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Travel and love relationships (is it time to go home?)

dimz

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  • Added on: July 15th, 2011
I'm a bit lost these days. I've been on the road for a bit more then one year. I started my trip with no travel experience at all and full of excitement and passion. I made a rough itinerary before leaving with things I wanted to do and see. Then I left. I took a plane and arrived at my first destination.

Things were great, awesome, exciting. I met some new friends, most of them being locals, travellers and expats settled in cities for a while. And I ended up staying longer in places thinking of just going with the flow, leaving my rough plan aside. A first love relationship emerged. We had awesome times, but it wasn't the right person for me and I ended up suffering a lot, during and after the relationship. Then I got over it and went on travelling, till the next city... and the same thing happened, again. New friends, new love relationship, and again, more suffering...

And here I am now, still in the aftermath of that second relationship. I have a hard time to pick up with travelling. Nothing interests me, lots of things from my rough plan I haven't seen but I lack energy to go on. Meeting new people seems difficult, while generally this isn't an issue for me. What should I do?

I feel like being lost in my travels and it doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. I try to think positive, smile, do some physical activities, but I end up falling in that same shitty mood over and over again.

This sounds like the typical break-up talk and it is typical break up talk. But being far away from home makes it harder and I need an outlet right now.
"Open-mindedness is a process of listening and considering--of muting your compulsion to judge what is right and wrong, good and bad, proper and improper, and having tolerance and patience to try to see things as they are." Rolf Potts

Andromeda

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  • Added on: July 16th, 2011
Sounds like classic travel burn-out. If you've been going for over a year that's not terribly surprising, the question is more what to do about it.

How long are you staying in a given place? (Probably awhile if it's long enough to have a relationship?)

dimz

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Joined: March 17th, 2010
Location: Belgium

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  • Added on: July 16th, 2011
I used to go with the flow, so when I met some people/friends in certain places I would hang out a bit longer. I was 3 months in one city and 3 in another.

What to do about it? That's my question now. Should I go on and maybe find back that travel vibe while moving? I've been in that same country for quite a while and I think that maybe changing of country might be a wise option. New landscapes, different mentalities...

One thing I realized is that love relationships and travelling are not the way to go, not for me at least. In my future travels I will avoid to get involved on that level as it turns out to not turn out well in the end. People have to leave, move on, are themselves afraid to get involved because of the particular situation and so on.
"Open-mindedness is a process of listening and considering--of muting your compulsion to judge what is right and wrong, good and bad, proper and improper, and having tolerance and patience to try to see things as they are." Rolf Potts

Andromeda

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  • Added on: July 18th, 2011
dimz wrote:One thing I realized is that love relationships and travelling are not the way to go, not for me at least. In my future travels I will avoid to get involved on that level as it turns out to not turn out well in the end. People have to leave, move on, are themselves afraid to get involved because of the particular situation and so on.


Ah yeah I've been there- not like I mind the occasional travel romance :) but most initial chemistry in a relationship depends on whether someone's right for you at the time and those tend to be quite different on the road. Plus the whole meeting someone nice only to learn you'll be inhabiting different continents kind of sucks too. (Not knocking potential for them to bloom into something more, but I think it's even less likely than normal relationships.)

Three months in a city is definitely a bit and gets into expat territory- you're also in the point IMO in an expat's life where the new glamor of living somewhere dies down a little and you get homesick. So unless you want to put down roots where you are and get through adjusting proper it might be worth your while to give traveling at a quicker pace a shot- I mean if it sucks you can always go home right?- maybe aim for someplace very different from your current locale so it'll hold your attention a bit more.

dimz

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Posts: 45
Joined: March 17th, 2010
Location: Belgium

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  • Added on: August 4th, 2011
Thought of giving some update here. First of all, thanks for the replies.
I slowed down the travelling a bit and have been on hold for 2 and a half weeks in a city now. I'm still in the aftermath of that second relationship but things are going better now and I slowly feel that I want to go back on the road again, might give it one or 2 more weeks before heading out of this country. I really learned a lot of those experiences and I hope it will serve me now and later on in my life.
"Open-mindedness is a process of listening and considering--of muting your compulsion to judge what is right and wrong, good and bad, proper and improper, and having tolerance and patience to try to see things as they are." Rolf Potts



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