BootsnAll Travel Community

quote:

Originally posted by static:
Well, it is a proven fact that most straight people make great decorators or hair stylists and are also very promiscuous.

See, this is why stereotypes are so dangerous. I am straight and, in fact, quite devoid of any decorating skills or aesthetically oriented abilities. While I may be promiscuous, I just assumed that was the result of my abandonment issues, not my sexual orientation.

Seriously, this is ridiculous. Should we start a "Better to be a guy or girl?" thread too? Or a race based one? Every personality is an amalgomation of bazillion different influences and their relationship to the world, at home or abroad, cannot be reduced to just one of those influences be it large or small.

Hey! I say, everything Travel4Life says is true! It's fantastic to have this outlook, when many gay and lesbian travellers go out fearing that they won't be successful.

Right on T4L! Go get 'em! I hope your confidence catches on.

That's right, I'm a bear.

I think maybe this thread is less about better to be gay when travelling and more about the fact that meeting people is easier when you go to a gay bar. In most cities I visit I go to gay bars and straight bars. Being alone I am definitely welcomed more in gay bars then straight ones. Meaning I am approached by people asking if I want to join them since I am alone. In straight bars I tend to get the look over from girls and the creepy stare from guys. Just much less comfortable. This could just be coincidence but it has happened to me more than once in more than one city.

quote:

Originally posted by crackerjillian:
Seriously, this is ridiculous. Should we start a "Better to be a guy or girl?" thread too? Or a race based one? Every personality is an amalgomation of bazillion different influences and their relationship to the world, at home or abroad, cannot be reduced to just one of those influences be it large or small.

I'm not saying that the human "quality" of being gay is somehow better or worse than anything... my point is that there are gay-only institutations [ie gay bars/clubs], where if one of your goals of traveling is to meet locals, than fitting in at one of these places is advantageous.

And to be honest, I think a "Better to be a guy or girl when traveling" could be an interesting thread [though please note the "when traveling" part]. IN GENERAL, men can feel safer along their journeys. I'm not sure of the advantages of being a women. Discuss maybe? Or not...

I don't know why this thread annoys me so much, but it does.

Look, Travel4Life. I'm gay. I travel. Yes, if I happen to be traveling in a city that's large enough or liberal enough to have a gay bar,and I want to meet gay locals, it's super easy. Agreed. But that doesn't make it "better" or "easier" because, try to hear this part, straight people don't have trouble meeting locals. Okay, okay, maybe some of them do have a bit of trouble, but it's not because they're straight, it's because they're so damn boring. (Of course I'm kidding! Sort of. Some of my best friends are straight and I'm not the least bit ashamed of them. )

I think this thread is just poorly titled, that's all.

quote:

Originally posted by Not the first Travis:
I think this thread is just poorly titled, that's all.

This is true. Being gay very much isn't better when travelling in say Singapore. They will beat you and throw you in jail there if you are caught having gay sex (or any oral sex not followed by vaginal sex.) I really don't think I'd like that.

Straight people DO in my experience have a hard time meeting locals. I think this is because many straight people try less since they easily meet fellow travelers to hook-up with. While many gay men who want to meet people have took look further and the gay bar is the ideal place to do this. I have seldom met a straight person who got a free place to sleep, a city tour and an orgasum from a local who didn't speak the same language and after just a short chat(or set of advances **cough**cough**). I think that this is a cultural thing (yes--it DEFINATELY has its draw-backs) that most any gay bar is the heart of. I find it hard to say that a conversation had in a straight bar bares the equal amount of connection to the locals as a hook-up in a gay bar.

Sorry for being a bit blatent there but it just really seems like some people don't understand what advantages this thread is refering too. I doubt they are normally overriding the draw-backs, I guess, it depends where you are... and what choices you make...

There are reasons why this thread is wandering and won't have a nice clean conclusion.
A. It is titled poorly.
B. I don't even know what exactly anyone here is trying to say.

A few random thoughts flitting through my brain while reading through here.

-there was some comment about gay bars being welcome to all types- this is certainly not always so and its not even that rare to find a unfriendly-to-straight-females gay bar. I know, I've been in 'em and at least on one occasion the only reason I wasn't given the unbearably icy shoulder was because I behaved well and was with a very popular gay man. Gay people can be just as prejudiced and close minded as straight people- shocking, but true.

- Speaking as a young, straight female- I have NEVER had a problem befriending locals, on any level, thank you very much.

-I've never really heard of anyone having difficulty meeting locals gay or straight. If you'd like to make a thesis of who WANTS to meet locals more thats a whole nuther discussion.

Quote from Brambles: "I find it hard to say that a conversation had in a straight bar bares the equal amount of connection to the locals as a hook-up in a gay bar."

I don't understand what you mean by connection, have no idea how you propose to measure such a thing and have no idea how you can know such a thing.


I guess all I can say is I don't get it.

Obviously this thread is full of personal opinions, which is fine... Let's just remember they're opinions, which aren't right or wrong - they're just opinions. And we'll differ on them thar opinions, too. Discuss the issue without lambasting the person who posted about it - that's all I'm asking.

Carry on.

I am sorry that it appears that I have stirred up such a raucous. Of course straight people have a plethora of opportunities to meet locals while traveling. My point [once again] is that gay people have these same opportunities PLUS gay bars/clubs where the emphasis is on meeting one another.

Oh, and fair enough, I could have titled it better, perhaps:
Being gay provides additional opportunities to meet locals

I believe being gay as Travel4Life expressed it does allow us "gay men" to have an easy time of meeting new friends.

However, it helps if you are also "out-going," are friendly with a ready smile, and are young and good-looking.

While travelling I have found gay bars to be a convenient place to meet locals and "snag a local tour guide." Some places and people are friendlier then others; but I usually don't have to wait too long before some local suggests to "show me the sights."

However, on some occassions I might spend HOURS "nursing a room-terature beer" and perhaps looking too eager and pitiful and never meet or find anyone who is local or wants to become my "gay guide" for even and hour or two.

My beloved Marlin (of 30 years!) and I decided to start an LGBT travel club where host members can offer accommodations to guest members. This not only greatly reduces your travel expenses but also provides you with that much need "local gay guide" without having to hang-out in a gay bar for hours waiting for someone to step into your snare.

Check us out at www.hospigaiety.com Lifetime memberships are currently free!

Just speaking for myself, I'm a generally straight woman, but when I want to go to a bar in my hometown for cameraderie and fun (dancing, playing games, conversing with random strangers) two predominantly gay bars top my destination list. The straight bars around here seem to either be meetmarkets focused on fast-food sex or places that you go with people you already know because you'd have no hope of meeting people there. The two gay bars I'm thinking of definitely encourage socialization with people you meet there.

Just my observation,
La

I don't see any difference here. I've been to a few countries where I got picked up by girls who provided easy access (oops...) to the local people and the place. And if it's not the girls, then I find that going along with the 'machoistic behavior of young males' provides the same local embrace. I don't know if 'gay guys' (I hate those generalizations to begin with) do that stuff. My best friend who happens to be gay certainly doesn't. Yes, he does seek out the gay bars and clubs all around the planet. I go and get drunk with a few blokes. Or hang with girls. Eventually it has the same effect: you make friends. I just don't see any advantages/disadvantages in that matter.

quote:

Originally posted by Travel4Life:
If you are a straight guy in a straight club, the girls will be suspicious of you and the guys will have no interest. Gay guys are always interested in meeting foreigners and as we all know, its much easier for guys to get to know each other/familiar than a guy and a girl.

Most women are suspicious of ANYONE. After years of clubbing in my 20's...instead going to the club to meet guys, I actually would go to meet women. Not in a romantic way, just to make friends with people outside of my circle. And most women find it difficult to befriend other women in clubs or they dont want to. But I've had good experiences too, where my group hooks up with another group and you all go out together. That is the most fun. Or Id go by myself and you hook up with other women that came solo.

I think in a gay club, people are not as prententious. Straight clubs are soooo freaking prententious.

quote:

Originally posted by Travel4Life:
In many cities around Europe, I have met locals at the clubs/bars who then show me around their city during the next day[s]. Getting to know a local is far better than touring a city by yourself or even with a fellow travelmate you've met in the hostels or whatever.

I totally agree. Im gonna be solo travelling, and I can be friendly and outgoing....but I dont have intentions to hookup with people in my hostel. That would sorta defy the purpose of solo traveling. I may invite someone along to go with ME, but not the other way around, because Ill have my own agenda. And Id much rather make friends with locals, then other Americans. Besides, how else am I gonna hone my french?

quote:

Originally posted by Travel4Life:
If there is one disadvantage, its that if you meet a group of travelers and they all want to party, it will probably not be at the venue that you would have chosen.

Exactly. I refuse to goto some wackass club just to be with someone. I like reggae, hiphop, and jazz.