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I don't even know how to start this. I'm just ranting about losing friends.I detest it!!!!!.

I've buried friends and there's not much anybody can do about that. except move on and not forget them. I've had them move away on me. And all you can do there is try to keep contact. Doesn't always work but you can try. I was forced to move away on my friends. And that is why I don't have any "childhood friends" anymore.

But the worst is when they just change on me. All of a sudden I suffer the "Black Death". And they don't talk to me any more. It's Not even like their not my friend anymore. It's that I'm not their's. And there's not a damm thing I can do about it. And this wouldn't bother me so much except it the #1 way I lose friends.

And I just want to know why?

E.

Ps I know this could go somewhere else but I don'y know where so feel free to move has fit.

Sorry E. I don't know whats going on with you and your ex-buds. Harsh as it is, if you're the common factor in all the friend-losing, then maybe some inner searching? Or maybe they're all jerks

hey, I totally sympathise, one of my closest friends who i had known forever, just went and changed all her values, morals, perceptions and basically totally sold out. And now for some strange reason, I'm so not cool enought to hang out with her. It sucks!!!

My best friend of eight years won't even look at me these days. He won't return the calls either. Walking in a mall the other day he was going to cross my path but before I got within range of signaling him he slipped into a store with his girlfriend.
And to tell you the truth, I don't know whats happened between us. But we've both done a bit of changing. And maybe we're both better for it, although it is very unnverving.

"Love is rarer than genius itself. And friendship is rarer than love."
Charles Pierre

It takes a lof of effort and thought to be a good friend and some people aren't up to the challenge.
I think its very easy for people to be more concerned with themselves then with others, even those they call friends. Life happens, things change...you refocus...and sometimes friendships evaporate.

It sucks losing a friend...more so when it's unexplained. I've had similar things happen to me and I've come to realize that I have many more aquaintances then true friends.

Having met you, let me just say, you're a kick-ass guy! Great energy flowing in that heart of yours. I'd count myself lucky to call you a friend.

"Relationships reshape themselves like bonsai plants in the strange small spaces where they are planted" -Emily Nussbaum

Well, this is something that hits close to home for me, and I guess for everyone. I think all of us really crave, and yearn, for really deep, meaningful, rich relationships, and I think the reality of it is that these are few and far between. It makes me rather melancholy just thinking about it - that it doesn't happen often. Honestly, for me I can count these relationships on one hand - these would be people I KNOW love me and accept me no matter what - three friends, and one very recent ex (which I realize might not count because once he's married and/or I'm married the relationship won't continue necessarily..but I know in my heart that it will. uh..make sense? hmm). Then I have a handful of friends that are 'maybes' - meaning I don't know if it's a true friendship in the lifelong sense.

Well anyway, you're not alone E. I was musing over the friends thing the other night. I moved away from a best friend in 3rd grade, I had a best friend in 4th/5th who ditched me in 6th grade because I wasn't cool enough, I had another best friend in 8th grade who ditched me in 9th grade because I wasn't cool enough..and I think that's unfortunately how it is. The real friends are oh so precious, and rare. It's kinda bittersweet.

Yep, I'm thinking about the same things.
I've invited 'friends' to a farewell party/gathering/whatever for when I leave in a few weeks. Most of these a people Ive known since primary school (like, first grade I think you say). And not just friends that I knew then and dont have any contact with. We're all in different towns but we still get together probably once a month for birthdays and celebrations and just hanging out. Weve all made it through highschool together so have been through alot.

I'm going indefinitely so I wont see these people for at least a year, who knows, maybe five. And a certain few have rsvp'ed saying they think they'll be too busy with work commitments, moving etc. Maybe Im being selfish but its on a weekend! I know I'd make it a priority to say goodbye to a close friend. Just pisses me off. Wow, this post is a good place for a rant.

Ah so, let me calm down. Basically E. I cant answer your question and I dont know you but if you are a good person, and you're the only one making a whole lotta effort then they are most likely not worth it. Sad but true.

I only have 2 really good friends. Friends that I know understand that there are good sides to me and bad sides to me. And vise versa.
They accept the whole part of me and want to hang out even when I'm not all smiles.
Laura and Janet. Those are my two really good friends.
The rest over the years have faded away...
but I've known both of them for about 10 years.

One of my friends recently has proved that I am only of worth to her when her boyfriend isn't around. She is so selfish and got mad at me for not being at her beckon call the umpteenth time she broke up with her 'man'. Oy!
Not a very good friend.

You sound pretty cool E...maybe it's just they don't 'get' you. Real friends 'get' you and you cannot grow apart from them because the core of you, the part that they love, never changes.

Having met you, let me just say, you're a kick-ass guy! Great energy flowing in that heart of yours. I'd count myself lucky to call you a friend.
Liz

You sound pretty cool E...maybe it's just they don't 'get' you. Real friends 'get' you and you cannot grow apart from them because the core of you, the part that they love, never changes.
Prisa

Ladies you have brightened my life. I do have some friends that I'll never have to worry about losing. And like one of them says "Good friends help you move. Best friends help you move bodies"

E.

Well, I've learned that everyone usually does change or grow in some direction or another as time goes on. If you have continuing things to teach/learn from each other or are growing in the same direction, the friendship lives through it. Otherwise, it naturally ends.

As far as a friend abruptly changing and neglecting you....doesn't sound like she was a real friend to begin with. You may miss her, but that's probably what you THOUGHT you had with her, you know? It might not really have been there to begin with and you can now look forward to opening up to new people that have more to offer the path you're on.

And I have had to "leave" my friends in the past at different times. It just meant I was continuing to grow, usually getting more in touch with my dreams and how to accomplish them, while my so-called friends just wanted to stay in their typical places complaining about how they weren't happy. After a few times of trying to sit with them and bring them along, open them up a bit, or just wanting them to understand what I was learning and excited about, I found that they just refused to budge. They wanted to stay in the same place and couldn't understand my need to change at all. That's when the friendship fades away all together.......but sometimes, you end up growing together again.

The more I travel and the longer I live, the more I'm able to tell the difference, sometimes upon first meeting, between those that will be acquaintances and those that I might not even be able to live in the same country with but will see again and again and well into the future. You learn to detect your compatibility and sense if they like to grow and learn as you do.

It is really tough to lose a friend and I have experienced it quite often due to the continuous movings from one house to another. However I finally found my buddy 7 years ago and although studying at different schools we have been unseperable. Always we meet twice a week and we do not keep secrets.Sometimes however when he does not call me back or I when don't call him back we never get angry at each-other because "friends are like stars...you cannot see them all the time but you know they are out there". He had been always there for me and I for him. My advice? Choose your friends carefully and don' t call friend a person that just have the same interests with you.

There are three types of friends: 1)Buddy (only one person can be your buddy and has to be a long time with you since he proves that he can belong in this "class")
2)Close friends (they have been with you for a period of time but you can't say that you know them completely, yet)
3)One-use friends, like in Fight Club (they work with you in the same office and you just chatter with them) Thanks