BootsnAll Travel Community

We have two kids that will be finishing college around the time we FIRE off on early retirement. We will be in our early fifties. The plan is to sell the house, cars, and furniture. Store the sentimental stuff. (Kids are shocked! Seems they had the idea their empty bedrooms would be forever maintained as some kinda immortal shrine to their misspent youth! I don't think so...)

Then we're gonna take a RTW seven continent journey of at least two years.

So here is the big question... should we take the kids?

I am really split on this issue. On the one hand I am a firm believer that young adults should be independant and stand on their own two feet. I also worry about extending their dependancy on mom and dad, what kind of precedent are we setting?

On the other hand... wouldn't this type of experience, early in adulthood give them more than the standard experience of just jumping into the regular entry level job?

On the other hand...(scratching his beard like Tevye) They will be entering the career market later than all their friends... and two can travel much cheaper than four, so we will need to scale back some plans. Hey, it's not their retirement!

Well there are a lot of other hands, I could go on and on.

Anyway what do you traveling parents think? Should we take our adult children RTW?
Love to hear your opinions, suggestions, and keen parental insights.

Hello there,
I'm a 34 year old woman who would have LOVED to travel with her parents. That being said, I don't think that you should bring your kids. You can invite them to meet you on certain legs (check with them what countries they're interested in...) but I wouldn't pay for them. Not entirely anyways. As a student, I was saving my own money in order to travel...(among other things). If they are young adults, they need to take responsibilty for themselves.
Perhaps If I could afford it, I would offer to match whatever money they would come up with. E.g. They save 2000$+ you give them the save amount.
Also I wouldn't necessarely view the kids as a pair. One child could be interested in Asia and the other in Africa. Spending quality time with each individually could be very interesting...
Or maybe, all meet in one place for a special occasion e.g. Christmas
Whatever you do, don't give an all-expenses RTW trip to your adult kids. You have worked hard all your life and made some sacrifices in order to be able to afford it. Your children need to learn to do the same. That's my opinion anyways. Good luck!

Thats a hard call, but if you can afford it, I would go for it as it is a family bonding experience like nothing else. It might be the last time that you will be together like this as a family unit and the shared memories are priceless.


I would not worry about starting a career a year or two later. Of course, you might all love it so much that you will find it hard to end.

I think it will enrich all of your lives more than you can even imagine right now. It will also change you more than you can imagine.

Take your time go slowly. Life is short...carpe diem!

Heck no, they're on their own!! I'd certainly invite them to join us somewhere for a short visit.

Actually, I don't think they'd want to join us in some far flung place for any more than a short visit - if at all. They have their own lives.

My thoughts...The kids are allready adults, they're in college, they'll be entering the job market soon...the cord has allready been cut! Once the parent-child dynamic changes, it usually stays changed, but this might be a way to enjoy it one last time. I think you have to decide what kind of relationship you want with them, as adults, and work on cultivating it now.

If you want them to be completely independent, self-sufficent adults, that you only spend time with on the "bid" dates, then maybe it's best to go without them.

If you want them to have independent lives, yet still be connected on a consistent basis, then maybe you meet them at certain location on the RTW.

If you want a relationship with you children where you interact with each other on a daily basis. Where they continue to look to you as their parent, and not necessarilly as a peer, then maybe you bring them with you.

Then again, as a parent, you know there is no set rules that work for each situation. You rarely can predict how the different decisions will effect them. So maybe it's a simple as asking yourself "What do I want?" and letting everything else work itself out...

quote:

You can invite them to meet you on certain legs (check with them what countries they're interested in...)

This is your retirement, but I have traveled with my folks and it is a great experience. I could not imagine going around the world with them, but stages of the trip I would want.

Hi everyone, thanks for your opinions so far. Well, this is not a slam-dunk like I thought it might be. You all have given me compelling thoughts on both sides of the issue. I have some other thoughts that I would like to add to the discussion.

There are probably a couple of things I should tell you all about us. We are a close-knit family. We get along and enjoy each other's company. So I think we would travel well together. Of course I can't speak to the kids need for independence from their parents in a couple of years from now. They are not currently in serious relationships (that I know of.) Of course that could change everything.

There are only a few times in your life you can travel unhindered. During childhood, gap years and retirement. As it happens, these times are lining up for us.

Regarding the parent-adult child relationship, you see parents help their offspring in numerous ways. Taking them in the family business, (Parent and boss.) Renting them apartments at a discount, (Parent and landlord.) Helping them purchase a house, (Parent and bank or mortgage lender.) Honestly don't we all try to pass on as many advantages as possible to our children?

The idea of world travel as a life changing experience is very compelling. Isn't it something that is better done in one's twenties than in retirement? However I do worry about the obsessive listlessness I pick up from some of the young folk in this list.

I think a key question for me: is a person in their mid-twenties better off having experienced a trip around-the-world?

What are your thoughts?

quote:

Originally posted by CubeSlave:
I think a key question for me: is a person in their mid-twenties better of having experienced a trip around-the-world?

What are your thoughts?

Yes! but it really depends on the person. Do the kids want this..because when you want to travel it has to be one's own desire to do so...not because somebody else thinks its a great idea. Travel is a different kind of educations..not the same as sitting in classroom but better.

I say ask the kids what they want to do..give them the options and let them make their own mind...for if they decide to take two years off then they know they enter the work force two years later etc etc. They should make that choice.

In my case I did not travel in my 20's but came to the US to study...left family behind. WHole differnt experience..I was miserable here for 2 years but it was my decision and that is why I stuck it out. If somebody had decided the US education for me I would have gone back home in 2 days. It was my decision and that is why I struggled and make it work.

I personally think its a fab idea that you are going to be traveling with kids. No harm in giving this great gift..wish more parents did it. I don't think something like this will spoil the kids..on the other hand it shows mom and dad still think of them even if they are 5.

Well, I'm sorry but I am sticking with my opinion. An around-the-world trip IS an amazing experience I have to agree with you there. But better in the mid-twenties? Nope! Easier in the mid-twenties,yes. But certainly not better.

quote:

Helping them purchase a house, (Parent and bank or mortgage lender.) Honestly don't we all try to pass on as many advantages as possible to our children?

Actually I would personnally have a problem with my parents helping me to buy a house... They probably wouldn't mind but I would. I've seen too many people getting too much help from their folks (including my brother...) and now, many have a hard time standing on their own two feet financially... They come to expect their parents to help...

Have you ever watched Dr. Phil? He says that when you give your kids too much, you rob them from feeling like they can accomplish things on their own... Imagine that you don't bring along your kids. You e-mail them, send them postcards... When you come back, you show them pictures, tell them stories... and make them WANT to have a similar experience. Now they want it so bad that they HAVE TO save money. And after two years of hard labor and sacrifices, they have enough money and they can leave... Imagine how proud they'll feel that they DID IT!

To me, giving and all-expense-around-the-world trip to your ADULT children is giving too much. At the very most, inviting them on a leg of the trip would be good. But even then, I wouldn't pay for everything... Good luck!

Hello again,
I'm sorry I misread your post...

quote:

is a person in their mid-twenties better off

Of course traveling changes one's view of the world, regardless of the age. But is a twenty-something BETTER OFF?... Not necessarily. I think that it depends on many things, including the person's attitude and whether or not the trip was handed on a silver plate...
I'll stop here, you know what I think...

ANYWAYS, I have a feeling that you already know what you want to do. If you and your wife are on the same page( very important!!!), and your kids really want to go, then just do it and be happy! I mean it!

I don't know, maybe I just see this different because I am fifty something.

I would think it would be very strange if any one of any age took a trip around the world for a year and did not benefit from the experience.

If you are a close family and the adult kids want to go and you have the money to take them along and you all will have fun, growth, bonding, shared stories and love that will last forever...Heck why not?

I don't think they will be too indulged or just meeting you for one or two places will be optimal. Soon they will go on to their own families and this might be the last hurrah for your family of origin to all be together and share something so special.

DO have them contribute in some ways ( money and or otherwise)..even my young child contributes much on our trip.

One of the best things about a RTW trip is a feeling that you can do anything. How can that not be good for a 20 something?

Another great thing is the extreme closeness and bonding you share with the people you take such a journey with. How can that not benefit them?

Talk to any family who has been on a year trip around the world...ten years ago or more...all of them say it continues to impact their lives forever and bonds them tremendously as a family.

There is plenty of time to cut the cord completely when you come back.

Will they appreciate it as much as someone who pays for it all themselves. Probably not.

Do people who pay for college appreciate it as much as those who have it given to them? I think so and the same for most things, but that did not stop you from paying for college probably.

If one of you should die ( and the thought is not out of the question with a 50 something) soon after the trip, all of you will be sooooooo grateful for this precious time together.

There is nothing that you can give them that is more valuable than time together. To do that while exploring this great planet together....is a gift beyond measure.

If they want to go with you and you want to go with them...do not listen to the nay sayers...go for it!! You will have the time of your lives.

Carpe Diem!!

I was determined to stay out of this thread until it got so warm and fuzzy....somebody needs to add another perspective.

Not around the world, but I have traveled internationally with adult children, and without them. I definately vote for leaving the kids at home.

Of course I love my kids and they are super, but they add a dynamic to vacationing that leads to disputes. I don't want a vacation with disputes. I want to have fun and do what I think are interesting things without going through the what time are you coming in thing, and the where are you going thing, and the can I have some money thing, and the I don't want to go there do that thing.

I just spent decades doing what needed to be done for the kids and working to pay for the kids and living to parent the kids. Enough already. It's my turn now! I want to do what I want to do without taking a democratic vote that makes 4 or 5 people moderatly satisfied. I'm tired of compromising to be sure that everybody gets their equal share.

We've had several brilliant traveling experiences without the kids. It's worked out better than taking them along so from now on I'm not taking them any more. If they want to travel--fine. They can get a job and find the money and go out to do exactly what suits them.

Meanwhile we'll be staying in cheap pensions and eating tuna fish sandwiches on a quiet beach somewhere and snoozing under the umbrella. They hate that.

I'm probably running the risk of presuming too much, but I wonder if you just feel that you are leaving them in a lurch and as a way not to do that want to offer to take them along.

I love to travel, and see the value in it. I think traveling as a family for a trip - as opposed to a rtw - could be great. I think for two new college grads though, going on a rtw with the parents is a very different experience from going on your own. I'm not saying your kids would be drinking or partying or whatever every night if they went alone and would not do so with you, but it's just different. I think that feeling of "I can do anything" following travel would be very different from a younger person on a trip with parents than with a 23 year old on a trip with parents.

I'm not a parent and I don't know you, but I would say - don't feel bad NOT taking them along...I think it's common courtesy to stay in touch and do what you can to reassure them that you are there if they need you, just as people in other threads advise younger people to do for their parents when they go.

Take the kids! Take the kids!

If they want to go and you want to take them... how exciting to share that as a family and learn about each other in new environments!