BootsnAll Travel Community

RE: http://www.bootsnall.com/articles/05-07/escape-from-yan...-province-china.html

On the upside, I thought much of this was nicely written. Sometimes funny, sometimes vivid. It propels itself along energetically.

On the downside......this was unnecessarily long. FAR too long, in my opinion. I almost quit on it a couple times. Worse, I thought it was a more than a bit melodramatic. (Author goes to China with a friend to teach English. Both of them hate it and decide to cut and run, quitting early. Okay.) But...

He (jokingly) makes it sound like they're breaking out of prison, as if they'll be hunted down and shot as they try to get out of China. I'm not really given much reason to believe why the author thinks his "escape" is so harrowing. And the whole story is based on that premise. Anyway, I think there's a nice, funny piece in there....somewhere....it's just buried.

Haha AIA/GP. See there? It wasn't too long. At least not for. (Keep in mind though, he's one of those "thoughtful types". I'm more of the short-attention-span variety.)

I don't think it was too long for a piece about a state of mind, and the merry paranoid chase was certainly more than a little self-deflating, which made one laugh AT the protagonist. After all, the protagonist had not just escaped from near certain death, merely working in a social system the author did not like and did not want to adjust to. He ran because he was lied to, and it was sour from the beginning. One couldn't blame him, but at the same time, one is a bit disapointed in his reaction.

If he had been told the truth at the beginning, and went, it could have been a most enlightening experience despite the terrible food and poor conditions.

Are we required for feel for the protagonist all the time? In this case, the answer is no.

Could it have been cut? Of course. Was it interesting as it stood? Yes.

[[MINA OLEN! THANKS FOR THE EDITING IDEA! I didn't think that it would be fair to just delete stuff, so that people know what's going on.]]

It's way too long winded, and I cannot believe that people are treating this one with kid gloves.
Slip did a pretty good job in "not identifying", he was being nice. his review. He's much nicer than I am.

I hated this article as much as he hated China, and the only payoff was the last sentence. But, if he'd given up, then why post here?

How about researching a country before you go there? The teaching conditions in China are well documented. So are attitudes and cultural beliefs. In fact, it seems as though the author most certainly has read those opinions of people who cut down Chinese culture. He seems to even steal these ideas. He came up with them with no help? A Chinese girl in the article couldn't even talk about wanting a car or her thoughts on a matter without the author claiming it was the party line. How does he know?
The author's hatred of China just left me so bitter.

I just got back from a month in China, and we all talked about the same things. The smell, the poor hygiene, etc. In fact I related to all of that. But I also read about it before I left the US, and we laughed about it. Most of our TEFL class is now teaching in different parts of China, and some had been already before the class.

Hate begets (sp?) hate, and I just hated this.

It starts out with a description of an ugly woman. The whole article is shallow like that toward women. The guy can't have a conversation with a female without getting distracted and annoyed because she's not aware of her sexuality?

Slip... come on you know how I am, and how I'm on the verge of getting in to some real trouble here. I have to shut up now.my hero...things here would have been worse had I not learned so much from you.
Somebody save me and write a decent review of this because I'm too pissed.

Where's Mina and Elis? [feeling alone here as the guys don't seem to care at all...]

Oh, and Slip, if you research teaching English in China on the net, you will not find it "littered with rosy tales". Where do you get that idea? Dave's ESL cafe for one, people are constantly on there doing nothing but bitch about their jobs in China.[Still an important point.]

jedimasterbooboo,

Are you back for good or on your way to teach somewhere? It would be a nice jesture on your part to give a full accounting of your trip to help others and to give some current information on the state of affairs behind the great wall.

And by the way I think you misread my earlier statement.

Cheers.

Sorry for misreading, I thought that you didn't identify with the characters and found them shallow. I thought that was a nice way of putting it. Maybe I got that part right, and something else wrong. It never surprises me that I misread.

I'm planning a big move right now, so I'm feeling overwhelmed. My blog shows a picture of our class and some emails that we've sent to eachother that are actually pretty interesting.

I'm not going to teach in China, but I'm moving to the Philippines. If you go to my blog you can see that I'm in touch with scads of people that are teaching in China. There's one that has already been there a year up in Qing Dao. One that's been teaching in Hong Kong.

Life in China is hard, even in the SEZ modern area of Zhuhai. Almost every article I read on China mentions these conditions, and I relate to all of it. For some reason, some people love China. I'm one of them, and I had people in class that love it. We're also the ones talking about the smells and the heat and the stares, and people acting like they don't know what you're talking about even if you've said something in very clear Chinese (and even your Chinese friends tells you that you said the word perfectly).

China's a strange subject.

Thanks for being kind to me Slip, I'll be updating my blog. You wrote a very good review above. I feel the same way. It's just that you're so level headed. I wanted to use bad words.

you rang jedi? [are you her servant?]

My favorite part of this was the authors bio: "The author has given up travel and travel writing." ! lol... probably a good thing if he's still in the same state of mind...

I agree with the author's father that this says more about the author than about China. Not that I've been there, but I can't say this taught me anything my last 3 Chinese landlords didnt.

It's like a bad teen travel movie that uses comedy to excuse ignorance. Dont get me started on some of The insensitive stuff, I dont think that is ^not the point, cuz there is comedy too, albeit of a very deliberate sort. "I told Craig, "We just need to stick together, man." But when the elevator doors opened, I sprinted across the lobby and out of the hotel in seconds." har har very b-movie. I'm picturing that weasel kid from Amercian Pie as Craig with you a slightly more likable Vince Vaughn.


Maybe if the author had gone alone instead of with his "bro" he might've found more time for the "mostly sweet, bright Chinese kids, hungry to learn" and been less personally offended by "Chinese poop breath," which is about as much useful description as we get of the smells, sights and food.

B/c you've set yourself up as a self-serving shirker, when you do try to be serious(?), it just rings hollow: "Suddenly, I understood Tiananmen Square and the Cultural Revolution; I saw them for what they were: coping strategies of dumb thugs, designed to deal with people like me."

Have to agree with Jedi that your categorizations of women are... well... telling. Maybe this is what you get when travel to far lands with "all the pretty Asian women" as your main motivation???

Well, that's what you get, bro.

[Remember the lesson of the the hostess who talks too much in the story, he doesnt want to hear it.]

Why did I keep reading it?

I've only been critisized before for not reading entire articles that I didn't like.

That's your response, why did I keep reading it?

Ok.

We were referring to the *way* that women were thought of in the piece, not saying that they were the only ones treated badly.

(Slip: Thanks for the prior training that you have given me in proper responses...it's paying off now. You are my mentor.)

quote:

In fact, the narrator gets the roughest treatment from the narrator

I agree with An Introver Abroad whole heartedly in regards to this statement. I found the article to be very honest. Sure, the author could have made the whole situation more rosey, but he's direct with who the 'fault' ultimately lays. I don't think the article and experience would resonate nearly as strongly if he had portrayed himself in a "better" (more open minded, less judgemental, embracing of the stench and chaos) light.

I personally have a difficult time with those who knock others - especially those who are already knocking themselves and being honest about it. I find it to be quite judgmental, and something of a pet peeve - I liken it to travelers who knock those on a Contiki tour on their first time out of the country. The way they experience travel may not have been the way you prefer, but they're not any less of a person for it.

I would enjoy reading other travel experiences written by the author.

quote:

I personally have a difficult time with those who knock others - especially those who are already knocking themselves and being honest about it. I find it to be quite judgmental, and something of a pet peeve - I liken it to travelers who knock those on a Contiki tour on their first time out of the country. The way they experience travel may not have been the way you prefer, but they're not any less of a person for it.

I feel the same way about China, and the authors' views toward it. And I like the way I'm questioned by the author because I read the whole thing. That's new.

Are we not supposed to review these articles with our own honesty? How is he being "knocked"? Maybe his views are being challenged. Do you have any examples of this person being knocked?

Most of the articles on bna are "honest", especially the ones I read on China. This one has such a one dimensional view. Are we not supposed to say anything about that?

Do we have to ignore someone's inability to relate to foreign women in any other way than to evaluate their sexuality?

Sorry for "knocking" that, I guess I'm not being sensitive to this author. I guess that the authors deserve sensitivity. Let's tip toe around and not knock them, while they rampage around foreign countries like bulls in a tea shop.

Forget this article review stuff, I mean what's the point?

quote:

Do you have to have a likable protagonist in your story?

No you do not. (However, not having a protagonist with whom the reader can identify eliminates the chance that the reader will empathize with the situation or the circumstances. And this means that the author must work harder at creating a meaningful story that captures the attention of reader. A goal, which I believe the author accomplished.)

To echo Court's comments, and to reiterate mine, I think the story is solid, well written, and honest.

I sincerely hope the author has not given up writing.

Jedi - Apologies if you took my statement as an attack. Perhaps I should have stated my opinion more clearly.

The author is self-depricating. You're not supposed to like him. It's supposed to be a one-dimensional view. He writes about not nice (or PC) stuff, especially in regards to sexuality and negative images of the country and its people.

Simply put, the point of the article is lost when people focusing on these things, instead of the message the author is trying to convey.

Again, the article's obviously not for everyone. I enjoy reading critiques of writing and offering my own. Kid gloves is all relative, especially online when it's easy to construe something as an attack.

I see said the blind man. Thanks.

quote:

Originally posted by An Introver Abroad:
Mina Dude,

Yeah, it's like a bad teen movie. But I thought there was some other stuff going on here too. Or at least I tried. God loves a tryer, dont he?

Sure, always gotta try. Not that I am religious, but God might've loved you trying to teach those kids... but of course your business is your own.

Out of curiosity, how old are you?

And do you think you would have ran like Kurt Russell if you were alone?

PS I forgot to say something nice

I think it hangs together well for such a long story and the comedic element has potential.

I disagree that your narrator gets the worst shake here, or is wholly unlikable; but he is a little flat. Maybe needs to look at his own motivations more honestly? What REALLY lured him to China? Babes? Somehow... I dunno...

If you want to check out some humor/travel that (I think) really works, without being all rosy-eyed about life, I really enjoy How Conor is Spending all His Money

I loved this story! Not too long! Want more from this writer!

What is your concern with the fact that I actually read your story? Who cares?
It earns me the right to "rag" on your story? This is not food. The general rule here is you finish a story before you comment. I think Mina had a great question when she asked how old you were.

You don't take criticism very well, do you?

I don't need to "earn" anything.

If you post a story, people can comment.

ALSO message to Court:
With all this talk of "characters", could bootsnall please announce when an article is travel FICTION, versus a standard travel piece? I would be willing to review on different standards.

I think I have taken your remarks really well.

Namaste.

Well good. Question then:

Is this fiction?

When the author questioned why you kept reading it, Jedi, I assume he meant why does someone feel the need to continuing reading an article they obviously hate just so they can justify making mean comments about it?

That's what I would have thought if I was him.

There's a difference between helpful, productive criticism and pointless attacks masked as criticism. Perhaps, this is why the author didn't feel attacked by Slip, but did by others.