Tales from the TSA

More great cartoons at http://www.mattbors.com/

Coming soon...

Flying the paranoid skies

When an iPod fell into a toilet on my flight to Ottawa this week, authorities took no chances with such a perilous situation

Air ban on woman in blasphemy row

A devout Christian was banned from flying with the budget airline Easyjet after she asked staff to "stop blaspheming".

Harry Shearer's Le Show: Tales of Airport Security: "Where do they get these nutbags from?"

quote:

Originally posted by static:
Flying the paranoid skies

When an iPod fell into a toilet on my flight to Ottawa this week, authorities took no chances with such a perilous situation

The guy who accidently dropped is iPod in the toilet speaks to The Register...

FAA Bans People From Flights

'Zero Tolerance for People,' Chertoff Says

In a move aimed at further tightening airport security, the Federal Aviation Administration announced today that it would ban all people from flights leaving or entering the United States, effective immediately.

The FAA, which has in the past banned such objects as toenail clippers and hair gel, took the extraordinary step of banning people after the Department of Homeland Security conducted a thorough investigation of previous terror plots.

"We looked at terror plots of the past, and in each and every case, people were involved," said Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff at a Washington press briefing. "These new rules send the strong message that the FAA has zero tolerance for people."

Mr. Chertoff said that while banning liquids from flights was a constructive step, the only true solution was to ban people altogether.

Faces may reveal motives

DULLES, Va. -- As the man approached the airport security checkpoint here recently, he kept picking up and putting down his backpack, touching his fingers to his chin, rubbing some object in his hands and finally reached for his pack of cigarettes, even though smoking was not allowed.

Two Transportation Security Administration officers stood nearby, nearly motionless and silent, gazing straight at him. Then, with a nod, they moved in, chatting briefly with the man and then swiftly pulling him aside for an intense search.

Another flier had just made the acquaintance of the TSA's "behavior detection officers."

While this is still absurd considering the other security risks that still exist such as cargo, it makes a million times more sense than "random" searches.

This toothpaste and shampoo will fly...

ATLANTA -- It's a grainy substance, sprinkled from a dispenser onto your moistened toothbrush.

Powdered Toothpaste Substitute might not make your pearly whites shine brighter or whip cavities any better than the standard gel. But it has one leg up on the competition: You can legally tote it onto an airplane.

With most non-solid substances banned on flights, makers of personal items for such body parts as teeth and nails are fighting tooth and nail to promote available alternatives. Or in the case of Travelon, a product design firm in Elk Grove Village, Ill., that specializes in luggage goods and accessories, rush out fresh items.

Put food in checked luggage

Q. Several readers called or wrote to say they're still confused about what they can take on airplanes in the wake of travel restrictions that started this month in the U.S. The questions included: Are barbecue sauce and frozen poi allowed in checked luggage?

A. The federal Transportation Security Administration is not allowing most liquids, aerosols or gels in carryon baggage — including bottled water, shampoo, and toothpaste — and other items of similar consistency. Even yogurt, pudding or Jell-O.

But Honolulu TSA customer support manager Allen Willey said most foods are OK in checked luggage. Oddly, the folks at the checkpoint will take away your bottled water or coffee, even though at most airports you can buy identical beverages a few feet past the checkpoint. At the jetway, airline officials will have you throw them away when you board your plane.

Willey said he knows the beverage policy can be somewhat puzzling.

quote:

Originally posted by static:
This toothpaste and shampoo will fly...

ATLANTA -- It's a grainy substance, sprinkled from a dispenser onto your moistened toothbrush.

So a white mystery powder is ok to bring onto a closed ventilated people carrier. Can we freak out about Anthrax again, too?
This has got to stop, I'm becoming way too cynical...

Don't know how many of y'all read Salon but Patrick Smith, a former airline pilot and now weekly columnist, has had some very good articles regarding air travel and especially security as of late. You can check out his most recent article here (subscription or free day pass required).

More proof that the majority of my fellow Americans are pig-stupid cretins:

A new USA TODAY Gallup Poll shows most Americans overwhelmingly support current security measures and don't want the new rules of flying relaxed. Among the findings of the poll of U.S. adults, taken Aug. 18-20:

• 77%say they think airport security is effective.

• 70% say none of the security measures used in airports should be stopped.

Link to USA Today story

Maybe it was really 'A new USA TODAY Gallup Poll shows most Americans who read USA Today overwhelmingly support current security measures'?