BootsnAll Travel Community

It is comming slow and it is scarying me out how difficult is to find some answers. When I first read the questions I though it could not be that hard...
you will get more feed back from me in a day or two.. hopefully I manage to have at least the most basic questions done.
Gabi

I'm going to join you guys...so you may feel free to share your list as well.

My likes...and dislikes:

Starting with my Likes:

caring, loving, sharing, generous, honest, open, sincere, credible, people

a good woman...a great cook...someone who doesn't mind doing, that which I don't...like cleaning etc.

meeting interesting people...sharing with others informally/socially..a multi course meal with friends..

a good message, back rub, foot rub, or shoulder rub.

a hug...a babies touch...cuddling...laying in a dog pile with lots of frisky lovable puppies...a lovers caress...

ethnic spicy food...shell fish...a great steak...BBQ...candy!!!!...a great ethnic deli...huge buffets...pot lucks...lots of different tastes...appetizers...curries...thai...all my favorite foods!!!

"personal strokes"..kudos..acknowledgements...ata boys...thank you's...appreciation...love...encouragement!

freedom...choices...experiences...learning...personal growth...spiritual awareness...creative expression...sense of well being...peace of mind...creative projects...something to shoot for...goals...accomplishments

budget travel...tropical islands..beaches..sense of community..being a part of something bigger than I...love of God...the under dog-who gives it his all...a great movie...book...song...play...more to follow!

All of the above plus:

Recieving help from a stranger.

Seeing family and friends again after a long break

Sleeping under a star bright sky

Clean sheets and your own bed upon return from a camping holiday

Here's my answer to part 2:

2. EVERYTHING I WANT TO DO IN THIS LIFETIME --->> HOPES, DREAMS, FANTASIES, GOALS

-Travel to Ireland, France, Italy, Norway, Germany, Czech, possibly other European countries...
-Travel to New Zealand and Australia
-Travel to parts of Africa (with a group, or with someone else, though)
-Travel to parts of Central/South America (with a group/someone else)
-Travel to Pacific Islands - not sure which ones at this point!!!
-Travel to Bhutan/Thailand???
-Meet my soulmate
-Get married, have children, raise them in a wonderful environment..raise them as unique individuals.
-Have a home in the mountains
-Make a living on my own - not have to answer to a supervisor, or a company - be my own boss.
-Make an impact on the world - by writing something, or by artwork, or photograpy, or something...be KNOWN.
-Have good friendships throughout my life.
-Sell some paintings
-Be published
-Be respected - be someone people can trust, and people come to for strength/growth/a listening ear...be valued by others, as myself, and take pride in who I am, and what I do.
-Be able to live 'freely' -- my own schedule, my own 'work' hours, having a job that isn't a job, perhaps living in a natural setting, with a partner though, painting, working off the land, living in sync with the land, but having enough stability to afford medical stuff and other practicalities....and travel...
-Having a job that is meaningful to me - that I value, that involves work that is important to me and lines up with my values and passions, that allows me to feel like I'm making a contribution, and I'm worth something, that doesn't seem like a job, but rather life....
-Find a community of like-minded individuals that I can share my life with, or that I become friends with, so that I don't feel completely alone
-Photograph as many of the North American bird species that I can.
-Surround myself with people who have positive influences on my life, not people who bring me down. Stop forcing relationships to happen; if they need to be forced or worked hard on, or if I put more into them than the other person does, then they're most likely a 'bad fit.' Start seeking out good fits.
-Continue growing as a person. Read books. Don't allow myself to stagnate. Read history, philosophy, fiction, science, anything and everything. I just can't allow myself to not do anything for a year or more. It's too much of a waste.
-Go scuba-diving
-Jump off a cliff into the water below (again...done it before...it's so exhilerating)
-Sign up for a serious climbing adventure again - rappelling, canyoneering, etc.
-Whitewater rafting again.
-Be more active this summer in MN - go canoeing, hiking, etc.
-LIVE life, damnit, and have some adventure; step outside the box, get some new perspectives, meet people, let myself loose, stop constraining and restricting myself.
-Have enough money to live comfortably (not extravagantly; just comfortably, without having to stress about going broke), and have enough money for 'retirement' - if I live that long.
-Ideally, have a job such that 'retirement' isn't even necessary; that it isn't a job/chore for me, that I enjoy it, and that I can be flexible with, so that I can work for a while, do something else, go back to working, take a break, forever...even when I'm elderly.
-Stay physically fit, and eat healthy, so that I can try to prevent future health problems, and so I can be one of those active 60/70 yr olds who is still full of life and able to lead hikes out in Utah, in their older age (I met two of them when I was out there!!).
-Go back to school to pursue something that I care about...at this point all of my reflection is pointing towards Conservation Biology, which I'm leaning towards now...
-Start dating someone again - get over my dislike of dating. Figure out how to meet someone!! I really, really want a man in my life...
-Have a meaningful fling. Is that possible?
-Go spelunking
-Go parasailing again - perhaps paragliding too
-Buy undeveloped land, and keep it wild.
-Save the planet.
-Get out of this shit job that I can't stand, and live again. I just realized it's only been the two years that I've been working at this company that I've completely lost my identity.
-Visit a new place each year.
-Cement my own personal belief/value system, and maintain it. Don't let it become compromised.

P.S. oldhippy, when I was writing all of this down, it seemed to me that this is what everyone would want..that much of what I wrote is rather vague. But then, I tend to think in rather vague terms -- probably one of the reasons I've never been a goal-setter, and I've never really had any goals! Gotta work on that, I suppose.

Lynn,
Your list is sounding a lot like mine. I know how you feel about shit jobs and money and feeling stagnant. Have you heard of Quirkyalone? (Yes, one word.) Google it and check it out. I discovered this last year and it totally changed my perspective on things. And it helped my parents and family to quit pushing me to get married and find a man. (Not that there's anything wrong with that! ) At any rate, I'm not alone, just quirkyalone. I'm gonna do my list tonight.

Jet

Hey Lynn,
I just completed this task or whatever you want to call it this morning. My whole thing is probably the length of just your dreams/hopes-perhaps i need to think a little harder! And yes a lot of what you said applies to me, and probably to other people. But there's nothing wrong with that. I think there are definitely some universal desires that we all have-some just choose to reach for them while others sit back and just let life happen to them. And i didn't think your list was all that vague, you seem to know what you want. Where you have to get specific is how to put what you want into an action plan to make it happen. I'm thinking that maybe this is the next phase of this project?? And just to comment on one of your goals:

quote:

Have a meaningful fling. Is that possible?

I think this is quite possible. If you learn from the person/experience, however short and devoid of deep emotions the fling may be, i think it's a meaningful experience. And i think there's lots we can learn from flings-i think we tend to let our guards down more when we know it's just a fling and there's no worry about emotions/feelings getting hurt/long-term logistics, etc.

Sue
p.s. i know you have an obsession with tea. i've never liked it myself but yesterday i tried some irish breakfast tea and it was like a little slice of heaven. just thought i'd share

Hello all,
Looks like I'm the only guy participating so far. I guess I'll have to represent for now. Here's my answers (so far) to question 1.

Likes:

-The sound of rain hitting the window/roof
-Having a drink with good friends
-A brisk fall morning
-A brisk spring evening
-Reading (I'm a book fiend)
-National Public Radio
-The internet
-A good reliable automobile
-Hearing the opinions/perspectives of others whether I agree with them or not (it keeps me honest)
-Money in the bank (money = freedom/options)
-The state of my health (it's very good)
-A good dog -Pretty much any type of food
-Going to different places, seeing different things, speaking foreign words, meeting foreign peoples, experiencing foreign cultures
-A good public transportation system (which Memphis does not have)
-Good tea (I'm not a coffee drinker)

Dislikes:

-Hot, humid southern summers
-Bars on the weekend
-Rush hour traffic
-The state of politics in the U.S.
-9 to 5 grind
-Bandwagons (speaking from experience)
-TV news (although 60 Minutes and Frontline aren't bad)
-Talking heads
-Computers (yeah, I know)
-Red states and Blue states (can't we all just get along?)
-Accumulating stuff
-Hauling around accumulated stuff

Not bad for a second post. More to come.

Welcome Traveling Square!
A very respectable post.

Jet

Just remember...you can grow these lists as new thoughts come to the surface...for example I forgot how much I love the ocean and big waves!!!!

You may hear someone else mention something neat you also would like to try...just add it to your list of things I want to do!

Take note...is it easier or harder doing the positive side vs doing the negative side?...or vice-versa?

Are you an intovert or extrovert? optimist or pessamist? leader or follower? Risk taker or conservative?

The whole yin-yang thing we are doing here is to hopefully give you some insight of areas that may need attention or direction...and later...possibly wounds that need healing...or stuff we buried because we couldn't deal with it at the time.


If you are wrestling with any aspect of this...sign in and share what you are going thru! The folks in here are here for you!

Hello hippy,

While I haven't done this particular exercise, I have been doing heaps of introspection over the last few months. I have discovered what I want my major life work to be (music), but, when I look at some of these other list, I feel like I"M forgetting a lot!

And as far as pos/neg being easier...not so sure. I'm so focused on what I do want now that I don't really think about what I don't want.

Introvert/Extrovert...I seem to be batting around 50/50 on this one, just slightly more introverted. I prefer a close group of few friends instead of heaps of casual friends, if that makes sense.

I am MUCH MORE of an optomist now than I was 5 years ago, and I think that's one of the greatest things I've changed about myself. I see a world of possibilities now instead of a world of limitations. For those that are pessimist, give optomism a try, it's much more fun

Well, I'mg oing to have to learn to be a leader for my new direction in that, so I guess I'm a leader!

Risk taking/Conservative- This is one of those where I'm changing as well. I tended to be much more conservative in the past, but, the risk taker in me is finally getting a chance to see the light. Im' going to have to take huge risk in my music career, and some other things going on in my life right now as well.

Hmm, well, I reckon that about does it for now. I know there's no right/wrong answers with the length of my list, but maybe I'm getting too focused. With all the work I have ahead of me, I am going to have to find a way to get balanced and not spend all my time working.

Thanks for this most excellent thread hippy

hey! welcome aboard Chris.

If your list is very short, and you feel maybe there is more in there???

Use your imagination! For example...on my: things I want to do in this lifetime list was: own a TV station...own a radio station...own a record company...etc etc.

That was the fantasy...but what I really wanted was just to know what the experience would be like working in those industries...and that was easy to pull off...because it was on... my to do list!

In fact the first record company I worked for was in your neck of the woods...a company called Festival records...now a part of Mushroom records...have you heard of these guys?

So if music is your thing...you might consider adding [for example only]...recording and cutting your own CD...hearing one of your tunes on the radio...going on a road tour...playing at a particular venue you like...having/creating a good fan base...attracting lots of groupies...having lots of sex...etc etc. Just jokin here...but do you see how to expand your horizons...and your list?

Check back in any ol time!

I have got a huge list of positive things - my dreams and likes (many thanks to the idea of buying land and keeping it wild - I thought about this years ago but since then forgotton) but I'm struggling to do the negative things.

This ties up with optimistic / pessimistic balance - I guess I'm the eternal optimist and I know I'm not conservative - take my recent spontaneous decision to toss the job.

I've always been an all or nothing kind of gal. It may not be serving me well. Mmmmm.

Mr Chris, what are your goals in the music industry?? And I do agree, this is an excellent thread.

And Old Hippy, do you have any stories about finding the balance?

Yes...welcome aboard traveling square!

Anyone else want to share as well? You need not worry, for our space here is virtually unlimited...so blast away!

I actually find it is easier to get to know you folks by us sharing the "important stuff" rather than just the suface stuff...which is also called our facade!

Our facade is that outter shell we create so we can protect our softer "interior" side of our lives.

When you choose to expose the interior you, which is actually the real you...and you then find folks are willing to simply accept you for it, rather than needing to re-shape you "in their image"...then we really have some progressive thinking here...it is called:

Unconditional love and acceptance...warts and all!

I accept you... for being you...for by being you...you are!

Hey captain...we must have been typing at the same time as you kind of snuck in there...so hi & howdy to you!

Finding balance...or a sense of grounding....I kind of equate that to sufing that wave you'll find in the yin-yang symbol.

It is a pretty deep subject, so I'll have to get back to you on that...but what are you feeling these days?

Why do you suppose your life is out of balance?

Share more on what you think is going on in your life?

Hey Captain-

What exactly do you mean by all or nothing? Since I'm a grey area type, I've always wondered how you black/white folks work

And I"m glad you brought that up hippy, I'm working on those as we speak. I'm making out 5 and 10 year goals now.

Right off the top of my head...

I will have my first CD released no later than 2/1/06
I want to have someone else managing the label side of things by 1/1/10

I want to have 3 CD's released and total sales at 200K by 1/1/10

I want to be performing in front of at least 2500 people in every major US market by 1/1/10

I want my income to exceed 250K a year while working only 6 months per year by 1/1/10


Well, that's all I have for now Time for me to get on the math and see what I neeed to do to achieve these goals.

Thanks again Old Hippy.

And actually, I don't live in Adelaide, but I'm staying with friends here. I will be located in Long Beach.

And what kind of work did you do at the labels?

What inspired you to create your goals?

Hey everyone!

First off, Jetgirl and Sue, thanks for the responses...and Sue, I'm glad you have experienced how wonderful tea is!

To be perfectly honest, when I was writing down my likes/dislikes, it was equally hard to come up with both lists. What I mean by that is that it took me a little while to actually get in the thinking mode where I could dig that stuff out of my head; once my brain woke up, I could come up w/ stuff for both lists. Once I got rolling, I think it was a little easier to write my likes down. At least, I came up with a lot more likes.

But oldhippy, I've gotta say, I think a lot of it is highly dependent on my mood on a given day; it seems I'm a very emotional gal (I didn't used to be - I used to keep everything inside), and so the optimist/pessimist thing shifts for me. It's very frustrating! Also, I kinda wonder if I have a bit of the seasonal/affective thing - I tend to get really down when Feb/March rolls around.

Anyhow...I've thought about the optimist/pessimist thing before, and I really think I'm optimistic at heart, but when I get caught up in the details, or in world events, I easily become pessimistic. Same for society at large - I'm very hopeful for many things, but I tend to analayze things a lot, and then the pessimism kicks in. Um, another odd thing about me - I am optimistic about other people (i.e. friends), but I'm pessimistic about myself, and am very hard on myself. I think I need to figure out a way to take control over that stuff; i.e. don't let my moodiness get a hold over me.

Introvert or extrovert..hmm, I'd say introvert. Definitely lean in that direction.

Leader or follower? Well, honestly I think I'm a leader who doesn't like to lead.

Risk taker or conservative? I think it's a healthy mix. I can be quite spontaneous/'risky' if my intuition is really strong and telling me to take the risk. On the other hand, because I've gotten the intuition before and tend to trust it, I tend to not know what to do if I don't have the intuition; that's when I 'sit still' until I know how to proceed. But maybe that's how I operate.

As for your third question above -- listing people who have had positive or negative influences on my life, and why. I'm not sure how to answer this question, because I tend to view every interaction as having some sort of positive influence. Meaning, even if I was extremely negatively impacted by someone, I learned from that experience, and learned more about myself in that process, and learned more of who I am, and what I want (and don't want). So there are people who haven't been great for me, but I've learned from them.
But anyhow, the only person who has had a really negative influence on me that really pops into my head is an ex; it was an extremely detrimental relationship for me, and I felt quite used, but I was depressed and recovering from a previous heartache while I was in it, so I didn't recognize his control stuff while I was in the relationship, but thankfully I've had a good relationship since then so I'm starting to believe there are good men out there, again.

Lynn

Howdy All,

Thanks for the questions Mr Chris and Old Hippy - I can probably answer them at the same time - being out of balance or being a blacky/whitey is a wild rollercoaster ride indead! Action packed all of the way.

Once I decide something I do it, thats it I'm off. I'm like a horse out of the barriers - its like I get a burst of adrenalin and energy and away I go.

If I decide not to do something, I wont do it. I won't do it half-heartedly - I just won't do it. There is no amount of coaxing or tempting - my foot is down.

Being like this does have its benefits because I get things done. I achieve results. If I don't want to do something I blatently refuse - everyone knows what the deal is. Black or white.

But it has many downpoints, other areas of my life are overlooked. I will have to think about the reasons my balance is thrown, I will reply at at later stage.

Thanks for asking how I'm feeling which is more focused...I have pulled the reins on leaving my job sitting still and looking for answers.

Mr Chris, your goals are looking good, you are being specific. Thats the stuff dreams are made of. What type of music? Can you set up a link to your demo?

I am trying to picture what you mean about yin and yang symbol and how it fits into the flow of life. I have never thought about the drawing of the symbol before but it appears to me that is two separate parts put together to make one rather than an ongoing flow. I hear what you said about it being deep so please discuss it at a later stage or whenever the mood takes.

I again agree with you Lynn, I also have had difficulty defining whether people have had positive or negative influence on me. They may be a negative sort of person or in a negative situation but I have learnt from it and grown and it has become positive.

Hey Old Hippy,
Well i did the task in full, answered all the questions. and it was actually easier than i thought. and everything i wrote down was pretty much everything i knew already. so i can't figure out if i was subconciously avoiding thinking deeper to avoid coming up with new things about myself that i wasn't aware of/dont want to be aware of, or if i'm just more aware of myself than i thought. i should add that i've never been an analyzer or introspective type of person. I will say the one thing it did bring to the surface was how much my friends mean to me and how they have benefitted me in life, and i shared these things with them, which in turn caused them to share with me, and it was just awesome to hear how much you mean to people, that our friends are more than just people we hang out with on the weekends.

Sue

The answer to why am I unbalanced is the ego....that outer shell. I look back and it is clear not only on these pages but throughout my life.

On top of doing the above exercises I have also been listing and prioritising my values. One value that has come through constantly is "I have one life to live" which from me thinking last night is my ego.

Is being concious of the ego enough to quiet it? Can you quieten it? Do you just recognise its there and live with it?

What are your thoughts on the matter?