BootsnAll Travel Community

I landed in christchurch from cambodias 37 degrees to 5degrees in nz i still had my jandles on and a singlet and had to rumage through my overloaded bag for some kind of warm top. Its quiet I thought I already miss drivers shouting lady lady, why had I returned, the first week was a downer, I should not have come back its to soon. I realised I had to return back to life here somehow and with those who have been to S E A know how can it not affect who you are and who you will become. It has been 3 months since my return and I am still restless and in a constant daydream about my adventures and well actually rather confused about where I stand in life what is life meant to be like, all those what is my spirit telling me type of questions and prolonged thoughts. Not all paths are filled with magic, the ones that arn't may lead to it.

'your thoughts create your reality'

Your not alone - all returning travellers suffer the blues. Ive been back 4 months and still feel confused by it all and exactly why we return ?.

What I've realised is the more you see and experience on the road the harder it is to accept settling back into your old life that escaping from in the first place was such a joy.

Roamings in the blood now, plan your next great escape and stay sane.

I usually feel ok for the first few weeks. Meeting friends and family, having no obligations (I usually burn the bridges before I leave), full of ideas and energy to change things. Then after around 1-2 months I realize: they won't change. It won't change. And then it hits me. Then I look for a professional/educational challenge and emerse in that. Which provides satisfying distraction for a few months. Depending on how much I can travel in between...it usually takes about 2-3 years, till I need to get out of there. And the more often I do it, the worse it gets. So I guess, that's why I don't want to go back 'home' now...

a.

This is a post I was looking for. I returned from RTW in 2002 feeling elated and free. When I realized how I had changed, how noone else had and even worse how they all had no interest in the new me, I became very depressed. This lasted for a long time...I finally adopted a dual personality: the "old me" for friends and family, the "new me" when, if by chance I met someone who I thought had even a minute understanding of something bigger than the daily grind.

I sound like a religious revival here...

anyway, like elAdi, you kind of get back into it, immerse yourself in a project and get the hell out again as soon as possible.

reverse culture shock is a bitch.

chrissy

Mmm...just got back a few weeks ago and began to wonder what do i do now? Do i settle down and put my nose to the grind for a long time in hopes to establish a life here or do i become a permanent non-permanent nomad? Or work a few years here and than back to travel and the cycle continues? If you want clarity in your life than dont travel because you will end up more confused when you get back to whatever it was your coming back to, but i didnt go for clarity. Yet i need to feel as if belong somewhere in some group a community but its getting harder as my life is becoming more diverse, sporadic and international. Im 23 yet sometimes i feel older than some of my moms friends in experiences...yet still so infantile in some things. Its funny i traveled for such a long time and was always moving, i loved movement sometimes i would just catch a train when i was in a city for too long to feel like i was going somewhere. But you can move being still too...Sometimes i dont know why i travel and feel like ive shed my skin, im a new snake now i guess. But while i was evolving i forgot to notice that everything around me was evolving too. Ive traveled for so long i lost all my friends back home, after i graduated from school everyone went to other places i went around the globe. Even if i reconnected if wouldnt be the same. And sure i have friends from travelling but emailing is not the same and far in few in between. So im stuck in this never ending novel of fantasmical dreams and adventures based upon reality, the reality now slighty askewed, bewildered, and awake but hopeful, oh so hopeful for the future.

toucansam,
your snake analogy is excellent. i can relate.
you are at a big crossroad in your life. sometimes having many choices is more difficult than only have a few. you are so lucky to have such an incredible perspective that as you noted, many people much older than you will never understand. That's ok. It's also ok that if you contacted your old friends that it wouldnt be the same because that is the nature of life whether you travel or not, it is never the same. Reconnect with them.

I want to give you some really great unopinionated advice here, but my gut is yelling out "TELL HER TO TRAVEL MORE!" You are young, unencumbered, and are obviously a true traveler. Keep on going. Incorporate travel into your life. Get your TOEFL, go teach english overseas. Now go!go!go!!

(note: this is coming from someone who has been "home" far too long)

toucansam,
you summed up my thoughts exactly. I am also 23 and feeling the same kinds of ups and downs. My advice to anyone in our situation would be...plan your next trip as soon as you have the money!! We don't have any major commitments yet...jobs, family, pets, ect. that can keep most people tied down and only able to leave for a couple weeks at a time. We probably won't get another opportunity to travel like this until we're retired!!!! So, I am making the most of my time now until I feel ready to have a family. Even though its very unsettling not being...settled. We have our whole lives to feel that. right now, the confusion, uncertainty, spontenaity..is only helping me find out who i am.

plus all my parents friends say...
' DO IT WHILE YOU CAN!!! WE WISH WE DID AND NOW WE CAN'T!!!!' and, even if i dont agree with them politically..this i will agree with haha.

toucansam,
Im 23 and in the exact same situation. The worst is when you come back telling people you want to leave again, then them telling you, it aint so bad settling down, having kids, getting a carear, just scary stuff if you ask me! No ones changed anyways when I returned and its just depressing......

I can remember how I felt after my study abroad semester... and that was only a semester! We traveled every weekend and for some weeks after. I came home and felt completely weird.. didn't turn my cell phone on for a week. Didn't drive my car for that long as well. I started downsizing my belongings bc I didn't need them (i just survived on much less). I pined for leaving again. 3 years later, still planning on leaving, but at least now I have a plan. Can't imagine how I'll feel after this trip tho!

My best friend (who I've known since I was 3) began travelling when she was about 18, and she would always come home and find it so hard to fit back in with everything - people, work, day-to-day living. Travelling always changed her, gave her a new perspective, helped her to see more clearly what she valued and what wasn't so important. Often the people at home complained that she didn't have direction, wasn't pursuing a career, didn't plan her life properly.............

I didn't really understand how hard it was for her until I started travelling - I only went for a short break but that first time I got back to work I felt alienated, unable to communicate with people; it was impossible to have conversations about 'funding applications', team meetings and photocopier toner!!

I don't know that there is an answer - each person's journey, physical and emotional, is there own, and I don't think that it ever ends. My friend is still travelling, though now she always 'checks in' with friends and family in England every so often so that she can cultivate a 'base' and reflect a little.

For me, it took a while but eventually I gave up my reasonably lucrative and stable job because I just couldn't work in an environment that was so different and conflicted with the new way that I saw life. I have little money, but I can travel freely (even with a husband!!!!LOL), do the work that I really enjoy (writing and TEFL, with a little bit of cleaning/cafe work to boost the income when I need it!!) and feel that I'm happy within myself.

When you have a feeling deep inside you, then you just have to follow it and see where it takes you. Once you travel you realise that it doesn't answer all your questions, just leads you to ask a million different ones!

People tell me that those who travel are 'lost' and directionless. Yes, we are, but we're some of the few people who know that we're lost and who make an effort to enjoy the experience! Better to open the door, leap onto the path and to start an amazing and complicated journey than to spend your life safely inside and never taste the wonder of the roads of uncertainty......................

It is nice to read this and find I am not the only one experiencing such a shock. I was away for only 2 months and was excited to return to the comfort of home BUT when I got home it felt strange. It still feels strange. I am 28, back in school and back to work. The difference? Many things don't interest me anymore. My friends do not get it and keep saying I will return to "normal" soon and things will be fine. Well I don't want to return to "normal". It did not work for me before and I like the new me. Unfortunately as someone stated it is hard to communicate with the people around me and I feel isolated.

Ah well I will work toward the future and the next adventure. It will keep me sane.

My longest run was three years WTR ten years ago... and I haven't fully reintegrated yet!

Of course the daily grind of work and necessities of home give me a veneer of normalcy, but deep inside I'm still the nomad with her backpack, whose best years were spent on the road.

When I first came back I was lost... I'd come from Ethiopia and Eritrea into the bustle of Rome. I stood frozen at the stoplights, not quite remembering what I was supposed to do with all those cars. Eventually I got back into the rhythm of urban life but I was changed.

I craved the freedom of the road - the ability to stay or leave, to go north or south, to be friendly or solitary, to read or write, to ride or walk... Society's rules are incompatible with my kind of overt freedom - I still get an occasional taste of it, but only internally. My soul may feel some freedom but the rest of me is weighted.

And I live for my next journey.

I haven't even returned home yet, but am already unsettled in the thought that I may have to one day. Since I was 18, I could not stay in one place for to long and tend to move throughout the US almost yearly, and took a job that kept me on the road. I have finally expanded my travels internationally. I need to keep it going. I just NEED to! I am sitting comfortably in a Costa Rican hostel, with a job, and spend my days searching out the next destination. I honestly hope I never find myself in your situation....back home

i find myself sometimes adjusting to traveling and not being home. A true home will always be there when you need it. i guess we need to find a home in ourselves before we can worry about going back to a physical place. not trying to get to deep.

[QUOTE] We have our whole lives to feel that. right now, the confusion, uncertainty, spontenaity..is only helping me find out who i am.


couldnt have said it any better.

Hello,

Just a thought I wanted to add to this wonderful discussion. Life abroad is a sudden journey into ourselves. For the first time we are gathering information from within ourselves rather outside. Suddenly you have perspective and a perception of yourself and a grander picture of the world. This is beautiful. Instead of falling into the world of blues embrace your change.

Instead of seeing all the faults as a negative. Look at this new found perception as a gift to change someone(s) life or work place. Find a new way of inspiring a new way of thinking for others in your place. Embrace change around you as well as the change within.

Yes, I'm being kind of preachy but I figured I just lend a suggestion. Best wishes to you all on your journey.

Have a nice day.