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Using the toilet in Asia

poochythedog

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
Does anyone have an instructional video or pictures of how to use the squatting toilets in SE Asia? The last time I used one I was without toilet paper so I had to use the little lovely hose provided to wash my kibbles-n-bits. I lost balance and got my shorts soaked. My Malaysian friend verbally told me how to do it, but I can't seam to get away with it clean. I've shat in the woods hiking without a mess but can't use an Asian toilet without 4 people holding me up and washing me down like a circus elephant.

static

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
(setting up lawn chair)

Justin7199

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
great, now cut a hole in the lawn chair and poochy's set
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static

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
Without giving away too much information, let me say that I have also found the squatter toilets difficult to use. In my world, one shouldn't have the balance of a ballet dancer simply to poop.

trekker

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
Hey there

I lived in Korea for 3yrs and they have squatters everywhere. Usually the oblong jobbies.

*First you have to make sure you have strong thigh muscles to support you.
*The easiest way for me, being female, is to squat, pulling pants forward in front of you,
*then lean the top half of your body forward to get the right balance.
*Kind of like pushing your butt out!
*Once you done with your business I prefer to wipe from the front, (trying to lean back and wipe your rear always ends you in messy situation).

Its all about balance, just imagine you are on a teeter totter or see-saw (depending on what you call it).

Once you manage a squatter in a moving train after a few drinks you know you have graduated to "Master Squatter". I have my degree somewhere.....

Hope that helps , enjoy your ablutions and good luck!!!

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pepdrug

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006

Not the first Travis

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
"That's sort of the double black diamond mogul run of squatting."--D. Lansky

Nice link! Smile

emmaonline

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
What is an elderly person with arthritis supposed to do? I wouldn't imagine that they would be able to perform the squating thing very well!

Eppyboy

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
what are we talking about again???

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SimilanDiver

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
This is a great question. There is a guy who wrote a small book about how to use toilets around the world. I think the last time I saw it was at REI? Maybe on amazon?

Anyhow, squat toilets are great. I actually prefer to use it now.

Old people here use them all the time. Everyone uses them. Older men still squat, but younger men now pee standing up. (crazy kids)

One way is to hold your hand on the wall for support. But leaning forward, resting your torso on your thighs is a great way to start. After that you'll get use to the motions.

As for wiping! most people through asia use toilet paper on the dining room table. If you have a hose (best way) spray fairly closely. Some places actually do wipe with other hand. give yorself a quick wipe, in the surrounding areas, with your hand to flick off excess water then wash your hands.

For a bucket...this requires a bit more balance. I personally dump the bucket from the back side and splash upwards with my other hand.

After a while I found that water feels way more hygenic that wiping. Seriously.
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Justin7199

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
Best. Thread. Ever.
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poochythedog

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
I do quite a bit of yoga and can do backbends, handstands and put my body in all sorts of crazy contortions and I have yet to master this squatting "pose". I shall travel to Tibet, meet a master yogi, and devote myself to his training for 20 years so that one day I can master the squatting pose and one day teach others how not to shower their pants or fecalize their hand. Mystery

Solomission

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
lol! This thread is hilarious and a fantastic question I am sure all of us who looked at the hole in the ground for the first time wish we knew the answer to!

genaro

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  • Added on: December 28th, 2006
quote:
Originally posted by poochythedog:
I do quite a bit of yoga and can do backbends, handstands and put my body in all sorts of crazy contortions


Try doing a "bridge" with your ass over the hole.

I too find it weird that I can dookie in the woods with no problem but the second there's a squat toilet below me something goes terribly wrong. I think the problem might be that you're not supposed to pull your pants down much at all cause if they scrunch up around your knees then bomb targeting ability suffers and the pants also get in the way of falling poo. It's kinda counterintuitive I guess.

Dezafinado

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  • Added on: December 29th, 2006
quote:
Originally posted by poochythedog:
Does anyone have an instructional video or pictures of how to use the squating toilets in SE Asia? The last time I used one I was without toilet paper so I had to use the little lovely hose provided to wash my kibbles-n-bits. I lost balance and got my shorts soaked. My Malaysian friend verbally told me how to do it, but I can't seam to get away with it clean. I've shat in the woods hiking without a mess but can't use an Asian toilet without 4 people holding me up and washing me down like a circus elephant...

Wow... the visual I get from your post. Thanks for the laughs! Btw, I made an instructional video if anyone wants one... $50 each. J/K

quote:
Originally posted by poochythedog:
I do quite a bit of yoga and can do backbends, handstands and put my body in all sorts of crazy contortions and I have yet to master this squatting "pose". I shall travel to Tibet, meet a master yogi, and devote myself to his training for 20 years so that one day I can master the squatting pose and one day teach others how not to shower their pants or fecalize their hand.

My dear grasshopper... try practicing the horse stance for 10-15 mins, once a day for a month. Not only will you become Squattius Maximus but the exercise will also reverse your aging. Lean your upper torso forward as you squat halfway. This pushes your center of gravity forward and balances your front-to-rear weight distribution.


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