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How to have sex in hostels

Nomadic Matt

Holds PhD in Packing
Posts: 228
Joined: May 9th, 2008

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Tags: hostels, funny
  • Added on: October 1st, 2008
In case you want to get some nookie on the road, here's a funny list about some do's and don'ts of having sex in a hostel.

Hope you like it!


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Community Manager
Posts: 1317
Joined: February 10th, 2005
Location: Portland, OR

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  • Added on: October 7th, 2008
And don't forget the now infamous masturbation post for those solo evenings.
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Holds PhD in Packing
Posts: 110
Joined: June 9th, 2007

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  • Added on: November 11th, 2008
Those tips made me LOL a few times.

It also made me sad that I've never had the experience of staying at a hostel. Frown


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Street Food Connoisseur
Posts: 579
Joined: March 5th, 2004

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  • Added on: December 18th, 2008
These tips are brilliant !! I know more than one person who should have read the : Don't do it in the top bunk, especially when its creaky and the rest of us are discussing the rhythmic squeaks.
After managing a hostel I have seen it all and also had to clean up after some who aren't so considerate.... so please follow the rules and clean up after!

It can be great fun... if you do it right Wink
"A trekking we shall go - preferably thru mud!!!"
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Thorn Tree Refugee
Posts: 2
Joined: May 19th, 2009
Location: Sulphur, Louisiana

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  • Added on: May 19th, 2009


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Guidebook Dependent
Posts: 21
Joined: June 19th, 2009
Location: United Kingdom

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  • Added on: June 23rd, 2009
Brilliant stuff Matt! :)
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Knows What a Schengen Visa Is
Posts: 402
Joined: March 29th, 2009
Location: London, UK

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  • Added on: June 23rd, 2009
trekker wrote:Don't do it in the top bunk, especially when its creaky

Or the bottom bunk!
Even worse when you are trying to sleep in the top bunk and its all going on in the bottom bunk - I practically got motion sickness from all the rocking going on below - LOLOL
Although I cant say that I am totally innocent of hostel sex - but not something Im going air here!!!!
Life is such an adventure, I can't wait to live it some more.


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Thorn Tree Refugee
Posts: 13
Joined: October 22nd, 2009

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  • Added on: May 23rd, 2010
I had the same idea for a blog a few weeks ago after living in a hostel where everyone was at it.

Since we live in the era of social networking it’s been interesting fun to update my Facebook and Twitter status on this trip and see the difference in replies. It has clearly shown that there is room for both if you have a particular interest. Twitter has been great for discussing travel and finding articles of interest to me. The response on Facebook has been less enthusiastic and I am often wondering if I should switch to drunken status updates and posting pictures of my dog just to fit in. There have been two things that have caught my Facebook friend’s imagination. My trip to the Fish Spa, which is weird enough to get anyone’s interest, and the day I updated my status with the news that I had just caught my quite frankly ugly German room mates having sex in my dorm.

So especially for all my Facebook friends here is my guide to having sex in a hostel.

Now first of all people are genuinely shocked that people would dare to have sex in a hostel, but I ask you if you put a bunch of young single strangers in a confined space and mix a little bit of alcohol what do you expect to happen? I always tell anyone who is about to embark upon their first ever trip that you haven’t been backpacking until you wake up in the middle of the night to find people having sex in your room. Extra points if you then spot another person watching and masturbating at the same time (hello Gavin). To be honest if you can’t laid in a hostel you may as well chop it off.

Let’s explore the options:

The shower.

What really surprised me about walking in on my chubby German friends was that we actually had an en suite in our room. Why be all squashed up and limited in a single bunk bed when the relative freedom and lock of a large shower was only metres away. Perhaps not the most romantic location but you can turn the shower on and go nuts. This seems to be the most popular choice for the horny backpacker. At my most recent hostel a friend of mine would clean in the morning for free accommodation and would advise me of finding a used condom or semen in the shower room floor ever day, to be fair. It was an excellent shower room.

The Laundry room.

Personal favourite. If you think it’s ok to do your laundry at 1:30am on a Friday morning you almost deserve to walk in on some hot sweaty panty action. You also have the advantage of props in the form of the machines and it’s pretty simple from then on in. Who doesn’t like the smell of clean laundry whilst your going at it?

The dorm

If you’re a backpacker you will at one point have to have done something sexual in your dorm. It’s in the rule book I am sure. I have lost count of the amount of times I have heard or seen couples having sex at night. The German couple was my first broad day light sighting but at least I caught them in the act whilst they found a quiet time during the day that they had probably used every day long before I arrived. I have been told a story about a couple who just came into a busy crowded room in broad day light and stated going at it in front of them. There are those who are especially creative who construct a tent like device in their dorm with bed sheets under the guise of giving them some privacy. Trust me they are going at it like rabbits behind the sheets.

The kitchen.

Not one I would ever venture into to, But I have heard stories of what went on over the cutting board. I didn’t cook again in that hostel.

The living room

Pretty self explanatory really. Some hostels have some really nice tv areas and snuggling up on the couch sometimes leads to a lot more. Couples pretending to be cold with a duvet are the ones to watch out for. My first hostel sex experience was in a cinema room where there were sofa’s stacked up in lines like an actual cinema. I do remember looking up at one point and seeing at least three other couples going at it in the different rows. It was like a scene from a 70’s Swedish porno.

The double room

Pretty much every hostel has at least one private double room. Yes they are more expensive than staying in a dorm but you will find if you have someone who you desperately want to spend the night with for more than a quick fumble underneath the sheet’s then you really should get a room. In my last hostel it cost a mere 6 NZD more each to spend a night in a double bed and more importantly a lock on the door. Whilst I couldn’t claim to be the greatest lover in the world I can claim to guarantee at least 6 NZD worth of entertainment. One other alternative is to sneak into the double room’s in-between check out and check in times. I know at least one horny/penny pinching couple who used to do that. I do recall staying at a hostel in Melbourne where the owner would just give the room to long term guests/couples if it wasn’t rented out that night. I wonder how many babies that generous act produced.

So there you have it, my guide to having sex in a hostel, I am sure there are a few people reading this with a wry smug knowing look on their face. Let me know if I have missed anything out!

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