I think it is funny to watch them squatting at a public phone booth. We were having problems with fitters taking their jobs down to the floor to disassemble them. The expats teaching them were getting so frustrated but as an old health and safety rep I convinced them that in fact it was far safer to do the disassembly on the floor as you couldnt drop things and hurt yourself or further damage the equipment. finally everyone was happy. We got the Chinese to bring the disassembled parts up to bench level. In the thhree years of China I have never had to use a squat toilet to defecate. I guess i have been lucky but still when I was in the bush in Australia you just put your back against a tree and went there so i guess if I had to it may not be a problem. The problem however is if you use toilet paper. You must not use more than three sheets at a time or you risk blocking the outlet (which is only 400mm in most cases. Most toilets have a plunger handy. Girls we all know what else you shouldn't put down a Chinese toilet.

quote:

Originally posted by SimilanDiver:

As for wiping! most people through asia use toilet paper on the dining room table. If you have a hose (best way) spray fairly closely. Some places actually do wipe with other hand. give yorself a quick wipe, in the surrounding areas, with your hand to flick off excess water then wash your hands.

Yeah, I just realized that this is what people do here the other day. I was like, C.J.,I think they use their hands. I'm having a hard time shaking hands after that, especially considering how scarce soap in bathrooms is here.

Thank the good lord for Purell.

Just the thought of making a dive for Uranus with the hand gives me the jeebies!! I had to try the squat toilets a few times in Singapore / Indonesia - that floor gravy!! Give me seat cooties any day!! I tried the "pants down just so far, balance, etc" but came undone at the hosing section. My pants were wetter than my bum. I tried the "one shoe off, pant leg off, stand on shoe, next shoe off...." caper. The amount of time it took me to get undressed, balance clothes in a precarious spot (no hooks!!), balance over hole and keep clothes in their posi at the same time, hose myself without wetting shoes whilst balancing clothes in posi (not possible - something has to give), redress by reverse of above undress procedure!! I think for future I will concentrate on hose / water control procedures.

Here is another situation but with western toilets. After working on tourist boats I am not a stranger to "hovering" over the toilet seat in rough seas. It is very satisfactory to come away from that unscathed - but definitely gives the thighs a workout. I promise it eases over time. Only thing you need to watch - and this you can only learn from experience with particular sea conditions and the particular vessel type - is to recognise the particular pitch that is going to end up in "sprayback". Armed with this knowledge you can be an expert in knowing when to quickly remove behind from firing line and close lid. We had pretty white uniforms that we wanted to stay that way!

Just read this entire thread and, having momentarily stopped laughing, decided to list my top 5 favourite phrases I've just learned:

floor gravy
poopy shrapnel
butt gun
pulling out the giblets
knocking the Klingons out of orbit

quote:

Originally posted by starhobo:
Just read this entire thread and, having momentarily stopped laughing, decided to list my top 5 favourite phrases I've just learned:

floor gravy
poopy shrapnel
butt gun
pulling out the giblets
knocking the Klingons out of orbit

We refer to it as the "Ass Jet 3000". Still haven't tried one.

Yeah, I just realized that this is what people do here the other day. I was like, C.J.,I think they use their hands. I'm having a hard time shaking hands after that, especially considering how scarce soap in bathrooms is here.

*

Keep in mind that when you are wandering around a city or out in the boonies - it is always best to have your own toilet paper in your carry bag. Handi wipe, the moist hand wipe things are indispensable on trips.

Then even if you do pull it off, where do you hang your clothes? You ever see a coat hook in those places? Not me. And you can't hold on to them. We've already discussed the number of other things you have to concentrate on when in the "position". Holding your clothes should not be one of them.

*

Along with a spare roll of TP and some handiwipes I also have a bent wire hook to attach to the door or somewhere. Usually I have been able to find some sort of nail or hook to hang things.

Is that what that thing is for? Ugh! I always used it for extra water to flush the toilet with. Glad I didn't rinse my toothbrush off in it! Ugh!

Pinoys call it a "tabo". It's notorious for being brought around the world... Check out my friend Isabelle's online album, she has a Travelling Tabo series of pics at Isabetlog's Multiply Page. (I dunno if you can see it though, it might be closed to the public... hilarious!)

(Whoops, guess someone forgot to "paste" the "copy" on the previous post about a "tabo.")

Glad I didn't use a tabo to clean my toothbrush with!

quote:

Originally posted by crazyal:
Yeah, I just realized that this is what people do here the other day. I was like, C.J.,I think they use their hands. I'm having a hard time shaking hands after that, especially considering how scarce soap in bathrooms is here.

Ahh... but the rule is you wash your nether regions with your LEFT hand and you eat and shake hands with your RIGHT.

<Ahh... but the rule is you wash your nether regions with your LEFT hand and you eat and shake hands with your RIGHT.>

This rule puts we Left-handers at a distinct disadvantage!! But then I suppose, how will you guys know which hand I used?!?

I have yet to use the toilet without having my own TP on hand but as far as squatters go after 2 uses I don't see what the difficulty is. I think it is actually MUCH easier than hovering over a nasty western toilet.

I couldn't possibly read through all 70 replies here right now and I'm sure people have covered it but I feel like the squatting makes clean up much easier since you ... umm, tend to spread out a bit more and less gets in places you don't want it.

This must be the best thread I've read yet. I haven't laughed so hard for a long time. After reading it from beginning to end , from start to finish I am wondering why it is so hard to accomplish the use of a squat loo.

You see my mother had a very strong aversion to the sitting on public toilet seats. One of her main admonishments was always, "Child, you must NEVER EVER sit on a public toilet seat." And "other PEOPLE have been on it before you and it is full of germs." Mum always, but always, carried a roll of toilet paper in her voluminous hand-bag.

She said "You must NEVER EVER use the toilet paper in them because you never know who has used it before you or where they have had their hands."

So, after years and years of having to "kangaroo it", one becomes quite adept at "squating'. When travelling on interstate trains going at the rate of 100kms or more, swaying from side to side so badly you think that there will be a train derailment, you manage to hover your rear end over the constantly moving loo complete your ablutions, little jobs and big jobs, without getting any widdles or poopies anywhere or on your clothing. Then with great fanfare, (They really should play Mozart's Overture of The Marriage of Figaro) at this achievement, you gingerely proceed to clean yourself. Always remembering ladies, to wipe from front to back, never from back to front, because that is very dangerous and unhealthy -- you could get "germs" in the wrong part of your anatomy, according to nurses at the Royal Women's Hospital.


So. When as children, we went to the Country, out in Woop Woop (the Sticks to you Americans) there were never any public loos. One just found a bush squatted behind it and did what you had to do. And let me tell you, when in the Australian outback, nothing so civilised as a "Water Hose", oh no! You precariously balanced yourself making sure not too much tall grass got up your bum not to mention all the bull-ants an inch long that would just love to bite, held your dress and all the frilly petticoats off the ground and hoped a snake didn't come along.

To get back to hole-in-the-ground loos.

1. When taking down ones trousers or shorts, slowly slide the top half down to just above the knees.

2.Using the left hand slowly slide the trouser legs up up and up to your knees.

3. Now start to go into squat mode.

4.Then, and only then, using the right hand, move both top and bottom of said trousers together so they meet in the middle.

5. Using the right hand, not the left, hold firmly grasped.

6.Once this has been accomplished, we then move on to our stance.

8. Start off by wriggling your hips and posterier around much like you would see a golfer do when he is getting ready to putt.

7.Whilst getting into position, gradually move each foot out using a sideways sidle, until beth feet are approximately 30 inches apart. this is VERY important so as to reduce and mimimise any unwonted splashing.

8. Now, using both hand together on your trousers (undies included) take a good look to check the position of the toilet hole.

9. If said toilet hole is slightly off-centre, move your feet crab wise to correct this impediment, remembering to keep a distance of at least feet between left and right foot.

10. You are now ready to do what needs to be done.

11. When finished, start to unroll toilet paper off the roll of toilet paper which naturally you have been holding with your trousers.

12. Wiping from front to back, complete the cleaning process until finished. You will know when that is by the clean loo paper .

13. Moving slightly away from loo hole, stand up, stuff remainder of toilet roll in your pocket,and pull up trousers and rezip or rebutton.


See. It's easy once you know how. And no bull ants or snakes!



Have a nice day, Whistler.

If you can keep your sense of humour and see the funny side of life, you will never be old. SMC.

See that's why I love you guys! I wasn't quite sure how I was gonna do it (I'm leaving for India in 3 weeks and will be there for a month) I'm only taking long long skirts and probably going cammando if I can get away with it. I'll start practicing the squats now. This should be a sport!

I am very, very new ( like yesterday) and was going to write my introduction when I thought I would just check this out. The result is that I do not have time for my introduction - I have spent all my allocated time laughing - and of course being educated in the art of squatting. I am currently a much wiser person who did not realise the complicated strategies required, I will now go away and practice. Thank you all for a very hilarious half hour. (Introduction to follow).