BootsnAll Travel Community

We could argue to death whether its better to be gay or straight in general... but in my opinion, when you are traveling, it is FAR better to be gay [I'm sorry but I am mainly speaking of gay men... I cannot speak for lesbians]. Being gay gives us easy access to the locals [assuming its a city with at least one gay bar/club]. If you are a straight guy in a straight club, the girls will be suspicious of you and the guys will have no interest. Gay guys are always interested in meeting foreigners and as we all know, its much easier for guys to get to know each other/familiar than a guy and a girl.

In many cities around Europe, I have met locals at the clubs/bars who then show me around their city during the next day[s]. Getting to know a local is far better than touring a city by yourself or even with a fellow travelmate you've met in the hostels or whatever.

If there is one disadvantage, its that if you meet a group of travelers and they all want to party, it will probably not be at the venue that you would have chosen.
Anyway, just some thoughts.

Well, the other big disadvantage is that it depends on where you travel. Many places around the world still have strong anti-gay sentiments. Don't go showing yourself to be a homosexual in Singapore, as it could land you in the klink. And that's pretty mild compared to what could happen in large parts of the Middle East and Africa.

WTF? Why do you presume that straight people have trouble meeting/be-friending locals? That's nuts.

Well, it is a proven fact that most straight people make great decorators or hair stylists and are also very promiscuous.

quote:

Originally posted by static:
Well, it is a proven fact that most straight people make great decorators or hair stylists and are also very promiscuous.

That's true. I hadn't considered that. So I guess straight people really are at a disadvantage unless they happen to be in a large, cosmopolitan city where some of the more style-conscious, well-heeled locals might be looking to pick up a few tips or.....ermmmm....tricks.

quote:

Originally posted by Not the first Travis:


WTF? Why do you presume that straight people have trouble meeting/be-friending locals? That's nuts.

I am not at all saying that straight people would have trouble befriending locals... it all depends on each individuals personality and willingness to go out on a limb a little bit. However, when out at night, if there were two "identical" people, with one that is gay and one that is straight, it would be easier for the gay one to meet another guy. Of course they both can and may end up with a new friend.

Because homosexuals lack the institutions to get to meet one another, a gay bar/club is one of the few places that is specifically meant for gay people to come together. A straight bar/club is primarily for going with your friends/partner and/or dance/music... but again, gay establishments have a major focus on meeting one another.

I also agree with the person who posted that you must be even more careful in certain countries about keeping your sexuality in the closet. I agree, that is a disadvantage, but all you have to do is not tell people [and cover up that rainbow flag on your backpack...hehe].

I think it all depends what "kind" of gay person you are.

For instance, in spite of my shaven head, big sideburns and ever-present stubble, I'm a bit camp so I tend to gravitate towards girls and other gays over straight men. This is largely my choice though, whereas my b/f does DIY, fixes cars etc. but doesn't know a lot about Abba so we usually find a place for ourselves in groups.

I'm hoping my approaching year away will help to intigrate me a bit more though.

Hud x

So am I hearing this right?

If I become gay my social shyness disease will disapear, my extremely overweight, not so pretty body will become buffed, my rolls of fat will disappear, my teeth will turn pearly white from the tobacco yellow they are now, my red scarred pimples will fade away, my breath will smell better, my BO problem will disapear, and men will flock to me?

Are gay men attracted to any male that says he's gay, regardless of attractiveness or charm?

Please clarify this for me.

quote:

when you are traveling, it is FAR better to be gay

This news to me that I can have a choice.
But I have just crossed Philly of the list in hope of being accosted by fillies of less stained teeth and pimpled faces.

quote:

Originally posted by Tortuga_traveller:
So am I hearing this right?

If I become gay my social shyness disease will disapear, my extremely overweight, not so pretty body will become buffed, my rolls of fat will disappear, my teeth will turn pearly white from the tobacco yellow they are now, my red scarred pimples will fade away, my breath will smell better, my BO problem will disapear, and men will flock to me?

Are gay men attracted to any male that says he's gay, regardless of attractiveness or charm?

Please clarify this for me.

No, gay men are not attracted to all men [gay or straight], just like straight men are not attracted to all women. For me personally, there are very few gay guys I'm attracted to or desire being with. However, when traveling, I'm less interested in the sexual aspect of it, and simply enjoy meeting a local who can give me an insight into the culture. This does not mean that I'm sleeping with him [though I may].
I'm not quite I understand where you got the assumptions in the first part of your post.

quote:

Originally posted by gonorth:
[QUOTE]when you are traveling, it is FAR better to be gay

This news to me that I can have a choice.
QUOTE]

Its not a choice, but given the hand your dealt, being gay whilst on the road has advantages.

I see part of the point being that the guys and girls that are out at a gay bar are going to be more outgoing because in all countries of the world it still takes courage and outgoingness to come out. I agree, though, that a gay bar is a great place for anyone to meet any type of locals. I am a big fan of the straight people (especially visitors)that are in any given 'gay' bar or club.

Being gay traveling is certainly not better in many places where you will be killed or imprisoned if anyone finds out.

I'd say being a bi travler would have to win anyhow...

So all gay people are outgoing and want to go to bars? And straight people generally don't?

I don't follow, and echo NTFT's WTF.

If you are shy, whether gay or straight, going to a club solo isn't going to be the easiest thing in the world. If you are outgoing, gay or straight, it is going to be easier to meet locals. As someone in a city with alot of travelers, I am actually more apt to talk to a traveler at a bar and less likely to think he is strange.

You are obviously entitled to think it is easier to be gay, good on you. I am just pointing out your reasoning is a little faulty.

My point was more or less: The clientel going to a gay club or bar is not only as outgoing as the normal level of club goes. This is because being gay is not socially prefered so it takes an even higher level to 'risk' beeing seen at a gay bar for some poeple in their home nations.

You also make me think of a good point: I normally observe more locals going out to a gay bar alone--its purpose seems more directed at meeting people.

In fact, I would overall really have to disagree with the statement "Better to be gay when traveling" no matter what your goal is. I would replace that with a statement onlong the lines of "Meeting gay locals increases insite into a culture."

Overall I think its probablly a pretty leval playing feild I was just trying to see where Travel4Life is comming from...

quote:

Originally posted by Brambles24601:
You also make me think of a good point: I normally observe more locals going out to a gay bar alone--its purpose seems more directed at meeting people.

Ahh yes, this is very well put and to the point, and in fact what I was trying to write in my original post. Very often, gay men go to gay bars/clubs to meet new people. Straight people may also do this at straight bars/clubs, but are more apt to just want to have a chat and drink with a friend or dance with the crew they've amassed, rather than meet new people.

Gay people need these places to meet others like them. Straight people can do the same at work/school/on the street, etc. The gay traveler can easily take advantage of this situation.

I don't think being gay or straight makes you any less or more outgoing, despite coming out. Telling your friends and family at home would be completely different from saying 'Hi' to somebody on a bus or in a hostel in a foreign country. I just don't know how your idea works Travel4Life, without the massive generalization that most gay people struggle to make friends in the same way and settings as straight people, yet will bond instantly to people they meet in an acknowledged gay setting.

It seems that you've had some good experiences meeting people in gay bars, which is fantastic.
But gay or straight, gay bar or not, being able to meet people is totlly up to the individual and the setting. I've been to some really welcoming bars where everyone was keen to be friends, and one or two really cliquey ( ? ) gay places (mind you, I was there with a gay guy friend, I think everybody asumed we were a couple and weren't interested).

If it helps you, makes you feel more comfortable, then go for it.

emmm

I'm not sure what you don't understand. Because gay people can't [for the most part] meet each other in the general public, gay bars are used as a place to meet other people, not just hang with the friends you have already had.

I NEVER said that gay people are more or less outgoing than straight people. They are the same... sexuality does not dictate this. HOWEVER, most guys at gay bars are there SPECIFICALLY TO MEET OTHER PEOPLE!

I was the one talking about the outgoingness... Maybe I was just speaking from personal experience, but, all the gay guys who are 100% out that I know are more outgoing and also much more likely to go to a gay bar. The gay guys I know who are just out to their close freinds are much less outgoing and rarely go out to gay bars to meet people.

Personal experinces are great because they are that and thats the point of talking to other people--I'm not trying to argue that this IS true... I've just never taken that much time to think about it. I just assume out guys at gay bars are going to be more outgoing because that's what I've seen, I'd like to hear other peoples observations...

It seems that if you specifically want to meet gay guys for some fun, or to show you around, then gay bars would evidently be the easiest place to do this.

I just think that the mood of a bar is not dictated by the sexual preference of the majority of the patrons.

emm

quote:

Originally posted by EmmaEgg:
It seems that if you specifically want to meet gay guys for some fun, or to show you around, then gay bars would evidently be the easiest place to do this.

I just think that the mood of a bar is not dictated by the sexual preference of the majority of the patrons.

emm

Sorry, Emm, but perhaps you haven't been to many [any?] gay bars before. All other things being equal, they are used as a place to meet others to a much greater extent than a straight bar.