Ready to go "home" but....

I'm probably going to ramble a bit here, so bear with me.

First some background....I'll be 42 soon, from the US, never married and no kids. I've quit my job three times to "do my own thing". Most recently was last October. Since then, I spent two months traveling though Central America and then 4 months living in Medellin, Colombia, studying Spanish.

When I left, the goal was to live long-term in another country. But I'm finding that I really miss the US, faults and all. Mostly, I've gotten tired of "living in another language". I'm considered intermediate in Spanish but I don't have the energy to progress further. I'm not one of those people who love learning languages...for me, it was more of a way to reach other goals. It's more than language though...I tried living in the philippines a few years ago and that really didn't fit me either.

So I'm ready to return home. The problem is that I have nowhere to call home. As an adult, I've lived in lots of places - Ohio, Baltimore, DC, Oakland, Portland. Never really found a place where I wanted to settle down full time and have no desire to return to any of those places. My family and friend are spread throughout the US so I have nowhere I can go where I'll have a ready made social network. Plus, most of them live in big cities and I'm quite frankly tired of big cities.

Meanwhile, I have no idea what to do about work. There's no way I can return to what I did in the past (mostly government drone jobs) even if someone would hire me given my spotty resume. But I also have no marketable skills. And I've spent too much of my life in school already. (the good news is that I have enough money that I can go awhile without working, not that I want to do that).

Anyway, I would appreciate any input/comments. And no worries....I don't expect anyone to give me the magic answer.

I can understand where you're coming from - in fact, we have a LOT in common (age, former jobs, former locations, etc.). I don't particularly miss living in the US but sometimes I miss living where it's, for lack of a better word, easier.

Have you considered living in a country where the culture and/or language is not so different? I love Mexico but I do admit that at times there's part of me that misses living in a more 'western' culture. I've no desire to return to the US but I would love to live in Europe again some time.

Have you thought of starting your own business? If you're anything like me, after spending that much time out of the US you'll have a hard time settling down in one spot with one job. Particularly if it's a smaller town which (in my experience) tend to be more culturally dead and closed minded. The fact that the current job market sucks and your resume is like swiss queso won't help either.

If I were you, I would work on developing a business that I can work from anywhere. Then I would have the freedom to wander as I will without worrying about employment. Then I'd maybe go back to the US and visit some friends/family to see if there is anywhere that strikes my fancy (for me the answer would be no) and, if not, head to an English speaking country and see if perhaps you can find the best of both worlds - a place that is different enough to be interesting but no so different that it's work to live there.

Anyway, hope this makes sense. It's a bit of a ramble to match yours I think. It just struck home because I'm stuck somewhere I don't want to be right now so I really have an itch to move on. Oh well, soon enough.

Hope you figure out what you want to do. Treading water gets tiring after a while.

This is going to sound crazy, but here it goes:

If you have sufficient money- you have time to figure out what you want and where you want to do it. You are now essentially homeless, so first of all, get a home. Find a base, make friends, and do volunteer work if you need to occupy yourself for the present.

2. Go to a university, sign up for some courses as a non-degree student.

3. Go to their Career counseling center, and take a battery of tests to see what kind of jobs you are suited for, and what kind of job you are emotionally prepared to do well in. It costs some, but indecision costs more.

4. Find a path and take it. Leap. Take a stafford loan to fund this leap, because why shouldn;'t the government help you? That is, if it involves a new degree or certification.

If it doesn't, then find a business to do on your own, possibly arranging tours?

One solution might be to find a spot overseas, and open or work for a hostel. It doesn't pay a lot, but it keeps you in company with travellers, without being one. Its a good feeling.

Volunteering long term is also another option, where you can use your spanish skills to help people and make a home with the people you work with, especially if its a live-in situation.

I almost did that myself.

Now I've gone the other direction, ie, grad school. If you do decide to go to school, do it now. The older you get, the harder it becomes.

As someone who has had a fairly laissez faire attitude to careers, I am 43 and this is my second year running my own business. And at this stage in my life, apart from my marriage and two young kids, it is the most fulfilling thing I can do.

Luckily I have chosen a seasonal business (wine industry), which means I work my arse off for 6-9 months, then I can relax for the rest of the year.

You mentioned that you had some money, so as others have said, it seems a good direction to consider.

Wow, thanks so much everyone!!! I really appreciate your taking the time to reply to my message. My comments are below:

1) Yeah, I've definitely thought about living in a country where the culture/language is more similar. Just not sure where that would be. As far as I'm aware, it's pretty difficult for Americans to live in Western Europe. Which leaves Eastern Europe. Just not sure how much English is spoken there and the local languages are a lot harder than spanish. Would love to hear more thoughts/ideas about this.

2) Theoretically I like the idea of being "location independent". In another thread, Vagabondette74 mentioned that she works when she wants to and doesn't work when she doesn't want to. That definitely appeals to me! And I have a certain envy of people who make their living off of blogs/websites. Still, I'm not sure that's me. If anything, I need to reduce my computer time and I also crave connection with people. Beyond that, my ultimate passion is to do something to help kids in a developing country. Figuring out how to do that while also making a decent living is one of the challenges.

3) The school thing is definitely off the table. I already have two masters degrees and a teaching credential and will be paying off student loans till I'm in my mid-late 50s. That being said, I am open to "training" as long as it doesn't involve going back to a formal university. From previous career counseling, I'm "supposed" to be good at things like teaching or counseling but I've given both of those a try and didn't find them to be a good fit.

4) The hostel (opening one) and the volunteer long-term are both things I've thought of. Particularly the latter. Just not sure where I'd want to do that. Plus, I'd eventually have to make money. Still, the idea continues to percolate in my brain.

5) I have considered opening my own business but I also know myself well enough to know that I'm not the "work my arse off for 6-9 months and then relax" type. That's one of the reasons I ultimately decided not to go into teaching. I need more of the opposite...working about 25-35 hours a week, year round.

Geez, I hope this post doesn't sound dismissive of everyone's ideas. You all have given me a LOT to think about and as I said I really appreciate your taking the time to respond. I'm open to additional thoughts/comments/ideas.

I have considered opening my own business but I also know myself well enough to know that I'm not the "work my arse off for 6-9 months and then relax" type. That's one of the reasons I ultimately decided not to go into teaching. I need more of the opposite...working about 25-35 hours a week, year round.

No worries, plenty of business need 24/7 care!

I would find it difficult to open a hostel unless you hire some help to cover shifts so you can actually have a life. Met a guy who ran a hostel by himself in Split, the guy was miserable because he was stuck there almost all day, everyday, by himself pretty much, except when his mom comes to clean the place.

Have you considered TEFL teaching?

It doesn't necessarily have to be in a school with set hours but can be with a language school a few hrs a week. There is a demand pretty much any where in the world & there would be other expats to mingle with.

EMH wrote:When I left, the goal was to live long-term in another country. But I'm finding that I really miss the US, faults and all. Mostly, I've gotten tired of "living in another language". I'm considered intermediate in Spanish but I don't have the energy to progress further. I'm not one of those people who love learning languages...for me, it was more of a way to reach other goals. It's more than language though...I tried living in the philippines a few years ago and that really didn't fit me either.

Personally, I wouldn't find much enjoyment in living in another country where my standard of living is substantially different than that of the average locals. I prefer places where I can easily live, work, etc. along side the locals and not amongst other expats. Perhaps you may feel similar. Obviously this would point to Canada, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and the UK for English speaking destinations and the rest of Europe/Japan for non-English. Of course, for those without the requisite skill sets and/or cash flow, getting in and making a living are always the hard part.

K2 wrote:I would find it difficult to open a hostel unless you hire some help to cover shifts so you can actually have a life. Met a guy who ran a hostel by himself in Split, the guy was miserable because he was stuck there almost all day, everyday, by himself pretty much, except when his mom comes to clean the place.

Yeah I think that's true of lots of businesses, especially the brick and mortar type. My cousin and her husband "escaped" the rat race by opening a sandwich shop. For the first few years, they worked every day of the week, closing for a month in the winter. Now, after 4 years in business, they "only" have to work 6 days a week.

busman7 wrote:Have you considered TEFL teaching?

It doesn't necessarily have to be in a school with set hours but can be with a language school a few hrs a week. There is a demand pretty much any where in the world & there would be other expats to mingle with.

I have. As I mentioned, I do have a teaching credential though I've never really used it. I could see myself doing something like that short term if I needed to, but doubt I'd be passionate enough about it to do it long-term.

halfnine wrote:

EMH wrote:When I left, the goal was to live long-term in another country. But I'm finding that I really miss the US, faults and all. Mostly, I've gotten tired of "living in another language". I'm considered intermediate in Spanish but I don't have the energy to progress further. I'm not one of those people who love learning languages...for me, it was more of a way to reach other goals. It's more than language though...I tried living in the philippines a few years ago and that really didn't fit me either.

Personally, I wouldn't find much enjoyment in living in another country where my standard of living is substantially different than that of the average locals. I prefer places where I can easily live, work, etc. along side the locals and not amongst other expats. Perhaps you may feel similar. Obviously this would point to Canada, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and the UK for English speaking destinations and the rest of Europe/Japan for non-English. Of course, for those without the requisite skill sets and/or cash flow, getting in and making a living are always the hard part.

Honestly, not something I've ever given much thought to. I do agree that if I were living in a "first world" country, I wouldn't want to have a standard of living LESS than the average local. In a developing country though, I'm pretty sure I'd prefer to have a HIGHER income than the average local.

Anyway, finding a way to legally work and live in the countries you mentioned would be a challenge. And one I'm not sure I have the skills to overcome.

EMH wrote:

halfnine wrote:

EMH wrote:When I left, the goal was to live long-term in another country. But I'm finding that I really miss the US, faults and all. Mostly, I've gotten tired of "living in another language". I'm considered intermediate in Spanish but I don't have the energy to progress further. I'm not one of those people who love learning languages...for me, it was more of a way to reach other goals. It's more than language though...I tried living in the philippines a few years ago and that really didn't fit me either.

Personally, I wouldn't find much enjoyment in living in another country where my standard of living is substantially different than that of the average locals. I prefer places where I can easily live, work, etc. along side the locals and not amongst other expats. Perhaps you may feel similar. Obviously this would point to Canada, South Africa, Australia, New Zealand and the UK for English speaking destinations and the rest of Europe/Japan for non-English. Of course, for those without the requisite skill sets and/or cash flow, getting in and making a living are always the hard part.

Honestly, not something I've ever given much thought to. I do agree that if I were living in a "first world" country, I wouldn't want to have a standard of living LESS than the average local. In a developing country though, I'm pretty sure I'd prefer to have a HIGHER income than the average local.

Anyway, finding a way to legally work and live in the countries you mentioned would be a challenge. And one I'm not sure I have the skills to overcome.

Really depends on the country- it's pretty easy to live in Canada if you're an American (not sure they'd let you start a business with open arms tho), NZ lets pretty much anyone in so long as you have a certain amount in your bank account, and getting into South Africa as a tourist is also the same as a "temporary worker" permission for six months- the latter is technically for miners etc, but I've met more than one person working at a hostel who was taking advantage of it being legal etc.

Oz is likely too difficult per my current understanding. Europe too unless you have a parent (or even grandparent) from there, often that's enough for a citizenship so you're in the door.

As another option, you can really make bank teaching in China, Japan, or Korea outside of English as there's such a high demand at the international schools. Not a long term thing for sure but I've met quite a few people working in such a school for a year or two to top off funds and then go for a wander.

Andromeda wrote:
Oz is likely too difficult per my current understanding. Europe too unless you have a parent (or even grandparent) from there, often that's enough for a citizenship so you're in the door.

Several months ago, I looked into Italian citizenship since my great-grandmother's from there. Unfortunately, my dad was born in 1940; to get citizenship, he would have had to have been born after 1948.

Haven't been able to find any similar citizenship programs for Germany or Switzerland (where my other relatives are from).