Biking Family Abuse

To summarize - this guy accuses us of abusing our children because my husband and I are living our dream of bicycling around the world with our children.

I guess I just don't get it. We are out there biking because we want TIME with our boys. We want to see our boys grow up. We want to provide them with the best education we possibly can. Is that a bad thing? I guess this guy thinks it is!

It's strange - what John and I consider to be the BEST thing we could ever do for our children, this guy thinks is one of the worst? And I love how he says - "the kids appear to be healthy and happy". That's because THEY ARE!!!

It's never nice to be attacked, so you must be feeling upset - I hope you are ok. I guess I can see his point of view to a certain extent, but I think he was overly harsh and I certainly don't think from reading your blog that you are abusing your children. I am speaking as someone who plans to take my children on a rtw trip, so I am pro-travel with kids. I think the thing about parenting is that it is so intensly personal. We all think our way is the best way, otherwise we wouldn't be doing it - there are no grey areas unlike some other parts of life.

My parents don't approve of our plans to take our children travelling, even though they travel extensively themselves - they think you should give children a stable life with regular school etc. So we are going to have to agree to disagree on this one, much as I would like their blessing.

No two families operate in the same way, yet the vast majority of children have a good childhood and grow up to be reasonably well adjusted adults, which just goes to show that there isn't a *right* way of bringing up children, despite what most of us think (myself included!).

As much as I would like to say I'm letting it all run like water off a duck, the truth is that it bothers me. We thought a lot about whether or not we should blog on our journey - and decided we would do it in order to try and encourage other parents to live their dream WITH their children.

I think society expects certain things of us, and it's really, really, REALLY hard to make the decision to do something differently. I know we struggled long and hard with that decision - were we "right" to take the kids out of school for a couple years? Were we doing the "right" thing by taking this trip? In the end, we decided we were absolutely doing the best thing for our boys and opted to go. We are hoping that maybe, just maybe, our experiences will empower other parents to do the same.

I suppose there is a certain amount of selfishness in our decision - we wanted to travel. But isn't that how parenthood is? Football dads want their kids to play football, racecar drivers want their kids to drive, hunters take their kids hunting.... We all tend to want to encourage our children to do the very things we are passionate abaout ourselves.

Don't worry about it. Everyone is entitled to their opinions... and his are just wrong

We're now at the other end of the tunnel with our kids leaving home for university. Next year, my wife and I will be on our own for the first time since we had our kids 21 years ago.(!) The thing I am most grateful for as a parent is that we did take our year off to travel with the kids. Travelling was not the biggest benefit - it was being together as a family with no distractions: No cell phones, no work, no business trips, no phone calls, no parties to attend, no chores, no organized activities. You focus entirely on the kids.

I'd like to think that as a result of our trip, our kids were very close to us through their teen years. You'll definitely have the same benefit with your gang, which is something that author does not understand. Too bad for him because he is missing one of the best parts of life.

I am sorry to hear that it hurts your feelings, but I really don't get that he is saying traveling with children equals abuse.

I have to agree with wallop that I can see his view to a certain extent and I bet many others can as well.

He seemed to have two core points. One was that you were making money off the kids to pay for the travel and the other is that you were doing some really dangerous things with kids ( using your own words to demonstrate that).

I know you are a bike fanatic, but you must realize that you are on a really "out there" trip, even for adults, let alone with two children. It would not be if it was for a week or two or a month, but it is for several years of biking with young kids in dangerous areas.

I remember being freaked out at one of your first pictures of cooking your dinner right next to a toilet. Yikes! This is not your typical family affair or typical family travel, not even typical world tour family travel. You saw it as ordinary,but most won't, so be prepared for that.

When you talk about freezing weather, impossibly long bike rides day after day, rides on 500 foot drop-off cliffs that scare the adults to death...well, this is unusual for adults, let alone children. Most don't see that as fun and many would be fearful for the kids.

The people who wrote "One Year Off" also got a lot of static about the danger they put their child through. I think most were concerned about the 2 year old as it was a fairly stressful/dangerous trip for one so young at times.They spent 6 months of that year in one place in Oz, plus had a nanny with them for most of it, so much of it was cushy as well.

What is dangerous or cushy for one person, might not be for another.


You say you want time with your children, but if that was the case, then you would just be somewhere alone with them. Time together does not require travel or biking.


That doesn't mean it is not a good thing, nor that travel is not a good thing. For some people, for many reasons, ANY travel with children is bad. You can not please everyone.

Like Wallop also said, every family is different and this is the life that you choose as a family because you think it works for all of you. Perhaps you do not worry about friends for them because they have each other. Homeschool is often attacked, so that part is nothing new ( even though the top colleges like the results of kids homeschooled well).

It does appear like a pretty harsh life to me, to endure for a few years, but perhaps that's because I have just one child and she is a girl. Perhaps our slow travel would be equally agonizing to all of you or someone else.

I truly understand the desire to spend time together and traveling is a great bonding plus working as a team and shared experiences are so valuable. I do think one must work in the needs of the child/children though and apparently you think that you are and I trust your mothers instinct as it is clear that you both love your children very much.

We like biking, hiking, adventures and exploring the world, but we value the time together and education based on experience more than anything, so go very slow usually. We like to be in nature, we like exotic travel, but also like some luxuries and are very careful about exposing our child to any dangers, just as we would be at home.

My daughter makes friends instantly when we travel, but since we are traveling for an extended time, we decided to go back to the same 15th century village, so she has a consistency to her life even while we travel the world.

This really works great for all of us.We like blending the deep immersion for months with the slow travel. Perhaps you will do more of that at some point.


I do think it is important to consider all the needs of the child/ren. We think it is important for our child to have a few toys & lots of great books. She can & does play with nothing or nature at times, but its also nice to have some & she does have to sacrifice the multitude that most have.

She really enjoys having sleep overs and seeing her Spanish friends every year in the winter. She still keeps up with her friends at home in Ca as well as friends we meet on the road ( via email and skype).

Meeting her social needs is very important to us. I think it must be considered when doing extensive travel with a child/ren.Only you know what your son's social needs are.

There is no right way of doing it and every parent must decide. It will probably not please everyone no matter what you decide.

I don't agree with the original post that you linked, and I support your journey, but I do think it is an important point to bring up about traveling with children and how to meet all of their needs while traveling.

I think a lot of thought must be put into this before take off and one must be willing to constantly check in with the kids and be proactive in making sure that all their needs are getting met.

Traveling with children, spending time with your children are absolutely wonderful and important goals. We all need more of that in society IMHO.

I am not talking about you, but I think sometimes parents DO put their own needs before the child's needs. I think each parent should think long and hard about whose needs are being served by the travel. Family travel must be kid friendly, kid nurturing, kid educating ... above all else.

Thanks for your thoughts!! I do think each family has to consider their own circumstances and decide what's right for them. I think the fact that my boys are still having an absolute blast and woldn't even consider quitting this trip speaks by itself.

We are going considerably faster right now than we want to - but we all knew when we started that we had to get south before winter set in so we would have to push hard these first five or six months. Once we get down to Mexico we'll be able to slow the pace waayyyyy down and take a lot more time to play.

Nancy -

I've been reading your blog for months now, and it is such a highlight to my day. I've been recommending it to my friends, especially those who bike.

I don't bike; that's my disclaimer. However, I would have LOVED to have been able to take such an adventure as a kid. Did this guy who wrote the article never have a sense of adventure growing up? Didn't he read The Hobbit and wish that he could have gone on some kind of magical journey? I know one of your kids reads the Eragon series - I guarantee you that while he's biking, he's really imagining going on some epic journey on the back of a dragon. Exposing your kid to hardship and discomfort isn't that big of a deal, and quite frankly, I think more parents should do it. Didn't he ever get cold playing outside or skip a meal because he was having too much fun? God forbid this guy finds out that we take our toddler camping and backpacking where there is NO RUNNING WATER or CENTRAL HEATING. For Pete's sake.

I just told a fellow nurse where I work (pediatric trauma center) about the jist of this article and she said "Really? He thinks that's abusive? He should come here and see what child abuse is really all about." I agree, a sense of perspective is necessary.

My seven year old self is super jealous. Hell, my thirty-two year old self is super jealous.

Traditionally in the UK, we like to toughen children up by exposing them to the elements. It's a less popular theory these days, but when I was a baby (in the 1970's), I and all the other babies were left outside for hours in a pram. If it was cold they just bundled us in blankets. My friends and I all talk about exercising our children like puppies and a day never goes by, whatever the weather, when we are not outside for a walk. If it's raining we splash in puddles, if it's freezing cold we try and fail to get the toddlers to wear gloves and hats. My brother in law lives in Germany with his German wife and three children and their children always wear at least three more layers of clothing than our children. They are shocked that our children run around without a coat when the temperature is in the fifties. We think they are over fussy about stuff. I guess what I am trying to say with all this is that cultural norms are different and one person's sensible is another person's overprotective.

I think this guy's comments about abuse are trivialising what some children genuinely suffer.

I've thought a lot about that editorial - and finally come to the conclusion that I feel sorry for that guy's kids!! Yes, there are days when we are cold or thirsty - but not very often. The vast majority of our days are absolutely delightful.

My son, Daryl, summed it all up best on the last day of our last trip. In his final journal entry he wrote, "The trip is over. I liked the trip because there were more good days than bad." Isn't that how life is? Yes - there will be bad days. Lots of them. But as long as there are more good days than bad, we're OK. We'll muddle through the bad days knowing there are good days ahead.