Ha, ha: for all that I was preaching the benefits of solo travel above, I'm currently consumed with pre-trip nerves and the biggest worry gnawing at my guts is the fear of being lonely again

It's worse even than my fear of cockroaches!

(It all seemed easier at 19...)

But, heck, this is what the boards are for. It is great to read everyone's thoughts on this and be reminded that there is no point in denying that it will get lonely at times -- but would I rather not go on that trip???

I have to snap out of this

The part that I have found difficult about travelling solo is that after awhile I get sick of introducing myself over and over and telling my whole story repeatedly. The whole, "this is who I am", "this is where I am from", "this is where I have been".... Does anyone else get tired of that after a few months? Sometimes I would prefer to be alone rather than introduce myself and tell my story for the 100th time.

There were times when I travelled alone and did meet people but still felt a craving to be around someone I really knew and who really knew me; someone that I had an actual history with. So even when you are with people it is still possible to feel lonely. I agree that solo travel is great, but I certainly don't think it is for everyone.

But as someone mentioned above I believe, feeling lonely is a way of growing and challenging yourself as well. You'll increase your comfort zone and learn to feel ok about being alone or feeling lonely. It's a natural feeling and there's nothing wrong with it (except that it feels poopy).

It's only as lonely as you want it to be...

Well I have done plenty of solo travel and I am mos def sick of certain aspects. I used to be able to hang out by myself all day and check out a city and have a blast without ever talking to anybody else. I dont know if it has something to do with getting older or what, but being alone just isnt all that cool anymore.

But if you are travelling then you are in luck. Hostels are the best places to meet all sorts of cool people from around the world. And if you cant find someone to hang out with at the hostel then there is allways bar hopping. Both are excellent ways to meet new people. Just sit down inbetween some random folks at a pub and strike up a conversation about anything, I have rarely had this result in anything but new freinds. I also agree with SpiceyMel about just listening to people and asking questions, its the quickest way to win someone over.

Think it is all down to the individual. If you are friendly and outgoing you won't have a problem hooking up with people - otherwise you will quickly learn to be friendly and outgoing.

Solo travel makes even the shyist of people come out of their shell. Great confidence builder as well.

I have travelled in a group, with a girlfriend, with two male friends and on my own.

Based on what you might know about me I will leave it to you to decide which way I prefer to travel.

I have to say that I too on occasion just craved to have someone around who really knew me and I didn't have to "explain" who I was and what I like etc. Not often but occasionally.

Oh, I totally agree w/ SoloTraveller and also Marisa -- it's as lonely as you want it to be, it's what you choose to make of it, and it's highly dependent on the individual.

I think there's ample opportunity to meet others and have social interactions while travelling, and of course sometimes you might be somewhere where that just doesn't happen, and you can't seem to find anyone to connect with...so yeah, no matter how outgoing you are, there will definitely be lonely days. Like Capt Steve said, if you go into it knowing that those days will happen, it makes it a lot easier.

Now onto the individual aspect of it - I'm not outgoing, and more often than not I prefer to be left alone and to my own devices, as I'm not a fan of chitchat, and socializing w/ many people exhausts me...so in my case, I sometimes choose for solo travel to be lonely travel. But there are def. times where I am feeling social - and if I really wanted to meet people, I could find a way to meet them. So no, solo travel doesn't have to be lonely travel. Depending on the person, it might really pull you out of your comfort zone though to make it un-lonely.

That barhopping thing doesn't work everywhere; in some places everyone seems to be part of an intimate couple or a group gossiping about work colleagues from home (yeah, really, even in Batticola, Sri Lanka, when there were no other foreigners but me and those English people) and I just can't approach them. It depends on the vibe of the place.

That 'where are you from' question started to grate on my first trip back in 1984 and still does -- just try doing the expat thing Worse, some people immediately start speaking German to me (I think in English) and some even ask whether I enjoy my holiday -- after 18 years and one work-related nervous breakdown. So, yeah!

I guess this trip won't be such a bad thing, at least I will be on holiday!

those are all great, well thoughtout answers. Thanks so much for relpying to my post everyone, you've opened my eyes

hi everyone I haven't been back in forever. I've travelled alone and usually meet people. I've gone places where I didn't know a soul and found friends along the way. Other times, though, I didn't really connect with anyone. It's kind of a hit or miss thing. But I like solo travel, myself.

Hi Ryan, I´m in the exact same position as you are now, bit scary , isn´t it? but after reading spiceymel´s first entry, well I really conected with what she wrote, and I agree that you´ll find nice people if you want to and have a smile on your face, so If that´s what you want :

Very interesting topic.

Here's my 0.5 penny. I think that travelling solo can be a very spiritual expreience. Alot of personal growth goes into it. For those reasons I would recommend. the tricky part is the duration. From person to person it varies. Some need 1 month alone and cannot hadnle more, others can go up to a year on the road alone.

Go for it, no need to be scared. it's a hell of an adventure. Only then will you learn a whole lot more about yourself. Nice time to meet yourself I guess.

Hooligan - I think you make an *excellent* point regarding the duration of the trip.

I hold a certain amount of fascination towards those who travel for extended periods of time - like greater than 6 months - by themselves. Probably because they are opposite of me! I'm one of those silly people who totally get rejuvenated off of a 5 day trip by myself (I've learned 3 weeks is my limit!) and am ready to come home...of course then I want to go on another trip a month later!

I think it also depends on the person as to how they define loneliness; others have mentioned this in the thread, but it's very easy to feel lonely even if you have people to talk to, or people to share experiences with. I think some people cope (for lack of a better word) better with shorter, more frequent, changing relationships - and even thrive off of them - whereas others might not. So that probably ties to the duration of how long the person would want to travel solo.

I think living alone is a good precourser to travellng alone. They are not exactly the same, but living alone you learn to rely on yourself, learn to entertain yourself, and be alone at times.
I'm living alone again (THANK YOU JEBUS) and while at times I curse it, because all my friends are in relationships and I am not, so at times nobody wants to go out...I find things to do with my time that are enriching, and then I feel good about myself, which in turn makes me feel good about living alone.

I sorta do the same thing on the road. If nobody is around to talk to I'll work on my Arabic penminship or reading about the area I'm in.
In Belize I had a day of 'no friend down time' and I spent it reading a magazine, and the history of Malcolm X, in a hammock. I felt good afterwards about my learning and relaxing.

It's always good to bring a game plan of what to do when you're feeling lonely. Maybe you can think up things before you go and that will help you when you get there. Hand held Tetris is amazing by the way

After 7 months travelling, and meeting people mostly through some language courses I've been taking, I too am a wee tired of introducing myself (specially cuz i have a relly long introduction).

I also can relate to sometimes wishing I were with people more than just 'friends of occasion'. Everyonce in a while I'll meet people who I think are great but it always ends.

Having someone to share with you this amazing trip you're embarking with also has its benefits. Some of the best moments are when you're sitting somewhere, beer in hand, talking about 'those days'.

After 9 months, when I go back to the US, I shall have no one to sit down with and just raise a bottle in cheers with. I'll have friends all over the world (ok, Europe) but it's not the same.

Alas, it's a curse of the human condition never to be just happy with what we got