BootsnAll Travel Community

Damn, I feel like I'm writing all of this personal stuff and everyone on BNA is reading it, but obviously not participating...not that I have a problem with it, it's just that I feel a little silly, and naked, since I'm writing a bunch of stuff and making it public!!

Lynn, consider yourself a pioneer...the goal of openness is: that nobody has anything on us if we "out" ourself first!

I am sure you have helped others here in your nakedness...

Being naked is natural and freeing...ever see the joy in a small child running around after their bath...no worries mate is that naked natural state!

Hi Eowyn

There has been alot of things that you have written that has caused me to question certain aspects of my life - so you have helped me without realising it.

It shows that you are comfortable and happy in your own skin.

You see Lynn...You've found a way to help others...just by being... and by openly sharing your growth and your self!

When we get real...others can relate, for we are all vulnerable on the inside...we all share the same feelings...worries and concerns.

It just takes a forum such as this, for all to see, there is strength in admitting our weaknesses!

Kudos to all who share in here!

quote:

Originally posted by Eowyn218:
I am still far too much affected by what other people think of me, and thus I am not there yet, where I feel like I can let my true self out, for everyone to see.

Lynn..first and foremost am so glad that you are putting yourself out here and it really does help us a lot.

I have the same problem...I really am so worried about what others think of me...my whole life so far (well at least till a year ago) was doing things to please people! and in general I pretend I don't care but I do.

I have slowly learned to be myself but still not there yet...its a journey I guess.

Don't stop sharing.

Thanks oldhippy, Captain, and Madhu...I needed to hear that!! I'm glad there are others out there who can relate to some of my stuff, or who are thinking about stuff based on what I've written.

So I got a note from my 'spiritual soulmate'; I'm always so uplifted when I hear from him - I thought I'd share some of what he wrote, because it kinda pertains to all of this, no matter what your spiritual beliefs:

"We can allow ourselves to simply be flushed away, we can kick and scream, get angry, and blame her, him, and the other for our every misery, or we can take a deep breath, relax, stretch out, look within, find that space, that infinite space, where dwells the lifeforce of the universe/(multiverse?), sense our connectivity with every living plant, animal, microbe, crypto crust, piece of slickrock, and fungus out there/in here. In that space there lies the eternal energy which is us. Sweet sweet life.

....life is vibrant, you can't have it any other way."

Oldhippy, I would like to ask if there are any other questions/activities that I can add to my list; I know there are a few things I haven't covered, but I'm gonna have a lot of alone time in the next several weeks (at least I think I will..maybe I won't!), so I'd like to have a few other things to think about.

Lynn

I've got a trip to Oz in 7 days and counting so I will have 21 hours of flight time to ponder as well.

I'm finding that last task huge, how is everyone going with it?

I made the list but I'm dealing with each shortcoming / negative thing one at a time - I feel I won't get the meaning/lesson out of each item if put them all together and forgive/accept all at once.

Doing it like this is time consuming and will result in major life changes for me.

What are your experiences?

Any of you read this book called "The Four Agreements" By Don Miguel Ruiz.

I just started it and I have to say its simple and makes some good points.


He expands on these 4 agreements
1. Be impecable with your word. 2. Don't take anything personally. 3. Don't make assumptions. 4. Always do your best.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/reader/1878424319/ref=sib_rdr_ff/002-1349734-6251264?%5Fencoding=UTF8&p=S002#reader-page

Please note...oldhippy is currently on the road and away from his computer, so any queries directed to oldhippy will be answered by the end of this month.

Progress Report:

This has been amazing.

I'm no longer looking back ....

Hey everyone,

I'm alive and in Santorini...

I spent an hour or so a few days ago, writing about 5 pages worth from the shortcomings/regrets/guilts question, and I surprisingly had a few 'breakthroughs,' just by writing some stuff out. Next time I have a long internet connection, I'll post some of the stuff I realized. Maybe 2-5 days from now?

Later!

Lynn

Hi Old Hippy,

Welcome back

I've just seen your name pop up there, how was the open road?

oldhippy's comments to howdy....re: on the road.

oldhippy is glad he did most of his global treks early in life.

When you get older, comfort becomes much more important to you...so please do most of your travels early.

As things in life also tend to get more expensive...you will be bucks ahead by traveling early in life as well.

Lastly...personal health can be a real deal killer to extended travel later in life...so don't put it off...do it now, while you are young, adventuresome and agile.

For those seeking new assignments...here is one good suggestion...Why not use your journal to create your own?

For example...Create a special topic of interest, that is timely to what you want to know or do right now!


Example...After a few months in the South Pacific, I just kind of burned out from traveling... This happened while I was in New Zealand.

My first thought was...why not just go home if you no longer want to travel...but the question remained...what would I do upon my return?

So...Using my journal, I made a list of everything I thought might be a good next step...and from that list I realized that the music business was calling me...so instead of going home, I made a list of the top 5 record companies in Austral-Asia....and then proceeded to hit them up for a job while I was still down under.

I started at the bottom of that list...and only got up to #3 before I was hired on.

That move saved me from bailing, and created a whole new set of opportunities for later in my life.

So use your journal to address topics of your design...the answers will follow!

As it seems that several of our members are currently on the road, I'm curious if you took/use your journals as you travel?

Has anyone had an epiphany or break thru on any topic or issue from the assignment list, or from just working/writing on your own topic of interest?

Has anyone had to stop any assignments due to somethings are just too tough to tackle right now?

Part 2 continues........

Take your list of "everything you want to do in this lifetime"...and prioritize it with your top 10 picks...then the next 10...and so on and on.

Then pick at least 1-5 of those items that you feel the most strongly about and write about why you do.

Next...Take 3-5 items from your list, that you can start/do immediately with $100 or less...now go do those to create a positive track record for manifesting your chosen reality!

Also...make out your list so you can actually check off the items as you do them...keep this list and add to it, or edit as you please.

Oldhippy, I think my breakthroughs are as follows:

1. I have a duality between intensely desiring relationships, and fearing them because I think I'll lose myself and my sense of identity. I fear of being used, and becoming stepped on. This has happened in the past; but the breakthrough is that I discovered at the very root what I think the problem is -- which is that I still do not have confidence in *who I am*. I have confidence in my abilities, but not confidence in who I am as a person; thus, I fear relationships and losing myself in them because I tend to *allow* myself to get lost in them, because I lack that confidence deep down, and that truly engrained sense of self. I think it's this awareness...that I must stick up for myself and it's solely in my hands to not allow myself to get 'taken over,' if you will, that I must work on. I also think in the past I've seen it as an either/or situation: you are either an individual and independent, OR you are in a relationship and lose yourself. I never believed it was possible to have them both, but I think it's because I'm not there yet as far as standing confidently on my own two feet, and being fully aware of who I am. I'm much, much closer than in the past, but it's still a work in progress.
2. I do not hold anger against the person who manipulated me in my past. I recognize now that I allowed it to happen, due to lack of confidence and confusion on my part. It does not take away from his actions and character, but it does take into account my own character at the time. I now recognize that I am in full control of what I will or will not take from other people, and I also am recognizing now the importance of sticking to my principles and not being swayed easily.
3. Life on the road is really not much different from life at home (except for the obvious fact that I'm not having to work!!!), other than a change in scenery and a change in culture. Both home and away, you encounter the same personal issues; there's no running away from anything! Just an observation -- in this case, I wasn't running away from anything, but it's more an observation that even on the road, I was struck with a really downer day. I think I've sprung back from it though, and am revived for the final leg of my trip. Also, I'm struck with how, even though I haven't traveled much at all, it seems that everyone, no matter where they live, is seeking the same stuff out of life. We're all much more similar than different.

Lynn

Lynn,

I enjoyed reading your observations. You are most definitely on the right track!

Since it is a timely topic and of your choosing...I'd like to see a page or two from you on ..."Who am I?"

Describe... or make a list on everything that goes into making ...Who I am... and add to that...What do I stand for?

Possible examples:

I am the daughter of my father, for whom I feel... [fill it in]
I am the daughter of my mother...for whom I feel...

I'm the sister of...I'm the friend of...I'm the student of...etc.

"Everything that was...went into making who, and what you are.
You are now the maker of that which will become!"

Howdy to all,

Old Hippy, I'm sorry to hear your road trip wasn't wonderful, I will definately take your advice on board.

I did take my journal away but most of my breakthroughs happened before I left...

My thoughts have been with balance. I have always tried to achieve perfection and that drive has caused my severe mood/life/balance swings - its either going wonderful....or not well at all.

This drive has affected every area of my life.... my relationships, my studies, my work.

Forgiving myself for all of my faults/wrongdoings made me acknowledge that I'm not perfect...I will never be perfect and that that the impossible strive for perfection has hurt my friends, my family and myself because I have been unaccepting of reality.

To accept and forgive myself for wanting perfection releases the strive to have a perfect past, to have a perfect future, and brings my focus to the now.

Oldhippy and others,

Just wanted to let you know that I'm a bit overwhelmed(not exactly the right word, but anyway, everything seems to be spinning, and I'm not fully settled back into 'reality' yet!!)...but I'll be contributing to this thread again in another week or so. Just need to wait for things to settle down a bit!

Lynn

Take it one hour..one day at a time...One step at a time..

Get your bearings..its hard I can tell you that.

Time is a great friend if you know how he 'ticks'.

Cheers
Madhu