What did you have to sacrifice to make travel your priority?

Hi everyone,

This is following my previous thread about relationship vs traveling.

I'm in a situation right now where I have to choose between building up a relationship with my girlfriend (and her 14 years-old daughter) or going on my own and making traveling my #1 priority (since it has been a passion and dream of mine since as long as I can remember).

I can do some traveling with my girlfriend (mostly family traveling) but it wouldn't be the way I like it, which means visiting places I like, taking lots of pictures and (most of all) enjoying the freedom of solo traveling. For example, I like to go to a big city and spend 9-10 days exploring every inch of it while my girlfriend would like to spend only 2-3 days and go on to the next location (which would leave me on my appetite and kind of frustrated, so to speak). I also find it very stressful to have so little time to visit a city.

I'd like to know what did have to sacrifice to make traveling your #1 priority? And was it worth it?

Thanks again!

Ben.

benleb wrote:I'd like to know what did have to sacrifice to make traveling your #1 priority?

My flat, my job and my relationship.

benleb wrote: And was it worth it?

Absolutely, completely, totally.

I had the time of my life, I always knew I was meant to go.
Giving up the dream would have meant regret and misery and yearning.
I dont regret giving these things for a minute.

benleb wrote:I'd like to know what did have to sacrifice to make traveling your #1 priority?

My apartment that is close enough to work to take my bicycle. Moved back home to my rent-free parents' house.Sold my car and bought a bus pass. I've spoiled myself of having a car for the past 5 years but the transition to public transportation has not been as difficult as I thought; that's probably because there's always a car available for me to drive at night and on the weekends. It's extremely satisfying when you realize how much money you're saving taking public transportation.

I spoiled myself of buying name-brand clothes every month prior to my decision of saving for a RTW trip but since my decision I haven't bought a new article of clothing in 4 months. I wear the same pants and shoes to work every week.

When I graduated from college (8 months ago) I desperately wanted to buy a nice car but thinking back, I realize how superficial that desire was. I was so close to buying one and I'm glad that I didn't. I am more than wiling to sacrifice social status to save up for my dream trip.

I gave up my Saturdays which was also a tough decision. I picked up a Saturday only job doing cashier work making less than half of what I make at my full-time. Instead of spending money on my Saturday days off I'm making money.

My only monthly fixed cost is my bus-pass, $50, besides my bus pass I don't think I spent more than $50 in all of last month. Thanks mom and dad for letting me sleep for free and feeding me haha!
I put away ALL of my full-time income and can even save money just on my Saturday-only income. The day I get my direct-deposited income from my full-time it goes immediately into my savings account. Out of sight out of mind. I don't even feel like I have the money from my full-time. I am just living off the weekly $60 checks from my Saturday job.

It's all about how bad you want it ... and I WANT IT BAD.

benleb wrote: And was it worth it?

Although I haven't departed yet for my RTW trip and won't for another half-year, I feel like the change in my over-consuming lifestyle now to over-saving is in itself worth it. I now feel like there's purpose in my life; something to look forward to. I can't wait to put in my notice at my job that I'm quitting. But the longer and harder the journey is to get there just makes it that much sweeter.

Benleb, no regrets man. Do what YOU want to do. If she really is the one for you, things will work out in the end. Go get lost my friend. See you on the road.

All the standard stuff for me as well...beautiful & successful woman, flat, best job I've ever had, lost touch with most of friends, gave away most of my stuff,...etc,etc,etc.

I gave all this stuff up so I could chase my dreams and it's made me a better person w/o a doubt. I've surpassed every expectation I had when I first set out on this unknown road. My resume is better, I have more $ now then when I started ( been able to do professional work in a remote land), I couldn't care less about the stuff I gave up, and I've seen/done/gone to places that never in a million years could I imagine.

Seriously, pinch me!

I wouldn't change a thing about my decision to go but at the same time it's been ridiculously hard and very lonely. After all my traveling, I think now all I'm really need in life is good, honest woman to be content. It's actually not a bad spot to be in and I'm only here because I made the decision to live out my dreams.

I've met many couples traveling and it can be done. Love shouldn't prevent you from accomplishing your dreams...seems silly to think otherwise IMO.

Best of luck either way!

Thanks everyone for sharing your stories

I've been really thinking about it a lot and I'm still one the fence about what I'm going to do.

On one hand, I can leave my girlfriend, go on my own and work like a dog while basically having no life for something like 2 years until I get enough money to leave for my trip. This would be my unique goal and it would be kind-of hard and lonely, I guess (but very rewarding in the end, I'm sure).

I would have to move back to the big city and keep on working as a graphic designer - which I was getting tired of and was in the process of a light carreer change. But I guess that I could manage some more work in that field if I'm leaving my dream in 18-24 months.

On the other hand, I could keep my goal of a RTW trip in maybe 5-6 years from now while having a family life, which I've really never had before. I could buy a house with my girlfriend with the goal of selling it when I'd have enough money to leave for my RTW trip. This way, the rent I'm currently paying for my appartment would go in my pocket (instead of giving it to someone else).

By choosing this option, I could continue working on my career-change while learning to be in a relationship, which would also be a nice voyage. I also have the chance of being there for her 14 years-old daughter and continue experiencing what's like to live with a teenager (with all the good & bag stuff that comes with it ).

Of course, it'd would have to be clear (to my girlfriend) that I'm buying this house uniquely for the purpose of investing my cash (instead of paying a rent to someone else) to get it back by selling the house (or my part) in 5-6 years. That would leave me some time to save some money on the side in the meantime, while living a family life. Of course, one day I'll be leaving for sure to live my dream of a RTW, which I'd like to do solo.

::

So, don't know which is best for now... I guess it also depends on how my girlfriend would deal with the second option.

What do you think? Thanks

Ben.

P.S.: Btw, I'm 40 years-old and my relationship is only 10 months-old.

benleb wrote:
Of course, it'd would have to be clear (to my girlfriend) that I'm buying this house uniquely for the purpose of investing my cash (instead of paying a rent to someone else) to get it back by selling the house (or my part) in 5-6 years. That would leave me some time to save some money on the side in the meantime, while living a family life. Of course, one day I'll be leaving for sure to live my dream of a RTW, which I'd like to do solo.

mmmm - i would say that this option will go down like a lead balloon. You seriously think she will go for it????!!! Very doubtful - especially as she has a daughter to think of who will be approaching college/university age by then.
It is also a pretty selfish ends to a means - like your simply using her as a meal ticket to save money and when you have enough you'll sell her/the house and take off!

I would get out now if I were you - it will be easier in the long run.
If you stay, I would say that there would be a high chance that you wont go.

I left the Uk and "sacrificed" my house, all my possessions,a smoking hot girlfriend and a high flying career in corporate IT. Except it did not feel like a sacrifice at all, none of those things mattered to me more than making the change to go travelling around the world and seeing where I would end up.

Along the way, I met the amazing woman that would be my wife and now eight years later I am 41 years old, travelled RTW twice, one beautiful daughter and another on the way, running my own business in the South Island of NZ and we are planning another RTW when the kids are 4 and 5.

I point I am trying to make is, whislt it is hard to walk away from someone, this is your only shot at life (unless you are Hindu) and to be blunt you are not getting any younger. If you don't not do this now, when are you likely to?

I guess it would easier to get out of the relationship if I'd already had the money for my RTW... However, I'm heading towards making the decision to make my dream my #1 priority - which means getting out of the relationship and setting up a plan to leave for my RTW trip in 2 years max.

As some if you had mentioned, building a relationship doesn't seem like it's compatible with my goal, the lifestyle I want and who I am at the moment.

I didn't have a car throughout my undergraduate career and instead relied on my bicycle, which is really uncomfortable in Cleveland, Ohio during the winter when we get ~170" of snow a year. But on the plus side, I couldn't go anywhere to spend my money so maybe it was ok.

I also left the man I love most in the entire world here in Cleveland, which was one of the hardest things I ever had to do and I never stopped missing him every single day. Now that I'm back things might work out for us, I hope, but I obviously didn't know that when I left so it was tough.

Compared to others, my wife and I will sacrifice very little when we leave next spring.

1. I will have to quit my job (in some ways this is a big loss for me, but it does make me crazy sometime). My sweetheart will get a leave of absence!

2. We will sell a lot of our stuff, including our car

3. We have definitely cut down on /eliminated buying stuff, eating out, going places on the weekend, but this is pretty easy to do due to our motivation to save $$$

I guess we are lucky!

I think you need to figure out what you want in life, and then whether your girlfriend and you are compatible in what you both want from life.

It's also important to set clear goals for those things you really want, e.g. a house, a RTW, college-savings for her daughter, etc. and a time frame for achieving them and a plan on moving towards them.

When my husband and first got together as boyfriend/girlfriend. I told him my dream was to go to Africa for six months. And he said 'cool.' Then he did something that really impressed me, he talked to me seriously about how we could save toward the goal.

It took 5 years. I didn't make much money then. We had thought we would make it in 4, but we were short and jointly made the decision to wait another year to have all the cash we needed. But the key thing is that we were both committed to this goal so we could plan together for it.

Similarly, later on we decided to have a child together, we made a joint commitment. So, even when things were bumpy I knew he wanted what I wanted.

To me, that's the key. You both need to be jointly committed to whatever future you want to share. If not, then it just won't work out. Sure, you don't always want everything the same way and with the same intensity, but you'd better agree on the general outline and especially on what is worth sacrificing for.

I'm sorry if I'm getting a bit preachy here, but I want to save you heartache down the road.
You might think about getting a counselor for couples to talk these things through. You could discuss essential values then and really get a hang on what you share and where you differ.

Good luck working things out and reaching a wonderful future.

I took a job I knew i wouldn't like because it paid very well.

I have an old prepaid phone. I buy phone cards and I am barely able to use up all the value. Actually, I don't think of this a sacrifice because I never cared much for cell phones. I know they are a necessity, but the cheapest version is all I'm willing to pay for. Most of my friends spend around 70 USD per month on their phone. I average about 10 dollars. Also, no cable and no gym membership for me. Again, I don't consider it a sacrifice. I am not traveling internationally until 2011 to save money. That IS a bit of a sacrifice, but I am having a good time discovering my local area, meeting international people who live around here, and finding the joy in domesticity. Right now it's a simple life, but it IS a life.

Been a long time since I wrote something on the boards (and looks like the last reply was a while ago) but anyways here's my 2 cents.

What I'd be sacrificing for my RTW (hopefully April '10)?
Some of the usual stuff (well paying job, a fair amount of cash, and a chance of going up the corporate ladder) plus greater unpredictability that some folks here; since I'm not sure I'd be able to get back to the US (currently on a work visa), some amount of delay in getting married after I complete my trip (since currently not in a relationship)

Will it be worth it?
I certainly hope so and signs are looking good based on the other responses on this board. The one thing I do feel strongly (and not just from the cliched quotes) is that in my past, I have a greater tendency of regret not doing stuff and so far (knock on wood) things have seemed to work out to fit the puzzle piece (even though they sometimes don't seem that way initially)

Like the last poster said, knowing what you want and rough idea of the outline helps IMHO.

good luck with the decision-making,
S

I think im lucky. Im not giving up much. Ive always wanted to go travelling, dreaming about it for real since i was about 18. i was single at the time but starting college so said id see that through. In a relationship now 2 and a half years and im lucky that he's always wanted to travel too, so wont be leaving him behind.

Finished college with two degrees. Happy but was something i did for my parents and cause its just the way society goes. you know, school - college - career - mortgage... blah blah. After leaving college i just got a minimum wage job and i save pretty much everything. Love my job, so easy and i work with great people.

I guess im a 23 year old girl who doesnt buy much clothes, make-up, accessories etc. which my friends think is crazy and 'couldnt do!' themselves! Of the money i dont save, i socialise with. Couldnt give that up, haha!

So really just giving up my minimum wage job as a sales assistant and i wont get to see my close friends and family for a while. but hey, im young and very lucky

(155 days to go)