BootsnAll Travel Community

Not travel-specific, but for a writer needing a laugh... this is from suck.com... it goes on for several pages... just ignore the bit about online journals hehehe

Any other writerly comedy? post it if ya got it!

Thanks for sharing! It was fun to see identified with some of the negative and positive aspects of the writer's life.

A writer died and was given the option of going to heaven or hell.

She decided to check out each place first. As the writer descended into the fiery pits, she saw row upon row of writers chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they were repeatedly whipped with thorny lashes.

"Oh my," said the writer. "Let me see heaven now."

A few moments later, as she ascended into heaven, she saw rows of writers, chained to their desks in a steaming sweatshop. As they worked, they, too, were whipped with thorny lashes.

"Wait a minute," said the writer. "This is just as bad as hell!"

"Oh no, it's not," replied an unseen voice. "Here, your work gets published."

I write for Reader's Digest. It's not hard. All you do is copy out an article and mail it in again. - MILT KAMEN

A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

And a Writer's Checklist:
1. Verbs HAS to agree with their subjects.
2. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
3. And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
4. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
5. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
6. Be more or less specific.
8. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
9. Also too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
10. No sentence fragments.
11. Don't use no double negatives.
12. Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.

quote:

Originally posted by Taylor
A hungry lion was roaming through the jungle looking for something to eat. He came across two men. One was sitting under a tree reading a book; the other was typing away on his typewriter. The lion quickly pounced on the man reading the book and devoured him. Even the king of the jungle knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

LOL!!

Yous Guys are just so funny! For a good neurotic read of the writer's life, may I recommend Bird By Bird by Ann Lamott. Her description of what she thinks her editor and publisher are doing behind her back nearly made me pee. And remember, for a writer, it all depends on the QUALITY of the rejection slip.

Jet

thanks for the recommendation JetGirl~ I'll check it out~ along the same lines, "Blue Angel" by Francine Prose is a funny satire about a professor of creative writing at a small new england collge... the ending is twisted, but still a lot of belly laughs esp. if you've ever been in writing workshops.

Funny thing from class the other day, my prof asked, "Why do you think there are so many movies and books about writers?" well, duh~ 'cause they were written by people writing about themselves... lol... I'm not complaining tho!

Also I told my man the lion joke, he said, "writer's cramp? that's not funny... should've been, writer's BLOCK"

Hee. Hee. I like Block better.
Jet

Haha that's good. I second Ann Lamont's Bird by Bird, my prof last semester handed photocopy after photocopy of exerpts from the book.