheesh, more power to you.
peace and blessings to you all...
grey

So many ideas where to start? Yes, society can be very confining. There is definitely this drive in the U.S. to make the big bucks, own a nice car, buy a house, settle down and have a family. Well I'm not doing so well myself considering I work at a gas station, I don't own a vehicle (or I should say my rusted piece of junk truck doesn't run right now), I don't own a house, and I have no intentions of starting a family. I think there is a certain stigma against people that don't want these things in life. But I'm a hell of a lot happier now than I had been when I had a better job or when my truck ran. I think that is one thing that travel teaches us or reminds us of, that having more things doesn't make us happy. There is this part of Celestial Prophecy that suggests that in human history when we lost our faith we were now free to explore the world for answers. We looked to science and exploration but weren't able to explain everything. Thus we became restless, that feeling of missing something that Mo mentioned. So, in the meantime while we try to figure the meaning of life we might as well make ourselves as comfortable as possible. Therefore, the big houses, the fast cars, the expensive clothing, the cell phones, and computers. But we've been stuck in this stage so long that we've forgotten that we are looking for anything. We've mistaken the quest for materialistic things as our meaning in life. And fear is definitely a factor in this. I think a lot of people are scared to leave these comforts behind and explore the world and theirselves because these comforts are the only thing they know. I know I often have to remind myself of this when I am feeling lost. I never really know where I'm going but that's okay. It's makes it easier to enjoy the stereotypical lower points in life, like working at a gas station. At first I was bummed to the point of tears that my college degree has done me so much good that the only job I was able to get was at the frickin gas station. But now I actually love it. There is no stress, no expectations. I can make enough to live on but not focus my whole life around my job. I can go back to school or just play in my free time. I'm getting tired and I don't think I'm saying what I mean. I've switched from thinking of a fear of travel to a fear of failure. My way to combat my fear of failure is not to strive to achieve. It isn't to buy more stuff and be more financially secure, but it is a sort of patience and openmindness. To be happy with where you're at but not commited to it. That way when something presents itself on a moments notice you can jump. Does any of this make sense? It's all right to suffer through that high paying corporate bull-shit if your willing to give it up when the time presents itself. It is a problem when you forget how to let go. I guess it is one fear vs. the other. Fear of change vs. fear of failure or can it be one in the same? But I agree with Greycat that fear is one ugly factor in this world and it's always a struggle. Right now I am stuggling with my fear of motorized vehicles. I am 25 and cannot drive a stick shift for the life of me. Whenever I try I have bouts of pure panic. I don't know how I ever soloed a plane but that damn panic is why I didn't get that license either. All I can do is keep practicing between panic attacks and laugh about it after I finally learn. I think I'm getting delerious from lack of sleep. Sorry if this doesn't make any sense. Good night.

kt - if you put your mind to it, you can do anything. If you want to drive stick and overcome the anxiety, it is definitely possible!

It's tough. I think everyone here wants such great things, and we can only do the best we can with what we have. Fear is there, yeah, and it takes time, sometimes timing, and other stuff to get over it.

I'm gonna try and track down The Alchemist this weekend, since I've heard so much about it. I think as long as we're trying to push against the walls of our life, it's good. You sound like you're in a good place.

best to ya

Wow..kt quite a post..
I agree with you on many points. I think thayt basically it's a matter of trying the thing that you are most afraid to do, because in the long run you can say that you tried and failed rather then not trying at all. If you don't try at all, you've already failed.
As for the Alchemist, it's definitely worth a good read, the story might not be for everyone, but there is definitely a central message there that we can all learn from. Every now and again I go back to it and look at the sections that Ihave highlighted and it reminds me of what we forget lots of times from day to day.

"Happiness is to know when you've found it"

did you follow it with the pilgrimage by any chance?
also worth a read. it opened me back up like a can of fresh spam.
cann ya smell what i'm cookin?

The only thing that scares me about taking off is the idea of coming back and having nothing. Coming back and being unable to find a job or being able to move on past the travels.

I know I want to 'settle down' eventually, but to me settling down means something else. It means finding a real job that will let me take a leave of absence if needed, it means actually getting a place to live and overcoming my fear of lease signing.

I guess I'm scared of heading off and then when I return finding that the rest of the world has gone on without me and knowing that I will have to play catch-up. But I don't really have anyone to play catch-up to, except to my own thoughts. I also don't think that makes sense to anyone except me - but I guess I want to make sure that when and if I head off, I won't be returning to nothing. Going on my exchange in January 2005 is playing with those fears a bit, since I won't have a co-op job set up before I leave, and I'll be overseas more or less just hoping that a job will work out somewhere and I'll fulfill that requirement.