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How do you respond to "I'm so jealous..."?

alscott

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  • Added on: July 19th, 2004
As I start to tell more people about my 8-10 month RTW, a common response is "Wow, I'm soooo jealous." I don't know what to say to this--I just kind of grin stupidly, while I think 1) You should be, 2) You could do it too, or 3) I don't know what to say to you!

I'm curious how others have responded to this or similar comments.
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oswiu

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  • Added on: July 19th, 2004
quote:
Originally posted by alscott:
I just kind of grin stupidly, while I think 1) You should be, 2) You could do it too, or 3) I don't know what to say to you!



Funny you should mention this... I've had tons of these conversations recently as I prepare to head off on my year long RTW (< 10 days now!!!) and my response is more or less exactly the same as yours. Except I actually say those things instead of just thinking them. Though I do also grin stupidly.
Perhaps I'm just lacking in tact Smile
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borderland

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  • Added on: July 19th, 2004
Many people are jealous, but most of them lack the initiative or the real desire to put it into action.
That's why travellers are so cool, and why I like meeting them on the road, and at bootsnall :-)

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cas

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  • Added on: July 19th, 2004
People are strange! Yes they say how jelous they are when you say to them do it then...they knid of go oh can't got house car job dog whatever. They just lack bottle.They will never know what they have missed...shame

elAdi

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  • Added on: July 20th, 2004
Yeah, there are plenty of those out there - and I always, always get on their case as soon as the sentence is said.

I mean, either you want to do it or not. If you grow up in one of the western countries, you usually CAN do it. If 'want' but don't, then it is usually entirely your own fault. So please, don't bother me with such superficial nonsense.

And guess what, some of them actually did go out there after I was finished with them (others obviously just think I an arrogant assh#$%). Wink

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JonathanOnTheRoad

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  • Added on: July 20th, 2004
quote:
Originally posted by cas:
People are strange! Yes they say how jelous they are when you say to them do it then...they knid of go oh can't got house car job dog whatever.


Perhaps what they are jealous of, is your willingness to put yourself on the line for what you want. Often they are jealous of the opportunity to do something different with their lives more than the oportunity to travel per se.

Most people are risk adverse, evolutionarily that is a good thing, it keeps them from doing risky things that get them killed. 'Course it keeps most people from doing things they perceive to be risks which sometimes includes travel.

So you say...

Thank you very much, I am really excited about the trip. It has been a dream of mine for a long time. I hope you get a chance to pursue your dreams...
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Duffy

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  • Added on: July 20th, 2004
they're all jealous...but not that jealous. i think a lot of the time it's a canned response and they don't really mean it. to them, it just seems like an appropriate response.

but i agree...i tend to say "come with me then. you don't have a wife, a mortgage or kids, so you can." you can all imagine the response / look.

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Teaching English in Spain...It's a Lifestyle


Prisa

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  • Added on: July 20th, 2004
I usually tell my friends that they 'should just do it, because if I can (and I'm horrible with money)then they can'.
allthough considering some responses you get out there, "i'm jealous" is one of the better ones.

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travis

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  • Added on: July 21st, 2004
You guys have friends? Now I'm jealous!

"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day." ~Frank Sinatra

IMoL

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  • Added on: July 21st, 2004
I get this fairly often as well. I usually encourage people to consider travel themselves with the 'Anyone can do it' speech.

Then there's this one when I meet people:

Them: What do you do?
Me: I travel.
Them: No, I mean for a job.
Me: Nothing.
Them: So you just travel?
Me: Yep.
Them: In a snarky tone Oooo, must be nice.
Me: Well it must be nice having a family, a car, a house, and a career, but we all make our choices, don't we?

Now obviously I've heard this a few times and am a bit touchy about it. I'm working through it. Really, I am.
- Andy     [my travel stories and photos]

Slaughterhouse

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  • Added on: July 22nd, 2004
I got that a lot when people found out that when my mom and I were going to Paris, it was me who was paying for her, not the other way around. People make rude comments about how "nice" it must be to be able to afford to travel - well, yeah. But I don't have a tv, dvd player, cable, car, etc. Must be nice to not have to get up at 5:00am to catch the shuttle into work. I chose to live without certain things because I can't live without travel!

alscott

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  • Added on: July 22nd, 2004
Thanks for all the great responses! I've been thinking about this more and I think what a few of you said is true--it's not that they really want to do exactly what I'm doing, but they're impressed that I have the guts to do something that I've dreamed about and that is important to me.

Jonathanontheroad, I may just use your lines verbatim next time!

I also realize that I should consider myself lucky considering the alternative--I think I have yet to encounter anyone I know personally who's questioned what I'm doing or thought I was crazy to "throw it all away" and I've certainly heard plenty of horror stories about the family, friends, and co-workers who think you'd be crazy to give up a good job, and any chance of settling down, to go on the road. I seem to be the only one in my circle who's having those thoughts occasionally!
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JonathanOnTheRoad

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  • Added on: July 23rd, 2004
quote:
Originally posted by alscott:
Jonathanontheroad, I may just use your lines verbatim next time!



I've always wanted to be Cyrano de Bergerac. Smile Seriously, I am happy to help any time. Good Luck.
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rambleturk

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  • Added on: July 25th, 2004
There's a lot of great advice on this string about responding to something most of us must have to deal with, but sometimes I don't want to feel like I have explain myself.

Of everything I've read here, I think Duffy's signagture says it best. "It's a Lifestyle." I'm going to try that next time and leave the asker to puzzle out what they think it means.

SurfingDan

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  • Added on: August 31st, 2004
Well said...

I agree in that I think the jealousy is for the most part a canned response. They claim envy and jealousy, but I'm sure in the same breath turn to their spouse or friends and say how crazy or irrational it is.

Not only is this rooting in Protestantism, but Capitalism and the rat race. I've had more than one person ask me if I'm worried that "I'll be behind" in my career when I get back. Behind? I ask, behind whom? Of course they have no reply, but that isn't enough to make them see the folly of their statement and views.

I also have the people who ask me what I'm searching for, or at first mention of the trip make comments in jest about finding myself. Perhaps I'm hoping to get to know myself better, yes. And I am searching for things: knowledge, experiences, life, etc. So I agree with them - knowing inside that I'm far from being lost as a person - and then let them finish telling me about the new car they're buying.
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"This is what you shall do: Love the earth and sun and animals. Stand up for the stupid and crazy. Take your hat off to no man." - Edward Abbey


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