BootsnAll Travel Community

I'm facing a little life-planning dilemna and need the advice of those with more experience than I. Of yourse you "oldies" closer to my age are also welcome to respond.
I do have some ideas but it's all awfully vague which is good, but I'd enjoy discussing this. Here goes:

Me: 30, interesting & challenging job, would like to have kids, travel the world and be financially independent (as a woman without a trust-fund, that means work)

Right now: in a job I was promoted to in June, director of a shelter. I have a huge list of improvements that I want to make. I want this house to become one everyone can be proud of, especially the people that live there. That's a whole heap of work. And it won't be over in 6 months. More likely 2 or 3 years. Or maybe 10 because I'm paranoid that I'll finally get things going well and then I leave and certain people ( management ) will just mess it all up.

Family: I have a great partner and I (and he too) would like kids. Sometime in the next 5 or ten years. It's a career killer, even in social democrat Europe. So I'm already balancing kids and the hormone count-down versus wanting to keep doing meaningful work (and that means some element of career because if you're up high enough to make decisions you also have the opportunities to create real change). Suddenly those couple of years at work sound a lot longer when I bring them into this whole womb-context.

Travel: I also want to see the world. Go sailing. Tramp around maybe 30 countries. For me 1 month is not enough for a single country. Maybe a region of a country. I don't want to wait until I'm 60 to do this. But right now, I've got such a full plate at work that I'll be lucky if I can take 4 of my 5 annual vacation weeks in one go.

So the sane part of me is just accepting that life goes in stages and phases - some take a year and some a decade - and it'll all come. And I can't plan it. And one day I'll be a happy 80 yr old with a varied life. Dancing in a Caftan on my Koffeetabel as the grandkids and nurse roll their eyes.

SO, any thoughts? How do you folks see your lives, are you balancing them? or are you always surprised at the rich and varied outcome?

You and your 'partner' Work like a maniac for about ten years, buy a home and rent it out to people and travel on the money you get each month.

quote:

Originally posted by Baretta:
You and your 'partner' Work like a maniac for about ten years, buy a home and rent it out to people and travel on the money you get each month.

That's a good option if you have the means. I've met many people doing this, though most of them were much older, had their houses paid off, and didn't have small children.

I dunno..two people work hard for ten years and put all their money into it. It could be done, I guess.

I don't think you will do it all by working. Gotta hustle, get into the finance game. Just saving paychecks wont cut it. I think.

damn baroukh, thanks, but what about having kids? I#m thinking about jugling work, travel AND family. You suggested a way to deal with two of them. But not all three. And that's a heck of a lot easier. If it were only the two, I wouldn't have bothered posting the question here.

It's questions like these where I envy men sometimes (but only sometimes). My grandad became a father again around age 70. Don't think that'll be an option for me.

And the finance game, don't like that much. Too much of a lefty, I have a moral problem with speculation.

PS what's with the ' thingies around the word partner? I could substitute the best word I know (Lebensgefährte) for him but there's no way I'm aware of to translate it into english.

My 2 cents......the kid thing is the biggest because of biology and the fact that it changes everything else. There is no way to put it off past a certain age. IMHO it shouldn't be put off past 35 if you really have your heart set on having a family. After that it becomes harder and sometimes requires a lot of medical intervention which can translate into $$$$s which can translate into fewer $$$$$s to spend on anything else. As a wise woman once told me "Honey you can have it all, just not all at once".

For me it has always been a balancing act. Different things have taken priority at different times. For a very long time the priority was my kids and that is were the time, energy and money went. Now my kids are grown and gone. I have managed to work for many years and save and it is time to travel a lot more. The balance is hard to achieve and there were some years that were harder than others. But now I am in an easier place.....but it took a lot of sacrifice (many, many years of very little travel) to get here. But I had my kids young and now I am 48, free to travel and actually have the energy and the money. I am now making travel more of a priority. I hope the money, health, and energy all hold out so I can have many more years of that. But it is still a balancing act of time, money and energy......and probably always will be.

Good luck. It isn't easy but can be done......just not all at the same time.

Well the best part is your sanity that recognises that life goes thru phases as Scubamama so eloquently puts with the priotising attached, and it is also to be recognised that phases may be different by nature and time, but with some thought there is nor reason for they not to be merged, ie.

Following the normal path of business/kids/home/education, and yes if starting young you can be a Scubamama, but seeing as time is ticking, it is more than likely that you will be using that Caftan much later in life as family and society pressures can tend to be very moulding, not to mention the Scubamama energy factor.

So, the big decision for you and yer "mann" (a little side discussion with the Swiss wife on those "lovely" long deutscher words that make a real stumbling block along with the grammar for anybody attempting to learn deutschesprachlerentich - meinen inention) is
1. Is an alternate lifestyle acceptable/desired.
(and sacrifices that will go with it)

Once you have a clear idea on that assessment then the saving and planning have a goal; and my thoughts on alternatives:
. get your immediate professional satisfaction fed, but in two/three years time the success addiction may have kicked in worse so you may need to revisit the goal.
. the kinder can be put off depending on current and progressive state of fitness/health and there are aspects of age which bear consideration, ie.
Have them at say 35 and then there is the additional cost/blockers to your other side of the dream.
. go sailing at 35 and have the kids at 40, and be working too far into your sixties.
Alternative, buy a reasonable catamaran/yacht liveaboard proposition - hard to do in most parts of Europe whilst working, so maybe it's eventually have a look at Job prospects in initially Greece/Turkey where though wages might be lower, living aboard can also be so much cheaper.
. You have the little sailors while close to reasonable medical facilities and all cut your teeth on sailing the Meditterannean before you follow in Columbus's wake to the new world.

Whatever lifestyle you choose will take savings as you well recognise to kick it off, but I think the real key is a continual review of not how just things are going but where is it that going taking you.
At some stage, you would have to be making decisions about what may bebest for the kinders future, but at least you and they may have had the opportunity to see a greater range of options and explore the possibilities of living in locations where liveaboard in a marina and schooling can be coupled with plenty of vacational sailing.

I say that from an australian/nz perspective where it may be more feasible than most other places, but to achieve that, then the immigration question comes into the future as well.

Life is complicated, gets more and more so just as the attempt to answer has, but good luck with your intentions whatever they may become.