How to stay safe on a forest trip
Best thing for bears is to raise your hands, and scream, unless it has a cub nearby. Then nothing nonviolent will save you. There is bear mace, but don't use human mace. That only makes the bear angrier.
A sword or spear might be useful if a tiger charges. Oh wait, Tigers only attack when your head is turned away from it, so wear one of those funny face masks on the back of your head all the time, even if there are no tigers. It may fool the odd cougar too.
Aside from that, the best solution is to stay out of their way. If a bear likes to attack your backpack, let it have it. Don't keep food in your car or tent. Keep it tied up in a tree in a bear proof container. Cars are not especially bear-proof if the bear is motivated.
Piranhas only attack people in the water, so just don't go into pirahna infested waters.
Make plenty of noise tramping around. Snakes appreciate the warning so they can get out of your way.
If a colony of army ants starts swarming near you, run away and pray you don't trip. You may go past the ants territory. Anything living on the ground or on trees eventually gets eaten, regardless of size.
Well, that's what he said.
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