Icebreakers: What 's your choice?

I was reading one of the guides and it suggested taking along something to make ice breaking easier when you're constantly meeting new people.

I've got a very short attention span at the best of times so I usually carry a pack of cards and a small ball (usually a tennis ball) to entertain my self, appart from the strange looks, they usually work quite well.

If you were the worlds worst person at striking up conversations, what would you take with you to break the ice with other travellers and possibly even the locals?

I know this might sound funny...but I say, "Hello, my name is Sean" while I reach out for a handshake or a nice wave if I am a distance away. I also smile while I say this.

I would say that 9 out of 10 time or more, this is enough of an icebreaker to start talking.

Sounds simple - but it works!

I'd have to agree with that ^^^^ . If you're looking for something that's going to make people come up to YOU and say hi, I think you're going to be out of luck. The best icebreaker I've ever found is a friendly attitude, a cordial "Hello", and a genuine interest.

Even though shy by nature when I want to have a conversation, I do as the 2 above posters, just say Hi/Hello with a . It works the majority of the time

Speaking as a conversationally challenged person, I don't think "Hi, my name is X" is a good answer. I mean, it's a fine way to get someone's attention and open a conversation in a friendly way, but the most common response is something like, "Hello, X. My name is Y," which puts the ball right back in my court in terms of coming up with something interesting to say on the spot -- even worse, it adds an element of time pressure since it'll be awkward if I just stand there taking my time coming up with something. (People to whom smalltalk comes effortlessly don't, I think, have any concept of how stressful and difficult it is to start a conversation if you lack that skill; it's like being given a pop quiz when you haven't been studying.)

A few things that seem to work well for me, mostly for talking with locals:

- If I'm traveling in Taiwan or mainland China, I always talk to locals in Mandarin, which I speak at an intermediate level. It almost doesn't matter what I say, because they will get fixated on the fact that a slightly geeky-looking white guy is speaking Chinese, and will start peppering me with questions about my language skills. This gets old when I actually have something specific I want to talk about, but it makes random conversations far easier to get into since the conversations tend to follow a certain predictable flow and I have well-practiced answers ready for 95% of what they're likely to say in the first few exchanges. My assumption is that this effect is not unique to China.

- Ask the person if they're originally from the city / place you're visiting. If not, ask why they moved.

- Ask what their favorite local delicacy is, and where they recommend you go to eat it.

- Ask what some other person is doing, if there's someone nearby doing something that's not common where you come from.

- When you're walking around, make note of and jot down any signs whose meaning you can't figure out. Ask what they mean.

If there's a theme here, it's "ask." I have much better luck getting conversations rolling if I start by asking something than if I start by stating something.

I usually just start with a good ol' American "how's it going?" If someone doesn't want to talk they'll just tell you a curt "fine" but if they want to chat they'll probably mention something else as part of the interpretation- what they did that day, how their food is, future plans, whatever.

I should note that for locals this conversation can go anywhere, but for travelers there's definitely a pre-cut "formula" that it almost seems is obligatory, where one has to say where they're from, what they're doing, and where they're going in a sentence or two. I think we all realize this though, so with travelers I'll often just cut to the chase and say "so what's your story?" as most are quite happy to tell you after all.

I agree with the others but there will be times when you'll meet those of the opposite sex and freeze up and it helps to have some little something to untie your tongue. A great t-shirt with a really puzzling logo on it can help--the sort of thing that makes folks look again and say, "Whatszit?"

I'm a bit shy at times and I've found that having something soothing to do with my hands can keep me calmer and if it's something that someone else can help you do, even better. I'm beating my brain trying to come up with a better example of this, but once when I was a camp manager, I sat down to count the change that kids had donated to charity and to roll it into coin rollers and the kids all came over to help me and we had the best conversation ever and no one wanted to go to bed that night.

go girl now wrote:I agree with the others but there will be times when you'll meet those of the opposite sex and freeze up and it helps to have some little something to untie your tongue. A great t-shirt with a really puzzling logo on it can help--the sort of thing that makes folks look again and say, "Whatszit?"

I'm a bit shy at times and I've found that having something soothing to do with my hands can keep me calmer and if it's something that someone else can help you do, even better. I'm beating my brain trying to come up with a better example of this, but once when I was a camp manager, I sat down to count the change that kids had donated to charity and to roll it into coin rollers and the kids all came over to help me and we had the best conversation ever and no one wanted to go to bed that night.

That's more what I was thinking, I'm also a bit shy (I'm a bit of a nerd) so having something interesting to break the ice is one of my go to tricks. My friends also consider me a bit ADHD, if I've not got something to distract my self I end up saying something stupid or worse, something inapropriate.

How much does a polar bear weigh?

enough to break the ice.

whatsthisbuttondo, Stop playing video games, stop watching TV. If you dont do any of those sorry for assuming. Start doing some yoga/meditation. read some books.Get outside more, talk to more people. All it takes is practice and its hard but you HAVE to get out of your little comfort zone of just you.

There are a lot of interesting people out there, step out of your box and just talk to people. But dont try to fake it, they will know, you have to have genuine interest to keep somebody in tune.

it only gets easier to talk to strangers with practice.

WhatsThisButtonDo wrote:

go girl now wrote:I agree with the others but there will be times when you'll meet those of the opposite sex and freeze up and it helps to have some little something to untie your tongue. A great t-shirt with a really puzzling logo on it can help--the sort of thing that makes folks look again and say, "Whatszit?"

I'm a bit shy at times and I've found that having something soothing to do with my hands can keep me calmer and if it's something that someone else can help you do, even better. I'm beating my brain trying to come up with a better example of this, but once when I was a camp manager, I sat down to count the change that kids had donated to charity and to roll it into coin rollers and the kids all came over to help me and we had the best conversation ever and no one wanted to go to bed that night.

That's more what I was thinking, I'm also a bit shy (I'm a bit of a nerd) so having something interesting to break the ice is one of my go to tricks. My friends also consider me a bit ADHD, if I've not got something to distract my self I end up saying something stupid or worse, something inapropriate.

I'm ADD too so I know exactly what you mean. Eye contact can be difficult, which is probably why having something to do with your hands is so helpful.