Using the toilet in Asia

A Filipino friend of mine recently informed me that Filipinos in the US use a bucket of water to wash themselves. That explained the casino chip bucket I've seen in his bathroom and wondered about.


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I hope they change the water every now and then!

I do notice that in Asia (particularly Thailand, Philippines, and Malaysia) there is almost always a spray doodad hanging on the wall near the toilet.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I HATE the holes in the ground and never squat. I make sure my feet are way in front of the hole and brace myself up with one hand on the wall behind the hole.

by Alex Deez, geez

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I have been trying to incorporate this into my own bathroom ritual since I feel cleaner after washing with water (taking a shower) than after using paper

This could be especially so if you have an extra hairy bum but as far as learning something new, it comes quickly if a diet change has you busting.

If you're in a city, might be a chance you can sneak into a classy hotel catering for westerners.

Maybe I'll have to put on the inventors cap - a couple of rings and three stays would make for a portable stooling stool to give you a nice ring of confidence.

A small (cheap) plastic chair - with a hole cut in the middle of the seat - is the easiest answer.

Damn site easier than testing your balancing skills.
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Originally posted by poochythedog:
Being a vegan doesn't help with the bowel control. I go 4 times a day on average. That being the case, toilet paper runs out fast. I read over the link pepdrug posted on this topic. It seams the consensus is to be a master of the water hose/cup or use your left hand to assist pulling out the jiblets with your fingers. Besides the fact that is completely disgusting (even if you are culturally open-minded), I still think this would create a bigger mess.

Eat more rice, starch.

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Master, I have done this training you speak of. The problem is not the squatting. It is the combination of squatting and control of the water hose without soiling or wetting my royal garments. One also has to have the self-control to operate the spigot with one hand to turn the water on and off, while holding the hose with the other hand and holding the squat pose at the same time. I may have seen that once at a Cirque de Soleil performance, but those performers are very strong and train relentlessly. I am just an average person. Maybe this is what Buddha was contemplating when he said "Life is suffering". Maybe if he had a porcelain toilet he would've said "Life's not too bad."

Close but not quite...

start building up those leg muscles and doing yoga for balance

To be honest after getting used to the squat technique and bum gun, I was quite a fan.

You people are making me seriously reconsider my entire trip to SE Asia.

I do believe I'm going to invent an inflatable Western toilet for backpackers to "pack it in, pack it out" of SE Asia as if it were a national park.

I second best thread ever. As for the squating and "bum gun" I found that after being in SE Asia for 8 months I missed it when I returned to the land of dirty butts. Its just not the same after using the water hose. If you have noticed walking around SE asia the people squat all the time not just to shite but eat do chores what ever it may be your ass that close to the ground will mean no poopy shrapnel. You'll figure it out or smell, one of the two.

Ahhhh...such wonderful memories, excellent thread.

this is one area where short strong thighed girls like myself have an advantage.

I never found instructions for squat toilets, but there is a picture of how to use a western toilet in the bathroom in the Siem Reap airport.

(and my ass has been laughed at by a half dozen Vietnamese kids after i paid them to bring me to a hole in the ground)

Actually we prefer to call it the Butt Gun.

And try out the Butt Gun before using, as low water pressure is barely helpful, and high pressure is frightening - if not debilitating!

Its all about where you put your weight. You just gotta lean back!

If you are up on the balls of your feet then after about 30 seconds your thighs start shaking and you get those sweat beeds forming on your forhead. Your ass muscles tense up from supporting your body and dropping the kids off becomes virtually impossible.

If you are sitting back on your heels, your knees hold your weight and you can balance while keeping your legs relaxed. Practice it in your room or whatever. After a while I just started sitting like this to eat when there wasn't a chair around. Your legs start to fall asleep after a while but its comfy!

Like with the rest of life, squatter toilets are 90% mental. If you think you can do it, it will be easy. Don't get discouraged and don't put to much pressure on yourself.

Keep on keepin' on.

Poochy... the one true answer is practice, practice, practice. I guess I have the advantage of growing up using squat toilets. With the level of cleanliness (or lack thereof) of toilets in SE Asia, I much prefer using the squat variety. I don't want to rest my hiney on a nasty toilet seat with cooties. As you've probably noticed ass gaskets are virtually non-existant in SE Asia.

Here's how it's done:
- Pull your pants and underoos down to just above your knee level. This is very important. If your pants are below your knees it's likely to fall down to your ankles and soak up some floor gravy. Keeping your pants right above your knees as you squat locks them in place.
- Rest your forearms on your knees as you squat. This will help you to keep your balance.
- Lean your torso forward slightly as you squat, keeping your center of gravity firmly over the balls of your feet.
- When you're done dropping the kids off at the pool grab hold of the ass hose with your right hand and turn on the faucet to a low flow. This, too, is important. Too much water flow will be difficult to control... basic Bernoulli Principle in action here.
- You should route the hose from the rear with your right hand. Using your right thumb at the end of the hose you should be able to regulate the flow of water and pressure to a nice soft squirt which you'll aim at Uranus. Hose off the Klingons, using your left hand (from the front) to aid in knocking the Klingons out of orbit. The left-front/right-rear arrangement of your arms is yet another clever method to keep your center of gravity above your feet. Both arms rear or front will no doubt cause a cantilever effect and cause you to lose balance.
- Once all Klingons are successfully dislodged from orbit around Uranus, you can turn off the faucet. Do a slight jiggle if necessary to aid in the drip-dry process.
- Grasp your pants and underoos as you start to stand up. Again, timing is essential here to avoid said garments from falling on the floor and soaking up the floor gravy. In a smooth motion you should now be standing up with your pants pulled up.

... now that wasn't so complicated, was it?

Pete, that was both gross but wonderfully nerdy. Thanks for the step-by-step!!

loF'ingl