Just got this from a fellow 'cube farmer.' I'm sure there's other/better lists out there, but this one isn't a bad start. The army men thing is kinda' cool.


Top Ten Things To Do When You're Bored of Writing E-mails At Work
(moanings of a cube-farmer)

1. Declare "Tawk Like a Gangstah Day", and re-type all 'yo e-maylz in urban-onics.

2. Throw some curveballs at your favorite search engine; nothing skews an optimization heuristic like a search for "+midget +ASCII +pr0n +cookbook"

3. Attempt to move objects around your desk using only your mind and a cleverly-concealed length of string.

4. Arrange a bunch of little army men on your desk. Aim them all at one of your coworkers. Insist that it's "purely a defensive measure".

5, Create a blog for your cat. Fill it with ranting, political invective against "our simian masters".

6. Browse Monster.com for jobs that could potentially suck more than yours. Apply to them.

7. Clean your keyboard. With q-tips. And water. And go key by key until it's spotless.

8. Go to a random forum you've never visited, preferably one that caters to a topic you have no interest in and know nothing about. Jump on and ask lots of stupid questions.

9. Knit a hedghog.

10. It's all about Twizzler Pull-&-Peels...what could they do for your cubicle? What tasks could they automate?


I'm sure there's more of these lists going around....let's have 'em!

google your boss.

ONE POINT GAGS

1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

2.Groan out loud in the toilet cubicle. (At least one other 'non-player' must be in the bathroom at the time.)

3. Ignore the first five people who say "Good morning' to you.

4. Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and sy: 'Just called to sy I cann't talk right now. Bye.'

5. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

6. When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily,'Mmmmmm, that feels soooo good!'

7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say 'Sorry, I really prefer it that way.'

8. Wald sideways to the photocopier.

9. While riding in a lift,gasp dramatically every time the door opens.


Have a nice day, Whistler.


If you can keep a sense of humour and see the funny side of life, you will never be old. SMC.

quote:

Originally posted by Whistler:
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

I want to try this while seated in my office chair.

11. GET BACK TO WORK AND PRAY I DON'T DECIDE TO TAKE YOUR WEEKEND AWAY, YOU MISERABLE, LAZY CURS!

Mahlerite, Evil HR Manager.

quote:

Originally posted by Mahlerite:
11. GET BACK TO WORK AND PRAY I DON'T DECIDE TO TAKE YOUR WEEKEND AWAY, YOU MISERABLE, LAZY CURS!

Mahlerite, Evil HR Manager.

Are you logging onto Boots as part of your evil HR duties????

This one rocks...

quote:

7. Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say 'Sorry, I really prefer it that way.'

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by ferml:
This one rocks...
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Glad you liked it, here are a few more:
THREE-POINT GAGS
1. Say to your boss "I like your style," and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.

2.Babble incoherently at a fellow employee, then ask "Did you get all that? I don't want to have to repeat it."

3. Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice.)

4. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle. (There must be a 'non-player' within sight.)

5. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.


FIVE-POINT GAGS
1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the National Anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch off/on ten times.

3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob."

4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you 'really have to go and do number two.'

5. After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "The report's on your desk mon." Keep this up for one hour.

6. While an office mate is out, move their chair into the lift.

7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up."

8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again."

9. In a colleague's diary write: "10.00a.m. See how I look in tights."

10. Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna swap?"

11. Repeat the following conversation ten times to the same person: "Did you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind. It's gone now."

12. Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I cann't talk about it."

13. Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's one a lunch for four at a local restuarant. Let him go.

14. Speak with an accent (French, German, Donald Duck, Porky Pig etc.)during a very important conference call.

15. Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk.

16. Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out to you.

Have a nice day, Whistler.


If you can keep a sense of humour and see the funny side of life, you will never be old. SMC.

7.

quote:

Originally posted by Skyehiker:

quote:

Originally posted by Whistler:
1. Run one lap around the office at top speed.

I want to try this while seated in my office chair.

Well did you?

Has anyone actually done any of these things? Do tell.

I just read "I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell" by Tucker Max last night. It's hysterical but a little more extreme than this.

Burton

I had actually planned when I would be in the cube farm for a while to do this...when, to my surprise, our secretary had scoped out an AWESOME deal on SUHWEEEEEET leather executive desk chairs. As much fun as it would be to encircle the cube farm a la Speed Racer, it would possibly piss off the secretary to see her efforts end up like that. Understandable...she searches & searches & scores an awesome deal on a really swank chair (love it!!) and I go tearing around with it? Not.

As any professional knows, a good secreatry (and ours is incredible) is not to be pissed off. The Cube Farm 500 will have to wait....for a while at least
I make it a point to get her a dark chocolate shake from Steak-&-Shake at least once a week, so as soon as I've racked up a few more shake points, I'm probably safe for at least a "demo lap."

The manager of our Occupational Therapy dept. has a cube near mine, and is looking at fun options for the "Twizzlers" one, 'tho (do you know what an O.T. can do with Twizzlers? Scary.)

Yeah I have done the chair around the office thing before. It was okay I guess, no trouble from the higher ups or anything... Iwould rather have a race 2 vs 2. Used to do that in high school.

I got a couple of people in my office with the fake winternals bsod (on M$ website) oh so fun.

Loved the "setup army men and point at your coworker, tell them your just getting your defenses ready. I drop a bomb on that.

J

A couple of years ago I had an internship with cubicles... we would flick rubber bands at each other by bouncing them off of the walls.

(The room was also small...)

We have "meh" contests. Very easy to play. Someone starts by saying "meh" at regular volume, and then someone must reply by saying "meh" louder. Winner is the one who has the fortitude to say "meh" last. Best played in morning meetings and during quiet afternoon lulls.

If you have a hole punch sitting around, collect the chad for a while and then pour into a coworkers umbrella on a rainy day.
Put a piece of cellophane tape over the laser window on the bottom of a coworker's mouse.
Switch a coworker's right and left mouse buttons.
Take a screenshot of someone's computer desktop, set the pic as the background and hide the desktop icons. Watch them click the icons on the background pic to no avail.