I was in Peru recently, where I had occasion to use my Spanish during many a dinner conversation ... I don't speak it fluently but can say most anything I want to and can follow the gist of what others say, since I have been watching a lot of TV in Spanish (my favorite is the telenovela "La Fea Mas Bella", which I recommend as a fun way to improve your oral comprehension). Anyway, some of my dinner partners had quite a lot to say and rattled on at breakneck speed, and sometimes I just didn't feel like stopping them everytime their words started to dissolve into an incomprehensible string of phonemes, so I would just nod my head vacantly and pretend that I understood ... does anyone else do this? It's akward to constantly have to ask people to repeat themselves, so I guess I've developed a self-imposed quota on how often I allow myself to do this ... and of course the mental fatigue from the concentration required gets to me too ... when I think about it, though, feigning understanding is quite rude, and quite the embarrassment when they catch you at it, for example when they ask you a question that requires other than a yes-or-no response but you just keeping on nodding your head in agreement as if they made a statement.
Posts: 5 | Location: Brooklyn, New York | Registered: 27 April 2005
I do this when people speak English to me, which is my native tongue. I allow myself the same kind of quota that you described. Yes, it is embarrassing when you get caught but I feel like a dumbass when I keep asking people to repeat what they're saying.
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Posts: 861 | Location: Chicago - USA | Registered: 23 November 2003
I know what you mean it is a tricky situation. I often get mentally tired of speaking and listening to Setswana and some times just switch off. I used to sometimes fake understanding but as you say it can be embarrassing. So I tend to be more honest and let them know I am tired and could we try speaking english for a while.
itu matengu
Posts: 339 | Location: Manchester or Maun | Registered: 25 November 2003
yes I've done it, yes I've been busted on it... in a few different languages.... and I've been on both ends of it too.
For me the problem seems to crop up not so much out of an intentional duplicity, but moreso when I or the listener thinks they're getting the basic gist of the meaning, but upon being questioned, fail to show true understanding of the issue at hand.
I think men are particularly good at it. I mean really... how often do we actually pay attention to everything that women are saying? You get the gist of it, let em babble, and nod your head
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Posts: 1690 | Location: Made in Detroit. Exported to Amsterdam. | Registered: 10 October 2002
Do you get an extra quota when it's your dad you're listening to? Cause you can get away with it longer when you insert a halfway relevant comment in here and there.
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I do this quite often, and I get caught out quite often too!
My hubby does it to me all the time, but I find that a prod in the side usually helps to focus his attention for the ten seconds it takes to relate important information. My hubby is a mathematician and thinks in n dimensions, but it's not always an excuse.
Oh, yes...too often. I once did this at a hotel we were staying at. The housekeeper came by once a day and would speak to me in Spanish, yet I know "zero" Spanish, while hubby knows some (he would sit on the other side of the room and translate for me once she had left). I told her the first day I didn't know Spanish either, but I guess I responded to her verbal clues so she kept talking.
Apparently after a week, she invited me to dinner and I agreed having no idea! Hubby told me after she had gone. It was a very nice offer, but it would have been a very long dinner not understanding a word she was saying!
lol, I had a pretty stupid episode in Italy. I was trying to find a place and was totally lost in the maze of streets. The first couple of people I asked for directions from got huffy when I asked if they spoke English, I think they said (very reasonably) something I took to be, "I'm Italian in Italy, I speak Italian." I felt too abashed and scared to ask anyone else if they spoke English. I speak French and a few words of Spanish, and tried to wing it with, "Perdon, donde es etc..?" and while I couldn't understand what they said, I understood the accompanying hand signal, and would just go that way until I crossed another street, where I would ask someone else for directions. A couple people replied, "Donde es español - dov'e!" so I switched to that- I caught words here and there - something about a bridge, something that sounded like turn right, something that sounded like a flag.. one man was giving me detailed directions and I think I looked totally lost and he was on to me. He suddenly switched to perfect English and asked, "You silly child, why are you speaking Italian if you don't understand Italian?" I felt rather ridiculous, and he gave me the necessary instructions in English. I felt sufficiently embarassed to start studying Spanish to spare myself future episodes like this..
-sonya
Posts: 121 | Location: California | Registered: 23 February 2006
